SEA CREATURES ARE MASTERS OF DECEIT. I AM SURE you are familiar
with the anglerfish, which lurks in dark waters behind a luminescent lure that attracts prey right into its maw. We do not have anglerfish here (and I cannot say I am sorry for that), but there was once a fascinating display poster about them in the lobby.
We all lie to obtain what we need. The seahorse, who impersonates a strand of kelp. The blenny, who poses as a cleaner fish, biding its time to take a bite of its gracious host. Even my own ability to change colors, my camouflage, is a falsehood at its core. A lie that’s on its last legs, I am afraid, as I find it ever more difficult to shift to my surroundings.
Humans are the only species who subvert truth for their own entertainment. They call them jokes. Sometimes puns. Say one thing when you mean another. Laugh, or feign laughter out of politeness.
I cannot laugh.
But I heard a joke today that I found clever as well as timely. I should warn you that the punch line is rather macabre.
The young family had paused in front of my tank and the father (for it is usually the father, which I suppose is why they sometimes call them “dad jokes”) turned to his small child and said: What did the tiger say when he got his tail caught in the lawn mower?
(Do not ask me why a jungle cat is in the presence of a turf-grooming machine. Jokes are often nonsensical.)
The child, already giggling, said: I don’t know! What?
And the father answered: It won’t be long now.
I would have laughed, were such a thing possible.
It won’t be long now. This is true. I can feel my very cells struggling to carry out their typical functions. Tomorrow, a new month begins, and perhaps it will be the last time I notice that Terry has flipped the calendar on his wall. My inevitable end draws near.
