NOVEMBER 1, 1994
WHEN I ARRIVED HOME THE DAY AFTER HUGH’S PARTY, MY SISTER WAS THE ONE TO greet me at the door. My dad was still at the hospital with my mam, and even though I was really worried about her, I couldn’t stop smiling.
Because I’d had the best day of my life yesterday. This morning, too. With my friends. I didn’t want to go home, but I knew I couldn’t stay at their house forever. I would miss my mother too much. But now that she wasn’t here, I just felt lonely again.
Still, knowing I now had five friends of my own helped keep the smile on my face.
Hugh.
Claire.
Gibsie.
Shannon.
Patrick.
And me.
“Meds,” Caoimhe reminded me the moment the front door closed. “Right now, missy.” Catching me by the hand, she led me to the kitchen, where she rummaged in one of the cabinets for the pill bottle with my name on it. There were lots of them. “Here we are,” she mused, popping open the cap and handing me a pill. “You know what to do.”
Sighing heavily, I walked over to the sink and retrieved a glass from the draining board. Filling the glass with tap water, I chugged back the medicine and then opened my mouth for my sister’s inspection.
“Good girl,” she said approvingly before giving me a hug. “Now, tell me about your sleepover.”
“I had the best time ever,” I told her, feeling excited all over again. “And I made new friends. I have five now, Caoimhe. Five friends! Claire, Shannon, Patrick, Gibsie, and Hugh!”
“Go on.” Lowering herself down on a chair at the kitchen table, she rested her chin in her hand and smiled. “Give me all the juicy details.”
“We had the party, and then we did the trick-or-treating and watched Hocus Pocus, and we had a midnight snack, and we…” I stopped myself just in time and skipped over the egging part. “Stayed up super late, and then Sinead made us pancakes for breakfast.” Flopping onto the chair next to her, I sighed happily. “I think I love him.”
“Which one?”
“Hugh,” I sighed, clutching my chest. “He’s so nice, Caoimhe. Like so, so nice, and he’s pretty, and he holds the door for me, and he gave me an extra pillow from his room, and he cut my pancake when I couldn’t do it.” I heaved out another sigh, missing him already. “He’s just so sweet.”
My sister laughed. “So the crush is in full force.”
“How’s Mam?” I asked then. “Is she coming home soon?”
“Dad called and said she’ll be home in a day or two,” she told me. “She’s feeling much better.”
I sagged in relief. “Thank God.”
“I know,” she replied, giving my hand a squeeze. “Now, how do you feel about throwing on a scary movie in the sitting room and sharing your trick-or-treating haul with your big sister?”
Later that night, when I was tucked up in bed, I heard the familiar sound of my bedroom door opening inward, and I looked up from my storybook to see Mark in my doorway.
“Hey, munchkin,” he said, closing and locking the door behind him. My stomach sank. “What are you doing up so late?”
“Reading.” A wave of panic swept over me, and I felt my body stiffen when he walked toward me. “Why are you here?”
“I came over to keep your sister company,” he explained, coming to sit on the side of my bed. “She fell asleep on the couch, so I thought I’d come and check on you.”
He was always checking on me.
It used to be okay, but I wasn’t so sure anymore.
I didn’t think I wanted him to keep checking on me.
I didn’t want him to fix me again.
Not ever again.
“Is my daddy home yet?”
“Nope.” He smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear. “It’s just us, munchkin.”
“When is your daddy picking you up?”
“I’m sleeping over tonight,” he explained, hand resting on my shoulder. “Your dad’s staying at the hospital with your mam, so they’re none the wiser.”
“Oh.” My panic grew. “Okay.”
“So your sister told me something today and I’m not happy about it.”
“What?”
“Caoimhe said you slept at a boy’s house last night.”
“Hugh.” I felt myself smile. “He’s really nice.”
“Hmm.” Mark didn’t look happy. “I don’t know how I feel about you cheating on me, munchkin.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.
“I don’t want to share you.”
A shiver racked through me. “Share me?”
“You’re my special girl, remember?” He placed his big hand on my leg. “And I don’t want you being anyone else’s special girl.”
My face grew warm.
“You’re blushing.” He leaned in again, closer this time, and whispered, “I like it when you blush for me.”
I wasn’t blushing; I was frightened. But if I told him, he would get cross with me, and it always hurt extra bad when he was cross. It was better to not make him angry. I shivered, feeling strange in my belly again.
“You know what I think, munchkin?” He walked his fingers up my leg. “I think you need some of my special medicine again.” His eyes trailed over me. “You don’t want to end up like your mother, do you?” He slid his hand under my nightdress. “Sick and rotting in a hospital bed?”
I shook my head, feeling sad. “But it hurts.”
“Only for a little while,” he coaxed, wrapping his big hand around my throat. “You can handle it.” He pushed me onto my back and dragged my nightie up to my waist. “Like the other times.”
Shivering, I clenched my eyes shut and thought happy thoughts.
I thought of Hugh.
