JOEY
LATE.
I was late again, and it wasn’t fucking good enough. I was a disgrace.
I knew it when I woke up this morning on the mattress in a pool of my own vomit, and I knew it now as I tried to find my way through the maze of corridors at the maternity hospital.
Going through the horrors of a particularly rough comedown, I used my sleeve to wipe the cold sweat beading my brow, as I waited my turn at the receptionist’s desk.
“Yes?”
“I’m looking for the ultrasound department,” I mumbled, trying my hardest to keep my shit in order and look somewhat presentable. “I’m, ah, my girlfriend has an appointment.”
“Name?” “Joey Lynch.”
“No, love. I need your partner’s name.”
“Oh, shit, yeah.” Swallowing deeply, I shook my head and said, “Aoife Molloy.”
The woman behind the desk clicked a few buttons on her computer before saying, “She already had her anomaly scan. She’s waiting for the consultant now. Straight down the corridor. Last door on the left.”
“Thanks.” Repressing a full body shudder when a wave of nausea attacked me, I pushed it down and hurried off in the direction the lady had sent me.
After fumbling with a few doors, I finally located the right room and slipped inside. And there she was, sitting all alone in the consultant’s waiting room. The moment the door closed behind me Molloy’s attention snapped my way.
“You’re late,” she accused, tears filling her blazing eyes. “I know.” Guilt churned inside of me. “Can I come in?”
“What’s the point?” she tossed back bitterly. “It’s not like you’ll remember
any of this.” Fuck.
Shoving my hands through my hair, I closed the space between us and leaned in to kiss her.
“Don’t!” She turned away and my heart cracked clean open in my chest. “You’re high and you stink.”
“I’m not high,” I tried to persuade her. “I’m not, I swear, Aoi—”
“Don’t, Joe,” she choked out, holding a hand up to warn me off. “Just don’t.”
“How was the scan?” I asked, sinking down on the chair next to hers. “Is the baby okay?” I swallowed down another surge of bile and forced myself to look her in the eyes. “Are you?”
“The baby’s fine,” she replied, voice thick with emotion. “Where were
you? This was an important scan, Joey.”
“I know,” I groaned, feeling like a piece of shit, as I pressed the heel of my hand against my forehead. “I overslept.”
“You mean you got high with Shane and your boys last night and forgot about us,” she snapped back, resting a hand on her bump.
My heart cracked in my chest.
“When the doctor comes in, I don’t want you to say a word,” she instructed in a strained voice. “Just…just stay quiet and let me handle everything, okay? I don’t need another report going in against me.”
“Aoife, I’m so fucking sorry.“
“No,” she warned when I reached for her hand. “Not here, Joe,” she bit out, blinking her tears away. “I can’t do this here.”
Swallowing deeply, I shoved my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie and attempted to sit straight and not sway.
“Look at you,” she said, as tears trickled freely down her cheeks. “Wake the hell up and look at yourself, will you!”
Stiffening in my chair, I tried not to let her words wholeheartedly consume me. “I love you.” Panicking when she didn’t respond, I reached for her again. “Aoife – did ya hear me?”
“Yeah, and you love that shit you inject into your veins more.” She batted my hand away. “I don’t want anything to do with that kind of love. Keep your
love for the drugs.”
“What do you want me to say?” I demanded, feeling lost and fucking broken. “You asked me to come and I’m here.”
“I don’t want your words, Joey,” she cried. “I want action.” “I’m here, aren’t I?”
She shook her head. “I’m not the rest of them, you know. I’m not ever going to give up on you.” Sniffling she added, “Remember that, Joe.”
“Why tell me that?” I asked, thoroughly fucking rattled by her words.
She looked me dead in the eyes when she said, “So you can stop disappointing me.”
