AOIFE
Secretly delighted that Joey was given a two-week suspension from Tommen, I cherished every moment of having him with me.
The truth was, I felt better when he was around. More grounded.
More supported.
More like myself.
Unlike with my mother, I didn’t feel embarrassed or inadequate when I had to ask him questions about AJ. It was like Home Economics class all over again, and I had the best partner. He was so patient with me, even when I had no patience for myself. During the first week of his suspension, he rarely left our sides. By the second week, he managed to coax me out of the house with the lure of a trip to the shop. The boy knew my weakness and targeted it with unapologetic deviousness.
“How would you feel about taking a spin over to the manor?” Joey asked on Tuesday morning, as he drove us back from the doctor’s office after our son’s two-week checkup.
The Pogues’ “A Rainy Night in Soho” played on the radio, and the lyrics wrapped around my heart like a warm blanket.
“Everyone will be at school, so it’ll just be Edel and Sean,” he quickly added, reaching across the console to give my thigh a reassuring squeeze. “Nothing too stressful, I promise.”
“Of course, Joe,” I replied, grabbing his hand. “God, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think that you’d want to bring AJ over to see your family.”
“I want to bring both of you over,” he corrected gruffly. “But it doesn’t have to be today if you’re not feeling up to it.”
“Why wouldn’t I feel up to it?”
“You’ve had a tough couple of weeks, Molloy.” “So have you.”
He snorted. “Hardly.”
“You’ve literally done every single night feed for the past seven nights.” “Because you literally grew a human for the past nine months.”
“You think I can do this, right, Joe?” I asked, glancing back to check on AJ, who was nestled in his car seat in the back. “You think I can be a good mom, right?”
“I don’t think it, Molloy, I know it.”
“I’m getting better at it, though, right?” I chewed on my lip, feeling another wave of uncertainty. “It’s just that I love him so much, Joe. Every time I look at him, I get completely overwhelmed thinking about all the things that could go wrong. All the things I don’t know. The thought of doing something wrong or making a mistake with him makes the anxiety inside me multiply until I can’t breathe.”
“I feel the exact same way,” he replied, squeezing my hand.
“You do?”
He nodded. “With you, Molloy.”
My breath hitched, and my heart squeezed tight. “Joe.”
“Listen to me, you are an unbelievable mom, and that kid is lucky to have you,” he urged. “You don’t need to second-guess a thing you do, Aoif. You really don’t, because you’ve got this, baby. You’re the glue. The three of us are here together because of you.” He squeezed my hand again. “AJ wouldn’t be here without you, and neither would I. So don’t doubt yourself just because you’re temporarily out of steam. The only reason you’ve been running on fumes in the first place is because you’ve spent your entire pregnancy picking up the slack for me.”
His words wrapped around my heart, and I shivered. “Joe, it’s okay. I understand. You were sick.”
“Yeah, I was,” he agreed. “And I can’t change that part of our story, but I can lighten the load for you now. I can step up now, Aoif, so let me do it, okay?” He glanced at me, his clear green eyes imploring me to listen. “Let me take care of you.”
“Joey?” Edel called from behind the kitchen door. “Is that you, love?”
Standing in the utility room, I watched as my boyfriend fought an internal battle.
I could see it in his eyes.
I knew exactly what was going on in his head. Joe was willing himself not to run.
He was willing himself to trust the woman on the other side of the door.
“You’ve got this,” I whispered, reaching out to trace his cheek with my thumb.
Finding that inner strength I adored, he took a steadying breath, nodded to himself, and called out, “Yeah, it’s me.” I watched as he tightened his hold on AJ’s car seat and pushed the door open. “I brought a few people to see you.”
Pride.
It surged inside me.
When we stepped into the kitchen, I was too overwhelmed to speak. “Look at you,” Edel whispered, clutching the front of her apron with floury hands as her tear-filled gaze moved from me to AJ before settling on Joey. “Look at the man standing in my kitchen.”
“Holy shit, Joe,” I spluttered when he let me inside his new place. “This whole place is yours?” I spun around with our son in my arms, taking in the huge open-plan kitchen/living area. “Are these people millionaires?”
“I think they are,” he replied with a frown as he set the empty car seat on the table. “It’s pretty wild, huh?”
“I’d say,” I laughed, then quickly turned back to him when realization hit me. “Wait, what?”
“Move in with me.”
I stood there, stunned, trying to process his words. “Huh?”
“Move in with me, Molloy,” Joey repeated. “Live with me.” “Here?”
“Here,” he confirmed with a nod. “To start with. Until I get you that mansion in the country, that is.”
My heart raced as my eyes searched his face for any sign of a joke.
I found none.
“Of course, the ring will come first, when I’ve saved up the money,” he continued, pulling a packet of Rolos from his hoodie pocket and placing them on the table. “Consider these the sweetener.”
“You’re serious,” I breathed, feeling dizzy as I watched him close the space between us. “You’re not joking.”
“No, I’m not,” he replied, placing a hand on my hip. “Be with me.”
“I am with you, Joe.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Be with me, Molloy.” “In what way?”
“In every way.”
Whoa.
“I love you.” He reached out and stroked AJ’s soft curls. “I’ve spent a third of my life loving you, Aoife Molloy, and I don’t plan on stopping.” Leaning in close, he pressed his forehead to mine and exhaled a shaky breath. “I’ve made a lot of terrible decisions,” he admitted quietly. “But the worst, by far, was hurting you and pushing you away.”
“It’s okay, Joe,” I whispered, trembling now. “I forgive you.”
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. “But I will earn it. Because whatever comes our way, from here on out, I’ll be right beside you.” He nuzzled my nose with his before pressing a kiss to my lips. “Because in this version of forever, we get the happy ending, Molloy.”
