AOIFE
THE CALL CAMEย on a Sunday night.
The one Iโd spent the entire summer waiting for.
When the unknown number flashed across my screen, I debated answering, but something inside of me told meย notย to ignore it.
Sprawled out on the couch, looking like a beached walrus, and stuffing my face with grapes, I snagged my phone off the sitting room floor and clicked accept. โHello?โ I said with a yawn, using the remote to turn the volume down on the television, whereย Scream, my old creature comfort, was playing.
โMolloy.โ My heart.
My poor, poor heart jackknifed in my chest at the sound of his familiar deep timbre. โJoe?โ
โYeah, baby, itโs me.โ
โJoe?โ I cried, face contorting with emotion, as I tried to roll myself off the couch, knocking my punnet of grapes all over the floor in the process. โIs that really you?โ
โItโs really me,โ his voice came down the line and I had to sit back down because my legs were shaking too badly to keep me upright.
โOh my god.โ The floodgates opened and I cried loud and ugly down the line for a solid three minutes before I had the ability to compose myself. โHey, stud.โ
โHowโs my queen?โ
โMissing you,โ I choked out through tears. โHow are you calling me right now? Are you home? Oh my god, please tell me that youโre back in Ballylaggin and on the way over to my house.โ
โSoon,โ he told me. โI promise, baby. Iโll be back to you soon.โ โThenย how?โ
โFinally earned myself some phone call privileges,โ he explained. โSo, expect aย lotย of phone calls.โ
โWhat are you calling off?โ
โThereโs a communal phone in the day room.โ โIโm surprised you remembered my number?โ
โAre you kidding? I memorized your number when I was twelve.โ
โYou have no idea how good it is to hear your voice,โ I told him through tearful laughter. โGod, Joe, Iโm shaking so hard I can hardly hold my phone to my ear.โ
โI know the feeling,โ I heard him say. โIโm sorry it took me so long to call you. Iโve been trying since the day I left, I promise. Itโs justโฆโ He sighed heavily down the line. โThey have all these rules and shit here, and thereโs no getting around any of them.โ
โSo, youโre doing okay?โ I dared to ask, and then clammed up tight with tension. โYouโre staying clean?โ
โSixty-two days,โ he replied, sounding more even toned than he had in years. โThey even gave me this weird little gold chip for hitting the two- month mark.โ
โThey did?โ Sniffling, I clenched my eyes shut and sagged against the couch. โIโm so proud of you.โ
“So, how’s it going?”
“Uh, you know,” I replied with a sigh, feet tapping with excitement, as I feigned playful boredom. “This asshole guy I used to go out with abandoned me, so I’ve been pretty pissed about that.”
“What a prick.”
“He is,” I agreed with a nod. “Turns out I’m having his baby, too.” “No shit.”
“I shit you not.โ
“And the prick still left you?”
“Yep.” I feigned another sigh. “Turns out he’s this huge drug addict.” “I hear drug addicts make the worst boyfriends.”
“They really do.โ
“Does he at least have a big dick?” โHe definitely has big dick energy.โ
โOkay, Iโm not even going to pretend to know what that means.โ
Sniffling, I choked out a pained laugh. โKeep talking. I need to hear your voice.โ
โAoif.โ There was a pause and then his words came in a flurry. โChrist, Aoif, Iโm so sorry, baby. For all of it. For leaving you. For the letter. Jesus, I canโt into put into words how bad I feel for everything I put you through these past few months. When I came here, I wasn’t myself. The truth is, I haven’t been myself in a very long time. I’m not sure if you’ve ever met the real me or if you’ll even like him, but Iโm trying. Iโm trying so fucking hard to get back to you โโ
โI already love him,โ I blurted out. โAll of your shapes and versions, remember?โ
โYou have no idea how much it means to hear you say that.โ โWhat? I love you?โ
I heard him sniff before saying, โYeah.โ
โWell, I love you, Joey Lynch,โ I croaked out, wiping my cheeks with my free hand. โAnd apparently, I canโt stop.โ
โThank fuck for that,โ he replied. โBecause, apparently, I canโt stop loving you, either, Aoife Molloy.โ
โJoe, Iโm so โ ugh!โ I sucked in a sharp breath.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded, instantly on alert. “Nothing. Baby’s just kicking me really hard these days.”
He was quiet for a long moment, clearly absorbing my words, before asking, โHowโs my baby?โ
โGrowing by the minute,โ I half-laughed/half-sobbed as I stroked my bump. โYou should see me now, Joe. Iโm like a beached whale.โ
โI wish I was there with you,โ he admitted quietly. โSo fucking sorry for leaving you alone in this, Molloy. Youโll never know how much.โ
โJust come home,โ I whispered, feeling a shiver roll through me. โGet better and come home to us.โ
โI am.โ
โWow.โ
โWow, what?โ
โYou saidย I am.โ I clenched my eyes shut as a wave of hopeful warmth washed over my heart. โNotย I will.โ Sniffling, I added, โYou donโt know how long Iโve waited to hear you say the wordsย I am.โ
โAbout time, huh?โ โJust a tad overdue.โ
โThatโs putting it mildly.โ
โJoe.โ I couldnโt stop myself from smiling as I soaked in every second of having his voice on the other line. โI canโt believe weโre finally talking.โ
โI know,โ he agreed thickly. โSo, come on, queen, talk to me. Tell me whatโs happening at home. Give me all your gossip.โ
โOh, soย nowย you want my gossip?โ
โThe heart wants what it wants, Molloy.โ
โYeah, it does.โ I bit down on my lip and grinned. โSo, gossip. HmโฆAl and Podge are in America for the summer.โ
โNo shit?โ
โI shit you not.โ I choked out a laugh. โThey managed to snag J-1 visas.โ โDoing what?โ
โNannying.โ
โAre you shitting me?โ
โI swear itโs true.โ
โJesus Christ,โ he chuckled, sounding half-amused, half-appalled. โThose two shouldnโt be left in charge of a tray of eggs.โ
โHey, youโre preaching to the converted,โ I agreed with a snicker. โAnd Caseyโs gone to Benidorm for two weeks with some of our class from school, so you can only imagine the deviant adventures sheโs having over there.โ
โActually, Iโd rather not,โ he drawled. โSo, youโre alone, queen?โ โYeah.โ I sighed in contentment. โBut itโs not so bad.โ
โNo?โ
โNot since you called.โ โAoif.โ
โOh my god. I almost forgot to tell you!โ I gasped and slapped a hand on
my head. โDamn this baby brain.โ โTell me what?โ
โI had a visit from Paul.โ Silence.
โChill, Joe.โ His silence spoke volumes and I rolled my eyes. โIโm eight months pregnant. Heโs not looking to steal me away.โ
โI wouldnโt put anything past that prick.โ
โWell, that prick came bearing the most amazing news.โ โWhich is?โ
I sucked in a deep breath before blurting, โShane Holland is in prison.โ
Another long stretch of silence followed.
โDid you hear me, Joe?โ I repeated when he didnโt respond. โThe drug squad caught him up in a massive drug bust. According to Paulโs dad, heโs looking at some serious time.โ
โCan you, ahโฆโ I heard him exhale shakily before adding, โCan you say that again?โ
Not leaving anything out, I told him word for word about the conversation I had with Paul at The Dinniman. โOf course, I wasnโt entirely sure if he was being truthful,โ I added when I finished. โSo, I did a little snooping of my own and itโs all true, Joe. Heโs gone.โ
โFuck.โ
โHow do you feel about that?โ โHow do I feel?โ
โYeah.โ I shrugged. โI mean, I know you had this weird bond with
Shane.โ
โAoife, I feel like the weight of the world has just been lifted off my shoulders,โ he interrupted me to say. โI was dreading having to deal with him.โ
โYeah, I know what you mean,โ I agreed. โEvery time I had to pass him on the street since you left, he would wink or leer, or make some snide comment about how he couldnโt wait for his best customer to come back to town.โ
โHe didnโt threaten you, did he?โ
โNo, no, nothing like that,โ I replied honestly. โHe was just being Shane.
His usual asshole self.โ
โI canโt believe heโs actually in prison.โ
โWell, now you have one more thing to look forward to when you come home in three weeks,โ I told him with a smile. โA Shane-less Ballylaggin.โ
More silence. It unsettled me. โJoe?โ
โListen to me,โ he said, tone thick and gravelly. โI donโt want you to worry about anything, okay, but thereโs talks of them keeping me here a little longer.โ
My heart sank into my ass. โHow much longer?โ โI donโt know.โ
โWhat?โ My breath hitched in my throat. โBut youโre supposed to get out
on the 22ndย of August, right? Fourteen weeks, Joe. Thatโs what they said. The first two weeks for detox and then the twelve-week treatment plan afterwards. Iโve been marking it off on the calendar. Thatโs what they said.โ
โI know, baby,โ he groaned, sounding pained โBut Darren went meddling in shit he has no business meddling in, and apparently, I canโt sign myself out. I have to be discharged, and the doctor heading up my treatment thinks itโs a good idea.โ
โBut if you stay, that means you wonโt be home in time โโ
โIโll be home before you have the baby,โ he cut me off and said. โIย willย be there for you.โ
โJoe,โ I squeezed out, clutching the phone with a death grip. โI canโt do this on my own.โ
โYou wonโt have to,โ he vowed. โIโm coming home to you, Molloy. I promise.โ