AOIFE
I WAS HALF-WAY through my shift at work, sweltering in the early August heat, and feeling like I had hooves for feet, when my boss stopped me dead in my tracks.
“Aoife,” he said, taking the tray I was attempting to carry into the kitchen out of my hands. “How are ya, love?”
“Fine,” I replied, instantly suspicious. “How are you, Garry?” “To be honest, I’m a bit concerned about you, love.”
“Why?”
“Well…” Red-faced, he gestured to my stomach and shrugged. “I’m just thinking that it might be time you consider taking it easy, pet. You look exhausted. Absolutely dead on your feet.”
Ha.
No fucking way was he getting rid of me that easily. If I left early, it could mess with my maternity leave.
He might not take me back afterwards. I had too much to lose.
I had a baby to raise, dammit.
“I’m not due for another eight weeks,” I reminded him. “I don’t plan on starting my maternity leave for another six weeks, Garry. You know this. We agreed on it.”
“I know what we agreed, but aren’t you tired, love?”
I’m beyond tired. “I’m happy to work.”
“I don’t want you carrying heavy trays back and forth to the kitchen anymore.”
“Then put me behind the bar,” I argued. “Or doing the pot wash in the kitchen. Whatever. I don’t care. But I need to work, Gar. I need the money.”
“And you’re a great little worker,” he tried to fob me off by saying. “We’re lucky to have you.”
“Then let me get back to work,” I said, snatching my tray back, and stepping around him. “Because I have another six weeks of work left, and I plan on showing up for every shift.”
 |
“LOOK AT THE SIZE OF YOU,” Paul whistled, when I came to take his order a little while later. He was sitting alone in a booth and that pissed me off no end, because he could have easily taken a spot at the bar and leave the space for larger groups. “Jesus, I’ve seen women having triplets with smaller bumps.”
“Hello to you, too, Paul,” I drawled, not taking one word of it to heart. Not when it was true. My bump was huge. I’d heard just about every joke, snide comment, and surprised gasp in the book.
The baby was measuring so big that I had been tested four times for gestational diabetes. The results came back negative every single time.
Apparently, I was just growing a baby sumo-wrestler.
Even Mam had warned me off buying anything in the newborn size, advising that 0-3 months was a better choice for the little whopper.
Yeah, that wasn’t terrifying at all.
“What can I get you?” I asked, flipping over to a blank page on my little notepad, and retrieving my pencil from behind my ear. “Today’s specials are seafood chowder and roast lamb, with the chef’s homemade mint sauce.”
“I actually wanted a word,” he said, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, as he eyed my belly nervously. “With you.”
“I’m sorry, but a conversation with me isn’t on the menu for today,” I replied. “Neither is forgiveness.”
“Then I’ll have the roast lamb,” he said with an awkward shrug. “And a pint of Guinness.”
“You’ve got it.” Snapping my notepad shut, I turned on my heels and headed back to the kitchen with his order before moving for the bar to pull him a pint of the black stuff.
When I returned a few minutes later with his order and set it down in front of him, my ex did the unthinkable and curled his hand around my wrist. “Two minutes,” he said, tone full of urgency. “Just two minutes of your time. That’s all I’m asking for.”
“Why should I give you one second of my time?” I demanded, yanking my hand away. “You’re damn lucky I need this job, because in any other circumstances, you’d be wearing that pint.”
“I know,” he agreed, holding his hands up. “And I would one hundred percent deserve it. But I’m leaving for college in a couple of weeks, and I
couldn’t go without at least trying to make amends.” I arched a brow. “You want to make amends?”
“I want to apologize,” he offered. “For what I did to you. Telling the
whole class you were pregnant? It was fucking terrible of me.” “Yeah,” I deadpanned. “It was.”
“I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my behavior,” he added. “About the way I treated you when we were together.”
“I don’t see why any of this needs to be rehashed, Paul,” I quickly said. “School’s finished. We’re finished. You’re going off to college to start a brand-new life. I’m about to have a baby with your arch-nemesis. Let’s just leave it at that, yeah?”
“That’s precisely why we need to talk,” he said. “Please, Aoif, just give me five minutes of your time.”
“First you said two minutes,” I grumbled, plopping down on the seat opposite his. “Now you’re saying five. I’ll give you three and a half.”
“Thank you.” Releasing a sigh of relief, he smiled at me. “Seriously, thank you.”
Remaining stony-faced, I rested my hands on my bump and waited for him to get to the point.
“I was a shitty boyfriend to you,” he started off by saying. “I didn’t pay you enough attention. I never asked you what you wanted to do. I put my needs, my feelings, and my wants before yours. I fucked around behind your back constantly, and then got blew a head gasket when you gave me a dose of my own medicine.”
“Paul, it’s in the past.”
“Yeah, it is,” he agreed with a nod. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I feel horrible about how it ended. Especially about revealing your pregnancy. And afterwards,” he continued. “When it all came out about what Lynchy was going through at home.” He shook his head. “And then the fire?” He exhaled heavily. “I never felt shittier.”
“Yeah.”
“I tried to talk to you at school after the funeral,” he reminded me. “To apologize. But you were completely closed off.”
“I had a lot on my mind.”
“I know,” he agreed. “I just… I feel so bad about everything, Aoif.” “Listen, it’s not like I was an angel,” I offered. “You were paranoid about
my friendship with Joey, and you had every right to be. It might not have
been physical, but you were dead on the money when you said that I was having an emotional affair with him.”
“But a lot of that had to do with the fact that he gave you everything I didn’t. I gave you presents. He gave you his presence,” he said calmly. “I didn’t understand it at the time, why you were so insistent about being his friend. I thought having a girlfriend was all about material shit, but then I would see you hanging out with him, and he had nothing to offer you, and still managed to give you everything you wanted.”
I shrugged helplessly. “Where’s this change of heart coming from?”
“Because I don’t want to go off to college and start a new life without making peace with my old one,” he explained. “And whether you want to hear it or not, you were a huge part of my old life for a very long time.”
“Okay.” Slightly confused, I leaned back and said, “Quick question.”
“Shoot.”
“Bella Wilkinson.” I shook my head. “Lad, what were you thinking?” “Full disclosure?”
“Go for it.”
“I was with her more than once.” His cheeks reddened. “When we were a couple.”
“Well, shit.” I grumbled, patting my belly. “Now, I’m really glad I kicked her ass.”
“I figured you were screwing Lynchy behind my back, and that was why you refused to sleep with me, so I went hell for leather with pretty much any girl who looked sideways at me.”
“I wasn’t screwing Joey,” I told him. “Nothing physical happened with Joe until that kiss in fifth year.” I narrowed my eyes. “When you and Billy doubled teamed him before getting him arrested.”
He winced. “Yeah, I know that now.”
“So, speaking about batshit girls.” The baby jabbed me in the ribs, and I shifted around in discomfort. “How’s Danielle?”
“Danielle?” He laughed humorlessly. “Danielle was a distraction from you. We parted ways shortly after the leaving cert exams in June. Last I heard she was seeing Bella’s ex from Tommen.”
“Yeah, well.” I shrugged noncommittally. “I hate to say it, but you probably dodged a bullet with that one.” Snorting, I added, “Which is rich coming from your knocked-up ex.”
He laughed in response before saying. “Listen, I wanted to do something for you before I left. Help you in some way.”
“You don’t need to do anything for me, Paul.”
“I know you’re on your own right now, while Lynchy is at rehab —” “Joe’s coming home,” I was quick to declare, hands moving protectively
to my stomach. “He’s getting better and then he’s coming back for his family.”
My ex shifted in discomfort.
“I’m sorry if that’s still hard for you to hear,” I added. “That I love him?
But it’s the truth, and I’m never going to give up on him.”
“Yeah,” he replied with a heavy sigh. “I know you’re not, which is why I did it.”
“What?” Sitting upright, I studied him warily. “What did you do, Paul?” “I’m guessing you didn’t read today’s paper.”
“No.” I rested my elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Why?”
“There was a huge drug bust in Ballylaggin last night,” he blew my mind by saying. “According to my father, they’ve had eyes on the Holland brothers for a long time now.”
My eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
Paul nodded. “He’s being remanded in Portlaoise until sentencing.” “Shane is?”
“And more with him,” he confirmed. “According to my father, Shane’s
already up for sexual assault, GBH, and several other unanswered charges. Dad reckons the judge will throw the book at him. He’ll be lucky if he doesn’t celebrate his thirtieth in prison.”
“That’s six years.” I felt my body sag in a rush of instant relief. “You’re saying he’s going away for six years?”
“Longer if the DPP have their way.”
“Jesus Christ.” I blew out a ragged breath and clutched my chest. “How did this happen?”
Paul shrugged. “Someone tipped the drug squad off about a shipment of coke, with a street value of six hundred grand.”
“What?” My mouth fell open as awareness dawned on me. As I took in everything he wasn’t saying. “How would someone know to tip them off?”
“Maybe someone has friends in the right places,” he offered, reaching across the table to cover my hand with his. “Maybe before they moved on, someone wanted to make sure his first love had a fighting chance with her first love.”
