I pretend the matches came from one of the Minervans when I light our first fire inside castle Mars. June is fetched from her makeshift prison, and soon she has prepared us a feast from the meat of goats and sheep and herbs gathered by my tribe. My tribe pretends itโs the first meal theyโve had in weeks. The others of the House are hungry enough to believe the lie. Minerva and her warband have long since slunk on home.
โWhat now?โ I ask Roque as the others eat in the square. The keep is a place of squalor still, and the light of the fire does nothing but illuminate the filth. Cassius has gone to see Quinn, so I am alone for the moment with Roque.
Titusโs tribe sits in quiet groups. The girls will not speak to the boys because of what theyโve seen some of them do. All eat with their heads down. Thereโs shame there. Antoniaโs people sit with mine and glare at Titusโs. Disgust fills their eyes. Betrayal too, even as they fill their bellies. Several scuffles have already escalated from minor words to thrown fists. I thought the victory might bring them together. But it did not. The division is worse than ever, only now I cannot define it and I think there is only one way to mend it.
Roque doesnโt have the answer I want to hear.
โThe Proctors arenโt interfering, because they want to see how and if we handle justice, Darrow. It is the deeper trait that this situation probes. How do we manage Law?โ
โBrilliant,โ I say. โSo what? Weโre supposed to whip Titus? Kill him?
That would be Law.โ
โWould it? Or would it just be vengeance?โ
โYouโre the poet. You figure it out.โ I kick a stone off the ramparts. โHe canโt stay tied up in the cellars. You know this. We will never
move on from this torpor if he does, and it has to be you who decides what to do with him.โ
โNot Cassius?โ I ask. โI think heโs earned a say. After all, he did claim him.โ I donโt want Cassius to share leadership, but I donโt want him to come out of the Institute without any prospects. I owe him.
โClaim him?โ Roque coughs. โAnd how barbaric doesย thatย sound?โ โSo Cassius should play no role?โ
โI love him like a brother, but no.โ Roqueโs narrow face tenses as he sets a hand on my arm. โCassius cannot lead this House. Not after what happened. Titusโs boys and girls might obey him, but they wonโt respect him. They wonโt think him stronger than them, even if he is. Darrow, theyย pissedย on him. We are Golds. We do not forget.โ
Heโs right.
I pull my hair in frustration and glare at Roque as though he were being difficult.
โYou donโt understand how much this means to Cassius. After Julianโs death โฆ He has to succeed. He cannot be remembered solely for what happened. He canโt.โ
Why do I care so much?
โDoesnโt matter a flying piss how much it means to him,โ Roque echoes my words with a smile. His fingers are thin like hay on my bicep. โTheyโll never fear him.โ
Fear is necessary here. And Cassius knows it. Why else is he absent in victory? Antonia has not left my side. Pollux, the gate opener, hasnโt either. They linger several meters away to associate with my power. Sevro and Thistle watch them with sly grins.
โIs that why youโre here too, you scheming weasel?โ I ask Roque. โSharing the glory?โ
He shrugs and gnaws on the leg of mutton Lea brings him. โSlag that. Iโm here for the food.โ
I find Titus in the cellar. The Minervans tied him and beat him bloody after they saw the slave girls in his tower. Thatโs their justice. He smiles as I stand over him.
โHow many of House Ceres did you kill in your raids?โ I ask. โSuck my balls.โ He spits bloody phlegm. I dodge.
I resist kicking him there, barely. Already got Pax for the day. Titus has the gall to ask what has happened.
โI rule House Mars now.โ
โOutsourced your dirty work to the Minervans, eh? Didnโt want to face me? Typical Golden coward.โ
I am afraid of him. I donโt know why. Yet I bend on a knee and stare him in the eye.
โYou are a pissing fool, Titus. You never evolved. Never got past the first test. You thought this whole thing is about violence and killing. Idiot. Itโs about civilization, not war. To have an army, you must first have a civilizationโyou went straight to violence like they wanted us to. Why do you think they gave us of Mars nothing and the other Houses have so many resources? Weโre meant to fight like mad, but weโre meant to burn out like you did. But I beat that test. Now Iโm the hero. Not the usurper. And youโre just the ogre in the dungeon.โ
โOh, huzzah. Huzzah!โ He tries clapping his bound hands. โI donโt give a piss.โ
โHow many did you kill?โ I ask.
โNot enough.โ He tilts his large head. His hair is greasy and dark with dirt, almost as though heโs tried to black out the gold. He seems to like the dirt. Itโs under his fingernails, coats his burnished skin. โI tried to bash their heads in. Kill them before the medBots came. But they were always so fast.โ
โWhy did you want to kill them? I donโt understand what the point is.
They are your own people.โ
He smirks at this. โYou could have changed things, you bastard.โ His large eyes are calmer, sadder than I remember. He does not like himself, I realize. Something about him is too mournful. The pride I thought he had is not pride; it is just scorn. โYou say Iโm cruel, but you had matches and iodine. Donโt think I didnโt know even before I smelled you. We starved, and you used what you found to become leader. So do not lecture me on morality, you backstabbing piss-sucker.โ
โThen why didnโt you do something about it?โ
โPollux and Vixus were frightened of you. So the rest were too. And they thought Goblin would kill them in their sleep. What could I do if I was the only one who wasnโt scared?โ
โWhy arenโt you?โ
He laughs hard. โYouโre just a boy with a slingBlade. First I thought you were hard. Thought we saw things similarly.โ He licks a bloody lip. โThought you were like me, only worse because of that coldness in your eyes. But youโre not cold. You care about these piss-pricks.โ
My eyebrows pinch together. โHowโs that?โ
โSimple. You made friends. Roque. Cassius. Lea. Quinn.โ โSo did you. Pollux, Cassandra, Vixus.โ
Titusโs face contorts horribly.ย โFriends?โย he spits. โFriends withย them? Those Goldbrows? They are monsters, soulless bastards. Nothing but a bunch of cannibals, all of them. They did the same as I did, but โฆย pfah.โ โI still donโt understand why you did what you did to the slaves,โ I
say. โRape, Titus. Rape.โ
His face is quiet and cruel. โThey did it first.โ โWho?โ
But heโs not listening. Suddenly heโs telling me about how they took โherโ and raped โherโ in front of him. Then the slaggers came back a week later to do it some more. So he killed them; bashed their heads in. โI killed the bloodydamn monsters. Now their daughters bloodywell get what she got.โ
Itโs like Iโve been punched in the face.
Oh hell.
A chill spreads through me.
Bloodydamn.
I stumble back.
โWhat the hell is the matter with you?โ Titus asks. If I were a Gold, I might have not noticed, mightโve just been befuddled by the odd word. Iโm no Gold. โDarrow?โ
I pull my way into the hall. I move in a haze. It all makes sense. The hate. The disgust. The vengeance. Cannibals eat their own. He called them cannibals. Pollux, Cassandra, Vixusโwho are their own?ย Theirย own. Golden.ย Bloodydamn. Notย gory. Titus saidย bloodydamn. No Gold says that. Ever. And he called it a slingBlade, not a reaperโs scythe.
Oh hell.
Titus is a Red.