Her breathing is melodic.
Hypnotizing in a way I hate admitting.
Sheโs pressed so close, so slumped against my chest that I can feel her rib cage expanding with each breath.
I doubt sheโs slept so soundly in days.
Another deep breath. Another jab of her ribs into my stomach.
โฆ or eaten much, for that matter.
By the look and feel of her, sheโs likely survived off stale bread the entirety of her stay in Dor, all while fighting daily in the ring.
I should really make her eat more.
I shake my head at the thought, at the reflex that is caring about her. Because she is not my responsibility. She is my prisoner. My mission. My fatherโs murderer.
A soft, sleepy noise slips past her lips, and I still at the sound. Sheโs held between my hands, solid against my chest, head on the pounding heart of her captor. Iโve never seen such peace held so gently in the arms of Death.
I glance up at the sky, a blanket of blackness covered in constellations. The men riding beside me are nothing more than shifting shadows, silently treading through the sand. Heads bob around me, fighting against the sleep weighing heavy on their eyelids.
โStop,โ I call hoarsely. โWeโll camp here for the rest of the night.โ
Iโm met with grunts of gratitude, followed by frantic fumbling and clumsy dismounts. I pull my horse to a halt, hesitating before resting heavy hands atop her thighs. I allow myself one moment. One selfish moment of my miserable existence committed to her. To a girl in the arms of a boy. To a facade.
And then the moment is over, shattering as I shake her awake.
Well, try to.
She grunts, unamused by my attempt to wake her. I try again, grabbing her waist this time to thoroughly jostle her. She protests, as per usual, throwing an elbow into my stomach with surprising strength for someone still half-asleep. I hiss between my teeth before pinning her arms to her sides. โEasy,โ I breathe. โWould you rather I have you spend the rest of the night on this horse?โ
She sighs, her voice softened with sleep. โIf it means I can ride it far away from you, then yes, I would love to.โ
โYou wound me,โ I say dryly, easily swinging from the horse. Sheโs eying me expectantly, looking down her nose to where I stand beneath. I smile pleasantly in return. โIs there something you need?โ
Her nose scrunches, visible representation of the frustration finding its way onto her face. โNo. Iโm perfectly fine.โ And with that, sheโs gripping the horn of the saddle and attempting to swing a leg over.
โIs that so?โ Iโm smiling now. โNothing you want to ask me?โ
โI amย notย asking for your help,โ she huffs, teetering in the saddle. โBetter yet, what is stopping me from turning this horse around and bolting?โ
โAbility. Knowledge. Fear,โ I state flatly. โWould you like me to keep going?โ
โIโd like to knock your teeth in.โ
โOh, but then I wouldnโt be able smile in that way I know you like.โ
Scowling, she states, โSmile all you want. I donโt like anything about you.โ
My rebuttal is quiet, ragged, as though itโs been ripped from the depths of my mind. โI recall you liking the one that was meant only for you.โ
She stiffens at my words but doesnโt deem them worth a response. Ignoring me, she instead turns her attention back to the task at hand. For someone so typically coordinated, watching her attempt to dismount a horse is comical. She all but throws herself from the animal, eager to finally be on solid ground.
โWhere am I sleeping?โ she asks, eying the many bedrolls now littering the sand.
โBeside me.โ
Her eyes fly to mine. โAbsolutely not.โ
โWhy?โ I ask innocently. โItโs not anything we havenโt done before.โ
โAnd itโs not anything I plan on ever doing again,โ she challenges.
โAnd why is that, Gray?โ I sigh. โWorried youโll like it too much?โ
The sound she makes is a cross between a scoff and disgust. โYouโre the one who should be worried. I just might strangle you in your sleep.โ With that, she plops down on the closest bedroll, watching an Imperial use his Blazer ability to light a fire.
I let my eyes wander over her, wander over the tan skin, the fingers fidgeting with the ring on her thumb, the silver hair mirroring the moon above. Everything about her is so very familiar, so very deceiving. No power runs through the veins beneath that tan skin.ย No abilities guided by those fidgeting fingers. No Elite likeness in the silver strands of her hair.
And yet, she feels anything but Ordinary. Iโve been taught my whole life that the likes of her would be the ruin of Elites, but Iโve never felt anything stronger.
I move to sit beside her, combing a hand through my sandy hair. โCareful,โ she mocks, โany closer and Iโll start weakening your powers.โ
I throw her a glance. โThatโs not how it works, and you know it.โ
She laughs, harsh and hateful. โPlease, enlighten me, then. I would love to hear how you think the Ordinaries will be the doom of all Elites.โ
โIf youโd continued to live in Ilya,โ I sigh, โyou would be. For more than one reason.โ I turn to take her in, eyes skimming over the obvious disbelief in the crease between her brows. โDo you not know our history? Where we came from and why it is so important we remain Elite?โ
I catch the quick roll of her eyes in the flickering firelight. โOf course I know Ilyaโs history. I may not have gone to school, but my father made sure I wasnโt completely incompetent.โ
โAll right, then,โ I say casually. โTell me.โ
She gives me a halfhearted scoff. โWhat, you want me to teachย youย of Ilyaโs history?โ
โI want to make sure you know what youโre talking about. SoโโI gesture for her to proceedโโgo on.โ
โThis is ridiculous,โ she huffs, fidgeting with the bedroll beneath her.
โItโs beginning to sound as though you donโt knowโโ
โIlya was a weak kingdom,โ she cuts in, annoyed to be entertaining me. โWe always have been, even before the Plague swept through.ย Being conquered was a constant fear for past kings, and when the Plague killed nearly half the population, the kingdom was quarantined, isolated, and more vulnerable than ever.โ She recites the information with her eyes trained on the sky above. โSo, when the Elites were born from the Plague, the kingdom rejoiced at the power they suddenly had over everyone else.โ She glances back at me. โSatisfied?โ
โHardly.โ I smile. โContinue.โ
A huff. Then a heavy sigh. โIlya has remained isolated ever since, in order to ensure we are the only kingdom with Elites. And then, after seventy years, your father decided to banish all the Ordinaries so he could have his Elite society.โ
โYou are missing some very key points, Gray,โ I interject.
โRight,โ she sighs. โTheย diseaseย that Healers discovered we Ordinaries possess. The one that will eventually weaken the Elitesโ powers.โ
โAnd?โ I prod.
โAndย the fact that Ordinaries and Elites procreating will eventually cause the Elite race to go extinct. That,โ she adds with a pointed look, โI do believe.โ With a sigh, she wistfully continues. โOnly Elites can make Elites. Though, oneโs abilities are not depicted by their parents. Some believe the level of power pertains to the very strength of the person.โ
โSo you do understand why Ilya must remain the way it is.โ
โYes,โ she says softly. โGreed.โ
I study her for a long moment, letting her words sink in. Hearing her perspective of Ilya is both jarring and intriguing. Having grown up as an Ordinary in the slums, she sees the kingdom vastly different than any upper-class Elite. And, unfortunately, Iโm intrigued.
โAre you done quizzing me, or can I go to sleep now?โ she asks, leaning back on her elbows.
I ignore her question to risk asking one of my own. โSo what do you suggest, then?โ
โSuggest for what?โ
โIlya,โ I say simply. โWhat other option is there but to carry on as we have for the past thirty years?โ
She sits up slightly, seemingly surprised by my question. โI suggest we carry on with what we were doing for seventy years prior to the Purging. Back when Ordinaries and Elites lived side by sideโโ
โAnd the weakening of our powers? The disease?โ
She sighs. โHas it ever occurred to you that maybe Elites werenโt meant to be? That what the Plagueย giftedย Ilya with is unnatural?โ I stiffen at her words, but she pushes on. โHumans arenโt meant to play God. And the Elites have played that part long enough. If their powers being weakened means no more isolation and killing of Ordinaries, then so be it.โ
I look away, shaking my head at the stars. โIlya will be weak without its Elites. We could be easily conquered andโโ
Her laugh cuts me off. โYou think we arenโt weak now? We are so isolated that there isnโt enough food to feed those of us in the slums, let alone hold everyone, when there is no more land to expand into.โ Her voice is stern, but her eyes are pleading. โWithout a single ally or kingdom that doesnโt hate us, are we not weaker than ever? And we will only continue to crumble unless something, or someone, changes.โ
Someone.
Sheโs thinking of Kitt. Sheโs probably always thought of Kitt as that someone who could change Ilya for her. Someone with potential to be persuaded into seeing things differently.
I almost laugh at the thought.
The Kitt I left is devoid of any potential that wasnโt a part of Fatherโs plan. Heโll do nothing but what the king wanted and wished for. Even dead heโs controlling Kitt, ruling Ilya from the grave.
โGood to finally hear how you really feel,โ I say with a scoff.
โWell, thereโs no point in hiding it now. Treason is the least of my worries at the moment.โ Stretching, she scans the stars before curling onto her side. โDo you believe Iโm diseased?โ
Iโm startled at how earnestly she asks the question. โI believe the Healers. And thirty years ago, they found something undetectable. Something that will deteriorate the Elitesโ powers over time.โ Sheโs quiet, so I take advantage of it. โDo you believe youโre diseased?โ
โIโm biased, but no, I donโt think so. My father was a Healer, and he didnโt think so either. Maybe there is no way to know for sure,โ she says softly. โBut I do know I deserve to live either way.โ
She quiets, favoring sleep over finishing this conversation. After a long moment, I feel her shiver before hearing the complaint slip past her lips. โPlease tell me I wasnโt kidnapped only to freeze in the desert?โ
โYou are a pain in the ass.โ I wave a hand at an Imperial as I lie down beside her. โGet me an extra blanket.โ
She doesnโt bother rolling over to mock me to my face. โAnd I thought chivalry was dead.โ
When the Imperial throws me a blanket, I donโt hesitate before tossing it over her head. โOh, it is, darling.โ
With a huff, her head peeks over the folds of fabric, sending silver hair sliding across her face. The look she gives me promises a death I know she can deliver. Then sheโs turning her back to me once again, content to ignore my existence until sleep claims her.
No, sheโs likely plotting something. I suspect she rarely isnโt. She makes for a difficult captive, needing to be watched even when there is nowhere to go. Because if anyone can find a way toโ
โShit, Gray!โ I jump away from her, cursing colorfully.
โWhat the hell is wrong with you?โ
โWrong withย me?โ Iโm exasperated. โYour feet areย freezing.โ
She glances over her shoulder, clearly failing to conceal her smirk. โWell, I canโt sleep with shoes on. Never been able to.โ
โSeems like you canโt sleep with socks on either,โ I grit out.
She shrugs. โItโs a curse, really.โ
โWell, keep the curse on your side.โ
Her face falls. โBut youโre warm.โ Before I can respond, sheโs nodding across the fire. โMe and my cold feet could always just sleep over there. Alone.โ
โLike hell Iโm letting you sleep alone,โ I mutter.
And then Iโm shaking my head, wrapping an arm around her legs, and pulling them against me.
She looks at me, shocked. And then she smiles, bright and big like the night sky hanging above us.
I fear she could rival the stars.
An arrow sinks into the sand beside my head.
I hear it land before Iโve even opened my eyes.
I roll, staying low to the ground as I scan the darkness for the source of this ambush. Arrows are pelting our camp, burying themselves into the flesh of my groggy men. Their screams fill my ears as I feel their powers flicker out from under my skin.
Blinking away sleep and the blackness blocking my view, I can just barely make out the figures stalking toward us in the sand. I shift onto my side, preparing to stand and use one of the few powers left at my disposal toโ
Something cool and sharp meets the skin of my neck.
The feeling is all too familiar.
And so is her voice.
โOne more move, and I wonโt hesitate again.โ