MY EYES WERE STRAINED ALL to hell when I made my bed on the couch again that night. The bare branches of the trees outside the window tapped and scraped at the glass, the snow coming down harder than ever. It seemed that it wanted to bury Cahlish under its mantle, entombing those of us inside within the walls of the house so that nothing could harm us. Unfortunately for us, we couldn’t stay in our warm, comfortable sanctuary, protected from the dread things that lurked in the dark much longer. Tomorrow night, we would venture out into the world and face them.
I was still preparing to try and sleep when Fisher came for me. He padded barefoot and shirtless into the living room, his ink swirling across his skin as he crossed the room. “You really think I’m going to let you sleep out here again?” he asked.
“I didn’t know if you’d want me in your bed,” I told him.
“If it were up to me, we wouldn’t spend another night without each other again.” Gently, he reached for the end of my braid and drew it over my shoulder toward him. He slowly unfastened it, working my hair loose with his fingers. His eyes were cautious when they sought out mine. “Does that scare you?” he murmured.
“No. I…” Gods. His hands felt amazing. It was so intimate to have him run his fingers through my hair like this. “It doesn’t scare me,” I whispered. “I want that, too.”
It would have been easy to let my thoughts run away with me. There were so many angry, hurt, frightened words I could hurl at him, but I’d done enough of that last night, and I really didn’t want to do it again.
As if he were thinking along similar lines, he cupped my face in his hands and said softly, “Let’s have tonight. You and me. Tomorrow night, we’ll bring Everlayne home. And once Iseabail and Te Léna have her fixed up and good as new, then we can worry about me. Okay?”
My relief hit hard. He was no longer talking about how futile it was to try and find a way through all of this. He was saying, let’s deal with what’s right in front of us and see what the lay of the land is like after that. It was a much more positive approach than the hard line he’d taken last night.
I looked up at him, my ribs cinching tight. “Yes. Let’s do that, please.”
He grinned, his expression turning wicked as a shadow gate opened up behind him. He picked me up, fast as hell, and stepped back into the twisting smoke before I could even think about calling him lazy for not walking back to his bedroom.
But when we emerged through the gate, we weren’t in his room. We were back at the apartment in Ballard, standing in the living room above the bakery, surrounded by candles. They rested on the mantlepiece and the bookshelves. They covered the little dining table where we’d eaten breakfast and filled the windowsills of the huge bay windows with flickering light. Everywhere I looked, there were candles. Fisher smiled, his mouth pulled to one side, a dimple marking his cheek as he watched me taking it all in.
I spun around, holding my hands over my mouth. “It’s beautiful,” I breathed.
He came and stood close behind me, folding me into his arms. “It’s not finished yet.” His breath stirred my hair and something else, too, deep inside of me. I felt his power rush across my stomach as black smoke plumed from his hands, filling the room. Soon it was everywhere, cloaking everything from sight. Everything except the flickering flames of the candles. They lit up the darkness, a thousand burning points of light as brilliant as the stars. It felt as though we were up there with them, suspended in the void, where nothing could touch us, and no one could hurt us, and we had all the time we could possibly need.
“You did this for me?” It felt wrong to speak out loud. I didn’t want my voice to ruin the illusion he’d created for us, so I asked him in my mind.
“Yes,” he answered simply. “And for me, too. I am selfish, Saeris. I wanted something quiet and small and special for the both of us. Something we could keep.” He buried his face into the crook of my neck and kissed me there, where my shoulder became my neck. The heat of his mouth seared
my skin, and I couldn’t help but tremble. Closing my eyes, I leaned back into him, letting my weight rest against his solid mass, feeling safe and so desperately, heartbreakingly sad. My heartbreak couldn’t have me tonight, though. Fisher was right. It was stupid to spend the night before we all stepped into our worst nightmares arguing or in tears. I bit back the burn in my throat and spun around, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Make me forget that I’ve ever suffered,” I commanded. “Make me forget that I will again.”
He fell upon me like a tidal wave. His mouth found mine in the dark, and the kiss blotted out the world. Hot and demanding, his lips slid over mine, urging them to open, and then he was tasting me, exploring my mouth, his tongue claiming me. I moaned when the tips of his canines pierced my bottom lip. The copper bright tang of blood flooded my mouth, and Fisher huffed out a hard breath, letting out a moan of his own. It coated both our tongues as he kissed me deeper, his hands working their way into my hair, his breath quickening. I felt him, hard against my hip bone, his cock already rock-solid. My stomach bottomed out.
Gods, I wanted him. I wanted all of him.
My soul was on fire, and I didn’t care if I burned for all eternity. So long as I was burning with him, then so be it.
His teeth caught on my lip again. On the tip of my tongue. The taste of my blood intensified, but I didn’t pull away. Fisher’s hands slid down my body, cupping my backside, his fingers digging into my ass cheeks. His breath came even faster, each exhale punctuated with a ragged groan. Pulling me closer, he kissed me even harder, grinding his cock against my stomach so that I could feel his desperate need.
“When I get you out of these clothes, you’re in trouble,” he snarled in my head. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t be able sit down for a week.”
“Fisher!” I clung to him, panting, already anticipating the surge of heat I would feel the moment he thrust himself inside of me. Wanting it. Craving it so badly that I could have screamed.
God-bound.
We were God-bound.
Mates.
I could feel it now—a bright thread of energy drawing us together as he wrapped himself around me. If I wanted it, all I needed to do was reach out and claim it.
Fisher growled as another fresh wave of blood flooded our mouths, and he lost all patience. With a rough jerk of his hands, he tore my pants open and thrust his hand down the front of them, his fingers deftly working their way between my folds.
“Holy hell. So. Fucking. Wet.” His satisfied, hungry snarl sent a shiver racing through me; it turned into a body-wide shudder as he wasted no time, driving his fingers up inside me. I stiffened in his arms, letting go of a strangled cry that caused the candle flames to gutter and flare in response.
“Oh, gods. Oh…my gods.”
The air quaked with energy. Fisher’s shadows rippled over my skin like water. I breathed it in, welcomed it inside me, feeling it become a part of me. He was a part of me. I sensed that in my bones. If I wanted him to be, he would be the axis around which I revolved. I would be his. Two counterparts, independent of one another. Already whole, but together stronger than we could ever be apart. It was my choice. The backs of my hands tingled as I ran my palms over the smooth, strong plains of his chest, and I knew that the ink was back. Each finger prickled with the power of the runes that emerged upon them. The back of my left hand buzzed with warmth, but the right throbbed with energy as I felt rune after rune stacking on top of my skin there. The God Bindings were last to arrive. Fine strands of fire lashed around my wrist, trailing up my arms. More ink followed. It skated over my stomach and caressed my thighs. Columns of it rose up my back, wrapping around my spine. I felt it everywhere.
Was this why he’d thrown us into darkness? Was he hiding the evidence of our connection, so I wouldn’t be intimidated by the strength of it made manifest on my body? The answer to that question was probably yes. He didn’t want to deal with this until Everlayne was safe and well, back at Cahlish, and I understood that. I let the Marks move over me, focusing on the heat of Fisher’s hands and mouth for now. We still had time.
Your scent drives me crazy, Fisher rumbled. You’re like a fucking drug.
You light me up.
I knew exactly what he meant. It had been there, even back at the Winter Palace. Whenever I caught the smell of him in the air, it made my heart race. Empty rooms were dangerous places. At Cahlish, I’d enter the
living room, or the forge, find myself walking down a hallway, and it was as though the ghost of him was there, too, walking alongside me. The smell of winter pine and cold mountain air set my heart pounding.
His fingers worked inside me, the pressure of his hand cupping my sex kindling the beginnings of madness in me. He would be my end, this male. He would claim my better days and carry me during my worst. He would show me the meaning of ecstasy and drown me in it until I fucking died.
Please, Fisher. Gods, I want you.
His low, rumbling chuckle skimming over the surface of my mind was pure sin.
You’ve got me, Little Osha. And I’ve got you.
His fingers withdrew from inside me and moved back to find my clit. Dedicating his full attention to the swollen bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs, he rubbed his fingertips over me in tight, small circles designed to push me toward orgasm and fast.
I sighed as his mouth traveled from mine, along my jaw, hovering over the shell of my ear. Goosebumps exploded down the backs of my arms and legs, the hair at the back of my neck standing to attention as his hot breath bloomed over my skin.
“Nobody will ever fuck you the way I’m about to fuck you, Saeris Fane. I’m about to introduce you to all seven gods. When you meet them, don’t forget to tell them I’m the one you worship on your knees.”
Out.
Fucking.
Loud.
It was hot as hell when he told me what he was going to do to me in my head. But hearing his voice, full of gravel and raw desire? There was nothing else I could do. I lost my mind. My shirt came off first. I didn’t even give Fisher the opportunity to magic it away. The cloth binding my breasts went next. Boots. Pants. Fisher helped tear them down my legs, making an impatient sound as he ripped them from each leg. I was frantic as I grabbed the waistband of his pants, quickly unfastening them, but he took over, speeding up the process by kicking out of them himself.
You want me to worship you? I’ll worship you, I thought. Fisher might have big plans for me, but I had some of my own. Dropping to my knees, I took hold of him, wrapping my hand around his solid, hard shaft. He hadn’t given me the chance to do this the last couple of times we’d had sex. It had
all been about me. Fisher had spent an ungodly amount of time between my thighs, bringing me to screaming climax with his mouth, but now it was my turn.
Nerves chased adrenalin as I extended my tongue and slowly, teasingly licked the swollen head of Fisher’s cock. Oh, holy shit. He was beaded with precum; the slightly salty taste of him coated my tongue, as I swirled it around his rigid flesh.
Energy rushed over me, and Fisher’s shadows withdrew. The darkness peeled back. The room still only dimly lit, but I could see him now: his powerful thigh muscles; that glorious vee that cut over the line of his groin; his impressive, defined abs, and the solid wall of his chest, covered in shifting ink. And his face. His breathtaking face. His lips were parted, his eyes wide and alive with hunger. My pulse kicked up, working double-time, when I saw the thin trickle of blood trailing down his chin.
My blood.
Now that I could see him, I could also see my hands. It was as I’d suspected—the marks were back, bolder and brighter than before, filling my fingers, the backs of my hands, and my forearms. I arched an eyebrow up at Fisher, trailing the tip of my tongue ever so slowly around the straining head of his erection. “I thought you were hiding these from me,” I said.
“Maybe I was. But I’ll be damned all the way to hell and back if you use that sweet mouth on me and I don’t get to watch.” He gazed at the ink staining my skin, taking it all in. When his eyes met mine again, they were full of fire. “And, anyway. I’m not afraid of them, Little Osha. Are you?”
And there it was. A question I’d been asking myself over and over again. I still didn’t understand the implications of these marks. I was very worried about what they meant for any future Fisher and I had if we chose this. But they were beautiful. A representation of what he was beginning to mean to me. I sucked the head of his cock into my mouth, deeply pleased when Fisher trembled in response. My mouth made a wet popping sound when I let him spring free of my lips again.
“I haven’t made up my mind,” I said carefully. “I’m not afraid of them tonight. And that’s all that matters right now.” I sank back down onto him, done with the teasing, closing my mouth around him, and Fisher’s eyes rolled straight back into his skull.
“Holy…fucking...shit...” he groaned. When he’d recovered himself enough to look at me again, a small wave of panic notched at the back of my throat. He was going to eat me alive. I was going to let him. But that didn’t stop the thrill of nerves from shooting up my spine as I considered all that would entail. I bobbed up and down on his cock, working my tongue around him, relishing the velvet-smooth texture of his skin as my lips moved over it. His twitched, straining, and I took him deeper.
“Gods alive, you’re so pretty with your mouth wrapped around me like that.” Fisher traced the line of my cheek, my jawbone, then rubbed the pad of his thumb over my lips, stretched around him. He sucked his own bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it as he growled possessively. “My lips to kiss. My mouth to fuck.” His canines pierced his lip, twin, glossy beads of his own blood staining his mouth, and as if throwing caution to the wind, he rocked himself forward, pushing himself deeper into my mouth.
I whimpered, the tip of his cock butting against the back of my throat, and Fisher immediately jerked back, pulling himself out of my mouth with a feral hiss. “Fuck!”
He fell on me in a wave of black shadows and smoke. No time to make it to bed. The couch was so close, but he took me where I was, right there on the floor. I cried out when he sank himself into me. It was all I could do to stop myself from coming on the spot. He filled me so deliciously, the weight of him on top of me so perfectly satisfying.
He went still. We both panted, staring at each other. “Tell me to fuck you, Saeris,” he ground out. “Tell me that you want this.”
I clawed at his back, desperate for him to move, to fill me again and again and again. “I—Please! Gods, please fuck me. I want you. I want—”
“That’s all I needed to hear.”
Fisher drove himself into me hard, his jaw clenched tight. Energy flickered between us like tiny filaments of lightning, dancing all over our skin, connecting us as he drove himself home.
I took panting, gasping breaths, fighting to stay calm as a storm began to build in my chest. It would wreck me when it broke, and I wasn’t ready. It was sweeping Fisher away, too. He held onto me so damn tight as he rocked into me, as if he was afraid that I’d disappear if he loosened his grip.
I came first, my orgasm obliterating my ability to think. Like one of the avalanches that I’d seen racing down the face of Omnamerrin, it slammed
into me and swept me away. My back arched up from the rug, my body contorting as pure, unadulterated pleasure rocked me to my core.
Fisher followed after me. When he came, the sound of his breathless, furious cry made the panes of glass in the window frames shake. I watched, unable to tear my gaze from him, and an array of new tattoos bloomed like black flowers across his skin. They climbed up the side of his throat. Fresh runes chained his collarbone, interlocking and bold. The design on his neck looked like feathers at first, and—yes, they were feathers. The outstretched wings of a majestic bird, flashing metallic blue and green, fanned around either side of his neck, unique and stunning.
He roared, burying himself deep one last time, and sank down on top of me, covering me with his body.
For a time, it was all we could do to exist in the aftermath.
“Gods. That…” I swallowed thickly, trying to catch my breath. “That was…”
Fisher propped himself up on his elbow, and my heart backflipped at the sight of him. His hair was messy, his waves on the brink of actually curling for once. His cheeks were flushed, the shadows beneath his eyes nowhere to be seen. For once, he looked at ease. Content. And…wicked? A slow smile spread across his face.
“That was just the beginning, Saeris.” He bumped my nose with the end of his. “Didn’t think I’d be done with you that easily, did you?”
Over the next three hours, Fisher proceeded to fuck me in every room of the apartment. Just when he seemed to finally reach his limit, he was hard again and growling into my neck, ready for round three. And then four. And then five. He made me food when we were both eventually spent, and we sat on the floor in the middle of the living room, wrapped in dust sheets while we ate.
Fisher rubbed his fingers over the column of his throat, frowning playfully at me once we were done with our meal. “Did I imagine it, or did I feel something new slipping into place here earlier?” he asked.
I popped a grape into my mouth, bouncing my brows at him. “You sure did.”
His smile turned a little sad. He dropped his hand from his throat, and asked, “What is it?”
“Wings. Really beautiful wings. They have the same metallic sheen as this,” I said, holding up the layered, complicated rune on my right hand.
Fisher nodded slowly, angling his head down so that the line of the tendons in his neck beneath his new tattoo stood proud. He was as mesmerizing as a painting like this, with his hair obscuring his face, his strong, dexterous hands resting in his lap. I wished I could sketch him, so I could save the sight of him like this forever. Unlike his mother, I was no artist, though. And sometimes, that’s just how things were supposed to be. There were moments that were gifts, meant to be cherished only for as long as you could remember them.
Luckily for me, I had an excellent memory.
“What does it mean?” I asked quietly, gesturing to his neck. “Why did you get new tattoos this time?” We had spent a long time between rounds three and four, thoroughly investigating my body, and had confirmed that I hadn’t developed any new artwork.
Fisher shrugged noncommittally, lying down on the rug. He reached out a hand for me, gesturing for me to come to him. I set aside our plates and did as he’d requested, snuggling into his side and resting my head against his chest. But I didn’t let him off the hook that easily. “You can’t just shrug off a question when you don’t want to answer,” I said, poking him lightly in the ribs. “Tell me why they showed up tonight and not the other nights.”
I turned my head and closed one eye, squinting at him. His throat filled my field of vision, half of his new wing tattoo all I could see. “When we Fae are little,” he said softly, “our parents teach us the art of distraction so we can protect the things we don’t want to confess. Will you forget you asked that question if I find the energy to make you scream my name again?”
“Absolutely not!” I pinched his nipple between my teeth in rebuke, and Fisher yelped, cursing in Old Fae.
“Careful, Osha,” he chided. “My teeth are much sharper than yours.”
He hadn’t bitten me at all tonight. Aside from the little nicks to my lips and the tip of my tongue when we’d kissed so roughly, it hadn’t escaped me that his canines had stayed well away from me during sex. It hadn’t mattered. The night had been incredible. More than incredible. I wouldn’t have changed any of it.
“I already know how sharp your teeth are. What I don’t know is why you have a new tattoo,” I pressed.
Drawing me closer, he rested his chin on top of my head and sighed heavily. “All right, fine. I’ll tell you. In the past, one party always got the
mating marks first. When the other party accepted the bond, sometimes Marks showed up on their bodies, too. It didn’t happen all of the time. But sometimes…” he trailed off in a hushed voice.
I pushed away from him, sitting up too quickly. My head spun like a top, but I ignored the dizziness and fixed my eyes on him. “You did… what?”
“I accepted the bond. Earlier. When I was inside you. When my soul was wrapped around yours.” He was so calm, not a trace of doubt or hesitation.
Meanwhile, I felt like I was about to pass out. “You accepted it?” I asked, my voice shaking.
“I did.”
“How?”
“It’s simple. You make the choice. You claim the bond. The bond claims you.”
“No! How could you accept it? I’m—” I shook my head, trying to gather my thoughts. “I’m human. And aside from everything we still need to sort out once Everlayne is safe, you’re nearly immortal, and my lifespan is—is—”
“Inconvenient,” Fisher finished for me. “You’re right. That part sucks. But…” He frowned, wrapped his arm around my waist, and gently pulled me back down to rest on his chest. As I settled, he slowly ran his fingers through my hair and continued speaking. “I’ll be grateful for every moment I get to say that I belong to you, Saeris Fane. Whether it’s eighty years or eighteen hours, it doesn’t matter to me. It’ll still be the greatest honor of my life. But wait—are you about to have a heart attack? Your pulse is racing.” The bastard laughed, and I nearly burst into tears. “Don’t freak out. Here. Look.”
He took my hand and lifted it, showing me. I watched as the inked runes on my skin gradually faded until my hands and forearms were unmarked again. “Just because I’ve accepted it doesn’t mean you have to. You still have weeks to decide. And if you reject the bond, then it won’t matter. My new wings will disappear, and that’ll be that.”
He had accepted me as his mate.
Despite all the obstacles in our path and all the very good reasons we shouldn’t be bonded… he had done it.
“I’m in love with you, Saeris Fane,” he whispered into my hair. “And I’m already half-mad anyway. What’s a little more complication thrown into the mix?”
“I—”
“Please, for the love of the gods, don’t say anything. Just let me have my fantasy. Just for tonight.”
I was going to have a heart attack. Or my heart was going to break in two. Either way, my heart was in trouble, and there was no protecting it now. Fisher’s hand swept up and down my side, and slowly, the room grew dark until, once again, it felt as though we were floating in a sea of stars.
He didn’t want me to respond to his declaration. I understood that, and I could give him his peace for tonight. The sun would rise again soon, though, and we wouldn’t be able to avoid the conversation. In the meantime, sleep made my bones heavy, weighing down my eyelids. Tomorrow, we were going to save Everlayne.
As my exhaustion promised to sweep my consciousness away, something occurred to me out of the blue. “When we were here last time, you said that the people of Ballard had something you needed. But you never got it,” I whispered.
Fisher gently kissed my forehead, and all around us, the flickering candle flames started to blink out. “Yes, I did,” he said. I barely heard his next words as I drifted away. “I came for a little hope.”
