it ends.
By a measly dagger. I can’t tell if I want to laugh or cry.
Sadie holds the knife above her head, ready to plunge it into my rapidly beating heart as she whispers, “I told you I didn’t want to do this. But I have to.”
Kai will be furious that he saved my life for nothing.
“I’m sorry,” Sadie chokes out as the tip of the blade comes racing towards my heart. And impossibly, unbelievably, I’m suddenly ready for it.
I’ll see you soon, Father.
Nothing.
The blade stops mere inches away from my heart.
I’m shaking, my eyes trailing from the halted knife to my almost-killer. Blood pours out of Sadie’s mouth, followed by a gurgled gasp slipping between her lips. She looks down, wide-eyed, and I follow her gaze to the sword now protruding from her chest.
The dagger slips from her fingers as tears slip down her cheeks. She stumbles back, gasping, into a broad chest. Kai wraps his arms around her and gently guides her to the ground, a sickening gargling sound slipping past her lips.
And then she’s suddenly silent, her hazel eyes staring up at the black sky—wide, unseeing, and glossy.
The Sadies around us flicker out of existence, leaving my hands free to cover my mouth as I choke on a gasp. I’m trying to take in what just happened, trying to take in air as I wheeze weakly.
Kai drops to his knees beside me, worry crinkling his brow. “Are you hurt?” His eyes roam over me like the fingers now lightly roaming up my body, checking for injuries just as they had a few nights before. “Paedyn, look at me.” Rough hands are cupping my face now, guiding my gaze towards him. “Tell me, did she hurt you?”
“I-I’m fine.” I’m not fine.
I hate these Trials because they kill people, and now I’ve just witnessed it firsthand. I’ve been a part of it. I didn’t ask for any of this, didn’t want anyone to die. And now, another victim of the Trials lays motionless mere feet away.
“I told you I don’t want to do this. But I have to.”
Sadie didn’t want to kill me, and yet, I almost wish she had. Almost wish I had a reason to hate her, a reason to wish this fate upon her. But it’s these twisted Trials that forced her shaking hand to raise that dagger above her head, forced her into nearly taking a life.
I glance at her bloody body lying limp and so close. An image of my father flashes before my eyes, replacing the girl who tried to kill me with the father who would have killed for me. I witnessed him die similarly, and I try to blink the image away. But his bloody body doesn’t budge—
“Hey, look at me, alright? Don’t look at her, look right at me.” Kai’s hands are still gently holding my face when I slide my gaze back to his, trying to focus on something other than the death in front of me. Except, the prince himself seems to be death incarnate, a wielded weapon.
“Focus on my eyes. I know how much you like to stare into them.” His gray gaze sparkles with amusement, and the corner of his lips kick up while my own mouth falls open. He knows me well enough to know that I’m
about to start telling him off in response to that little comment, so he presses a finger to my lips before I get the chance.
“Focus on the dimples you try to convince yourself you hate, even though I know you look for them every time I smile.” Sure enough, his grin spreads, and my traitorous eyes flick to the dimples framing it.
The thumb he runs over my bottom lip has my eyes dragging from his dimples to meet his gaze. “Focus on my lips.” His voice is a murmur, a caress like the fingers brushing my face and mouth. “Don’t be shy, I know this wouldn’t be the first time.”
My eyes drift to his lips, trailing over the sensuous curve of them. He’s so very easy to look at, to admire. Everything about him is annoyingly alluring, distracting so easily—
Distracting.
When my eyes light up with the realization of what he is doing, his slight smirk tells me I’m correct. This calculating boy just distracted me from a dead body using nothing but himself to do so.
“Are you sure that was to distract me and not to boost your ego?” I ask, my voice deceptively calm.
“Why can’t it be both? “Ass,” I mumble.
He hasn’t stopped smiling at me. “I may be an ass, but I just saved yours.” And then, without warning, his smile vanishes and is replaced by serious scrutiny as he looks me over. “How are you? Have you calmed down?”
I breathe and shut my eyes for a moment. An image of Sadie’s bloody body flashes in my mind before shifting into my father’s.
“I’m fine now,” I lie, hating how strained my voice sounds.
He shakes his head at me, muttering, “I told you. You’re a horrible liar, Gray.”
A shaky laugh escapes me. The sound is so wrong with a lifeless body so close, but I can’t seem to control myself. At this point, my only options are laughing or crying, and I refuse to do the latter.
Kai studies my face, seeming to see the battle raging within me. Without a word, he wraps an arm around my middle and helps me to my feet. I know I should push him away, should tell him I don’t need his help. But I’m weak in far more ways than one, and his closeness is my only comfort right now.
He guides me to a stump and sits me down, crouching to look up into my face. “Pae,” he speaks the syllable so softly, “stay here and calm down. Just breathe, all right? You’re still in shock.”
I nod numbly as he assesses me again. His gaze never strays from my own as he slowly raises a hand to slide his fingers over mine, seeming to search for something. They halt on the cold steel around my finger before spinning the ring idly, mirroring a movement I’m all too familiar with. “Distract yourself. Spin this like you always do to keep busy, to keep your mind off things.”
I blink at him, shocked that he knows my habits, knows how to help me. I’m stunned at how calm and collected he is after killing someone, though I shouldn’t be. He was raised for this, molded into a murderer who’s numb to the death he doles out. I suppress a shudder at the thought of the horrors this haunted boy has committed. The horrors he’s endured.
Kai stands to leave. “I’m going to go…clean this up. I’ll be back soon.
And for once,” he sighs, “listen to me and stay put.”
And then he’s gone, leaving me to spin my ring restlessly.
