THE DAY I turn down a man’s offer to take me on a shopping trip is the day I marry a billionaire.
Well, maybe not even then.
Things don’t always make me happy, but they sure as hell don’t depress me, either.
“What about this one?” Nico holds up another micro-bikini. The fluorescent-yellow fabric is bright enough to sting my eyes. In the middle of each bikini triangle is an embroidered image of a smiling sunshine.
“Really?” I shake my head in disbelief. “Do you think I want the Baby Sun from Teletubbyland on my nipples?”
I know this buying spree is another of Nico’s attempts to apologize and get me to spend the rest of the summer with him. And because the shopping spree is coupled with a spa day, a restocking of all my skincare products, a new phone, and a guarantee that if he fucks up again, he’ll buy me my flight home—even if it’s $5,702—my stern front is starting to crack.
We haven’t hooked up since his mess up, and a part of me doesn’t want to admit just how much I miss the benefits we added to our friendship. Maybe I’m letting him off the hook too easily, but Nico’s some of the best foreplay I’ve ever had.
Is it so wrong to indulge in being wanted? Especially when I have to return to the horror that is dating in New York City soon enough.
Ugh.
“You’re right.” He hangs the smiling bikini back on the rack. “I should be looking for introspective, cloudy-day bikinis.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”
Nico digs some more, and I anxiously anticipate what ridiculous option he’ll present next. I’ve never had a man be so involved in my outfit choices. Earlier this morning, I got out of the shower to find my new favorite pair of denim shorts and a black tank top on my bed next to a tray with a cup of tea on it.
“Okay, you need these.” He holds up a bright-red pair of bikini bottoms tie-dyed with hues of orange and yellow. The entire ensemble looks like a heavy-flow day gone wrong.
“Someone’s going to look at me and think, I bet her pussy is made of molten lava.”
“I’d argue it’s the hottest place in the world.”
The chuckle escaping from my lips is involuntary, but Nico catches it, winking in return.
I hate being mad at him. “If you like the print so much, maybe you should wear it.”
“Great idea.” He holds the bottoms to his hips. “I think it’ll be perfect for surfing.”
The bikini returns to the rack, and the three overstuffed bags hooked around his forearm jostle to reveal red indents on his corded skin.
Have we really been shopping for this long? We take another loop around the store.
“Speaking of class, I don’t know if I’ll be able to pass,” Nico says.
My stomach growls so loudly, I’m certain it could’ve been confused for an earthquake. I catch the woman beside me gaping at me.
“How does someone fail surf school?” I turn back to Nico, who seems oblivious to the orchestra of frogs that have made a home in my belly.
“It’s a crappy situation, really.” He shrugs. “To graduate, I need to take someone who’s not attending class on a tandem surf.”
“That’s when two people are on a board, right?”
He nods. “Yeah, and since I don’t know anyone who can’t surf, well, besides you…” His glimmering eyes shift their focus from our feet to my face.
There it is.
The roulette of Nico’s facial expressions has landed on the in-case-of- emergency puppy-dog look. It’s not nearly as heart-stopping as his signature grin or his perfectly-calculated winks.
But it serves its purpose. It’s impossible to deny.
“Is this your not-so-subtle attempt to ask me to get me to stay and be your tandem surfing partner?”
“I’ve seen you swim. I think you’d be the perfect person for the job.”
He’s lucky he’s cute; otherwise, I’d sucker punch the pout right off his lips. “Maybe, if you ask me really nicely.”
Nico drops to his knees, and one of the bags breaks open. A jumble of colorful fabrics jumps around us.
“You enjoy being on your knees for me, don’t you?” I bend down to help him.
“It’s the most natural place for worship.”
We gather up the spilled merchandise, and I rise, leaving Nico crouched down beside me. Blood drains from my head, and a plethora of white spots cloud my vision.
Okay, I need some fresh air.
Nico’s eyes remain focused on me, and he takes one of my hands between his palms. “Lily, will you please do me the honor—”
Something hard collides with my lower back, sending my hips straight into Nico’s face. The stranger next to me yanks an item off the rack.
“Uh, excuse me.” I glare at the woman, who shoots me a dirty look.
The fucking nerve.
“Now, I wasn’t going to ask for this right here in front of everyone, but if you’re just going to throw yourself at me.” Nico’s hands wrap protectively around my hips, and he buries his face deeper into the crotch of my shorts.
Both of his cheeks dimple as I pull out of his grip.
The teasing comment does little to avail the creeping ache settling in my temple. “I need to go outside.”
I bolt out of the store. I’m instantly met with suffocatingly hot air, a blaring siren, and car horns.
August in New York is less humid than this.
I rub my fingertips over my clammy palms and look up the street.
Where is that restaurant we passed earlier?
Water. Food. I’ll be fine.
“Hey, Lily.” Nico’s familiar touch clamps around my arm, and I almost collapse into his body. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
“I think I need to eat something.” My stomach growls as if agreeing with me. “Uh, I only had a smoothie this morning.”
“That was six hours ago.” He hoists the shopping bags up and scans the surrounding buildings. “Okay, let’s not panic.”
The words open the latch on a music box of anxiety in my chest. “I’m not panicking.”
“What’s your hunger level?” “Huh?” My voice trembles.
Nico drags my body in front of him so his nose is a foot away from mine. “On a scale of one to ten, how hungry are you?”
“I don’t know.” I lean my head on his chest and inhale the scent of his cologne. “Probably an eight.”
“An eight!” Nico’s warm palms connect with my cheeks, pulling my face up to his. “We’re in there looking at skimpy bikinis during a full-blown Mayday situation?”
An ambulance rockets down the road a few feet away from us. “What?”
He unclasps my face, wraps his fingers around my wrist, and uses his other hand to pull out his phone.
“Next time, I need you to tell me when you’re at a four out of ten so I can think ahead.” Nico gently tugs me down the street, clearing a path on the crowded sidewalk.
Think ahead? “I was at a four about two stores ago.”
He stops, his face painted with a mixture of seriousness and concern. “It’s more dire than I thought.”
“Nico, you’re making it worse. Let’s just go back to the hotel.” He ignores me and glances at his phone. “This way.”
“Where are we going?” I whine.
My flip-flops drum against the stone walkways. We beeline deeper into town as if we’re in a high-speed chase. He guides us down the block and around a corner to a quiet street. An ocean view greets us in the vicinity.
“Come on, princesa, I got you.” He nods toward a quaint bar.
We slip onto the barstools and set down our bags. Then Nico rattles off an order to a server.
When the server sets down a pitcher of ice water, Nico shuffles around in his seat and hands me a glass.
“We could’ve gone back to the hotel. You didn’t have to go all doomsday is upon us.” I take large gulps until the cool liquid is drained from my cup. The burgeoning wail of nerves melts beneath my skin.
“This is faster and more efficient.” He runs his thumb over the back of my hand. “Don’t worry, detective, backup is coming soon.”
I hike up my brow. “Did you order the entire menu for evidence?” “Honestly, I panicked and asked for everything, hoping something
would come out fast.”
“Well”—my mouth crooks to one side—“thanks for the rescue mission.”
“I’m trying, Lily.”
My eyes remain on the condensation rolling off our pitcher of water.
I’m trying. The words drop through me one by one before collecting in the pit of my stomach.
“Thank you, but so you know, I can take care of myself.”
“I know.” Nico brings his glass to his lips, and our stares remain locked as he finishes drinking. “It’s why learning to take care of you is much sweeter.”
 |
“THAT HIT THE SPOT.” I drop back into my stool.
The tension in my body has been blissfully subdued. Over the past hour, we worked through a feast for six people.
Nico winks. “When we get back to the hotel, I can find the other spot you like just as much. If you’re ready to return to our little arrangement.”
“A man who buys me food and gives me orgasms? I’ll have to think about it.”
Two days ago, I was ready to throw in the towel and head back to New York, but now, I kinda like this version of Nico.
Assertive.
The way he took charge today was hot. It’s a side I haven’t seen outside of the bedroom, and I like it.
“Whatever it takes to see you smile. Your hangry face could scare a child.”
It’s not so bad.
“Shut up.” I sip on my glass of water. “How’d you know exactly what I needed?”
Sure, Nico ordered half the menu, but it’s still nice.
“Easy. You alternate between sweet and savory: food, clothes, mood, everything.” Nico slurps the remainder of his mango smoothie through a straw.
Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting him to say that.
It’s strange having someone notice my habits. My best friend and I lived together for years, but I don’t think we’ve ever spent this much time together daily.
I suppose it’s charming.
At least in such a temporary situation.
There are a few bites of food left on the table. “Do you want the last pão de queijo?”
Without hesitation, Nico grabs the remaining one and hovers it near his mouth. “Actually, you take it.” He extends his hand to me.
My brow quirks up. “Really?” “Yeah.”
“Thanks.” I take a bite of the savory bread. “I guess someone’s learning to share.”
“Making you happy makes me very happy.” “Adorable.”
“You’ve made me happier by not buying your ticket home.” Nico eyes me and straightens himself, a serious expression coating his face. “Look, I realize you’d feel more comfortable staying if we had a game plan for the summer.”
Surprise prickles me like the sharp spines of a cactus.
“What did you say? I—I don’t think I heard you.” I use his own teasing against him.
“That’s right, a plan for the entire summer.” “But you don’t—”
He taps his fingers on the table between us. “Tell me where you want to go, and I’ll make it happen, beautiful.”
I sigh, averting my gaze from his sincere one.
Am I actually considering staying with Nico for the rest of the summer? I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I lay awake last night thinking about it.
I can write a few novellas over the next couple months, so I wouldn’t be totally wasting my time. And that means when I’m back in New York, I can focus on my degree and my new job. Another successful book could help
me pay for the rest of my tuition. Coastal Fling has already brought in enough royalty money to at least float me for a month or two.
After today, Nico’s sort of proven he can try to put me first. The effort means a lot.
But he could also quickly grow tired of me holding him back.
Or he could disappoint me again and ruin our friendship for good.
I look up at him. “What about where you want to go? This is your trip.”
Nico tips his head forward, and a couple of loose brown waves spiral over his brows. “Lily, I’ve been on a hundred adventures, but if I only get this one with you, I want to make it special. See the world through your eyes.”
Definitely not something a friend says to a friend. Especially not when that something has sent my heart into a chaotic rhythm.
Ah, fuck it.
How bad can things get? I never take real risks for myself anymore, and maybe it’s time to start.
“London.” The location bursts out of me before I have a chance to stop
it.
Nico gives me a soft smirk. “London?”
“Van Gogh’s sunflower painting is at the National Gallery, and I want to
see it in person.”
Truth is, I hadn’t thought much about where I’d want to spend the rest of this summer, but that was the best I could come up with.
“London’s similar to New York. You may enjoy the familiarity.” He nods. “I guess I didn’t realize you were such a purveyor of the arts.”
I dig my new phone out of my bag, click it on, and point it at his face. “The painting has always been my wallpaper.” It brought me a lot of happiness through some dark years. “I figure if I’ve looked at it every day for the past decade, then I want to see the real thing.”
He pulls the screen close, lighting up with amusement. “Got it.
Anything else you’d like to do there?” “Not sure. Have you been?”
“Yeah, my old cofounder lives there.” Meeting Nico’s old partner would be cool. I bet he’ll have all sorts of embarrassing dirt from their younger years. “I haven’t seen him in a few months. It’ll be great to catch up.”
This feels too simple. “You don’t mind going somewhere you’ve already traveled to?”
Nico uncrosses his legs and leans toward me. His biceps flex when his arms meet the table. I swallow away the dryness in my throat.
“On the contrary, I’d love to show you around a place I’ve been. We can stay for a few weeks, maybe travel around Europe a bit? Aren’t Avery and Luca going to the Azores for their honeymoon in July?”
My head nods, bobbing like a buoy on the bay from the rush of excitement.
Wow.
Maybe I’m really doing this. Nico and I are really doing this.
Worry blooms in my chest that this will all fall apart but it’s Nico. He wouldn’t hurt me on purpose again. At least, I hope not.
“So, it’s settled. London’s next.” Nico winks his agonizingly delicious wink, and I have the sudden urge to connect my lips to his.
“Just like that?” I don’t quite believe he’s committing to a plan.
“Just like that. What about the end of summer? Where would you like to spend August, Lily Rodin?”
I rotate through the different destinations we could hit. The overwhelming possibilities make me more indecisive than usual.
Maybe we can go somewhere from the backpacking trip I planned back in the day. No, that would bring a whole flood of memories I don’t want to think about.
My mind lands on something from my Ancient Greek literature lecture a few semesters ago. “Cyprus. I think Aphrodite was born there. It would be cool to go somewhere a goddess lived.”
“Well, if you want to see a goddess, we can stay right here,” he teases, and I feign rolling my eyes.
So adorable.
“We’re going to need to check your teeth for cavities from how sweet you’ve been the past couple of days.”
Nico brushes one of his fingers over mine. The tattoo on his bicep tightens as he journeys up the trail of veins on my inner arm. “I’ve never been there either. It’ll be a first for us both.” Nerves pebble my skin. “But be honest, is this your attempt to get me in some of Aphrodite’s love-filled waters so I can finally change your mind about rule four?”
“You think I need to make that much effort to get you to sleep with me?”
It’s rumored the Greek goddess of love’s birthing place has magical powers, but no myths will get me to break my rule.
No s*x.
“You’re right. I’m waiting for the green light.”
Gah. Nico’s confidence is enough to send me swimming headfirst into the pool of warmth in my shorts. I’ve been desired a lot in my life, but knowing he’s eager to please only tempts me more.
I pull my arm away from his trailing fingers. “Two months is a long time to wait for one good night.”
“If I wanted one good night, you wouldn’t be sitting here now.” He winks.
The outside of my knee swipes against his inner thigh. “Where would we be?”
“Do you want to find out?”
Maybe. Even the part of me that dreads the inevitable crash and burn of our arrangement.
Would it be the one time? Or would we not be able to stop?
What happens then?
Nothing.
Nothing can happen because there is absolutely nothing between us except for physical attraction and a platonic friendship.
Besides, Nico lives in California, and that’s the least concerning part of the situation. I do not do long-term situationships. He barely has a clue how to care for someone. Sure, he’s made a big effort the past few days. But I’ll be surprised if he keeps it up. The only thing we could ever turn into is awkwardness. Or worse, pain. The walls shoot up around my heart again.
“No,” I lie.
“I’ll buy our tickets tonight.”
My friend’s obviously well-off, but I can’t help feeling bad about how much he’s been paying for everything lately. Even if a little spoiling is the bare minimum apology for abandoning me.
“Fine, but I’m keeping my promise and giving you cash for half of everything.”
“Sure.”
He calls over the bartender, who pours us two tequila shots. We clink the glasses together.
“To the fact you’ve made a whole plan,” I say.
“We made a plan,” Nico corrects me and we send the stinging, smoky liquid down our throats.
I’m spending the rest of the summer traveling with Nico Navarro.
My friend. My fuck buddy. A man who wants to make an effort to grow out of his flaws simply because I make him happy.
I gulp.
Each tune of anxiety I’ve felt over the past month sings through me like an uncoordinated orchestra.
I turn down the volume on my worries. Those are future Lily’s problems.
Present Lily is going to enjoy every ounce of this fucking summer before life suffocates her again.
