sunday, september 30, 2:05 p.m.
I shade my eyes against the sun outside the church, scanning the crowd until I spot Jake. He and the other pallbearers put Simonโs casket onto some kind of metal stretcher, then step aside as the funeral directors angle it toward the hearse. I look down, not wanting to watch Simonโs body get loaded into the back of a car like an oversized suitcase, and somebody taps me on the shoulder.
โAddy Prentiss?โ An older woman dressed in a boxy blue suit gives me a polite, professional smile. โIโm Detective Laura Wheeler with the Bayview Police. I want to follow up on the discussion you had last week with Officer Budapest about Simon Kelleherโs death. Could you come to the station with me for a few minutes?โ
I stare at her and lick my lips. I want to ask why, but sheโs so calm and assured, like itโs the most natural thing in the world to pull me aside after a funeral, that it seems rude to question her. Jake comes up beside me then, handsome in his suit, and gives Detective Wheeler a friendly, curious smile. My eyes dart between them and I stammer, โIsnโt itโI meanโcanโt we talk here?โ
Detective Wheeler winces. โSo crowded, donโt you think? And weโre right around the corner.โ She gives Jake a half smile. โDetective Laura Wheeler, Bayview Police. Iโm looking to borrow Addy for a little while and get clarification on a few points related to Simon Kelleherโs death.โ
โSure,โ he says, like that settles things. โText me if you need a ride after, Ads. Luis and I will stick around downtown. Weโre starving and we
gotta talk offensive strategy for next Saturdayโs game. Going to Glennโs, probably.โ
So thatโs it, I guess. I follow Detective Wheeler down the cobblestone path behind the church that leads to the sidewalk, even though I donโt want to. Maybe this is what Ashton means when she says I donโt think for myself. Itโs three blocks to the police station, and we walk in silence past a hardware store, the post office, and an ice cream parlor where a little girl out front is having a meltdown about getting chocolate sprinkles instead of rainbow. I keep thinking I should tell Detective Wheeler that my mother will worry if I donโt come straight home, but Iโm not sure I could say it without laughing.
We pass through metal detectors in the front of the police station and Detective Wheeler leads me straight to the back and into a small, overheated room. Iโve never been inside a police station before, and I thought it would be moreโฆI donโt know. Official-looking. It reminds me of the conference room in Principal Guptaโs office, with worse lighting. The flickering fluorescent tube above us deepens every line on Detective Wheelerโs face and turns her skin an unattractive yellow. I wonder what it does to mine.
She offers me a drink, and when I decline she leaves the room for a few minutes, returning with a messenger bag slung over one shoulder and a small, dark-haired woman trailing behind her. Both of them sit across from me at the squat metal table, and Detective Wheeler lowers her bag onto the floor. โAddy, this is Lorna Shaloub, a family liaison for the Bayview School District. Sheโs here as an interested adult on your behalf. Now, this is not a custodial interrogation. You donโt have to answer my questions and you are free to leave at any time. Do you understand?โ
Not really. She lost me at โinterested adult.โ But I say โSure,โ even though I wish more than ever Iโd just gone home. Or that Jake had come with me.
โGood. I hope youโll hang in here with me. My sense is, of all the kids involved, youโre the most likely to have gotten in over your head with no ill intent.โ
I blink at her. โNo ill what?โ
โNo ill intent. I want to show you something.โ She reaches into the bag next to her and pulls out a laptop. Ms. Shaloub and I wait as she opens it and presses a few keys. I suck in my cheeks, wondering if sheโs going to show me the Tumblr posts. Maybe the police think one of us wrote them as some kind of awful joke. If they ask me who, I guess Iโd have to say Bronwyn. Because the whole thing sounds like itโs written by somebody who thinks theyโre ten times smarter than everyone else.
Detective Wheeler turns the laptop so itโs facing me. Iโm not sure what Iโm looking at, but it seems like some kind of blog, with the About That logo front and center. I give her a questioning look, and she says, โThis is the admin panel Simon used to manage content for About That. The text below last Mondayโs date stamp are his latest posts.โ
I lean forward and start to read.
First time this app has ever featured good-girl BR, possessor of schoolโs most perfect academic record. Except she didnโt get that A in chemistry through plain old hard work, unless thatโs how you define stealing tests from Mr. Cโs Google Drive. Someone call Yaleโฆ.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, our favorite criminal NMโs back to doing what he does best: making sure the entire school is as high as it wants to be. Pretty sure thatโs a probation violation there, N.
MLB plus CC equals a whole lot of green next June, right? Seems inevitable Bayviewโs southpaw will make a splash in the major leaguesโฆbut donโt they have some pretty strict antijuicing rules? Because CCโs performance was most definitely enhanced during showcase season.
AP and JR are the perfect couple. Homecoming princess and star running back, in love for three years straight. Except for that intimate detour A took over the summer with TF at his beach house. Even more awkward now that the guys are friends. Think they compare notes?
I canโt breathe. Itโs out there for everyone to see. How? Simonโs dead; he canโt have published this. Has someone else taken over for him? The Tumblr poster? But it doesnโt even matter: the how, the why, the whenโall that matters is that itย is.ย Jake will see it, if he hasnโt already. All the things I read before I got to my initials, that shocked me as I realized who they were about and what they meant, fall out of my brain. Nothing exists except my stupid, horrible mistake in black and white on the screen for the whole world to read.
Jake willย know.ย And heโll never forgive me.
Iโm almost folded in half with my head on the table, and canโt make out Detective Wheelerโs words at first. Then some start breaking through. โโฆcan understand how you felt trappedโฆkeep this from being publishedโฆ If you tell us what happened we can help you, Addyโฆ.โ
Only one phrase sinks in. โIs this not published?โ
โIt was queued up the day Simon died, but he never got the chance to post it,โ Detective Wheeler says calmly.
Salvation.ย Jake hasnโt seen this. Nobody has. Exceptโฆthis police officer, and maybe other police officers. What Iโm focused on and what sheโs focused on are two different things.
Detective Wheeler leans forward, her lips stretched in a smile that doesnโt reach her eyes. โYou may already have recognized the initials, but those other stories were about Bronwyn Rojas, Nate Macauley, and Cooper Clay. The four of you who were in the room with Simon when he died.โ
โThatโsโฆa weird coincidence,โ I manage.
โIsnโt it?โ Detective Wheeler agrees. โAddy, you already know how Simon died. Weโve analyzed Mr. Averyโs room and canโt see any way that peanut oil could have gotten into Simonโs cup unless someone put it there after he filled it from the tap. There were only six people in the room, one of whom is dead. Your teacher left for a long period of time. The four of you who remained with Simon all had reasons for wanting to keep him quiet.โ Her voice doesnโt get any louder, but it fills my ears like buzzing from a hive. โDo you see where Iโm heading with this? This might have been carried out as a group, but it doesnโt mean you share equal responsibility. Thereโs a big difference between coming up with an idea and going along with it.โ
I look at Ms. Shaloub. She does lookย interested,ย I have to say, but not like sheโs on my side. โI donโt understand what you mean.โ
โYou lied about being in the nurseโs office, Addy. Did someone put you up to that? To removing the EpiPens so Simon couldnโt be helped later?โ
My heart pounds as I pull a strand of hair off my shoulders and twist it around my fingers. โI didnโt lie. I forgot.โ God, what if she makes me take a
lie detector test? Iโll never pass.
โKids your age are under a lot of pressure today,โ Detective Wheeler says. Her tone is almost friendly, but her eyes are as flat as ever. โThe social media aloneโitโs like you canโt make a mistake anymore, can you? It follows you everywhere. The court is very forgiving toward impressionable young people who act hastily when they have a lot to lose, especially when they help us uncover the truth. Simonโs family deserves the truth, donโt you think?โ
I hunch my shoulders and tug at my hair. I donโt know what to do. Jake would knowโbut Jakeโs not here. I look at Ms. Shaloub tucking her short hair behind her ears, and suddenly Ashtonโs voice pops into my head.ย You donโt have to answer any questions.
Right.ย Detective Wheeler said that at the beginning, and the words push everything else out of my brain with startling relief and clarity.
โIโm going to leave now.โ
I say it with confidence, but Iโm still not one hundred percent sure I can do that. I stand and wait for her to stop me, but she doesnโt. She just narrows her eyes and says, โOf course. As I told you, this isnโt a custodial interrogation. But please understand, the help I can give you now wonโt be the same once you leave this room.โ
โI donโt need your help,โ I tell her, and walk out the door, then out of the police station. Nobody stops me. Once Iโm outside, though, I donโt know where to go or what to do.
I sit on a bench and pull out my phone, my hands shaking. I canโt call Jake, not for this. But who does that leave? My mindโs as blank as if Detective Wheeler took an eraser and wiped it clean. Iโve built my entire world around Jake and now that itโs shattered I realize, way too late, that I should have cultivated some other people whoโd care that a police officer with mom hair and a sensible suit just accused me of murder. And when I say โcare,โ I donโt mean in anย oh-my-God-did-you-hear-what-happened-to- Addyย kind of way.
My mother would care, but I canโt face that much scorn and judgment right now.
I scroll to theย As in my contact list and press a name. Itโs my only option, and I say a silent prayer of thanks when she picks up.
โAsh?โ Somehow I manage not to cry at my sisterโs voice. โI need help.โ
Cooper
sunday, september 30, 2:30 p.m.
When Detective Chang shows me Simonโs unpublished About That page, I read everyone elseโs entry first. Bronwynโs shocks me, Nateโs doesnโt, I have no idea who the hell this โTFโ Addy supposedly hooked up with isโ and Iโm almost positive I know whatโs coming for me. My heart pounds as I spy my initials:ย Because CCโs performance was most definitely enhanced during showcase season.
Huh. My pulse slows as I lean back in my chair. Thatโs not what I expected.
Although I guess I shouldnโt be surprised. I improved too much, too quicklyโeven the Padres scout said something.
Detective Chang dances around the subject for a while, dropping hints until I understand he thinks the four of us who were in the room planned the whole thing to keep Simon from posting his update. I try to picture itโme, Nate, and the two girls plotting murder by peanut oil in Mr. Averyโs detention. Itโs so stupid it wouldnโt even make a good movie.
I know Iโm quiet for too long. โNate and I never even spoke before last week,โ I finally say. โAnd I sure as heck never talked to the girls about this.โ
Detective Chang leans almost halfway across the table. โYouโre a good kid, Cooper. Your recordโs spotless till now, and youโve got a bright future. You made one mistake and you got caught. Thatโs scary. I get that. But itโs not too late to do the right thing.โ
Iโm not sure which mistake heโs referring to: my alleged juicing, my alleged murdering, or something we havenโt talked about yet. But as far as I know, I havenโt beenย caughtย at anything. Just accused. Bronwyn and Addy
are probably getting the exact same speech somewhere. I guess Nate would get a different one.
โI didnโt cheat,โ I tell Detective Chang. โAnd I didnโt hurt Simon.โย Ah didnโt.ย I can hear my accent coming back.
He tries a different tack. โWhose idea was it to use the planted cell phones to get all of you into detention together?โ
I lean forward, palms pressed on the black wool of my good pants. I hardly ever wear them, and theyโre making me hot and itchy. My heartโs banging against my chest again. โListen. I donโt know who did that, butโฆ isnโt it something you should look into? Like, were there fingerprints on the phones? Because it feels to me like maybe we were framed.โ The other guy in the room, some representative from the Bayview School District who hasnโt said a word, nods like Iโve said something profound. But Detective Changโs expression doesnโt change.
โCooper, we examined those phones as soon as we started to suspect foul play. Thereโs no forensic evidence to suggest anyone else was involved. Our focus is on the four of you, and thatโs where I expect it to remain.โ
Which finally gets me to say, โI want to call my parents.โ
The โwantโ part isnโt true, but Iโm in over my head. Detective Chang heaves a sigh like Iโve disappointed him but says, โAll right. You have your cell phone with you?โ When I nod, he says, โYou can make the call here.โ He stays in the room while I call Pop, who catches on a lot faster than I did.
โGive me that detective youโre talking to,โ he spits. โRight now. And Cooperstownโwait, Cooper! Hold up. Donโt you say another goddamn word toย anyone.โ
I hand Detective Chang my phone and he puts it to his ear. I canโt hear everything Popโs saying, but heโs loud enough that I get the basic idea. Detective Chang tries to insert a few wordsโalong the lines of how itโs perfectly legal to question minors in California without their parents present
โbut mostly he lets Pop rant. At one point he says, โNo. Heโs free to go,โ and my ears prick up. It hadnโt occurred to me that I couldย leave.
Detective Chang gives my phone back, and Popโs voice crackles in my ear. โCooper, you there? Get your ass home. Theyโre not charging you with
anything, and youโre not gonna answer any more questions without me and a lawyer.โ
A lawyer.ย Do I actually need one of those? I hang up and face Detective Chang. โMy father told me to leave.โ
โYou have that right,โ Detective Chang says, and I wish Iโd known that from the beginning. Maybe he told me. I honestly donโt remember. โBut, Cooper, these conversations are happening all over the station with your friends. One of them is going to agree to work with us, and that person will be treated very differently from the rest of you. I think it should be you. Iโd like you to have that chance.โ
I want to tell him heโs got it all wrong, but Pop told me to stop talking. I canโt bring myself to leave without saying anything, though. So I end up shaking Detective Changโs hand and saying, โThank you for your time, sir.โ
I sound like the ass-kisser of the century. Itโs years of conditioning kicking in.