Brynn
โโDo you have a favorite crime?โโ
The girl sitting beside me in the spacious reception area asks the question so brightly, with such a wide smile, that Iโm positive I must have misheard her. โA favoriteย what?โ I ask.
โCrime,โ she says, still smiling.
Okay. Did not mishear. โIn general, orโโ I start cautiously.
โFrom the show,โ she says, a note of impatience creeping into her voice. Which is fair. I should have known what she meant, considering weโre sitting in the middle of temporary office space forย Motive.
I try to recover. โOh, yeah, of course. Hard to pick. Theyโre all soโฆโ Whatโs the right word here? โCompelling.โ
โIโm obsessed with the Story case,โ she says, and bamโsheโs off. Iโm impressed by all the rich detail she remembers from a show that aired more than a year ago. Sheโs obviously aย Motiveย expert, whereas Iโm a more recent convert to the true-crime arm of journalism. Truth be told, I wasnโt expecting to land an interview for this internship. My application wasโฆ unconventional, to say the least.
Desperate times and all that.
Less than two months ago, in October of my senior year, my life was fully on track. I was living in Chicago, editor in chief of the school paper, applying early decision to my dream school, Northwestern. Two of my best friends planned on staying local too, so we were already dreaming about getting an apartment together. And then: one disaster after the other. I was fired from the paper, wait-listed at Northwestern, and informed by my parents that Dadโs job was transferring him back to company headquarters.
Which meant returning to my hometown of Sturgis, Massachusetts, and moving into the house my parents had been renting to my uncle Nick since weโd left. โItโll be a fresh start,โ Mom said, conveniently forgetting the part where Iโd been desperate to leave four years ago.
Since then, Iโve been scrambling to find some kind of internship that might make Northwestern take a second look at me. My first half dozen rejections were all short, impersonal form letters. Nobody had the guts to say what they were really thinking:ย Dear Ms. Gallagher, since your most- viewed article as editor of the school paper was a compilation of dick pics, you are not suitable for this position.
To be clear, I neither took nor posted the dick pics. Iโm just the loser who left the newspaper office door unlocked and forgot to log out of the main laptop. It doesnโt really matter, though, because my name was in the byline that got screenshotted a thousand times and eventually ended up on BuzzFeed with the headlineย WINDY CITY SCHOOL SCANDAL:ย PRANK OR PORNOGRAPHY?
Both, obviously. After the seventh polite rejection, it occurred to me that when something like that is your number one result in a Google search, thereโs no point trying to hide it. So when I applied toย Motive,ย I took a different tack.
The girl beside me is still talking, wrapping up an impressively in- depth analysis of the Story family saga. โWhere do you go to school?โ she asks. Sheโs wearing a cute moto jacket over a graphic T-shirt and black jeans, and it comforts me that weโre dressed somewhat alike. โIโm a
sophomore at Emerson. Majoring in media arts with a minor in journalism, but Iโm thinking about flipping those.โ
โIโm still in high school,โ I say.
โReally?โ Her eyes pop. โWow, I didnโt realize this internship was even open to high school students.โ
โI was surprised too,โ I say.
Motiveย wasnโt on the list of internships Iโd compiled with my former guidance counselorโs help; my fourteen-year-old sister, Ellie, and I came across it when we were combing through Boston.com. Until we did a Google search onย Motive,ย I hadnโt realized that the showโs host, Carly Diaz, had temporarily relocated from New York to Boston last summer to be near a sick parent.ย Motiveย isnโt a household name, exactly, but itโs a buzzy, upstart true-crime show. Right now the show only airs on a small cable station, but there are rumors that it might get picked up by one of the big streamers soon.
The Boston.com article was headlinedย CARLY DIAZ MAKES AND BREAKS HER OWN RULES, accompanied by a photo of Carly in a bright pink trench coat, standing arms akimbo in the middle of Newbury Street. She didnโt look like the kind of person whoโd judge you for a public setback; she looked more like the kind of person whoโd expect you to own it.
โSo do you work for your school paper?โ the girl asks. Way to twist the knife, Emerson Girl. โNot currently, no.โ โReally?โ Her brow furrows. โThen howโโ
โBrynn Gallagher?โ the receptionist calls. โCarly will see you now.โ
โCarly?โย Emerson Girlโs eyes widen as I scramble to my feet. โWhoa.
I didnโt know she was doing the interviews herself.โ
โHere goes nothing,โ I say. Suddenly Emerson Girl and her endless questions feel like a safe harbor, and I smile at her like sheโs an old friend as I loop my messenger bag over my shoulder. โWish me luck.โ
She gives me a thumbs-up. โYou got this.โ
I follow the receptionist down a short, narrow hallway into a large conference room with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Back Bay. I canโt focus on the view, though, because Carly Diaz gets up from her chair
at the end of the table with a megawatt smile, extending her hand toward me. โBrynn, welcome,โ she says.
Iโm so flustered that I almost sayย Youโre welcomeย in return but manage to catch myself just in time. โThank you,โ I say, grasping her hand. โItโs so nice to meet you.โ The phraseย larger than lifeย springs to mind, even though Carly would be tiny without her four-inch heels. But she radiates energy, like sheโs lit from within. Her dark hair is impossibly thick and shiny, her makeup is impeccable, and sheโs wearing such a simple yet elegant dress that it makes me want to throw out my entire wardrobe and start over.
โPlease, have a seat,โ Carly says, settling back into her chair as the receptionist slips into the hallway. โHelp yourself to a drink if youโd like.โ
Glass tumblers are in front of us, on either side of a pitcher thatโs filled to the brim with water and ice. I weigh my slight thirst against the strong possibility of spilling the pitcherโs contents all over myself or, worse yet, the laptop beside Carly. โNo thanks, Iโm good.โ
Carly folds her hands in front of her, and I canโt help but notice her rings. Sheโs wearing one on almost every finger, all bold designs in rich gold. Her nails are glossy with dark red polish and perfectly shaped, but short. โAll right,โ she says, smirking a little. โYou know why youโre here, right?โ
โFor an interview?โ I ask hopefully.
โSure.โ The smirk gets bigger. โWe received almost five hundred resumes for this internship. Mostly local college and grad students, but a few willing to relocate for the opportunity.โ My heart sinks a little as she adds, โItโs hard to stand out when thereโs that much competition, but I have to admit, Iโve never come across an application quite like yours. One of my producers, Lindzi, saw it first and forwarded it right away.โ
Carly presses a button on her laptop, angles the screen toward me, and
โthere it is. My email, all nine words of it.ย Not my best work,ย I wrote, underlined with a link to the BuzzFeed dick pic article.ย Thank you for your consideration.
My cheeks warm as Carly says, โYou did some interesting things with that email. First, you made me laugh. Out loud, once I clicked the link.
Then I actually went searching for articles youโd written, since you hadnโt bothered to include any. I took fifteen minutes out of a very busy day to look you up.โ She leans back in her chair, fingers steepled under her chin as her dark eyes bore into mine. โThatโs never happened before.โ
I want to smile, but Iโm not entirely sure sheโs complimenting me. โI was hoping youโd appreciate the honesty,โ I hedge. โAnd the, um, brevity.โ
โRisky move,โ Carly says. โBut bold, which I can respect. Itโs bullshit that you got fired for that, by the way. Any idea who posted the pics?โ
โI know exactly who it was,โ I say, folding my arms tightly across my chest. Iโd been working on a new story about rumored grade-fixing involving a few players in our state-champion basketball team. Their captain, a mouth-breather named Jason Pruitt, cornered me at my locker after English one day and said the only two words heโd ever spoken to me:ย Back off.ย I didnโt, and a week later the dick pics happened, at almost exactly the same time that basketball practice ended. โBut the guy denied it, and I couldnโt prove it.โ
โIโm sorry,โ Carly says. โYou deserved more support than that. And your work is excellent.โ I relax my rigid posture and almost smile, because this is all going a lot better than expected, but then she adds, โI wasnโt planning on hiring a high school student, though.โ
โThe job description didnโt say you have to be in college,โ I point out. โThat was an oversight,โ Carly says.
I deflate, but only briefly. She wouldnโt have brought me in if she werenโt at least considering waiving that requirement. โIโll work twice as hard as any college student,โ I promise. โI can be in the office anytime Iโm not in school, including nights and weekends.โย Because I have no life here,ย I almost add, but Carly doesnโt need that much context. โI know Iโm not the most experienced person youโre talking to, but Iโve been working toward becoming a journalist since I was in middle school. Itโs the only thing Iโve ever wanted to be.โ
โWhy is that?โ she asks.
Because itโs the only thing Iโve ever been good at.
Iโm from one of those families where people are effortlessly talented. Dad is a brilliant research scientist, Mom is an award-winning childrenโs book illustrator, and Ellie is practically a musical prodigy on flute. All of them knew from birth, pretty much, what they wanted to do. I flailed around for most of my childhood trying to find myย thingโthe talent that would define meโwhile secretly worrying that I was another Uncle Nick. โHe just doesnโt know what he wants out of life,โ my dad would sigh every time his much younger half brother switched majors yet again. โHe never has.โ
It seemed like the worst possible trait for a Gallagher, to not know what you want. As much as I love Uncle Nick, I didnโt want to be the family slacker, part two. So it was a relief when I reached eighth grade and my English teacher singled me out for my writing. โYou should work on the school paper,โ he suggested. I did, and for the first time, I found something that came naturally to me. Itโs been my identity ever sinceโโBrynn will be anchoring CNN one of these days,โ my parents like to sayโand it was terrifying to lose that last fall. To see something that Iโd worked so hard for, and been so proud of, turned into a joke.
I donโt know how to explain that in an interview-friendly sound bite, though. โBecause you can make a real difference with every story, and give a voice to people who donโt have one,โ I say instead.
โWell stated,โ Carly says politely. For the first time since we sat down, though, she looks a little bored, and I flush. I gave what I thought was a safe response, but that was probably a mistake with someone like Carly. She didnโt bring me in here because my application wasย safe.ย โYou do realize weโre not theย New York Times,ย though, right? True-crime reporting is a very specific niche, and if you arenโt passionate about itโโ
โI am, though.โ Itโs a risk to interrupt her, I know, but I canโt let her dismiss me. The more I looked intoย Motive,ย the more I realized that it was exactly the kind of opportunity I neededโone where I could do more than just check a box on my college applications. โThatโs something I wanted to talk to you about. Iโve done all the things you mentioned in the job posting
โsocial media, copyediting, fact-checking, et cetera. I have an actual
resume I can show you, plus references. But also, if youโre interested, I have a story idea.โ
โOh?โ Carly asks.
โYeah.โ I dig into my messenger bag and pull out the manila folder I carefully assembled in preparation for this interview. โAn unsolved murder from my hometown.โ
Carly raises her brows. โAre you pitching me right now? In the middle of an interview?โ
I freeze with the folder half-open, unable to tell from her tone whether sheโs impressed, amused, or annoyed. โYes,โ I admit. โIs that okay?โ
โBy all means,โ she says, lips quirking. โGo on.โ Amused. Could be worse.
The clipping Iโm looking for is right on top. Itโs a photo from theย Sturgis Times,ย captionedย Saint Ambrose Students Brynn Gallagher and Noah Talbot Win Statewide Eighth-Grade Writing Competition.ย My thirteen-year-old self is standing between two other people, smiling widely and holding up the Olympic-style medal around my neck.
โAw, look at how cute you were,โ Carly says. โCongratulations.โ โThanks, but I didnโt hang on to this because of the award. I kept it for
him.โ I tap my finger on the man in the pictureโyoung, handsome, and smiling. Even in two-dimensional photo form, heโs brimming with energy. โThis was my English teacher, William Larkin. It was his first year teaching at Saint Ambrose, and he was the one who insisted I enter the writing contest. He also got me started on the school paper.โ
My throat thickens as I hear Mr. Larkinโs voice in my head, as clear today as it was four years ago.ย You have a gift,ย he said, and I donโt think he realized how much those words meant to me. I never told him, which is something Iโll always regret. โHe was constantly trying to get students to live up to their potential,โ I say. โOr see it, if they didnโt think they had any.โ
I look up to make sure I have Carlyโs full attention before adding, โTwo months after this picture was taken, Mr. Larkin was dead. Bludgeoned with a rock in the woods behind Saint Ambrose. Three of my classmates
found the body.โ This time, I tap the boy in the picture, whoโs wearing a medal identical to mine. โIncluding him.โ