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Chapter no 24 – VOTE

New Moon (The Twilight Saga, Book 2)

HE WAS NOT PLEASED, THAT MUCH WAS EASY TO READ IN his

face. But, without further argument, he took me in his arms and sprang lithely from my window, landing without the slightest jolt, like a cat. Itย wasย a little bit farther down than Iโ€™d imagined.

โ€œAll right then,โ€ he said, his voice seething with disapproval. โ€œUp you go.โ€

He helped me onto his back, and took off running. Even after all this time, it felt routine. Easy. Evidently this was something you never forgot, like riding a bicycle.

It was so very quiet and dark as he ran through the forest, his breathing slow and evenโ€”dark enough that the trees flying past us were nearly invisible, and only the rush of air in my face truly gave away our speed. The air was damp; it didnโ€™t burn my eyes the way the wind in the big plaza had, and that was comforting. As was the night, too, after that terrifying brightness. Like the thick quilt Iโ€™d played under as a child, the dark felt familiar and protecting.

I remembered that running through the forest like this used to frighten me, that I used to have to close my eyes. It seemed a silly reaction to me now. I kept my eyes wide, my chin resting on his shoulder, my cheek against his neck. The speed was exhilarating. A hundred times better than the motorcycle.

I turned my face toward him and pressed my lips into the cold stone skin of his neck.

โ€œThank you,โ€ he said, as the vague, black shapes of trees raced past us. โ€œDoes that mean youโ€™ve decided youโ€™re awake?โ€

I laughed. The sound was easy, natural, effortless. It soundedย right. โ€œNot really. More that, either way, Iโ€™m not trying to wake up. Not tonight.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll earn your trust back somehow,โ€ he murmured, mostly to himself. โ€œIf itโ€™s my final act.โ€

โ€œI trustย you,โ€ I assured him. โ€œItโ€™s me I donโ€™t trust.โ€ โ€œExplain that, please.โ€

Heโ€™d slowed to a walkโ€”I could only tell because the wind ceasedโ€”and I guessed that we werenโ€™t far from the house. In fact, I thought I could make out the sound of the river rushing somewhere close by in the darkness.

โ€œWellโ€”โ€ I struggled to find the right way to phrase it. โ€œI donโ€™t trust myself to be…enough. To deserve you. Thereโ€™s nothing about me that couldย holdย you.โ€

He stopped and reached around to pull me from his back. His gentle hands did not release me; after heโ€™d set me on my feet again, he wrapped his arms tightly around me, hugging me to his chest.

โ€œYour hold is permanent and unbreakable,โ€ he whispered. โ€œNever doubt that.โ€

But how could I not?

โ€œYou never did tell me…,โ€ he murmured. โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œWhat your greatest problem is.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll give you one guess.โ€ I sighed, and reached up to touch the tip of his nose with my index finger.

He nodded. โ€œIโ€™m worse than the Volturi,โ€ he said grimly. โ€œI guess Iโ€™ve earned that.โ€

I rolled my eyes. โ€œThe worst the Volturi can do is kill me.โ€ He waited with tense eyes.

โ€œYou can leave me,โ€ I explained. โ€œThe Volturi, Victoria…theyโ€™re nothing compared to that.โ€

Even in the darkness, I could see the anguish twist his faceโ€”it reminded me of his expression under Janeโ€™s torturing gaze; I felt sick, and regretted speaking the truth.

โ€œDonโ€™t,โ€ I whispered, touching his face. โ€œDonโ€™t be sad.โ€

He pulled one corner of his mouth up halfheartedly, but the expression didnโ€™t touch his eyes. โ€œIf there was only some way to make you see that I

canโ€™tย leave you,โ€ he whispered. โ€œTime, I suppose, will be the way to convince you.โ€

I liked the idea of time. โ€œOkay,โ€ I agreed.

His face was still tormented. I tried to distract him with inconsequentials.

โ€œSoโ€”since youโ€™re staying. Can I have my stuff back?โ€ I asked, making my tone as light as I could manage.

My attempt worked, to an extent: he laughed. But his eyes retained the misery. โ€œYour things were never gone,โ€ he told me. โ€œI knew it was wrong, since I promised you peace without reminders. It was stupid and childish, but I wanted to leave something of myself with you. The CD, the pictures, the ticketsโ€”theyโ€™re all under your floorboards.โ€

โ€œReally?โ€

He nodded, seeming slightly cheered by my obvious pleasure in this trivial fact. It wasnโ€™t enough to heal the pain in his face completely.

โ€œI think,โ€ I said slowly, โ€œIโ€™m not sure, but I wonder… I think maybe I knew it the whole time.โ€

โ€œWhat did you know?โ€

I only wanted to take away the agony in his eyes, but as I spoke the words, they sounded truer than I expected they would.

โ€œSome part of me, my subconscious maybe, never stopped believing that you still cared whether I lived or died. Thatโ€™s probably why I was hearing the voices.โ€

There was a very deep silence for a moment. โ€œVoices?โ€ he asked flatly. โ€œWell, just one voice. Yours. Itโ€™s a long story.โ€ The wary look on his

face made me wish that I hadnโ€™t brought that up. Would he think I was crazy, like everyone else? Was everyone else right about that? But at least that expressionโ€”the one that made him look like something was burning himโ€”faded.

โ€œIโ€™ve got time.โ€ His voice was unnaturally even. โ€œItโ€™s pretty pathetic.โ€

He waited.

I wasnโ€™t sure how to explain. โ€œDo you remember what Alice said about extreme sports?โ€

He spoke the words without inflection or emphasis. โ€œYou jumped off a cliff for fun.โ€

โ€œEr, right. And before that, with the motorcycleโ€”โ€ โ€œMotorcycle?โ€ he asked. I knew his voice well enough to hear

something brewing behind the calm.

โ€œI guess I didnโ€™t tell Alice about that part.โ€ โ€œNo.โ€

โ€œWell, about that…See, I found that…when I was doing something dangerous or stupid…I could remember you more clearly,โ€ I confessed, feeling completely mental. โ€œI could remember how your voice sounded when you were angry. I could hear it, like you were standing right there next to me. Mostly I tried not to think about you, but this didnโ€™t hurt so muchโ€”it was like you were protecting me again. Like you didnโ€™t want me to be hurt.

โ€œAnd, well, I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because, underneath it all, I always knew that you hadnโ€™t stopped loving me.โ€

Again, as I spoke, the words brought with them a sense of conviction.

Of rightness. Some deep place inside me recognized truth.

His words came out half-strangled. โ€œYou…were…risking your life…to hearโ€”โ€

โ€œShh,โ€ I interrupted him. โ€œHold on a second. I think Iโ€™m having an epiphany here.โ€

I thought of that night in Port Angeles when Iโ€™d had my first delusion.

Iโ€™d come up with two options. Insanity or wish fulfillment. Iโ€™d seen no third option.

But what if…

What if you sincerely believed something was true, but you were dead wrong? What if you were so stubbornly sure that you were right, that you wouldnโ€™t even consider the truth? Would the truth be silenced, or would it try to break through?

Option three: Edward loved me. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than me he might be,he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so would he always be mine.

Was that what Iโ€™d been trying to tell myself? โ€œOh!โ€

โ€œBella?โ€

โ€œOh. Okay. I see.โ€

โ€œYour epiphany?โ€ he asked, his voice uneven and strained.

โ€œYou love me,โ€ I marveled. The sense of conviction and rightness washed through me again.

Though his eyes were still anxious, the crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face. โ€œTruly, I do.โ€

My heart inflated like it was going to crack right through my ribs. It filled my chest and blocked my throat so that I could not speak.

He really did want me the way I wanted himโ€”forever. Itย wasย only fear for my soul, for the human things he didnโ€™t want to take from me, that made him so desperate to leave me mortal. Compared to the fear that he didnโ€™t want me, this hurdleโ€”my soulโ€”seemed almost insignificant.

He took my face tightly between his cool hands and kissed me until I was so dizzy the forest was spinning. Then he leaned his forehead against mine, and I was not the only one breathing harder than usual.

โ€œYou were better at it than I was, you know,โ€ he told me. โ€œBetter at what?โ€

โ€œSurviving. You, at least, made an effort. You got up in the morning, tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your life. When I wasnโ€™t actively tracking, I was…totally useless. I couldnโ€™t be around my familyโ€”I couldnโ€™t be around anyone. Iโ€™m embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me.โ€ He grinned, sheepish. โ€œIt was much more pathetic than hearing voices. And, of course, you know I do that, too.โ€

I was deeply relieved that he really seemed to understandโ€”comforted that this all made sense to him. At any rate, he wasnโ€™t looking at me like I was crazy. He was looking at me like…he loved me.

โ€œI only heard one voice,โ€ I corrected him.

He laughed and then pulled me tight against his right side and started to lead me forward.

โ€œIโ€™m just humoring you with this.โ€ He motioned broadly with his hand toward the darkness in front of us as we walked. There was something pale and immense thereโ€”the house, I realized. โ€œIt doesnโ€™t matter in the slightest what they say.โ€

โ€œThis affects them now, too.โ€

He shrugged indifferently.

He led me through the open front door into the dark house and flipped the lights on. The room was just as Iโ€™d remembered itโ€”the piano and the white couches and the pale, massive staircase. No dust, no white sheets.

Edward called out the names with no more volume than Iโ€™d use in regular conversation. โ€œCarlisle? Esme? Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Alice?โ€ They would hear.

Carlisle was suddenly standing beside me, as if heโ€™d been there all along. โ€œWelcome back, Bella.โ€ He smiled. โ€œWhat can we do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?โ€

I nodded. โ€œIโ€™d like to talk to everyone at once, if thatโ€™s okay. About something important.โ€

I couldnโ€™t help glancing up at Edwardโ€™s face as I spoke. His expression was critical, but resigned. When I looked back to Carlisle, he was looking at Edward, too.

โ€œOf course,โ€ Carlisle said. โ€œWhy donโ€™t we talk in the other room?โ€

Carlisle led the way through the bright living room, around the corner to the dining room, turning on lights as he went. The walls were white, the ceilings high, like the living room. In the center of the room, under the low- hanging chandelier, was a large, polished oval table surrounded by eight chairs. Carlisle held out a chair for me at the head.

Iโ€™d never seen the Cullens use the dining room table beforeโ€”it was just a prop. They didnโ€™t eat in the house.

As soon as I turned to sit in the chair, I saw that we were not alone.

Esme had followed Edward, and behind her the rest of the family filed in.

Carlisle sat down on my right, and Edward on my left. Everyone else took their seats in silence. Alice was grinning at me, already in on the plot. Emmett and Jasper looked curious, and Rosalie smiled at me tentatively.

My answering smile was just as timid. That was going to take some getting used to.

Carlisle nodded toward me. โ€œThe floor is yours.โ€

I swallowed. Their gazing eyes made me nervous. Edward took my hand under the table. I peeked at him, but he was watching the others, his face suddenly fierce.

โ€œWell,โ€ I paused. โ€œIโ€™m hoping Alice has already told you everything that happened in Volterra?โ€

โ€œEverything,โ€ Alice assured me.

I threw her a meaningful look. โ€œAnd on the way?โ€ โ€œThat, too,โ€ she nodded.

โ€œGood,โ€ I sighed with relief. โ€œThen weโ€™re all on the same page.โ€ They waited patiently while I tried to order my thoughts.

โ€œSo, I have a problem,โ€ I began. โ€œAlice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you. Theyโ€™re going to send someone to check, and Iโ€™m sure thatโ€™s a bad thingโ€”something to avoid.

โ€œAnd so, now, this involves you all. Iโ€™m sorry about that.โ€ I looked at each one of their beautiful faces, saving the most beautiful for last.

Edwardโ€™s mouth was turned down into a grimace. โ€œBut, if you donโ€™t want me, then Iโ€™m not going to force myself on you, whether Alice is willing or not.โ€

Esme opened her mouth to speak, but I held up one finger to stop her. โ€œPlease, let me finish. You all know what I want. And Iโ€™m sure you

know what Edward thinks, too. I think the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote. If you decide you donโ€™t want me, then…I guess Iโ€™ll go back to Italy alone. I canโ€™t haveย themย comingย here.โ€ My forehead creased as I considered that.

There was the faint rumble of a growl in Edwardโ€™s chest. I ignored him. โ€œTaking into account, then, that I wonโ€™t put any of you in danger either

way, I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire.โ€ I half-smiled on the last word, and gestured toward Carlisle to begin. โ€œJust a minute,โ€ Edward interrupted.

I glared at him through narrowed eyes. He raised his eyebrows at me, squeezing my hand.

โ€œI have something to add before we vote.โ€ I sighed.

โ€œAbout the danger Bellaโ€™s referring to,โ€ he continued. โ€œI donโ€™t think we need to be overly anxious.โ€

His expression became more animated. He put his free hand on the shining table and leaned forward.

โ€œYou see,โ€ he explained, looking around the table while he spoke, โ€œthere was more than one reason why I didnโ€™t want to shake Aroโ€™s hand there at the end. Thereโ€™s something they didnโ€™t think of, and I didnโ€™t want to clue them in.โ€ He grinned.

โ€œWhich was?โ€ Alice prodded. I was sure my expression was just as skeptical as hers.

โ€œThe Volturi are overconfident, and with good reason. When they decide to find someone, itโ€™s not really a problem. Do you remember Demetri?โ€ He glanced down at me.

I shuddered. He took that as a yes.

โ€œHe finds peopleโ€”thatโ€™s his talent, why they keep him.

โ€œNow, the whole time we were with any of them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible. So I saw how Demetriโ€™s talent works. Heโ€™s a trackerโ€”a tracker a thousand times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the…flavor? I donโ€™t know how to describe it…the tenor…of someoneโ€™s mind, and then he follows that. It works over immense distances.

โ€œBut after Aroโ€™s little experiments, well . . .โ€ Edward shrugged. โ€œYou think he wonโ€™t be able to find me,โ€ I said flatly.

He was smug. โ€œIโ€™m sure of it. He relies totally on that other sense.

When it doesnโ€™t work with you, theyโ€™ll all be blind.โ€ โ€œAnd how does that solve anything?โ€

โ€œQuite obviously, Alice will be able to tell when theyโ€™re planning a visit, and Iโ€™ll hide you. Theyโ€™ll be helpless,โ€ he said with fierce enjoyment. โ€œIt will be like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack!โ€

He and Emmett exchanged a glance and a smirk.

This made no sense. โ€œBut they can find you,โ€ I reminded him. โ€œAnd I can take care of myself.โ€

Emmett laughed, and reached across the table toward his brother, extending a fist.

โ€œExcellent plan, my brother,โ€ he said with enthusiasm.

Edward stretched out his arm to smack Emmettโ€™s fist with his own. โ€œNo,โ€ Rosalie hissed.

โ€œAbsolutely not,โ€ I agreed.

โ€œNice.โ€ Jasperโ€™s voice was appreciative. โ€œIdiots,โ€ Alice muttered.

Esme just glared at Edward.

I straightened up in my chair, focusing. This wasย myย meeting.

โ€œAll right, then. Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider,โ€ I said coolly. โ€œLetโ€™s vote.โ€

I looked toward Edward this time; it would be better to get his opinion out of the way. โ€œDo you want me to join your family?โ€

His eyes were hard and black as flint. โ€œNot that way. Youโ€™re staying human.โ€

I nodded once, keeping my face businesslike, and then moved on. โ€œAlice?โ€

โ€œYes.โ€

โ€œJasper?โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ he said, voice grave. I was a little surprisedโ€”I hadnโ€™t been at all sure of his voteโ€”but I suppressed my reaction and moved on.

โ€œRosalie?โ€

She hesitated, biting down on her full, perfect bottom lip. โ€œNo.โ€

I kept my face blank and turned my head slightly to move on, but she held up both her hands, palms forward.

โ€œLet me explain,โ€ she pleaded. โ€œI donโ€™t mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister. Itโ€™s just that…this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me.โ€

I nodded slowly, and then turned to Emmett.

โ€œHell, yes!โ€ He grinned. โ€œWe can find some other way to pick a fight with this Demetri.โ€

I was still grimacing at that when I looked at Esme.

โ€œYes, of course, Bella. I already think of you as part of my family.โ€ โ€œThank you, Esme,โ€ I murmured as I turned toward Carlisle.

I was suddenly nervous, wishing I had asked for his vote first. I was sure that this was the vote that mattered most, the vote that counted more than any majority.

Carlisle wasnโ€™t looking at me. โ€œEdward,โ€ he said.

โ€œNo,โ€ Edward growled. His jaw was strained tight, his lips curled back from his teeth.

โ€œItโ€™s the only way that makes sense,โ€ Carlisle insisted. โ€œYouโ€™ve chosen not to live without her, and that doesnโ€™t leave me a choice.โ€

Edward dropped my hand, shoving away from the table. He stalked out of the room, snarling under his breath.

โ€œI guess you know my vote.โ€ Carlisle sighed.

I was still staring after Edward. โ€œThanks,โ€ I mumbled. An earsplitting crash echoed from the other room.

I flinched, and spoke quickly. โ€œThatโ€™s all I needed. Thank you. For wanting to keep me. I feel exactly the same way about all of you, too.โ€ My voice was jagged with emotion by the end.

Esme was at my side in a flash, her cold arms around me. โ€œDearest Bella,โ€ she breathed.

I hugged her back. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Rosalie looking down at the table, and I realized that my words could be construed in two ways.

โ€œWell, Alice,โ€ I said when Esme released me. โ€œWhere do you want to do this?โ€

Alice stared at me, her eyes widening with terror.

โ€œNo!ย No! NO!โ€ Edward roared, charging back into the room. He was in my face before I had time to blink, bending over me, his expression twisted in rage. โ€œAre you insane?โ€ he shouted. โ€œHave you utterly lost your mind?โ€

I cringed away, my hands over my ears.

โ€œUm, Bella,โ€ Alice interjected in an anxious voice. โ€œI donโ€™t think Iโ€™m

readyย for that. Iโ€™ll need to prepare. โ€

โ€œYou promised,โ€ I reminded her, glaring under Edwardโ€™s arm.

โ€œI know, but. Seriously, Bella! I donโ€™t have any idea how toย notย kill

you.โ€

โ€œYou can do it,โ€ I encouraged. โ€œI trust you.โ€ Edward snarled in fury.

Alice shook her head quickly, looking panicked. โ€œCarlisle?โ€ I turned to look at him.

Edward grabbed my face in his hand, forcing me to look at him. His other hand was out, palm toward Carlisle.

Carlisle ignored that. โ€œIโ€™m able to do it,โ€ he answered my question. I wished I could see his expression. โ€œYou would be in no danger of me losing control.โ€

โ€œSounds good.โ€ I hoped he could understand; it was hard to talk clearly the way Edward held my jaw.

โ€œHold on,โ€ Edward said between his teeth. โ€œIt doesnโ€™t have to be now.โ€

โ€œThereโ€™s no reason for it not to be now,โ€ I said, the words coming out distorted.

โ€œI can think of a few.โ€

โ€œOf course you can,โ€ I said sourly. โ€œNow let go of me.โ€

He freed my face, and folded his arms across his chest. โ€œIn about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldnโ€™t put it past him to involve the police.โ€

โ€œAll three of them.โ€ But I frowned.

This was always the hardest part. Charlie, Renรฉe. Now Jacob, too. The people I would lose, the people I would hurt. I wished there was some way that I could be the only one to suffer, but I knew that was impossible.

At the same time, I was hurting them more by staying human. Putting Charlie in constant danger through my proximity. Putting Jake in worse danger still by drawing his enemies across the land he felt bound to protect. And Renรฉeโ€”I couldnโ€™t even risk a visit to see my own mother for fear of bringing my deadly problems along with me!

I was a danger magnet; Iโ€™d accepted that about myself.

Accepting this, I knew I needed to be able to take care of myself and protect the ones I loved, even if that meant that I couldnโ€™t beย withย them. I needed to be strong.

โ€œIn the interest of remainingย inconspicuous,โ€ Edward said, still talking through his gritted teeth, but looking at Carlisle now, โ€œI suggest that we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlieโ€™s house.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s a reasonable request, Bella,โ€ Carlisle pointed out.

I thought about Charlieโ€™s reaction when he woke up this morning, ifโ€” after all that life had put him through in the last week with Harryโ€™s loss, and thenย Iย had put him through with my unexplained disappearanceโ€”he were to find my bed empty. Charlie deserved better than that. It was just a little more time; graduation wasnโ€™t so far away…

I pursed my lips. โ€œIโ€™ll consider it.โ€ Edward relaxed. His jaw unclenched.

โ€œI should probably take you home,โ€ he said, more calm now, but clearly in a hurry to get me out of here. โ€œJust in case Charlie wakes up early.โ€

I looked at Carlisle. โ€œAfter graduation?โ€ โ€œYou have my word.โ€

I took a deep breath, smiled, and turned back to Edward. โ€œOkay. You can take me home.โ€

Edward rushed me out of the house before Carlisle could promise me anything else. He took me out the back, so I didnโ€™t get to see what was broken in the living room.

It was a quiet trip home. I was feeling triumphant, and a little smug.

Scared stiff, too, of course, but I tried not to think about that part. It did me no good to worry about the painโ€”the physical or the emotionalโ€”so I wouldnโ€™t. Not until I absolutely had to.

When we got to my house, Edward didnโ€™t pause. He dashed up the wall and through my window in half a second. Then he pulled my arms from around his neck and set me on the bed.

I thought I had a pretty good idea of what he was thinking, but his expression surprised me. Instead of furious, it was calculating. He paced silently back and forth across my dark room while I watched with growing suspicion.

โ€œWhatever youโ€™re planning, itโ€™s not going to work,โ€ I told him. โ€œShh. Iโ€™m thinking.โ€

โ€œUgh,โ€ I groaned, throwing myself back on the bed and pulling the quilt over my head.

There was no sound, but suddenly he was there. He flipped the cover back so he could see me. He was lying next to me. His hand reached up to brush my hair from my cheek.

โ€œIf you donโ€™t mind, Iโ€™d much rather you didnโ€™t hide your face. Iโ€™ve lived without it for as long as I can stand. Now…tell me something.โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€ I asked, unwilling.

โ€œIf you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?โ€

I could feel the skepticism in my eyes. โ€œYou.โ€

He shook his head impatiently. โ€œSomething you donโ€™t already have.โ€

I wasnโ€™t sure where he was trying to lead me, so I thought carefully before I answered. I came up with something that was both true, and also probably impossible.

โ€œI would want…Carlisle not to have to do it. I would wantย youย to change me.โ€

I watched his reaction warily, expecting more of the fury Iโ€™d seen at his house. I was surprised that his expression didnโ€™t change. It was still calculating, thoughtful.

โ€œWhat would you be willing to trade for that?โ€

I couldnโ€™t believe my ears. I gawked at his composed face and blurted out the answer before I could think about it.

โ€œAnything.โ€

He smiled faintly, and then pursed his lips. โ€œFive years?โ€

My face twisted into an expression somewhere between chagrin and horror.

โ€œYou said anything,โ€ he reminded me.

โ€œYes, but…youโ€™ll use the time to find a way out of it. I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, itโ€™s just too dangerous to be humanโ€”for me, at least. So, anything butย that.โ€

He frowned. โ€œThree years?โ€ โ€œNo!โ€

โ€œIsnโ€™t it worth anything to you at all?โ€

I thought about how much I wanted this. Better to keep a poker face, I decided, and not let him know howย veryย much that was. It would give me more leverage. โ€œSix months?โ€

He rolled his eyes. โ€œNot good enough.โ€ โ€œOne year, then,โ€ I said. โ€œThatโ€™s my limit.โ€ โ€œAt least give me two.โ€

โ€œNo way. Nineteen Iโ€™ll do. But Iโ€™m not going anywhereย nearย twenty. If youโ€™re staying in your teens forever, then so am I.โ€

He thought for a minute. โ€œAll right. Forget time limits. If you want me to be the oneโ€”then youโ€™ll just have to meet one condition.โ€

โ€œCondition?โ€ My voice went flat. โ€œWhat condition?โ€

His eyes were cautiousโ€”he spoke slowly. โ€œMarry me first.โ€ I stared at him, waiting. โ€œOkay. Whatโ€™s the punch line?โ€

He sighed. โ€œYouโ€™re wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think itโ€™s a joke.โ€

โ€œEdward, please be serious.โ€

โ€œI am one hundred percent serious.โ€ He gazed at me with no hint of humor in his face.

โ€œOh, cโ€™mon,โ€ I said, an edge of hysteria in my voice. โ€œIโ€™m only eighteen.โ€

โ€œWell, Iโ€™m nearly a hundred and ten. Itโ€™s time I settled down.โ€

I looked away, out the dark window, trying to control the panic before it gave me away.

โ€œLook, marriage isnโ€™t exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know? It was sort of the kiss of death for Renรฉe and Charlie.โ€

โ€œInteresting choice of words.โ€ โ€œYou know what I mean.โ€

He inhaled deeply. โ€œPlease donโ€™t tell me that youโ€™re afraid of the commitment,โ€ his voice was disbelieving, and I understood what he meant.

โ€œThatโ€™s not it exactly,โ€ I hedged. โ€œIโ€™m…afraid of Renรฉe. She has some really intense opinions on getting married before youโ€™re thirty.โ€

โ€œBecause sheโ€™d rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married.โ€ He laughed darkly.

โ€œYou think youโ€™re joking.โ€

โ€œBella, if you compare the level of commitment between a marital union as opposed to bartering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire . . .โ€ He shook his head. โ€œIf youโ€™re not brave enough to marry me, thenโ€”โ€

โ€œWell,โ€ I interrupted. โ€œWhat if I did? What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?โ€

He smiled, his teeth flashing in the dark. โ€œSure,โ€ he said, calling my bluff. โ€œIโ€™ll get my car.โ€

โ€œDammit.โ€ I muttered. โ€œIโ€™ll give you eighteen months.โ€ โ€œNo deal,โ€ he said, grinning. โ€œI likeย thisย condition.โ€ โ€œFine. Iโ€™ll have Carlisle do it when I graduate.โ€

โ€œIf thatโ€™s what you really want.โ€ He shrugged, and his smile became absolutely angelic.

โ€œYouโ€™re impossible,โ€ I groaned. โ€œA monster.โ€

He chuckled. โ€œIs that why you wonโ€™t marry me?โ€ I groaned again.

He leaned toward me; his night-dark eyes melted and smoldered and shattered my concentration. โ€œPlease, Bella?โ€ he breathed.

I forgot how to breathe for a moment. When I recovered, I shook my head quickly, trying to clear my suddenly clouded mind.

โ€œWould this have gone better if Iโ€™d had time to get a ring?โ€ โ€œNo! No rings!โ€ I very nearly shouted.

โ€œNow youโ€™ve done it,โ€ he whispered. โ€œOops.โ€

โ€œCharlieโ€™s getting up; Iโ€™d better leave,โ€ Edward said with resignation. My heart stopped beating.

He gauged my expression for a second. โ€œWould it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ I whispered eagerly. โ€œStay. Please.โ€ Edward smiled and disappeared.

I seethed in the darkness as I waited for Charlie to check on me. Edward knew exactly what he was doing, and I was willing to bet that all the injured surprise was part of the ploy. Of course, I still had the Carlisle option, but now that I knew there was a chance that Edward would change me himself, I wanted it bad. He was such a cheater.

My door cracked open. โ€œMorning, Dad.โ€

โ€œOh, hey, Bella.โ€ He sounded embarrassed at getting caught. โ€œI didnโ€™t know you were awake.โ€

โ€œYeah. Iโ€™ve just been waiting for you to wake up so I could take a shower.โ€ I started to get up.

โ€œHold on,โ€ Charlie said, flipping the light on. I blinked in the sudden brightness, and carefully kept my eyes away from the closet. โ€œLetโ€™s talk for a minute first.โ€

I couldnโ€™t control my grimace. Iโ€™d forgotten to ask Alice for a good excuse.

โ€œYou know youโ€™re in trouble.โ€ โ€œYeah, I know.โ€

โ€œI just about went crazy these last three days. I come home from Harryโ€™sย funeral, and youโ€™re gone. Jacob could only tell me that youโ€™d run off with Alice Cullen, and that he thought you were in trouble. You didnโ€™t leave me a number, and you didnโ€™t call. I didnโ€™t know where you were or whenโ€”or if

โ€”you were coming back. Do you have any idea how…how . . .โ€ He couldnโ€™t finish the sentence. He sucked in a sharp breath and moved on. โ€œCan you give me one reason why I shouldnโ€™t ship you off to Jacksonville this second?โ€

My eyes narrowed. So it was going to be threats, was it? Two could play at that game. I sat up, pulling the quilt around me. โ€œBecause I wonโ€™t go.โ€

โ€œNow just one minute, young ladyโ€”โ€

โ€œLook, Dad, I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want. I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think Iโ€™ve learned my lesson. And I guess youโ€™re within your rights if you want to kick me out, tooโ€”but that wonโ€™t make me to go to Florida.โ€

His face turned bright red. He took a few deep breaths before he answered.

โ€œWould you like to explain where youโ€™ve been?โ€ Oh, crap. โ€œThere was…an emergency.โ€

He raised his eyebrows in expectation of my brilliant explanation.

I filled my cheeks with air and then blew it out noisily. โ€œI donโ€™t know what to tell you, Dad. It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand.โ€

He waited with a distrustful expression.

โ€œSee, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping off the cliff. โ€ I was

scrambling frantically to make this work, to keep it as close to the truth as possible so that my inability to lie convincingly would not undermine the excuse, but before I could go on, Charlieโ€™s expression reminded me that he didnโ€™t know anything about the cliff.

Major oops. As if I wasnโ€™t already toast.

โ€œI guess I didnโ€™t tell you about that,โ€ I choked out. โ€œIt was nothing. Just messing around, swimming with Jake. Anyway, Rosalie told Edward, and he was upset. She sort of accidentally made it sound like I was trying to kill myself or something. He wouldnโ€™t answer his phone, so Alice dragged me to. L.A., to explain in person.โ€ I shrugged, desperately hoping that he

would not be so distracted by my slip that heโ€™d miss the brilliant explanation Iโ€™d provided.

Charlieโ€™s face was frozen. โ€œWereย you trying to kill yourself, Bella?โ€ โ€œNo, of course not. Just having fun with Jake. Cliff diving. The La Push

kids do it all the time. Like I said, nothing.โ€

Charlieโ€™s face heated upโ€”from frozen to hot with fury. โ€œWhatโ€™s it to Edward Cullen anyway?โ€ he barked. โ€œAll this time, heโ€™s just left you dangling without a wordโ€”โ€

I interrupted him. โ€œAnother misunderstanding.โ€ His face flushed again. โ€œSo is he back then?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not sure what the exact plan is. Iย thinkย they all are.โ€

He shook his head, the vein in his forehead pulsing. โ€œI want you to stay away from him, Bella. I donโ€™t trust him. Heโ€™s rotten for you. I wonโ€™t let him mess you up like that again.โ€

โ€œFine,โ€ I said curtly.

Charlie rocked back onto his heels. โ€œOh.โ€ He scrambled for a second, exhaling loudly in surprise. โ€œI thought you were going to be difficult.โ€

โ€œI am.โ€ I stared straight into his eyes. โ€œI meant, โ€˜Fine, Iโ€™ll move out.โ€™โ€

His eyes bulged; his face turned puce. My resolve wavered as I started to worry about his health. He was no younger than Harry….

โ€œDad, I donโ€™tย wantย to move out,โ€ I said in a softer tone. โ€œI love you. I know youโ€™re worried, but you need to trust me on this. And youโ€™re going to have to ease up on Edward if you want me to stay. Do you want me to live here or not?โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s not fair, Bella. You know I want you to stay.โ€

โ€œThen be nice to Edward, because heโ€™s going to be where I am.โ€ I said it with confidence. The conviction of my epiphany was still strong.

โ€œNot under my roof,โ€ Charlie stormed.

I sighed a heavy sigh. โ€œLook, Iโ€™m not going to give you any more ultimatums tonightโ€”or I guess itโ€™s this morning. Just think about it for a few days, okay? But keep in mind that Edward and I are sort of a package deal.โ€

โ€œBellaโ€”โ€

โ€œThink it over,โ€ I insisted. โ€œAnd while youโ€™re doing that, could you give me some privacy? Iย reallyย need a shower.โ€

Charlieโ€™s face was a strange shade of purple, but he left, slamming the door behind him. I heard him stomp furiously down the stairs.

I threw off my quilt, and Edward was already there, sitting in the rocking chair as if heโ€™d been present through the whole conversation.

โ€œSorry about that,โ€ I whispered.

โ€œItโ€™s not as if I donโ€™t deserve far worse,โ€ he murmured. โ€œDonโ€™t start anything with Charlie over me, please.โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t worry about it,โ€ I breathed as I gathered up my bathroom things and a set of clean clothes. โ€œI will start exactly as much as is necessary, and

no more than that. Or are you trying to tell me I have nowhere to go?โ€ I widened my eyes with false alarm.

โ€œYouโ€™d move in with a house full of vampires?โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s probably the safest place for someone like me. Besides . . .โ€ I grinned. โ€œIf Charlie kicks me out, then thereโ€™s no need for a graduation deadline, is there?โ€

His jaw tightened. โ€œSo eager for eternal damnation,โ€ he muttered. โ€œYou know you donโ€™t really believe that.โ€

โ€œOh, donโ€™t I?โ€ he fumed. โ€œNo. You donโ€™t.โ€

He glowered at me and started to speak, but I cut him off.

โ€œIf you really believed that youโ€™d lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didnโ€™tโ€”you said โ€˜Amazing. Carlisle was right,โ€™โ€ I reminded him, triumphant. โ€œThereโ€™s hope in you, after all.โ€

For once, Edward was speechless.

โ€œSo letโ€™s both just be hopeful, all right?โ€ I suggested. โ€œNot that it matters. If you stay, I donโ€™t need heaven.โ€

He got up slowly, and came to put his hands on either side of my face as he stared into my eyes. โ€œForever,โ€ he vowed, still a little staggered.

โ€œThatโ€™s all Iโ€™m asking for,โ€ I said, and stretched up on my toes so that I could press my lips to his.

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