HE WAS NOT PLEASED, THAT MUCH WAS EASY TO READ IN his
face. But, without further argument, he took me in his arms and sprang lithely from my window, landing without the slightest jolt, like a cat. Itย wasย a little bit farther down than Iโd imagined.
โAll right then,โ he said, his voice seething with disapproval. โUp you go.โ
He helped me onto his back, and took off running. Even after all this time, it felt routine. Easy. Evidently this was something you never forgot, like riding a bicycle.
It was so very quiet and dark as he ran through the forest, his breathing slow and evenโdark enough that the trees flying past us were nearly invisible, and only the rush of air in my face truly gave away our speed. The air was damp; it didnโt burn my eyes the way the wind in the big plaza had, and that was comforting. As was the night, too, after that terrifying brightness. Like the thick quilt Iโd played under as a child, the dark felt familiar and protecting.
I remembered that running through the forest like this used to frighten me, that I used to have to close my eyes. It seemed a silly reaction to me now. I kept my eyes wide, my chin resting on his shoulder, my cheek against his neck. The speed was exhilarating. A hundred times better than the motorcycle.
I turned my face toward him and pressed my lips into the cold stone skin of his neck.
โThank you,โ he said, as the vague, black shapes of trees raced past us. โDoes that mean youโve decided youโre awake?โ
I laughed. The sound was easy, natural, effortless. It soundedย right. โNot really. More that, either way, Iโm not trying to wake up. Not tonight.โ
โIโll earn your trust back somehow,โ he murmured, mostly to himself. โIf itโs my final act.โ
โI trustย you,โ I assured him. โItโs me I donโt trust.โ โExplain that, please.โ
Heโd slowed to a walkโI could only tell because the wind ceasedโand I guessed that we werenโt far from the house. In fact, I thought I could make out the sound of the river rushing somewhere close by in the darkness.
โWellโโ I struggled to find the right way to phrase it. โI donโt trust myself to be…enough. To deserve you. Thereโs nothing about me that couldย holdย you.โ
He stopped and reached around to pull me from his back. His gentle hands did not release me; after heโd set me on my feet again, he wrapped his arms tightly around me, hugging me to his chest.
โYour hold is permanent and unbreakable,โ he whispered. โNever doubt that.โ
But how could I not?
โYou never did tell me…,โ he murmured. โWhat?โ
โWhat your greatest problem is.โ
โIโll give you one guess.โ I sighed, and reached up to touch the tip of his nose with my index finger.
He nodded. โIโm worse than the Volturi,โ he said grimly. โI guess Iโve earned that.โ
I rolled my eyes. โThe worst the Volturi can do is kill me.โ He waited with tense eyes.
โYou can leave me,โ I explained. โThe Volturi, Victoria…theyโre nothing compared to that.โ
Even in the darkness, I could see the anguish twist his faceโit reminded me of his expression under Janeโs torturing gaze; I felt sick, and regretted speaking the truth.
โDonโt,โ I whispered, touching his face. โDonโt be sad.โ
He pulled one corner of his mouth up halfheartedly, but the expression didnโt touch his eyes. โIf there was only some way to make you see that I
canโtย leave you,โ he whispered. โTime, I suppose, will be the way to convince you.โ
I liked the idea of time. โOkay,โ I agreed.
His face was still tormented. I tried to distract him with inconsequentials.
โSoโsince youโre staying. Can I have my stuff back?โ I asked, making my tone as light as I could manage.
My attempt worked, to an extent: he laughed. But his eyes retained the misery. โYour things were never gone,โ he told me. โI knew it was wrong, since I promised you peace without reminders. It was stupid and childish, but I wanted to leave something of myself with you. The CD, the pictures, the ticketsโtheyโre all under your floorboards.โ
โReally?โ
He nodded, seeming slightly cheered by my obvious pleasure in this trivial fact. It wasnโt enough to heal the pain in his face completely.
โI think,โ I said slowly, โIโm not sure, but I wonder… I think maybe I knew it the whole time.โ
โWhat did you know?โ
I only wanted to take away the agony in his eyes, but as I spoke the words, they sounded truer than I expected they would.
โSome part of me, my subconscious maybe, never stopped believing that you still cared whether I lived or died. Thatโs probably why I was hearing the voices.โ
There was a very deep silence for a moment. โVoices?โ he asked flatly. โWell, just one voice. Yours. Itโs a long story.โ The wary look on his
face made me wish that I hadnโt brought that up. Would he think I was crazy, like everyone else? Was everyone else right about that? But at least that expressionโthe one that made him look like something was burning himโfaded.
โIโve got time.โ His voice was unnaturally even. โItโs pretty pathetic.โ
He waited.
I wasnโt sure how to explain. โDo you remember what Alice said about extreme sports?โ
He spoke the words without inflection or emphasis. โYou jumped off a cliff for fun.โ
โEr, right. And before that, with the motorcycleโโ โMotorcycle?โ he asked. I knew his voice well enough to hear
something brewing behind the calm.
โI guess I didnโt tell Alice about that part.โ โNo.โ
โWell, about that…See, I found that…when I was doing something dangerous or stupid…I could remember you more clearly,โ I confessed, feeling completely mental. โI could remember how your voice sounded when you were angry. I could hear it, like you were standing right there next to me. Mostly I tried not to think about you, but this didnโt hurt so muchโit was like you were protecting me again. Like you didnโt want me to be hurt.
โAnd, well, I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because, underneath it all, I always knew that you hadnโt stopped loving me.โ
Again, as I spoke, the words brought with them a sense of conviction.
Of rightness. Some deep place inside me recognized truth.
His words came out half-strangled. โYou…were…risking your life…to hearโโ
โShh,โ I interrupted him. โHold on a second. I think Iโm having an epiphany here.โ
I thought of that night in Port Angeles when Iโd had my first delusion.
Iโd come up with two options. Insanity or wish fulfillment. Iโd seen no third option.
But what if…
What if you sincerely believed something was true, but you were dead wrong? What if you were so stubbornly sure that you were right, that you wouldnโt even consider the truth? Would the truth be silenced, or would it try to break through?
Option three: Edward loved me. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than me he might be,he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so would he always be mine.
Was that what Iโd been trying to tell myself? โOh!โ
โBella?โ
โOh. Okay. I see.โ
โYour epiphany?โ he asked, his voice uneven and strained.
โYou love me,โ I marveled. The sense of conviction and rightness washed through me again.
Though his eyes were still anxious, the crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face. โTruly, I do.โ
My heart inflated like it was going to crack right through my ribs. It filled my chest and blocked my throat so that I could not speak.
He really did want me the way I wanted himโforever. Itย wasย only fear for my soul, for the human things he didnโt want to take from me, that made him so desperate to leave me mortal. Compared to the fear that he didnโt want me, this hurdleโmy soulโseemed almost insignificant.
He took my face tightly between his cool hands and kissed me until I was so dizzy the forest was spinning. Then he leaned his forehead against mine, and I was not the only one breathing harder than usual.
โYou were better at it than I was, you know,โ he told me. โBetter at what?โ
โSurviving. You, at least, made an effort. You got up in the morning, tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your life. When I wasnโt actively tracking, I was…totally useless. I couldnโt be around my familyโI couldnโt be around anyone. Iโm embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me.โ He grinned, sheepish. โIt was much more pathetic than hearing voices. And, of course, you know I do that, too.โ
I was deeply relieved that he really seemed to understandโcomforted that this all made sense to him. At any rate, he wasnโt looking at me like I was crazy. He was looking at me like…he loved me.
โI only heard one voice,โ I corrected him.
He laughed and then pulled me tight against his right side and started to lead me forward.
โIโm just humoring you with this.โ He motioned broadly with his hand toward the darkness in front of us as we walked. There was something pale and immense thereโthe house, I realized. โIt doesnโt matter in the slightest what they say.โ
โThis affects them now, too.โ
He shrugged indifferently.
He led me through the open front door into the dark house and flipped the lights on. The room was just as Iโd remembered itโthe piano and the white couches and the pale, massive staircase. No dust, no white sheets.
Edward called out the names with no more volume than Iโd use in regular conversation. โCarlisle? Esme? Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Alice?โ They would hear.
Carlisle was suddenly standing beside me, as if heโd been there all along. โWelcome back, Bella.โ He smiled. โWhat can we do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?โ
I nodded. โIโd like to talk to everyone at once, if thatโs okay. About something important.โ
I couldnโt help glancing up at Edwardโs face as I spoke. His expression was critical, but resigned. When I looked back to Carlisle, he was looking at Edward, too.
โOf course,โ Carlisle said. โWhy donโt we talk in the other room?โ
Carlisle led the way through the bright living room, around the corner to the dining room, turning on lights as he went. The walls were white, the ceilings high, like the living room. In the center of the room, under the low- hanging chandelier, was a large, polished oval table surrounded by eight chairs. Carlisle held out a chair for me at the head.
Iโd never seen the Cullens use the dining room table beforeโit was just a prop. They didnโt eat in the house.
As soon as I turned to sit in the chair, I saw that we were not alone.
Esme had followed Edward, and behind her the rest of the family filed in.
Carlisle sat down on my right, and Edward on my left. Everyone else took their seats in silence. Alice was grinning at me, already in on the plot. Emmett and Jasper looked curious, and Rosalie smiled at me tentatively.
My answering smile was just as timid. That was going to take some getting used to.
Carlisle nodded toward me. โThe floor is yours.โ
I swallowed. Their gazing eyes made me nervous. Edward took my hand under the table. I peeked at him, but he was watching the others, his face suddenly fierce.
โWell,โ I paused. โIโm hoping Alice has already told you everything that happened in Volterra?โ
โEverything,โ Alice assured me.
I threw her a meaningful look. โAnd on the way?โ โThat, too,โ she nodded.
โGood,โ I sighed with relief. โThen weโre all on the same page.โ They waited patiently while I tried to order my thoughts.
โSo, I have a problem,โ I began. โAlice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you. Theyโre going to send someone to check, and Iโm sure thatโs a bad thingโsomething to avoid.
โAnd so, now, this involves you all. Iโm sorry about that.โ I looked at each one of their beautiful faces, saving the most beautiful for last.
Edwardโs mouth was turned down into a grimace. โBut, if you donโt want me, then Iโm not going to force myself on you, whether Alice is willing or not.โ
Esme opened her mouth to speak, but I held up one finger to stop her. โPlease, let me finish. You all know what I want. And Iโm sure you
know what Edward thinks, too. I think the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote. If you decide you donโt want me, then…I guess Iโll go back to Italy alone. I canโt haveย themย comingย here.โ My forehead creased as I considered that.
There was the faint rumble of a growl in Edwardโs chest. I ignored him. โTaking into account, then, that I wonโt put any of you in danger either
way, I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire.โ I half-smiled on the last word, and gestured toward Carlisle to begin. โJust a minute,โ Edward interrupted.
I glared at him through narrowed eyes. He raised his eyebrows at me, squeezing my hand.
โI have something to add before we vote.โ I sighed.
โAbout the danger Bellaโs referring to,โ he continued. โI donโt think we need to be overly anxious.โ
His expression became more animated. He put his free hand on the shining table and leaned forward.
โYou see,โ he explained, looking around the table while he spoke, โthere was more than one reason why I didnโt want to shake Aroโs hand there at the end. Thereโs something they didnโt think of, and I didnโt want to clue them in.โ He grinned.
โWhich was?โ Alice prodded. I was sure my expression was just as skeptical as hers.
โThe Volturi are overconfident, and with good reason. When they decide to find someone, itโs not really a problem. Do you remember Demetri?โ He glanced down at me.
I shuddered. He took that as a yes.
โHe finds peopleโthatโs his talent, why they keep him.
โNow, the whole time we were with any of them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible. So I saw how Demetriโs talent works. Heโs a trackerโa tracker a thousand times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the…flavor? I donโt know how to describe it…the tenor…of someoneโs mind, and then he follows that. It works over immense distances.
โBut after Aroโs little experiments, well . . .โ Edward shrugged. โYou think he wonโt be able to find me,โ I said flatly.
He was smug. โIโm sure of it. He relies totally on that other sense.
When it doesnโt work with you, theyโll all be blind.โ โAnd how does that solve anything?โ
โQuite obviously, Alice will be able to tell when theyโre planning a visit, and Iโll hide you. Theyโll be helpless,โ he said with fierce enjoyment. โIt will be like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack!โ
He and Emmett exchanged a glance and a smirk.
This made no sense. โBut they can find you,โ I reminded him. โAnd I can take care of myself.โ
Emmett laughed, and reached across the table toward his brother, extending a fist.
โExcellent plan, my brother,โ he said with enthusiasm.
Edward stretched out his arm to smack Emmettโs fist with his own. โNo,โ Rosalie hissed.
โAbsolutely not,โ I agreed.
โNice.โ Jasperโs voice was appreciative. โIdiots,โ Alice muttered.
Esme just glared at Edward.
I straightened up in my chair, focusing. This wasย myย meeting.
โAll right, then. Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider,โ I said coolly. โLetโs vote.โ
I looked toward Edward this time; it would be better to get his opinion out of the way. โDo you want me to join your family?โ
His eyes were hard and black as flint. โNot that way. Youโre staying human.โ
I nodded once, keeping my face businesslike, and then moved on. โAlice?โ
โYes.โ
โJasper?โ
โYes,โ he said, voice grave. I was a little surprisedโI hadnโt been at all sure of his voteโbut I suppressed my reaction and moved on.
โRosalie?โ
She hesitated, biting down on her full, perfect bottom lip. โNo.โ
I kept my face blank and turned my head slightly to move on, but she held up both her hands, palms forward.
โLet me explain,โ she pleaded. โI donโt mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister. Itโs just that…this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me.โ
I nodded slowly, and then turned to Emmett.
โHell, yes!โ He grinned. โWe can find some other way to pick a fight with this Demetri.โ
I was still grimacing at that when I looked at Esme.
โYes, of course, Bella. I already think of you as part of my family.โ โThank you, Esme,โ I murmured as I turned toward Carlisle.
I was suddenly nervous, wishing I had asked for his vote first. I was sure that this was the vote that mattered most, the vote that counted more than any majority.
Carlisle wasnโt looking at me. โEdward,โ he said.
โNo,โ Edward growled. His jaw was strained tight, his lips curled back from his teeth.
โItโs the only way that makes sense,โ Carlisle insisted. โYouโve chosen not to live without her, and that doesnโt leave me a choice.โ
Edward dropped my hand, shoving away from the table. He stalked out of the room, snarling under his breath.
โI guess you know my vote.โ Carlisle sighed.
I was still staring after Edward. โThanks,โ I mumbled. An earsplitting crash echoed from the other room.
I flinched, and spoke quickly. โThatโs all I needed. Thank you. For wanting to keep me. I feel exactly the same way about all of you, too.โ My voice was jagged with emotion by the end.
Esme was at my side in a flash, her cold arms around me. โDearest Bella,โ she breathed.
I hugged her back. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Rosalie looking down at the table, and I realized that my words could be construed in two ways.
โWell, Alice,โ I said when Esme released me. โWhere do you want to do this?โ
Alice stared at me, her eyes widening with terror.
โNo!ย No! NO!โ Edward roared, charging back into the room. He was in my face before I had time to blink, bending over me, his expression twisted in rage. โAre you insane?โ he shouted. โHave you utterly lost your mind?โ
I cringed away, my hands over my ears.
โUm, Bella,โ Alice interjected in an anxious voice. โI donโt think Iโm
readyย for that. Iโll need to prepare. โ
โYou promised,โ I reminded her, glaring under Edwardโs arm.
โI know, but. Seriously, Bella! I donโt have any idea how toย notย kill
you.โ
โYou can do it,โ I encouraged. โI trust you.โ Edward snarled in fury.
Alice shook her head quickly, looking panicked. โCarlisle?โ I turned to look at him.
Edward grabbed my face in his hand, forcing me to look at him. His other hand was out, palm toward Carlisle.
Carlisle ignored that. โIโm able to do it,โ he answered my question. I wished I could see his expression. โYou would be in no danger of me losing control.โ
โSounds good.โ I hoped he could understand; it was hard to talk clearly the way Edward held my jaw.
โHold on,โ Edward said between his teeth. โIt doesnโt have to be now.โ
โThereโs no reason for it not to be now,โ I said, the words coming out distorted.
โI can think of a few.โ
โOf course you can,โ I said sourly. โNow let go of me.โ
He freed my face, and folded his arms across his chest. โIn about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldnโt put it past him to involve the police.โ
โAll three of them.โ But I frowned.
This was always the hardest part. Charlie, Renรฉe. Now Jacob, too. The people I would lose, the people I would hurt. I wished there was some way that I could be the only one to suffer, but I knew that was impossible.
At the same time, I was hurting them more by staying human. Putting Charlie in constant danger through my proximity. Putting Jake in worse danger still by drawing his enemies across the land he felt bound to protect. And RenรฉeโI couldnโt even risk a visit to see my own mother for fear of bringing my deadly problems along with me!
I was a danger magnet; Iโd accepted that about myself.
Accepting this, I knew I needed to be able to take care of myself and protect the ones I loved, even if that meant that I couldnโt beย withย them. I needed to be strong.
โIn the interest of remainingย inconspicuous,โ Edward said, still talking through his gritted teeth, but looking at Carlisle now, โI suggest that we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlieโs house.โ
โThatโs a reasonable request, Bella,โ Carlisle pointed out.
I thought about Charlieโs reaction when he woke up this morning, ifโ after all that life had put him through in the last week with Harryโs loss, and thenย Iย had put him through with my unexplained disappearanceโhe were to find my bed empty. Charlie deserved better than that. It was just a little more time; graduation wasnโt so far away…
I pursed my lips. โIโll consider it.โ Edward relaxed. His jaw unclenched.
โI should probably take you home,โ he said, more calm now, but clearly in a hurry to get me out of here. โJust in case Charlie wakes up early.โ
I looked at Carlisle. โAfter graduation?โ โYou have my word.โ
I took a deep breath, smiled, and turned back to Edward. โOkay. You can take me home.โ
Edward rushed me out of the house before Carlisle could promise me anything else. He took me out the back, so I didnโt get to see what was broken in the living room.
It was a quiet trip home. I was feeling triumphant, and a little smug.
Scared stiff, too, of course, but I tried not to think about that part. It did me no good to worry about the painโthe physical or the emotionalโso I wouldnโt. Not until I absolutely had to.
When we got to my house, Edward didnโt pause. He dashed up the wall and through my window in half a second. Then he pulled my arms from around his neck and set me on the bed.
I thought I had a pretty good idea of what he was thinking, but his expression surprised me. Instead of furious, it was calculating. He paced silently back and forth across my dark room while I watched with growing suspicion.
โWhatever youโre planning, itโs not going to work,โ I told him. โShh. Iโm thinking.โ
โUgh,โ I groaned, throwing myself back on the bed and pulling the quilt over my head.
There was no sound, but suddenly he was there. He flipped the cover back so he could see me. He was lying next to me. His hand reached up to brush my hair from my cheek.
โIf you donโt mind, Iโd much rather you didnโt hide your face. Iโve lived without it for as long as I can stand. Now…tell me something.โ
โWhat?โ I asked, unwilling.
โIf you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?โ
I could feel the skepticism in my eyes. โYou.โ
He shook his head impatiently. โSomething you donโt already have.โ
I wasnโt sure where he was trying to lead me, so I thought carefully before I answered. I came up with something that was both true, and also probably impossible.
โI would want…Carlisle not to have to do it. I would wantย youย to change me.โ
I watched his reaction warily, expecting more of the fury Iโd seen at his house. I was surprised that his expression didnโt change. It was still calculating, thoughtful.
โWhat would you be willing to trade for that?โ
I couldnโt believe my ears. I gawked at his composed face and blurted out the answer before I could think about it.
โAnything.โ
He smiled faintly, and then pursed his lips. โFive years?โ
My face twisted into an expression somewhere between chagrin and horror.
โYou said anything,โ he reminded me.
โYes, but…youโll use the time to find a way out of it. I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, itโs just too dangerous to be humanโfor me, at least. So, anything butย that.โ
He frowned. โThree years?โ โNo!โ
โIsnโt it worth anything to you at all?โ
I thought about how much I wanted this. Better to keep a poker face, I decided, and not let him know howย veryย much that was. It would give me more leverage. โSix months?โ
He rolled his eyes. โNot good enough.โ โOne year, then,โ I said. โThatโs my limit.โ โAt least give me two.โ
โNo way. Nineteen Iโll do. But Iโm not going anywhereย nearย twenty. If youโre staying in your teens forever, then so am I.โ
He thought for a minute. โAll right. Forget time limits. If you want me to be the oneโthen youโll just have to meet one condition.โ
โCondition?โ My voice went flat. โWhat condition?โ
His eyes were cautiousโhe spoke slowly. โMarry me first.โ I stared at him, waiting. โOkay. Whatโs the punch line?โ
He sighed. โYouโre wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think itโs a joke.โ
โEdward, please be serious.โ
โI am one hundred percent serious.โ He gazed at me with no hint of humor in his face.
โOh, cโmon,โ I said, an edge of hysteria in my voice. โIโm only eighteen.โ
โWell, Iโm nearly a hundred and ten. Itโs time I settled down.โ
I looked away, out the dark window, trying to control the panic before it gave me away.
โLook, marriage isnโt exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know? It was sort of the kiss of death for Renรฉe and Charlie.โ
โInteresting choice of words.โ โYou know what I mean.โ
He inhaled deeply. โPlease donโt tell me that youโre afraid of the commitment,โ his voice was disbelieving, and I understood what he meant.
โThatโs not it exactly,โ I hedged. โIโm…afraid of Renรฉe. She has some really intense opinions on getting married before youโre thirty.โ
โBecause sheโd rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married.โ He laughed darkly.
โYou think youโre joking.โ
โBella, if you compare the level of commitment between a marital union as opposed to bartering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire . . .โ He shook his head. โIf youโre not brave enough to marry me, thenโโ
โWell,โ I interrupted. โWhat if I did? What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?โ
He smiled, his teeth flashing in the dark. โSure,โ he said, calling my bluff. โIโll get my car.โ
โDammit.โ I muttered. โIโll give you eighteen months.โ โNo deal,โ he said, grinning. โI likeย thisย condition.โ โFine. Iโll have Carlisle do it when I graduate.โ
โIf thatโs what you really want.โ He shrugged, and his smile became absolutely angelic.
โYouโre impossible,โ I groaned. โA monster.โ
He chuckled. โIs that why you wonโt marry me?โ I groaned again.
He leaned toward me; his night-dark eyes melted and smoldered and shattered my concentration. โPlease, Bella?โ he breathed.
I forgot how to breathe for a moment. When I recovered, I shook my head quickly, trying to clear my suddenly clouded mind.
โWould this have gone better if Iโd had time to get a ring?โ โNo! No rings!โ I very nearly shouted.
โNow youโve done it,โ he whispered. โOops.โ
โCharlieโs getting up; Iโd better leave,โ Edward said with resignation. My heart stopped beating.
He gauged my expression for a second. โWould it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?โ
โNo,โ I whispered eagerly. โStay. Please.โ Edward smiled and disappeared.
I seethed in the darkness as I waited for Charlie to check on me. Edward knew exactly what he was doing, and I was willing to bet that all the injured surprise was part of the ploy. Of course, I still had the Carlisle option, but now that I knew there was a chance that Edward would change me himself, I wanted it bad. He was such a cheater.
My door cracked open. โMorning, Dad.โ
โOh, hey, Bella.โ He sounded embarrassed at getting caught. โI didnโt know you were awake.โ
โYeah. Iโve just been waiting for you to wake up so I could take a shower.โ I started to get up.
โHold on,โ Charlie said, flipping the light on. I blinked in the sudden brightness, and carefully kept my eyes away from the closet. โLetโs talk for a minute first.โ
I couldnโt control my grimace. Iโd forgotten to ask Alice for a good excuse.
โYou know youโre in trouble.โ โYeah, I know.โ
โI just about went crazy these last three days. I come home from Harryโsย funeral, and youโre gone. Jacob could only tell me that youโd run off with Alice Cullen, and that he thought you were in trouble. You didnโt leave me a number, and you didnโt call. I didnโt know where you were or whenโor if
โyou were coming back. Do you have any idea how…how . . .โ He couldnโt finish the sentence. He sucked in a sharp breath and moved on. โCan you give me one reason why I shouldnโt ship you off to Jacksonville this second?โ
My eyes narrowed. So it was going to be threats, was it? Two could play at that game. I sat up, pulling the quilt around me. โBecause I wonโt go.โ
โNow just one minute, young ladyโโ
โLook, Dad, I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want. I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think Iโve learned my lesson. And I guess youโre within your rights if you want to kick me out, tooโbut that wonโt make me to go to Florida.โ
His face turned bright red. He took a few deep breaths before he answered.
โWould you like to explain where youโve been?โ Oh, crap. โThere was…an emergency.โ
He raised his eyebrows in expectation of my brilliant explanation.
I filled my cheeks with air and then blew it out noisily. โI donโt know what to tell you, Dad. It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand.โ
He waited with a distrustful expression.
โSee, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping off the cliff. โ I was
scrambling frantically to make this work, to keep it as close to the truth as possible so that my inability to lie convincingly would not undermine the excuse, but before I could go on, Charlieโs expression reminded me that he didnโt know anything about the cliff.
Major oops. As if I wasnโt already toast.
โI guess I didnโt tell you about that,โ I choked out. โIt was nothing. Just messing around, swimming with Jake. Anyway, Rosalie told Edward, and he was upset. She sort of accidentally made it sound like I was trying to kill myself or something. He wouldnโt answer his phone, so Alice dragged me to. L.A., to explain in person.โ I shrugged, desperately hoping that he
would not be so distracted by my slip that heโd miss the brilliant explanation Iโd provided.
Charlieโs face was frozen. โWereย you trying to kill yourself, Bella?โ โNo, of course not. Just having fun with Jake. Cliff diving. The La Push
kids do it all the time. Like I said, nothing.โ
Charlieโs face heated upโfrom frozen to hot with fury. โWhatโs it to Edward Cullen anyway?โ he barked. โAll this time, heโs just left you dangling without a wordโโ
I interrupted him. โAnother misunderstanding.โ His face flushed again. โSo is he back then?โ
โIโm not sure what the exact plan is. Iย thinkย they all are.โ
He shook his head, the vein in his forehead pulsing. โI want you to stay away from him, Bella. I donโt trust him. Heโs rotten for you. I wonโt let him mess you up like that again.โ
โFine,โ I said curtly.
Charlie rocked back onto his heels. โOh.โ He scrambled for a second, exhaling loudly in surprise. โI thought you were going to be difficult.โ
โI am.โ I stared straight into his eyes. โI meant, โFine, Iโll move out.โโ
His eyes bulged; his face turned puce. My resolve wavered as I started to worry about his health. He was no younger than Harry….
โDad, I donโtย wantย to move out,โ I said in a softer tone. โI love you. I know youโre worried, but you need to trust me on this. And youโre going to have to ease up on Edward if you want me to stay. Do you want me to live here or not?โ
โThatโs not fair, Bella. You know I want you to stay.โ
โThen be nice to Edward, because heโs going to be where I am.โ I said it with confidence. The conviction of my epiphany was still strong.
โNot under my roof,โ Charlie stormed.
I sighed a heavy sigh. โLook, Iโm not going to give you any more ultimatums tonightโor I guess itโs this morning. Just think about it for a few days, okay? But keep in mind that Edward and I are sort of a package deal.โ
โBellaโโ
โThink it over,โ I insisted. โAnd while youโre doing that, could you give me some privacy? Iย reallyย need a shower.โ
Charlieโs face was a strange shade of purple, but he left, slamming the door behind him. I heard him stomp furiously down the stairs.
I threw off my quilt, and Edward was already there, sitting in the rocking chair as if heโd been present through the whole conversation.
โSorry about that,โ I whispered.
โItโs not as if I donโt deserve far worse,โ he murmured. โDonโt start anything with Charlie over me, please.โ
โDonโt worry about it,โ I breathed as I gathered up my bathroom things and a set of clean clothes. โI will start exactly as much as is necessary, and
no more than that. Or are you trying to tell me I have nowhere to go?โ I widened my eyes with false alarm.
โYouโd move in with a house full of vampires?โ
โThatโs probably the safest place for someone like me. Besides . . .โ I grinned. โIf Charlie kicks me out, then thereโs no need for a graduation deadline, is there?โ
His jaw tightened. โSo eager for eternal damnation,โ he muttered. โYou know you donโt really believe that.โ
โOh, donโt I?โ he fumed. โNo. You donโt.โ
He glowered at me and started to speak, but I cut him off.
โIf you really believed that youโd lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didnโtโyou said โAmazing. Carlisle was right,โโ I reminded him, triumphant. โThereโs hope in you, after all.โ
For once, Edward was speechless.
โSo letโs both just be hopeful, all right?โ I suggested. โNot that it matters. If you stay, I donโt need heaven.โ
He got up slowly, and came to put his hands on either side of my face as he stared into my eyes. โForever,โ he vowed, still a little staggered.
โThatโs all Iโm asking for,โ I said, and stretched up on my toes so that I could press my lips to his.