Three solid weeks.
Twenty-one nights.
Over thirty times we’ve had s*x. Absolutely zero interaction during the day.
I don’t really understand her. I don’t know her well enough to know what sets her off or, in turn, what makes her so quiet. I don’t know why she refuses to treat what’s going on between us like it’s anything remotely significant, but I’m not complaining. I mean, come on. We have s*x every night and I don’t have to dote on her during the day. I would have the perfect setup if I didn’t want just a little bit more from her. But until I can get to another level with Bridgette, I know nothing better come in between us. Especially a new roommate, which is what I’m afraid might happen. Brennan has officially gone on tour and moved out, which means his room is now up for grabs. I can’t take the idea of Bridgette’s sister moving in, which is something I’ve heard them discussing on the phone. I don’t know what or whom Ridge has in mind, but I for sure don’t think I can take the possibility of another guy moving in. As much as I want to pretend I’m as casual with this arrangement as Bridgette is, if another guy even looks at her ass in those shorts, I won’t be able to refrain from beating his ass. And I’m not even the type of guy who fights other guys, but Bridgette makes me want to fight everyone. Even the nerdy guys. I’ll hit all the humans if it means keeping up the arrangement I’ve got going with her.
Which is why I can’t stop staring at the couch right now. There’s a person on it. I think it’s a girl, because I see blond hair peeking out from under the pillow pulled over her face, but it could be a long-
haired guy. A guy I don’t want to be our next roommate. I continue to watch the couch, waiting for the person to wake up. I’m loud enough in the kitchen to wake up the whole apartment, but whoever is on this couch is sleeping like a rock.
I finish pouring my bowl of cereal and bring it into the living room. Since whoever this is has decided to take up residence where I eat breakfast, I take a seat on the floor, right in front of the couch. I begin eating, crunching as loud as I can.
I wonder if she or he is a friend of Bridgette’s.
No, Bridgette didn’t bring anyone home last night. I know this because I picked her up after I got off work and we came straight home and went straight to my bed. Come to think of it, we didn’t even turn on the living room lights, so I’m pretty sure whoever this is was probably on the couch last night, we just didn’t notice.
Oh, man. I wonder if we were loud? We never have to worry about how loud we are when Ridge is home.
A groan comes from beneath the pillow and the body rolls over, facing me so I can see it is, in fact, a girl. I continue to sit on the floor, eating my cereal. I watch her attempt to open her eyes.
“Who are you and why are you asleep on my couch?” I finally ask her.
Her whole body jerks at the sound of my voice. She lifts the pillow and backs away, making eye contact with me. I have to stifle a laugh, because someone has written Someone wrote on your forehead on her face with a Sharpie.
It was more than likely Ridge, so I do what I can to avoid looking at it and stare at her eyes instead.
“Are you the new roommate?” I say with a mouthful of cereal. She shakes her head. “No,” she says. “I’m a friend of Ridge’s.” Hmmm. Didn’t see that one coming.
“Ridge only has one friend. Me.”
She rolls her eyes and sits up on the couch. She’s cute. Very impressive, Ridge.
“Jealous?” she asks, stretching into a yawn. “What’s his last name?”
“Whose last name?”
“Your very good friend, Ridge.”
She sighs and her head falls against the back of the couch. “I don’t know Ridge’s last name,” she says. “I don’t even know his middle name. The only thing I know about him is he’s got a mean right hook. And I’m only asleep on your couch because my boyfriend of two years decided it would be fun to screw my roommate and I really didn’t want to stick around to watch.”
I like this girl. She could give Bridgette a run for her money. And I don’t mean with me, I just mean because Bridgette is mean and probably doesn’t meet a lot of girls who would stand up to her. This could be fun. “It’s Lawson,” I say. “And he doesn’t have a middle name.”
I hear Bridgette’s bedroom door open and I immediately turn around to face her. She’s still wearing my boxer shorts from last night, but she’s put her own T-shirt over them. God, she looks good. “Good morning, Bridgette. Sleep well?”
She looks at me briefly and rolls her eyes. “Screw you, Warren.” Which, in Bridgette speak means, Yes, Warren. I slept like a baby,
thanks to you.
“That’s Bridgette,” I whisper, turning back to the girl on the couch. “She pretends to hate me during the day, but at night she loves me.”
The girl laughs and makes a face like she doesn’t believe me. “Shit!” Bridgette yells. I turn around in time to watch her catch
herself by grabbing the bar. “Jesus Christ!” She kicks one of the suitcases that are still on the floor next to the bar. “Tell your little friend if she’s staying here she needs to take her shit to her room!”
My little friend? I turn to face the girl on the couch again, wide- eyed. I think Bridgette already has an issue with this girl. All the more reason to make sure she becomes the new roommate, because I like an angry Bridgette. I’m also willing to bet a jealous Bridgette will be a lot more clingy, which could work in my favor. I turn and glare at Bridgette from where I’m seated. “What am I, your bitch? Tell her yourself.”
Bridgette glances at the girl on the couch, then points to the suitcase she almost tripped over. “GET . . . YOUR . . . SHIT . . . OUT . . . OF . . . THE . . . KITCHEN!” She says before marching back to her bedroom.
I slowly turn my head to face the girl again. “Why does she think you’re deaf?”
She shrugs. “I have no idea. She came to that conclusion last night and I failed to correct her.”
I laugh. What a perfect prank, and I didn’t even have to think of it. “Oh, this is classic,” I say to her. “Do you have any pets?”
She shakes her head.
“Are you opposed to porn?”
“Not opposed to the principle of porn, but slightly opposed to being featured in one.” I nod, because that’s probably a good thing. At least I won’t have double the reason to watch every porn I can get my hands on.
“Do you have annoying friends?”
“My best friend is a backstabbing whore and I’m no longer speaking to her.”
“What are your showering habits?”
She laughs. “Once a day, with a skipped day every now and then.
No more than fifteen minutes.” “Do you cook?”
“Only when I’m hungry.”
“Do you clean up after yourself?”
“Probably better than you,” she says, glancing at my shirt, which I’ve used for a napkin several times during this conversation.
“Do you listen to disco?” “I’d rather eat barbed wire.” She’s perfect for us.
“Alright, then,” I tell her. “I guess you can stay.”
She sits up straighter and pulls her legs onto the couch. “I didn’t realize I was being interviewed.”
I look at her suitcase and then back at her. Most people don’t travel with all of their belongings, and if she’s in search of somewhere to live, I want it to be here so I can ensure the new roommate doesn’t have a dick. “It’s obvious you need a place to stay, and we’ve got an empty room. If you don’t take it, Bridgette wants to move her sister in next month and that’s the last thing Ridge and I need.”
“I can’t stay here,” she says, shaking her head.
“Why not? From the sound of it, you’re about to spend the day searching for an apartment anyway. What’s wrong with this one? You won’t even have to walk very far to get here.”
The door to Ridge’s bedroom opens and I can see the girl’s eyes widen slightly, as if she’s nervous. That’s probably not a good sign for Ridge, but he’s so hung up on Maggie, adding this chick as a roommate shouldn’t be an issue for any of us. I wink at her and stand up to walk my bowl back to the kitchen. I speak and sign at the same time. “Have you met our new roommate?”
Ridge glances at her and then looks back at me. “Yeah,” he signs. “She needs a place to stay, so I’ll probably just let her use Brennan’s room. Or if you want, she can take your room and you can take Brennan’s, so we both aren’t having to share a bathroom with girls.”
I shake my head. “No way are you putting me further away from Bridgette. Our bathroom s*x is my favorite.”
Ridge shakes his head. “You’re pathetic.” He walks back to his room and I look at our new roommate.
“What did he say?” she asks, nervously.
“Exactly what I thought he’d say,” I tell her. I walk to my room and grab my keys off the dresser. I glance into the bathroom and see Bridgette at the sink. I swing the door open and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. She tries to pull away from me, but I also see the smile tugging at her lips.
My eyes fall to the black Sharpie sitting next to the sink. I pick it up and eye Bridgette suspiciously. She shrugs her shoulders and I laugh. I didn’t think she had it in her, but after the water cup prank and now this, I fear I might have met my match. At least the new
roommate is being hazed early.
I close the bathroom door and head back out into the living room. “He says you two already worked out a deal.” I point to Brennan’s old room. “Heading to work now. That’s your room if you want to put your stuff in it. You might have to throw all Brennan’s shit in the corner, though.” I open the door and step outside, but turn around before I close it. “Oh. What’s your name?”
“Sydney.”
“Well, Sydney. Welcome to the weirdest place you’ll ever live.”
I close the door behind me, feeling slightly guilty that I may have swayed this roommate thing a little in my favor. But seriously. Not only does this ensure our new roommate won’t be putting the moves on Bridgette, it also makes for an interesting dynamic. Two girls in a prank war may be the best thing that ever happened to Ridge and me.
