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Chapter no 39 – Dahlia

Love Redesigned

โ€œI

 

want to take you somewhere.โ€ Julian tugs on my hand.

โ€œNow?โ€ I check the empty living room. Josefina, Rafa, and Nico headed out ten minutes ago to see a movie together, while

Lily and my mom are busy finding a way to fit all the Thanksgiving leftovers in the fridge.

โ€œYes.โ€

I must not answer fast enough because he rushes to say, โ€œI have a surprise.โ€

โ€œWhat kind of surprise?โ€

โ€œTelling you would defeat calling it one.โ€ He leads me toward the front door, but before he opens it, he grabs my winter coat off the rack and helps me into it.

Itโ€™s the smallest gestures that send my heart into overdrive, like the way he wraps a scarf around my neck and fixes my hair without me asking.

Heโ€™s perfect.

Which makes him that much more dangerous. The more he takes care of me, the less confident I feel about our arrangement.

I peek into the empty living room. โ€œBut my momโ€”โ€

โ€œHas plans to spend the rest of the night catching up on a telenovela with your sister.โ€

โ€œIf youโ€™re trying to convince me to leave, youโ€™re doing a terrible job.โ€ โ€œItโ€™ll be worth the sacrifice. I swear.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s a big promise.โ€

His smile says he plans on delivering.

 

 

โ€œTonight wasโ€ฆnice,โ€ I say after the first song finishes playing.

Julian turns down the volume. โ€œI thought so, although your turkey was a little dry.โ€

I slap his shoulder. โ€œJerk! Youโ€™re the one who told me to keep it in the oven longer.โ€

โ€œI only said that so you had to keep bending over to check on it.โ€ I laugh until my lungs hurt.

โ€œI like it when you laugh like that,โ€ he says in that quiet, shy voice of

his.

A rush of warmth flows through my body, spreading all the way to my

toes.

โ€œBut I like it even more knowing Iโ€™m the reason behind it.โ€

Forget a rush of warmth. Julianโ€™s words are like an inferno, obliterating whatever ice I had left to protect my heart.

I become fascinated by the window. โ€œWhen you say things like thatโ€ฆโ€ โ€œWhat?โ€ he asks after a few moments of silence.

โ€œIt makes me feelย thingsย I shouldnโ€™t.โ€

โ€œAccording to whom?โ€ His question comes out sharper than a blade directed at my chest.

โ€œMe.โ€

โ€œBecause youโ€™re afraid?โ€ โ€œBecause Iโ€™m aย mess.โ€

He focuses on the road, giving me a side view of his jaw clenching. โ€œYouโ€™re many things, but a mess isnโ€™t one of them.โ€

My eyes drop to my lap. โ€œIโ€™ve only just started feeling like myself again.โ€ After fighting my way out of a mental fog, I donโ€™t want to sink back into that black hole.

Julian stays quiet, which emboldens me.

โ€œIโ€™ve been taking the right steps to get better. Therapy. Antidepressants. Exploring who I am post-breakup while forgiving the person I was before it.โ€

His grip on the steering wheel tightens. โ€œAnd how is that going?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m finally happy.โ€ I take a deep breath. โ€œSo freaking happy but also terrified that the feeling might disappear again, and then Iโ€™ll be sucked back into that dark place.โ€

โ€œIt could happen. You could slip back into another depression, and that isnโ€™t something you can control.โ€

โ€œI know.โ€ I fidget with my hands.

He reaches over and interlocks our fingers. โ€œBut that doesnโ€™t mean you have to go through that kind of feeling by yourself anymore.โ€ His hand squeezes mine.

โ€œIโ€™m afraid to depend on people.โ€

โ€œYour issue isnโ€™t depending on people but rather finding theย right

people to depend on.โ€

It takes me a good minute to wrap my head around that one. โ€œDid everyone see what I was clearly missing?โ€

โ€œNo, although I wish I had.โ€ His hold on my hand loosens, so I tighten my grip to stop him from slipping away.

โ€œYou wouldnโ€™t have known regardless.โ€ Keeping up false pretenses was a craft I honed over the years, making sure no one could see through the mask I held in place to shield my anxiety, insecurities, and relationship issues.

โ€œMaybe, maybe not. But I regret not owning up to my actions and trying to reconnect with you.โ€

No amount of deep breathing will save me from the ache in my chest. โ€œWe both need to let go of our regrets if we plan on moving forward.โ€

It takes him a full minute to say anything. โ€œI can do that.โ€ โ€œDo you thinkโ€ฆโ€ I bite down on my cheek.

He peeks at me out of the corner of his eye. โ€œDo I thinkย what?โ€

โ€œThat we could remain friends, even if I move back to San Francisco?โ€ โ€œIf?โ€ His fingers stop tapping against the steering wheel.

โ€œWhen.โ€ I power through the next sentence before I second-guess myself. โ€œOur families are so happy that weโ€™re all together, and Iโ€™d hate for

things to be strained again if we have a falling out or things get weird between us.โ€

โ€œIfย orย whenย you move back, I donโ€™t plan on letting things go back to the way they were before.โ€

My brain takes his statement and runs a marathon with it until Julian interrupts my overthinking power hour by stopping his truck at the intersection leading out of town. โ€œPut this on.โ€

I check out the silk eye mask. โ€œIs this surprise a kinky one?โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t take it off.โ€ His burning gaze is the last thing I see before he pushes the mask down, blocking my view.

My body trembles, a fact Julian notices based on his low chuckle.

The engine roars as he takes off again, driving for another twenty minutes before the car finally rolls to a stop.

โ€œWait here,โ€ he announces before climbing out of the car.

I have no idea what surprise Julian has planned, but I canโ€™t wait to find out.

He opens my door and helps me out. โ€œCan I take off the blindfold now?โ€

โ€œGive me a minute.โ€ He grips my elbow and leads me into the unknown. Funny how two months ago, I didnโ€™t trust him near me with both eyes open, yet now Iโ€™m willingly taking a blind leap of faith with him.

Gravel crunches beneath my boots as we walk uphill.

I strain my ears while searching for clues about our location. โ€œWhere are we?โ€

โ€œLake Aurora.โ€ โ€œWhy?โ€

โ€œYouโ€™ll see in a second.โ€

Iโ€™m not sure why Julian brought me out here, but anticipation bites at my heels. Lake Aurora was founded ten years after Lake Wisteria and was heavily influenced by London architecture. With houses of every color and rows of unique townhomes that stretch for miles, the town is a designerโ€™s dream.

After ten more steps, Julian holds true to his promise as he rips the eye mask off. I blink a few times, allowing my eyes to adjust before I take in the massive mansion in front of us. The Queen Anne-style matches the Founderโ€™s house style, although this one was kept in slightly better condition.

โ€œWhatโ€™s going on?โ€

He holds up a pair of keys. โ€œYou said you were bored.โ€ โ€œSo you bought me a house?โ€

โ€œI thought we could fix it.โ€ โ€œTogether?โ€

The slight tightening of his throat gives his nerves away.

โ€œWhat happened to destroying houses to build neighborhoods?โ€ I ask. โ€œI still plan on doing so.โ€

โ€œOh.โ€

โ€œBut unlike our town, Lake Aurora has plenty of land to spare without me needing to tear down historic homes in the expansion process.โ€

โ€œI like this plan more and more.โ€

The moon highlights the faint blush creeping up his cheeks. โ€œDo you want to check it out?โ€

Shy Julian might be my favorite Julian, especially when it comes with surprises like this.

I slip my hand into his and lock our fingers together. โ€œLetโ€™s go inside.โ€

The fresh scent of cleaning solution fills my nose as we walk into the house. The tightness in my chest becomes impossible to ignore as I consider Julian hiring someone to get the house ready for me to see it.

I catch him devouring my reactions like a ten-course meal as we walk through the perfect mansion.

A room full of empty shelves begging to be lined with books and accessories. A sunroom facing the lake and the surrounding tree line. Windows lining the whole back wall, allowing plenty of moonlight to stream inside.

With each room, I fall more in love with the property. Sure, it could use an interior designerโ€™s touch, but the bones are stunning, and the view of the

lake is a huge selling point.

โ€œI thought you didnโ€™t like restoring houses.โ€ I turn and find his eyes already focused on me.

โ€œThe Founderโ€™s house and Geraldโ€™s story may have changed my mind.โ€ โ€œOh, really?โ€

His Adamโ€™s apple bobs from how hard he swallows. โ€œAnd you.โ€ โ€œI did?โ€

โ€œYes.โ€

โ€œWho knew I was such a good influence?โ€

He wraps an arm around me and pulls me into his warm embrace. โ€œDo you like it?โ€

โ€œIย loveย it.โ€

โ€œGood, because youโ€™re in charge of it.โ€ โ€œMe?โ€

His right brow rises. โ€œI thought you wanted a challenge.โ€

โ€œThis isโ€ฆโ€ย Everything I could have dreamed up and more.

I blink hard and fast. โ€œWhatโ€™s your timeline?โ€

โ€œI was thinking the team could get started on demo next week.โ€ My brows jump. โ€œSo soon?โ€

He breaks eye contact. โ€œI donโ€™t want you to be bored here.โ€ โ€œWhy?โ€

He takes so long to answer, I almost give up waiting for one.

โ€œBecause I want to give you a hundred different reasons to stay.โ€

Wait. What?

โ€œJulian,โ€ I plead.

He holds my chin in a firm grip, cutting me off. โ€œI need to get this out.โ€ Instead of five deep breaths, he takes one long inhale.

Progress.

โ€œTonight, when you told Lily we werenโ€™t together, I wasnโ€™t angryโ€ฆโ€ My lungs stop working.

His arresting stare holds me hostage. โ€œI was disappointed because of how much I wanted us to be.โ€

โ€œI never meant to hurt your feelings,โ€ I rush to get out.

He presses his forehead against mine. โ€œI know that. We had our rules, and I went ahead and broke them.โ€

โ€œWhat do you mean?โ€ My voice cracks toward the end of the question as I pull back.

โ€œIโ€™m falling in love with you, Dahlia. I donโ€™t expect you to say it back after everything youโ€™ve been through this year, but I didnโ€™t want to go another night without you knowing how I feel. Just like I canโ€™t go another day with you thinking Iโ€™m okay with us keeping things casual.โ€

Por Dios.

His eyes shimmer from the moon peeking through the clouds. โ€œI missed out on a chance to make you mine before, but I donโ€™t plan on making the same mistake again. Weโ€™re the real deal, sweetheart, and Iโ€™m done letting you believe anything else.โ€

My heart soars like a bird released from a ten-year cage of wishful thinking and haunted what-ifs.

Julian doesnโ€™t wait for a reply before he bends down and captures my mouth with his. I bask in the afterglow of his admission as he kisses me, making meย feelย the truth behind his words.

Every kiss feels like a promise. Every touch an oath. A vow that Julian will love me, cherish me, and protect meโ€”no matter if I choose to believe it or not.

There is a fundamental shift happening inside of me, and Iโ€™m overwhelmed that it all has to do with Julian.

Youโ€™re falling in love with him too.

The thought is scary, but then again, the truth typically is.

As if he senses my wandering thoughts, Julian tugs me back into the moment by biting down on my bottom lip. He draws blood before licking the evidence away with the tip of his tongue.

I return the favor, earning a sharp hiss I feel straight to my clit. He grabs my ass and lifts me, and I wrap my legs around him before he presses my back against the wall, trapping me as he ravages my mouth.

I swivel my hips, and Julian moans. His nails stab into my flesh as I rub against his cock.

Iโ€™m not sure how long we tease one another, but he only breaks away from kissing me to focus his attention on my neck.

โ€œI canโ€™t get enough of you.โ€ The adoration in his voice has something in my chest twisting. He sucks on my neck hard enough to bruise, no doubt marking the skin.

โ€œWe werenโ€™t supposed to fall in love.โ€ I pull him away by the roots of his hair.

Shit!

Before I have a chance to panic about what I said, Julian distracts me by kissing the spot beneath my ear that makes me tremble.

โ€œWhat are you going to do about it?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not sure yet. Ask me again after you make me come.โ€ He smiles against my skin. โ€œSounds like a plan.โ€

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