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Chapter no 16 – Julian

Love Redesigned

I

 

park my truck beside Rafaโ€™s beat-up one and hop out. Unlike me, my cousin doesnโ€™t live on the lake. Instead, after his divorce, he chose to purchase land at the top of the farthest hill away from town, where he

could have a fresh start away from any prying eyes.

My mom used to say people do weird things once they make a lot of money, and I never understood what she meant until Rafa started fostering unwanted farm animals and being one with the land after Hillary left.

I swear, the man is one step away from signing up for one of those competitive wilderness shows.

โ€œFina told me you took Dahlia to the hospital yesterday.โ€ Rafa cuts to the chase as soon as I walk through his front door.

โ€œDid you invite me over here to hang out or for an interrogation?โ€ โ€œA mix of both.โ€ He tucks his hands in his front pockets.

โ€œAt least youโ€™re honest.โ€

He shoots me a look before walking away.

The style of his house is completely different from mineโ€”it feels warm and lived-in, with its oak floors and Nicoโ€™s artwork hanging on every wall. The paint colors were chosen by Nico, with each room matching a different pair of my godsonโ€™s glasses.

Not my cousinโ€™s smartest design choice, but one made out of love nonetheless.

I follow behind him, only to take a detour toward the classical music playing from the conservatory. Nico sits at the piano with his nanny and

music teacher, Ellie. They play in tandem, perfectly in sync as their fingers fly across the keys.

Ellieโ€™s body sways to the music, making her blonde hair shift with the melody.

โ€œDid you get lost on your way to the kitchen?โ€ Rafa says.

Ellie hits the keys all wrong, making the most horrific noise. โ€œI wanted to say hi to Nico.โ€

โ€œTรญo!โ€ Nico slides off the bench and runs toward me. His coordination is a bit off because of his eye condition, but he jumps into my arms with all the momentum he can muster.

โ€œHey, you.โ€ I ruffle his hair before tipping my chin toward Ellie. โ€œNice to see you again.โ€

She rises from her seat. โ€œLikewise.โ€

โ€œIs Rafa making you work on Saturdays now?โ€

โ€œNot usually, but heย inconvenientlyย forgot to tell me he needed my help today.โ€ She doesnโ€™t bother hiding her annoyance.

Ellie never gets flustered. Iโ€™ve watched her be thrown up on by a sick Nico, get kicked in the stomach by one of Rafaโ€™s goats, and twist her ankle during a hike, but Iโ€™ve never seen her look like this.

I spare my cousin a glance, only to find him glaring at Ellie. Iโ€™m not sure whatโ€™s wrong with him, but he needs to figure his shit out and get himself under control before he scares her away like he did all previous nannies. Whether by playing instruments together or learning to read braille, Ellie stands apart from the others with how she goes out of her way to help Nico and support him with his retinitis pigmentosa diagnosis.

Nico still values his independence like every normal eight-year-old kid, but sadly, it is only a matter of time before he completely loses his sight, a reality that has been stressing Rafa out as my godsonโ€™s vision worsens.

โ€œSorry you had to cancel your date.โ€ Rafaโ€™s face might be blank, but his eyes remind me of two burning coals.

Ellie smiles. โ€œNo worries. We rescheduled for tomorrow.โ€ My cousin makes the most inhuman noise.

Her hazel eyes narrow. โ€œStill struggling with that sore throat of yours?โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re sick?โ€ I ask my cousin.

โ€œSick of Eleanorโ€™s bullshit is more like it,โ€ he mutters under his breath before turning back toward the hall.

I fight a laugh. โ€œEleanor?โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t you dare call me that.โ€ She points a finger at me.

โ€œWhatโ€™s up with him?โ€ I ask once Rafa is out of hearing distance.

โ€œHeโ€™s been like that all week because of theย weather.โ€ Ellieโ€™s gaze swings from me to Nico.

There is nothing worse than Hurricane Hillary influencing my cousinโ€™s mood long after their divorce.

I step toward the hall. โ€œI better go before he comes searching for me.โ€ โ€œBye,ย Tรญo!โ€ Nico gives me one last hug before reaching out for Ellieโ€™s

hand. They return to the piano and restart the song.

I find Rafa sitting at the kitchen island, staring at his coffee like it might reveal his fortune.

โ€œYou good?โ€ I grab the iced coffee he made me. Rafa might be an irritable dick most of the time now, but he still goes out of his way to do sweet things because he canโ€™t help himself.

He runs his hands through his hair, making a mess of the already- disheveled strands. โ€œHillary called.โ€

โ€œHm.โ€

His shoulders droop. โ€œSheโ€™s flying into Detroit and wants to see Nico.โ€ โ€œWhen?โ€

โ€œThe weekend of the Harvest Festival.โ€ My brows rise. โ€œIs she coming?โ€

โ€œNo.โ€

โ€œShocker.โ€ Once the divorce papers were signed, she booked a one-way flight back to Oregon to be with her family and never came back to Lake Wisteria. If it wasnโ€™t for Rafa flying out there so Nico could see his mom, Iโ€™m not sure she would have seen him until now.

โ€œNicoโ€™s excited to see her.โ€ His fingers tighten around his mug. โ€œItโ€™s been what? Four months since he last saw her?โ€

โ€œFive,โ€ he grunts under his breath.

โ€œI forgot she missed his birthday.โ€

โ€œI sure didnโ€™t.โ€ His voice reeks of self-loathing.

โ€œYouโ€™ve got to stop beating yourself up over her poor decisions.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m the one who got her pregnant. Who else is there to blameย butย me?โ€ โ€œYou were barely an adult when all that happened. Itโ€™s not like you

could have predicted things would turn out this way.โ€

โ€œNo, but that doesnโ€™t stop me from feeling like a stupid fool.โ€ I shake my head. โ€œYouโ€™re too hard on yourself.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve been thinkingโ€ฆโ€

โ€œStop now while youโ€™re ahead.โ€ โ€œYouโ€™re not going to like this.โ€

The empty pit in my stomach widens as I say, โ€œThen letโ€™s call it a loss and move on to better subjects, like betting on tomorrowโ€™s soccer game. Iโ€™ve got a few of my paver guysโ€”โ€

โ€œJulian.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s the problem?โ€

He stares out the window facing his barn. โ€œIโ€™ve been thinking about moving.โ€

I blink twice. โ€œWhat did you say?โ€

โ€œWith Hillary living so far away, Iโ€™ve been wondering if itโ€™s in Nicoโ€™s best interest for him to live closer to his mom.โ€

โ€œIs that inย yourย best interest?โ€ Rafa has spent his whole life within the small border of Lake Wisteria, so for him to move…

He rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms. โ€œForget I said anything.โ€

A wave of nausea forces me to push my coffee away. โ€œYouโ€™re seriously thinking about moving across the country?โ€

โ€œOnly occasionally.โ€

Losing Rafa and Nico would be devastating for our family. Besides my mom, theyโ€™re the only loved ones I have left, so I selfishly donโ€™t want them to move away.

You could find a way to convince Hillary to move somewhere within driving distance, like Chicago or Detroiโ€”

โ€œDonโ€™t mention anything to your mom right now,โ€ he says, stopping me mid-spiral.

โ€œBut what if she moves backโ€”โ€ โ€œStop.โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€ I blink away my confusion. โ€œThis isnโ€™t a problem you can solve.โ€ โ€œWho saidโ€”โ€

He shuts me up with a single look.

I hold my hands up. โ€œFine. But talk to me before you make any big decisions.โ€

โ€œFair enough.โ€ He scrubs at his cheek. โ€œAnyway, Iโ€™m sorry to leave you alone to work the booth without me.โ€

My mom takes a lot of pride in sharing her grandmotherโ€™sย champurradoย recipe during the Harvest Festival. And ever since we were old enough to be trusted with the responsibility, Rafa and I have teamed up to run the Lopez booth together to make Ma happy and share our Mexican hot chocolate with the visitors.

โ€œJosefina told me you could handle it. She reassured me that your booth will be next to the Muรฑoz one this year so that you can have someone to talk to.โ€

โ€œHow thoughtful of her,โ€ I reply with a brittle tone.

โ€œI told her the same thing before asking her to switch it.โ€ โ€œAnd?โ€

โ€œShe says it would be dumb to separate theirย buรฑuelosย booth from our

champurradoย one.โ€

I sigh. โ€œItโ€™s fine.โ€

โ€œMaybe if you talked to her about how youโ€™re not interested in Dahlia like that, she would let up on her attempts at matchmaking.โ€

โ€œKnowing her, she will only see it as a challenge.โ€

โ€œI blame her obsession with those telenovelas.โ€ He takes a sip of his drink.

โ€œIโ€™m hoping Ma will realize Dahlia and I arenโ€™t meant to be once she finally leaves town for good.โ€

His head tilts. โ€œAnd when is that?โ€ โ€œI have no clue.โ€

โ€œYou really think sheโ€™s done with Oliver?โ€

โ€œIโ€™d say yes based on how she sold me her wedding ring before I encased it in a concrete tomb.โ€

His mouth falls open.

Shit.ย โ€œItโ€™s not that big of a deal.โ€

โ€œYou, the billionaire who considers eating out at a steakhouse a wasteful luxury, bought Dahliaโ€™s engagement ring just so you could bury it in concrete?โ€

โ€œOne, I think steakhouses are overrated when I can cook the same thing at my house for half the price; and two, it was worth it.โ€

Rafa drops his head into his hands. โ€œI donโ€™t know what to say to that.โ€ โ€œNothing is preferable.โ€

โ€œHow much did you pay for it?โ€ I donโ€™t answer him.

โ€œJulian.โ€

โ€œA hundred.โ€ โ€œThousand?โ€

I rub the back of my neck. โ€œYeah.โ€ โ€œWhy?โ€

โ€œI wanted to bury it in concrete.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m struggling to believe youโ€™re the same guy who spent five years hyping himself up into buying a McLaren for double the cost of what you paid Dahlia for a cheap thrill.โ€

When he puts it that way, it sounds bad. I donโ€™t act irrationally, especially when money is involved.

โ€œWell, I always hated that ring.โ€ The excuse sounds weak to my own ears.

Rafaโ€™s deep sigh makes my stomach churn. โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œYou say youโ€™re over her, but your actions say the complete opposite.โ€ โ€œBecause I bought her ring?โ€

โ€œBecause ofย whyย you bought her ring.โ€

My frown stretches. โ€œI was doing her a favor.โ€ โ€œKeep telling yourself that.โ€

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