SECRETS
Jo was very busy in the garret, for the October days began to grow chilly, and the afternoons were short. For two or three hours the sun lay warmly in the high window, showing Jo seated on the old sofa, writing busily, with her papers spread out upon a trunk before her, while Scrabble, the pet rat, promenaded the beams overhead, accompanied by his oldest son, a fine young fellow, who was evidently very proud of his whiskers. Quite absorbed in her work, Jo scribbled away till the last page was filled, when she signed her name with a flourish and threw down her pen, exclaiming…
โThere, Iโve done my best! If this wonโt suit I shall have to wait till I can do better.โ
Lying back on the sofa, she read the manuscript carefully through, making dashes here and there, and putting in many exclamation points, which looked like little balloons. Then she tied it up with a smart red ribbon, and sat a minute looking at it with a sober, wistful expression, which plainly showed how earnest her work had been. Joโs desk up here was an old tin kitchen which hung against the wall. In it she kept her papers, and a few books, safely shut away from Scrabble, who, being likewise of a literary turn, was fond of making a circulating library of such books as were left in his way by eating the leaves. From this tin receptacle Jo produced another manuscript, and putting both in her pocket, crept quietly downstairs, leaving her friends to nibble on her pens and taste her ink.
She put on her hat and jacket as noiselessly as possible, and going to the back entry window, got out upon the roof of a low porch, swung herself down to the grassy bank, and took a roundabout way to the road. Once there, she composed herself, hailed a passing omnibus, and rolled away to town, looking very merry and mysterious.
If anyone had been watching her, he would have thought her movements decidedly peculiar, for on alighting, she went off at a great pace till she reached a certain number in a certain busy street. Having found the place with some difficulty, she went into the doorway, looked up the dirty stairs, and after standing stock still a minute, suddenly dived into the street and walked away as rapidly as she came. This maneuver she repeated several times, to the great amusement of a black-eyed young gentleman lounging in the window of a building opposite. On returning for the third time, Jo gave herself a shake, pulled her hat over her eyes, and walked up the stairs, looking as if she were going to have all her teeth out.
There was a dentistโs sign, among others, which adorned the entrance, and after staring a moment at the pair of artificial jaws which slowly opened and shut to draw attention to a fine set of teeth, the young gentleman put on his coat, took his hat, and went down to post himself in the opposite doorway, saying with a smile and a shiver, โItโs like her to come alone, but if she has a bad time sheโll need someone to help her home.โ
In ten minutes Jo came running downstairs with a very red face and the general appearance of a person who had just passed through a trying ordeal of some sort. When she saw the young gentleman she looked anything but pleased, and passed him with a nod. But he followed, asking with an air of sympathy, โDid you have a bad time?โ
โNot very.โ
โYou got through quickly.โ
โYes, thank goodness!โ
โWhy did you go alone?โ
โDidnโt want anyone to know.โ
โYouโre the oddest fellow I ever saw. How many did you have out?โ
Jo looked at her friend as if she did not understand him, then began to laugh as if mightily amused at something.
โThere are two which I want to have come out, but I must wait a week.โ
โWhat are you laughing at? You are up to some mischief, Jo,โ said Laurie, looking mystified.
โSo are you. What were you doing, sir, up in that billiard saloon?โ
โBegging your pardon, maโam, it wasnโt a billiard saloon, but a gymnasium, and I was taking a lesson in fencing.โ
โIโm glad of that.โ
โWhy?โ
โYou can teach me, and then when we playย Hamlet, you can be Laertes, and weโll make a fine thing of the fencing scene.โ
Laurie burst out with a hearty boyโs laugh, which made several passers-by smile in spite of themselves.
โIโll teach you whether we playย Hamletย or not. Itโs grand fun and will straighten you up capitally. But I donโt believe that was your only reason for saying โIโm gladโ in that decided way, was it now?โ
โNo, I was glad that you were not in the saloon, because I hope you never go to such places. Do you?โ
โNot often.โ
โI wish you wouldnโt.โ
โItโs no harm, Jo. I have billiards at home, but itโs no fun unless you have good players, so, as Iโm fond of it, I come sometimes and have a game with Ned Moffat or some of the other fellows.โ
โOh, dear, Iโm so sorry, for youโll get to liking it better and better, and will waste time and money, and grow like those dreadful boys. I did hope youโd stay respectable and be a satisfaction to your friends,โ said Jo, shaking her head.
โCanโt a fellow take a little innocent amusement now and then without losing his respectability?โ asked Laurie, looking nettled.
โThat depends upon how and where he takes it. I donโt like Ned and his set, and wish youโd keep out of it. Mother wonโt let us have him at our house, though he wants to come. And if you grow like him she wonโt be willing to have us frolic together as we do now.โ
โWonโt she?โ asked Laurie anxiously.
โNo, she canโt bear fashionable young men, and sheโd shut us all up in bandboxes rather than have us associate with them.โ
โWell, she neednโt get out her bandboxes yet. Iโm not a fashionable party and donโt mean to be, but I do like harmless larks now and then, donโt you?โ
โYes, nobody minds them, so lark away, but donโt get wild, will you? Or there will be an end of all our good times.โ
โIโll be a double distilled saint.โ
โI canโt bear saints. Just be a simple, honest, respectable boy, and weโll never desert you. I donโt know what I should do if you acted like Mr. Kingโs son. He had plenty of money, but didnโt know how to spend it, and got tipsy and gambled, and ran away, and forged his fatherโs name, I believe, and was altogether horrid.โ
โYou think Iโm likely to do the same? Much obliged.โ
โNo, I donโtโoh, dear, no!โbut I hear people talking about money being such a temptation, and I sometimes wish you were poor. I shouldnโt worry then.โ
โDo you worry about me, Jo?โ
โA little, when you look moody and discontented, as you sometimes do, for youโve got such a strong will, if you once get started wrong, Iโm afraid it would be hard to stop you.โ
Laurie walked in silence a few minutes, and Jo watched him, wishing she had held her tongue, for his eyes looked angry, though his lips smiled as if at her warnings.
โAre you going to deliver lectures all the way home?โ he asked presently.
โOf course not. Why?โ
โBecause if you are, Iโll take a bus. If youโre not, Iโd like to walk with you and tell you something very interesting.โ
โI wonโt preach any more, and Iโd like to hear the news immensely.โ
โVery well, then, come on. Itโs a secret, and if I tell you, you must tell me yours.โ
โI havenโt got any,โ began Jo, but stopped suddenly, remembering that she had.
โYou know you haveโyou canโt hide anything, so up and โfess, or I wonโt tell,โ cried Laurie.
โIs your secret a nice one?โ
โOh, isnโt it! All about people you know, and such fun! You ought to hear it, and Iโve been aching to tell it this long time. Come, you begin.โ
โYouโll not say anything about it at home, will you?โ
โNot a word.โ
โAnd you wonโt tease me in private?โ
โI never tease.โ
โYes, you do. You get everything you want out of people. I donโt know how you do it, but you are a born wheedler.โ
โThank you. Fire away.โ
โWell, Iโve left two stories with a newspaperman, and heโs to give his answer next week,โ whispered Jo, in her confidantโs ear.
โHurrah for Miss March, the celebrated American authoress!โ cried Laurie, throwing up his hat and catching it again, to the great delight of two ducks, four cats, five hens, and half a dozen Irish children, for they were out of the city now.
โHush! It wonโt come to anything, I dare say, but I couldnโt rest till I had tried, and I said nothing about it because I didnโt want anyone else to be disappointed.โ
โIt wonโt fail. Why, Jo, your stories are works of Shakespeare compared to half the rubbish that is published every day. Wonโt it be fun to see them in print, and shanโt we feel proud of our authoress?โ
Joโs eyes sparkled, for it is always pleasant to be believed in, and a friendโs praise is always sweeter than a dozen newspaper puffs.
โWhereโs your secret? Play fair, Teddy, or Iโll never believe you again,โ she said, trying to extinguish the brilliant hopes that blazed up at a word of encouragement.
โI may get into a scrape for telling, but I didnโt promise not to, so I will, for I never feel easy in my mind till Iโve told you any plummy bit of news I get. I know where Megโs glove is.โ
โIs that all?โ said Jo, looking disappointed, as Laurie nodded and twinkled with a face full of mysterious intelligence.
โItโs quite enough for the present, as youโll agree when I tell you where it is.โ
โTell, then.โ
Laurie bent, and whispered three words in Joโs ear, which produced a comical change. She stood and stared at him for a minute, looking both surprised and displeased, then walked on, saying sharply, โHow do you know?โ
โSaw it.โ
โWhere?โ
โPocket.โ
โAll this time?โ
โYes, isnโt that romantic?โ
โNo, itโs horrid.โ
โDonโt you like it?โ
โOf course I donโt. Itโs ridiculous, it wonโt be allowed. My patience! What would Meg say?โ
โYou are not to tell anyone. Mind that.โ
โI didnโt promise.โ
โThat was understood, and I trusted you.โ
โWell, I wonโt for the present, anyway, but Iโm disgusted, and wish you hadnโt told me.โ
โI thought youโd be pleased.โ
โAt the idea of anybody coming to take Meg away? No, thank you.โ
โYouโll feel better about it when somebody comes to take you away.โ
โIโd like to see anyone try it,โ cried Jo fiercely.
โSo should I!โ and Laurie chuckled at the idea.
โI donโt think secrets agree with me, I feel rumpled up in my mind since you told me that,โ said Jo rather ungratefully.
โRace down this hill with me, and youโll be all right,โ suggested Laurie.
No one was in sight, the smooth road sloped invitingly before her, and finding the temptation irresistible, Jo darted away, soon leaving hat and comb behind her and scattering hairpins as she ran. Laurie reached the goal first and was quite satisfied with the success of his treatment, for his Atlanta came panting up with flying hair, bright eyes, ruddy cheeks, and no signs of dissatisfaction in her face.
โI wish I was a horse, then I could run for miles in this splendid air, and not lose my breath. It was capital, but see what a guy itโs made me. Go, pick up my things, like a cherub, as you are,โ said Jo, dropping down under a maple tree, which was carpeting the bank with crimson leaves.
Laurie leisurely departed to recover the lost property, and Jo bundled up her braids, hoping no one would pass by till she was tidy again. But someone did pass, and who should it be but Meg, looking particularly ladylike in her state and festival suit, for she had been making calls.
โWhat in the world are you doing here?โ she asked, regarding her disheveled sister with well-bred surprise.
โGetting leaves,โ meekly answered Jo, sorting the rosy handful she had just swept up.
โAnd hairpins,โ added Laurie, throwing half a dozen into Joโs lap. โThey grow on this road, Meg, so do combs and brown straw hats.โ
โYou have been running, Jo. How could you? When will you stop such romping ways?โ said Meg reprovingly, as she settled her cuffs and smoothed her hair, with which the wind had taken liberties.
โNever till Iโm stiff and old and have to use a crutch. Donโt try to make me grow up before my time, Meg. Itโs hard enough to have you change all of a sudden. Let me be a little girl as long as I can.โ
As she spoke, Jo bent over the leaves to hide the trembling of her lips, for lately she had felt that Margaret was fast getting to be a woman, and Laurieโs secret made her dread the separation which must surely come some time and now seemed very near. He saw the trouble in her face and drew Megโs attention from it by asking quickly, โWhere have you been calling, all so fine?โ
โAt the Gardinersโ, and Sallie has been telling me all about Belle Moffatโs wedding. It was very splendid, and they have gone to spend the winter in Paris. Just think how delightful that must be!โ
โDo you envy her, Meg?โ said Laurie.
โIโm afraid I do.โ
โIโm glad of it!โ muttered Jo, tying on her hat with a jerk.
โWhy?โ asked Meg, looking surprised.
โBecause if you care much about riches, you will never go and marry a poor man,โ said Jo, frowning at Laurie, who was mutely warning her to mind what she said.
โI shall never โgoย and marryโ anyone,โ observed Meg, walking on with great dignity while the others followed, laughing, whispering, skipping stones, and โbehaving like childrenโ, as Meg said to herself, though she might have been tempted to join them if she had not had her best dress on.
For a week or two, Jo behaved so queerly that her sisters were quite bewildered. She rushed to the door when the postman rang, was rude to Mr. Brooke whenever they met, would sit looking at Meg with a woe-begone face, occasionally jumping up to shake and then kiss her in a very mysterious manner. Laurie and she were always making signs to one another, and talking about โSpread Eaglesโ till the girls declared they had both lost their wits. On the second Saturday after Jo got out of the window, Meg, as she sat sewing at her window, was scandalized by the sight of Laurie chasing Jo all over the garden and finally capturing her in Amyโs bower. What went on there, Meg could not see, but shrieks of laughter were heard, followed by the murmur of voices and a great flapping of newspapers.
โWhat shall we do with that girl? She neverย willย behave like a young lady,โ sighed Meg, as she watched the race with a disapproving face.
โI hope she wonโt. She is so funny and dear as she is,โ said Beth, who had never betrayed that she was a little hurt at Joโs having secrets with anyone but her.
โItโs very trying, but we never can make herย commy la fo,โ added Amy, who sat making some new frills for herself, with her curls tied up in a very becoming way, two agreeable things that made her feel unusually elegant and ladylike.
In a few minutes Jo bounced in, laid herself on the sofa, and affected to read.
โHave you anything interesting there?โ asked Meg, with condescension.
โNothing but a story, wonโt amount to much, I guess,โ returned Jo, carefully keeping the name of the paper out of sight.
โYouโd better read it aloud. That will amuse us and keep you out of mischief,โ said Amy in her most grown-up tone.
โWhatโs the name?โ asked Beth, wondering why Jo kept her face behind the sheet.
โThe Rival Painters.โ
โThat sounds well. Read it,โ said Meg.
With a loud โHem!โ and a long breath, Jo began to read very fast. The girls listened with interest, for the tale was romantic, and somewhat pathetic, as most of the characters died in the end. โI like that about the splendid picture,โ was Amyโs approving remark, as Jo paused.
โI prefer the lovering part. Viola and Angelo are two of our favorite names, isnโt that queer?โ said Meg, wiping her eyes, for the lovering part was tragical.
โWho wrote it?โ asked Beth, who had caught a glimpse of Joโs face.
The reader suddenly sat up, cast away the paper, displaying a flushed countenance, and with a funny mixture of solemnity and excitement replied in a loud voice, โYour sister.โ
โYou?โ cried Meg, dropping her work.
โItโs very good,โ said Amy critically.
โI knew it! I knew it! Oh, my Jo, I am so proud!โ and Beth ran to hug her sister and exult over this splendid success.
Dear me, how delighted they all were, to be sure! How Meg wouldnโt believe it till she saw the words. โMiss Josephine March,โ actually printed in the paper. How graciously Amy criticized the artistic parts of the story, and offered hints for a sequel, which unfortunately couldnโt be carried out, as the hero and heroine were dead. How Beth got excited, and skipped and sang with joy. How Hannah came in to exclaim, โSakes alive, well I never!โ in great astonishment at โthat Joโs doinโsโ. How proud Mrs. March was when she knew it. How Jo laughed, with tears in her eyes, as she declared she might as well be a peacock and done with it, and how the โSpread Eagleโ might be said to flap his wings triumphantly over the House of March, as the paper passed from hand to hand.
โTell us about it.โ โWhen did it come?โ โHow much did you get for it?โ โWhat will Father say?โ โWonโt Laurie laugh?โ cried the family, all in one breath as they clustered about Jo, for these foolish, affectionate people made a jubilee of every little household joy.
โStop jabbering, girls, and Iโll tell you everything,โ said Jo, wondering if Miss Burney felt any grander over her Evelina than she did over her โRival Paintersโ. Having told how she disposed of her tales, Jo added, โAnd when I went to get my answer, the man said he liked them both, but didnโt pay beginners, only let them print in his paper, and noticed the stories. It was good practice, he said, and when the beginners improved, anyone would pay. So I let him have the two stories, and today this was sent to me, and Laurie caught me with it and insisted on seeing it, so I let him. And he said it was good, and I shall write more, and heโs going to get the next paid for, and I am so happy, for in time I may be able to support myself and help the girls.โ
Joโs breath gave out here, and wrapping her head in the paper, she bedewed her little story with a few natural tears, for to be independent and earn the praise of those she loved were the dearest wishes of her heart, and this seemed to be the first step toward that happy end.