NINA KNEW GETTING THE WOMEN out of the fort would be no small challenge. Security would be tighter thanks to her little stunt, but they could at least hope that the soldiers might think the breach had been the result of a novitiate out to pull a prank or attempting a meeting with a soldier, not the work of a Ravkan spy.
When Nina met with Leoni and Adrik to plan, they kept their discussions in Zemeni and made sure to talk well away from the convent, under the cover of one of their excursions to sell the loading devices. They’d actually made sales to a few of the local fishermen who were attempting to hunt game for hides and meat now that the fish seemed to be dying off. They would have to restock soon.
That morning, Nina had seen a flash of white fur appearing and disappearing through the trees as they trekked out of town. She’d strayed away from Adrik and Leoni and wended her way into the woods as silently as she could. There, she’d seen Trassel, prowling the far banks of the river. Her heart had caught in her throat when she’d glimpsed the other shapes in the woods. Gray wolves. But these animals did not seem to have the orange eyes and rangy bodies of those she’d encountered on the ice. Every time one of them moved toward the water, Trassel would snap his jaws and the gray wolves would edge farther back into the trees.
He’s herding them, she realized. He’s keeping them away from the poisoned river.
She wanted to stay and watch, to see if he might let her approach— even if he continued to turn his nose up at her kitchen scraps. But Adrik and Leoni were waiting. And so were the girls on the mountaintop. Reluctantly, she left Trassel behind and returned to the sledge.
The plan seemed simple enough: Get the women and their babies out and make it through the checkpoint at the base of the hill before anyone knew the prisoners were missing.
Leoni hadn’t been thrilled to learn they’d need explosives. “I have barely any training in blasting powders,” she said as they repacked their wares, “and long fuses are almost always trouble.”
“We need a distraction,” said Nina. “Once we get clear, the bombs will start a fire in the active portion of the factory that will spread to the maternity ward. By the time it’s extinguished and they realize there are no bodies to find, the girls will be well on their way to Hjar.” There, a whaler commissioned by members of the Hringsa would be waiting to take them to Ravka. Actually, the crew would be expecting Grisha fugitives, not a tide of young women and infants addicted to what Leoni suspected was synthetic parem or something very much like it. But Nina would find some way to explain. “We can’t tell the girls who we are. Not if we want them docile.”
Leoni looked uneasy. “Shouldn’t they have a choice in this?”
“Parem takes away choice. All they’ll be thinking of is when the next fix will come. If we want them to go with us quietly, they can’t know we’re taking them away from their supply. We should try to acquire some ordinary jurda for them too. It may help with the withdrawal.”
Adrik squinted down the road. “What happens when they realize that next fix isn’t coming?”
“Leoni, could you create a sedative mild enough to keep them manageable but safe enough for the mothers who are still carrying?”
“Are we really talking about sedating pregnant women?” Adrik asked. “What if we get the dose wrong?”
“I don’t like it either, but I know what it’s like to be in the grips of that longing.”
“I can do it,” said Leoni. “I think. But …” She looked down at the knot she was tying. “What if they don’t come back from this? We could be dooming them to a horrific journey, maybe even death.”
Nina remembered the agony of her battle with parem too well. She’d begged for death, prayed for it. Without Matthias, she wasn’t sure she could have held on. And that had just been the first struggle. What would she have done without Inej to give her purpose? Or Jesper to make her laugh? Even that little bastard Kaz had done his part, ruthless to the last. She’d needed all of them to keep her going in those long, merciless days
as she fought her way back to herself. These women would be without family or friends in a foreign land. They would have to learn to lean on one another. If they survived.
Nina looked at Leoni, at Adrik. “I won’t pretend I’m thinking straight. Seeing those women, those girls that way … I understand what parem does. I’ve been through that war. I know what I would choose.”
“And you’re willing to make that choice for them?” said Adrik. “We all have to be willing.”
Leoni took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t want to live under another’s control. I wouldn’t want to doom my child to a life of that.”
“Adrik?” Nina asked.
“I told you what I think, Nina. We’re risking our lives and the lives of other Grisha to deliver what I suspect will be a ship full of corpses to Ravka. But I won’t turn my back on them. If nothing else, I’ll have something new to complain about for the rest of my days.”
“You’re welcome,” said Nina.
Adrik gave her a dour little bow. “But how are we supposed to convince the mothers or the guards that a one-armed man and two women have any business being there?”
“We can get you a uniform and stuff your sleeve. Leoni and I can wear Springmaiden pinafores.”
“You think they won’t notice that I can barely speak Fjerdan and that I’m trying to drive a team of horses with one hand?”
“Hanne will help.”
“Are you sure?” Leoni asked. “I saw her face the other night. She’s been under the Wellmother’s thumb a long time.”
Not just the Wellmother. Her parents. All of Fjerda. But Hanne had still lied for Nina. She’d defied the dictates of the convent to help people who needed her. She’d still managed to keep the fierce part of her heart alive in this wretched place.
Adrik leaned back against the cart. “If she finds out we’re Grisha—” “She’s Grisha.”
“And she hates herself. Don’t think she won’t turn that hatred on us. Even if we get through this without revealing who we really are, she’ll be the one left to face the consequences when we’re gone.” Nina shifted uneasily and Adrik’s brows rose. “You think she’ll go with us. Oh, Zenik. I thought Leoni was the hopeless optimist.”
“Hanne doesn’t belong here.” Even if she managed to keep her powers
a secret, Fjerda would break Hanne’s spirit eventually. Nina didn’t think she could bear that particular casualty in this war.
Adrik studied her. “Don’t make us the only option, Nina. It’s not something Hanne will forgive.”
She might not forgive me, Nina thought, but at least she’ll survive.
When Nina arrived in the classroom the next day, she was startled to find not just Hanne waiting but one of the Springmaidens.
“Kori of the Well would like to learn too,” Hanne said dully.
Nina tried to look delighted. “Another student! Excellent. Do you have any knowledge of Zemeni?”
“No,” Kori said sulkily. Clearly she wasn’t thrilled to be stuck with this duty. And clearly the Wellmother thought Nina and Hanne shouldn’t be left alone.
“Then we’ll begin at the beginning. Let’s start with the verb to pray.”
Hanne rolled her eyes, and Nina found it hard not to laugh. If this was the worst challenge they faced over the next few days, Nina would count them very lucky indeed.
But as she was walking Hanne and Kori through some basic vocabulary—chair, desk, window, sky, girl, cloud—a knock came and a novitiate poked her head through the door. It was the peach-cheeked girl who’d approached Nina in the woods, one of the same novitiates who had ridden with Hanne as a Fjerdan soldier.
The girl curtsied to Kori, who asked, “What is it?”
“The Wellmother sent me to fetch you, Hanne,” said the novitiate. “Your father is here.”
Hanne’s whole body seemed to crumple like a flower wilting in a sudden frost. Nina had seen her scared, angry, but this was something new and unwelcome, as if all the fire that animated her had suddenly and abruptly banked.
Even Kori looked worried as she said, “Go on, then,” to Hanne.
Hanne closed her workbook and rose. Nina knew she shouldn’t, but as Hanne walked past, she grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. Hanne glanced at the Springmaiden, who was watching them with narrowed eyes, then squeezed back.
“It will be all right,” whispered Nina. “Adawe.” The first verb she’d taught Hanne. Fight.
Hanne’s spine straightened slightly. She released Nina’s hand, but the
novitiate added, “He wishes to meet you too, Enke Jandersdat.”
Good. If Hanne’s father wanted to meet his daughter’s teacher, she would do her best to handle and pacify him. Maybe she could help Hanne weather this storm. She rose.
“Adawesi,” Hanne said, full lips quirking in a smile. We fight.
When they reached the chapel, the novitiate led them down a long hall, and Nina realized they were headed to the same office where she and Hanne had met with the Wellmother to discuss language classes.
The Wellmother waited at her desk, just as she had before, and a tall man of military bearing stood by the window, hands clasped behind his back. A thick red scar ran along the base of his pale skull. Nina felt something cold unfurl in her belly.
“Wellmother,” said Hanne, curtsying deeply. “Min fadder.”
Nina knew who it would be before he turned. But there was nothing she could do to stop the terror that seized her as she looked once more into Jarl Brum’s cold blue eyes.
The last time Nina had encountered Jarl Brum, he’d tried to imprison and enslave her. She’d been deep in the grips of her first and only dose of jurda parem when she’d faced him and his drüskelle in the Djerholm harbor. She’d wanted to murder him, and she could have with barely a thought. But Matthias had begged her to show mercy, and she had. She’d left Brum and his men alive, though in a last petty act, she’d torn the scalp from his head. Someone had apparently sewn it back on.
Nina sank into a low curtsy, training her eyes on the floor, trying to steal a moment to gather her wits and hide her fear. Get yourself together, Zenik, she ordered herself. Brum had seen through her clumsy disguise when she’d met him in the Ice Court, but now she’d been tailored by the master, Genya Safin. Her very bones and body had been altered, and she knew her command of the Fjerdan language was pristine. She remembered what she’d said to Hanne, that performance began in the body, and right now Nina needed to give the performance of her life. Instead of hiding her fear, she would use it. It was her loathing she needed to bury.
When she rose from her curtsy, she was not Nina Zenik; she was Mila Jandersdat, a girl whose livelihood might very well depend on the favor of Jarl Brum.
But Brum’s focus was on Hanne. His face softened when he looked at his daughter.
“Hanne,” he said, stepping forward and embracing her. “You’re looking … hearty.”
Hanne hunched a little more. “Thank you, Papa.”
“Your form would soften if you would leave off riding so much.” “I’m sorry, Papa.”
He sighed. “I know you are.” His gaze shifted to Nina, who bowed her head and turned her eyes to the floor demurely. “And this is your new teacher? She’s young enough to be a student here.”
“She’s serving as a guide to the Zemeni tradesmen who arrived last week,” said Hanne.
“So the Wellmother tells me,” said Brum, stalking toward Nina. “A stranger arrives with two foreigners, and only days later the security at the factory is breached. An unlikely coincidence.”
Nina looked at him with what she hoped was bewildered dismay.
Brum snatched the tip of her chin and tilted her face up.
Whoever had sewn the skin back onto his head had done so with considerable skill, but his golden hair was gone and there was no hiding the scar that circled his skull like the fat pink tail of a rat. A Grisha Healer or Tailor could have faded it, but of course then he’d have had to let one of them near his head. Nina wanted to meet his incisive gaze with a glare of her own. Instead she allowed her eyes to fill with tears.
Brum frowned. “How old are you?” “Eighteen, sir.”
“You were widowed young.” “I have been unlucky.”
His lip curled slightly. “Why do you tremble so?”
“I have had little cause to be in the presence of great men.”
Brum’s brows rose, but she didn’t miss the flash of satisfaction in his eyes. So this was what Commander Brum liked—flattery, timidity, fear. When she’d met him last, she’d been bold and flirtatious. Now she understood her mistake.
“Where did you learn Zemeni?” he asked.
“My husband ran a small business shipping frozen goods and fish. He traded frequently with the Zemeni. I had a talent for it and took over the communications.”
“And how did he die?”
“Lost to the waters.” A tear rolled down her cheek. Nina could not have asked for better timing.
Brum’s eyes tracked its progress almost hungrily. “A shame.” He released Nina’s chin and stepped back. “I’ll want to question the Zemeni traders,” he told the Wellmother.
“What about my lessons, Papa?” Hanne asked.
“Your lessons,” Brum said thoughtfully. “Yes, I think the influence of a girl with country manners might be good for you, Hanne. You may continue.”
Nina sank into another curtsy. “Thank you, sir,” she said, looking up at him through wet lashes. “It is an honor.”
As Brum and Hanne left the room to chat privately, Nina curtsied to the Wellmother and turned to go.
“I know what you’re up to,” said the Wellmother.
Nina froze with her hand on the doorknob. “What do you mean?” “Commander Brum is happily married to a woman of noble birth.”
Nina blinked and almost burst out laughing. “Why would that concern me?”
The Wellmother’s eyes slitted. “I doubt it would concern you at all. I knew there was more to your motives than a simple teaching position.”
“I only wish to make a living.”
The Wellmother clucked in disbelief. “You aim to land a wealthy provider. You may have the good commander fooled with your wide eyes and wobbly lip, but you are no honest woman.”
And you are the worst kind of hypocrite, Nina thought, anger flaring. This woman had dosed young girls and women with parem—or some equivalent. She’d put on her pious little pinafore and walked the halls of that factory with her cursed drug, helping soldiers make slaves. When those girls go missing, I’m going to make sure Jarl Brum blames you. Then we’ll see how you enjoy the good commander’s attentions.
But all she said was “Commander Brum is old enough to be my father.”
“And wise enough to resist your clumsy allure, I’ll warrant. But I will be watching.”
Nina shook her head with false concern. “You have been cloistered here too long, Wellmother, if your thoughts turn so readily to sin.”
“How dare you—”
Nina fluffed her skirts primly over her toes. “I’m not sure it’s an entirely wholesome atmosphere for a girl like Hanne. A shame,” Nina said as she turned to go. “But I will pray for you.”
She left the Wellmother red-cheeked and sputtering.
As much as Nina enjoyed baiting the Wellmother, she was glad of the woman’s suspicions. What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet? Kaz Brekker had once explained. Tell him you’re going to steal his watch. If that sour-mouthed crone thought Nina’s goal was to become a rich man’s mistress, then she’d be distracted from their real plan.
And what if Brum is bluffing? What if he knows exactly who I am? Nina had been fooled by Brum once before and had nearly lost her life in the process. This time, she would be more cautious. When she tangled with Jarl Brum again, she did not intend to leave him standing.
But she wasn’t prepared for the storm awaiting her in the classroom. “What was that?” Hanne railed. Kori was nowhere to be found, and
Hanne paced back and forth, her pinafore billowing behind her. “Quivering like a leaf in a storm. Crying like some kind of frightened child. That wasn’t you.”
Nina felt a sudden surge of anger. What she’d seen at the fort, the shock of meeting Brum again, the crimes of the Wellmother, it was all too much. “You barely know me,” she snapped.
“I know you’re brave enough to want to help your sister and reckless enough to break into a military stronghold to do it. I know you’re clever enough to dupe a roomful of drunk hunters and generous enough to help a desperate friend. Or is that all an act too?”
Nina clenched her fists. “I’m trying to make sure I survive, that both of us survive. Your father … I know his reputation. He’s a ruthless man.”
“He’s had to be.”
Nina wanted to scream. How could fierce, spirited Hanne be Brum’s daughter? And why couldn’t she see what he was? “If he knew you were Grisha, what would he do?”
Hanne turned toward the window. “I don’t know.” “What if he knew I was trying to help you?” Hanne shrugged. “I don’t know,” she repeated.
You know, Nina thought. You know what that bigoted bastard would do, but you’re too afraid to admit it.
Nina wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her. She wanted to pull Hanne onto a horse and ride until they reached the shore. But she couldn’t think about any of that, not if they were going to free the girls in the fort. Adawesi. We fight. And Nina knew fighting meant using all the tools at her disposal—even Hanne’s guilt.
“You owe it to your father to keep this secret.” Nina felt sick saying those words, aware of the effect they would have. Hanne owed Brum nothing, but Nina forced herself to continue. “If he knew you were Grisha, it would put him in an impossible position. His reputation and his career would be at tremendous risk.”
Hanne slumped at the desk and put her head in her hands. “You think I don’t realize that?”
Nina crouched down before her. “Hanne, look at me.” Nina waited, and at last Hanne looked up. Her vibrant eyes were dry but anguished, and Nina knew that pain was not for herself but for the embarrassment she’d cause her father. “This country … this country does terrible things to its women and to its men. Your father thinks the way he does because he was raised to. But I can’t help him. I can’t fix him. I can help my sister. I can help you. And I’ll do what I have to in order to make that possible. If that means batting my lashes at your father and convincing him I’m a model of Fjerdan woman-hood, I’ll do it.”
“It’s disgusting. You looked at my father as if he were an incarnation of Djel.”
“I looked at your father the way he wants to be looked at—like a hero.”
Hanne ran her calloused thumb down the length of the old wooden desk. “Is that what you do with me?”
“No,” said Nina, and that, at least, was the truth. She had told Hanne countless lies, but she’d never flattered, never manipulated her in that way. “When I said you were talented, I meant it. When I said you were glorious, I meant that too.” Hanne met her gaze, and for a moment, Nina felt as if they weren’t stuck in this classroom or even this country. They were someplace better. They were someplace free. “Our first job is always to survive,” she said. “I won’t apologize for it.”
Hanne’s lips twitched. “Have you always been this sure of yourself?” Nina shrugged. “Yes.”
“And your husband didn’t complain?”
“He complained,” Nina said—and suddenly she had to look away, because it was not some fictional merchant who had come to mind but Matthias with his strict propriety and his disapproving glower and his loving, generous heart. “He complained all the time.”
“Was he quick to anger?” Hanne asked.
Nina shook her head and pressed her palms to her eyes, unable to stop
the tears that came, not wanting to. Saints, she was tired. “No. We didn’t always agree.” She smiled, tasting salt on her lips. “In fact, we almost never agreed. But he loved me. And I loved him.”
Hanne reached across the desk and let her fingers brush Nina’s hand. “I had no right to ask.”
“It’s okay,” said Nina. “The hurt just still catches me by surprise. It’s a sneaky little podge.”
Hanne leaned back, studying her. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
Nina knew she should lower her head, make some comment about reining in her boldness of spirit, demonstrate that she gave a damn about Fjerdan ways. Instead, she sniffled and said, “Of course you haven’t. I’m spectacular.”
Hanne laughed. “I would cut off a thumb for a thimbleful of your confidence.”
Nina brushed her tears away and squeezed Hanne’s hand, felt the warm press of her palm, the calluses of her fingers. Hands that could sew. String a bow. Soothe a sick child. It felt good to take this small bit of comfort—even if it also felt like she was stealing.
“I’m glad I met you, Hanne,” Nina said. “Do you mean that?”
She nodded, surprised at how much she did. Hanne might not be loud or reckless with her words, she might bow her head to her father and the Wellmother, but she had never let Fjerda break her. Despite her curtsies and her talk of family honor, she had remained defiant.
Hanne sighed. “Good. Because my father wants you to join us for dinner tonight after he tours the factory.”
“When does he return to the capital?”
“Tomorrow morning.” Hanne’s gaze was steady, knowing. “You’re planning something.”
“Yes,” said Nina. “You knew I would. I won’t act until he’s gone. But I’m going to need your help.”
“What do you want me to do?”
A great deal. And none of it will be easy. “I want you to become who your father always hoped you’d be.”
