I WANT A DIVORCE.
The words swirled around us like a cloud of poisonous fumes. Theoretically, I understood what they meant, but I couldnโt comprehend them.
Divorce meant breaking up. Breaking up meant separating. And separating was simply impossible. It was something that happened to other people, not to us.
Her wedding ring burned a hole in my pocket.
โI canโt believe I married someone who likes mint chocolate chip,โ I said as Alessandra hoovered down a bowl of her favorite ice cream. โYou know youโre basically eating toothpaste, right?โ
โDeliciousย toothpaste.โ Her mischievous smile hit me right in the gut. Weโd been married exactly one week, two days, and twelve hours, and I still couldnโt believe she was mine. โYou knew about my taste in dessertย beforeย our wedding, so you canโt complain now. Iโm afraid youโre stuck with me and my mint chocolate forever.โ
Forever.
The concept seemed laughable a year ago. Nothing lasted forever.
People, places, relationshipsโฆeverything had an expiration date.
But for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to believe someone when they said they would stay.
My hand found hers and laced our fingers together. โPromise?โ
Her face softened. We were technically supposed to be watching the latest action blockbuster, but the explosions were mere background noise at this point. โI promise.โ
A door slammed in the hallway, and the memory fizzled as quickly as it arose.
The buzzing in my ears returned. โYou donโt mean that.โ
Alessandra simply stared at me, her eyes bright with unshed tears but her face set with quiet determination.
Christ, why was my tie so damned tight? I couldnโt breathe properly.
I reached up to loosen it, but my fingers found nothing except damp cotton. No tie, only a vise around my neck and a fist strangling my lungs.
โYou never told me.โ I dropped my arm, wondering where the hell we went wrong. โYou never said a thing about any of this until now.โ
Had I missed more dates than I shouldโve these past few years? Yes. Did Alessandra and I talk as much as we used to? No. But that was the nature of building an empire, and I thought we understood each other. Weโd been together for so long; we didnโt need to constantly reassure each other of our relationship.
โI shouldโve.โ Alessandra looked away. โThat was my fault. I kept it all to myself when I shouldโve told you how I was feeling. Itโs not just about one trip or dinner. Itโs not even about a dozen trips and dinners. Itโs about what missing them represents.โ Her eyes met mine again, and my heart twisted at the hurt I saw in them. Had I really been so blind Iโd missed how unhappy sheโd been all this time? โYouโve made it clear, time and again, that Iโm not a priority.โ
โThatโs not true.โ
โIsnโt it?โ She gave me a sad smile. โDo you know what I asked myself every night when you were staying late at the office again? I wondered, if there was an emergency at work and at home at the same time, who you would choose. Me or your investors?โ
The buzzing intensified. โYou know I would choose you.โ
โThatโs the thing. I donโt.โ A tear slipped down her cheek. โBecause you havenโt chosen me. Not in a very, very long time.โ
Silence fell between us, punctuated by my rapid breaths and the deafening ticks of the clock in the corner. Any response I mightโve had was crushed beneath the weight of her tears.
Poverty. Failure. Sabotage. Iโd endured plenty over the years and survived, but seeing Alessandra cry was the one thing that could bring me to my knees. Every damn time.
โIโve made so many excuses for you, both to my friends and to myself, but I canโt do it anymore.โ Her voice dropped to a whisper. โWeโve been holding on to something that doesnโt exist anymore, and we need to let go. Weโll both be happier.โ
Every syllable chipped away at the composure Iโd spent a decade constructing. An army of emotions stormed through meโanger, shame, and a fierce desperation that I hadnโt felt since I was a teenager fighting to get out of my godforsaken hometown.
I wasnโt supposed to feel any of those things anymore, dammit. I was a goddamn CEO, not a helpless boy with no family and no money to his name. But when faced with the prospect of losing Alessandraโฆ
Panic seized my chest. โYou honestly think weโll be happier if we divorce? That Iโll be happier without you? This isย us.โ The word ripped from my throat, raw and loaded with emotion.ย โVocรช e eu. Para sempre.โ You and me. Forever.
Alessandraโs quiet sob ripped at my heart. I reached for her, and when she shrank back, the rip turned into a full-blown chasm.
โDonโt make this any harder than it has to be.โ The words were barely audible. โPlease.โ
My hand dropped to my side as the fist squeezed tighter around my lungs. I didnโt know how we got here, but I damn well wasnโt walking away without a fight.
โI fucked up yesterday,โ I said. โAnd Iโve fucked up many more times before that. But Iโm still your husband, and youโre still my wife.โ
She closed her eyes, her tears now a quiet, steady stream running down her face. โDomโฆโ
โWeโll work this out.โ The thought of living without her was incomprehensible, like asking a heart to stop beating or the stars to give up the night. โI promise.โ
We had to.
Maybe I havenโt expressed it as much as I should have, but Alessandra was an indelible part of me. She had been since the moment I laid eyes on her eleven years ago, though I hadnโt known it at the time.
Without her, there was no me.