‘I’ll call you every day,’ I vowed, as I stood in the middle of Dublin airport with my flight number being called over the intercom. ‘And I’ll send you a million texts.’
‘But it won’t be the same.’
‘I know, but we’ll make it work,’ I promised.
‘How?’
‘We’ll figure it out, okay? But I need you to stop crying,’ I begged. ‘Please.’
‘I can’t help it. My heart is breaking here.’
‘I’ll be home soon,’ I coaxed. ‘It won’t be forever.’
‘No – no! Just no. You can’t leave me, Johnny!’
‘I have to go,’ I groaned. ‘Come on, don’t make this harder than it has to be.’
‘You promise this isn’t a forever goodbye?’
‘I promise,’ I urged, patting his back. ‘Now, come on, Gibs. You’re cutting off my air supply here.’
‘Fine.’ Sniffling, he released the death grip he had on my neck and took a step back, tears streaming down his cheeks.
‘I can’t believe you’re actually crying,’ I laughed, and then quickly sobered my features when that only made him cry harder. ‘It’s six weeks, lad.’
‘They’re going to snap you up,’ he sniffled, wiping his eyes. ‘And I’ll lose my best friend.’
‘You couldn’t lose me if you wanted to, ya big eejit,’ I grumbled, pulling him back in for a hug. ‘Now, pull yourself together,’ I ordered, slapping his back. ‘Sean’s watching you.’
‘Uh, yeah.’ Clearing his throat, he took a step back and puffed his chest out. ‘It’s all good,’ he choked out, forcing a smile that looked like he was in physical pain. ‘I’ll be fine,’ he added, voice breaking on the last note. ‘Ah, fuck it, this is too hard. I’m going out to the car.’ Sobbing, he high-fived me and mumbled, ‘Best of luck, buddy,’ before striding off through the airport, wailing like a banshee.
‘Jesus,’ I muttered, rubbing my jaw, staring after my best friend. ‘The rest of you better not pull that shite on me.’ I turned to stare at my family, and gave my weeping mother a wary look. ‘I’ll be back before the end of summer.’
‘See ya on the telly,’ Tadhg said, fist bumping me. ‘I don’t like rugby, but I figure since it’s you, I’ll watch your games.’
‘Wow.’ I smirked. ‘How generous of you.’
He shrugged. ‘Meh, we’ll see how it goes. I might switch it off if I get bored.’
‘Bye, Johnny,’ Ollie said then, pushing Tadhg aside to hug my legs. ‘Don’t let the airplane crash and explode with you in it, okay?’
Jesus Christ… ‘Yeah, okay.’ I patted his back. ‘I’ll be sure to tell the pilot to not kill me.’
‘Thanks,’ Ollie replied, mollified, as he skipped away. ”Cause I’m going to miss you.’
‘I’m going to miss you too, lad.’
‘I’m proud of you, son,’ Dad said as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. ‘More than I can say.’
‘Thanks, Da.’
‘I love you, Jonathan –’ his voice cracked and he cleared his throat before adding, ‘very much.’
‘I love you, too, Da.’ Slapping him on the back, I took a step back and waited for my next mourner.
‘My baby,’ Mam sobbed, throwing her arms around me. ‘My little boy.’
‘I’m 6’3, Ma,’ I coaxed, squeezing her tightly. ‘And eighteen. I’m a grown man.’
‘I don’t care. You’ll always be my baby,’ she cried, dragging my face down to smack half a dozen red lipstick kisses to my cheeks. ‘Now, you mind yourself over there, ya hear? Don’t be taking any lifts off strangers. And only drink from bottles, not glasses, when you’re out. And don’t be letting any of the older lads on the team lead you astray –’
‘It’s okay, Ma,’ I soothed, resisting the urge to roll my eyes to the heavens. ‘I’ll be in camp most of the time, so you have nothing to worry about.’
‘Don’t be talking to any strangers, either,’ she added. ‘And if they look dodgy and they offer you anything, then you say no. Do you hear me, Jonathon?’
‘Come on, Edel,’ Dad chuckled, physically removing my mother’s arms from my neck. ‘He’ll be fine. You raised him well.’
‘I’ll see you real soon, okay?’ I said, crouching down to speak to Sean who was tugging on the leg of my tracksuit. ‘I’ll bring you back a big present.’
‘Onny,’ he sobbed, lip wobbling. ‘Me want Onny.’
‘I’ll be back,’ I coaxed, feeling my heart crack in my chest. ‘I promise.’ Tipping his chin up, I wiped a tear off his cheek and smiled. ‘Are you going to take care of Sookie for me?’
Sniffling, he nodded.
‘Good lad,’ I told him, ruffling his hair. ‘Now, no more crying because I’m going to phone you up, okay? I’m going to call the house and say ‘Dellie, is my Seany there?”
He smiled. ‘And me say ‘my Onny there?”
‘That’s right.’ Chuckling, I gave him a cuddle and stood back up while I still could and shouldered my carry-on bag. ‘I’ll see you really soon.’
‘Come on, boys.’ Mam sniffled, shepherding the Lynchs like they were her own personal flock of baby lambs. ‘John’s going to buy us something in the toyshop.’
‘Score,’ Ollie and Tadhg hooted as they barreled after my mother, with Sean and my father trailing behind.
‘Yeah, I really need you to not do that,’ I choked out, feeling everything inside of me crack clean open at the sight of her midnight-blue eyes filling up with tears. ‘Otherwise, I’m walking right out of here and coming home with you.’
‘I’m s-sorry.’ With tears streaming down her cheeks, Shannon hiccupped a small sob and walked straight into my arms. ‘It’s j-just –’
‘I know,’ I strangled out, dropping my bag off my shoulder to wrap her up in my arms. Burying my face in her neck, I inhaled the smell of her, desperately trying to keep my shit together. ‘Me too.’
‘I love you,’ she whispered, fingers digging into my neck as she pulled my face down to hers and kissed my lips. ‘A crazy fucking amount.’
‘I love you, too –’ my voice cracked and I exhaled a strangled breath before adding, ‘Most in the world.’ Cupping her face in my hands, I just stared at her, locking away the image of her face in my mind and then coming close to losing it when I thought about how long it would be until I saw her again. ‘I’m coming home,’ I told her. ‘Regardless of what happens.’ Brushing a tear from her face, I kissed her damp cheek. ‘I’m coming back to you, Shannon like the river.’ Heaving out another ragged breath, I stroked her nose with mine. ‘I promise.’
‘You t-take your time,’ she sniffled. ‘You g-go and shine, o-okay?’
I nodded sadly. ‘Okay.’
‘I want you to s-succeed,’ she continued to say, breaking me with her tears, and putting me back together with her words. ‘I want you to k-kick ass, and be the b-best damn outside center this country has ever seen –’ she paused to kiss me. ‘But don’t forget that you’ll always be my 13.’ She sniffled and wiped my cheek with her fingers. ‘My binding 13.’
I choked out a pained laugh, thinking about that stupid bet. ‘You heard about that?’
‘Yeah.’ Half-sobbing/ half-laughing, Shannon smiled and nodded. ‘I won.’
‘Hands down.’ I kissed her puffy lips. ‘Undisputed.’
‘Now, I’m keeping 13,’ she told me. ‘So come home to me when you’re done, okay?’
‘I will.’
