I couldn’t sleep. My brain was on high alert and every muscle in my body was locked tight with tension. Every time I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, I was bombarded with mental images of Shannon lying in that hospital bed, beaten and bloodied.
Her father was out.
He was walking around a free man.
In fucking Ballylaggin of all places.
Furious, I turned onto my side and tried to empty my mind, but it didn’t happen for me. Feeling at a loss, I threw the covers off my body, cringing when Sookie groaned in her sleep. ‘Sorry, baby,’ I whispered, padding across the room in the darkness.
Slipping out of my room, I flicked on the light in the landing and made the trek to the opposite end of the house. It had to have been at least nine years since I last slipped inside my parents’ bedroom in the middle of the night, but that’s where I found myself – at one in the bleeding morning.
‘Da?’ I whispered, nudging his shoulder as I towered over him, feeling like a creep. ‘Da?’
‘Johnny?’ His voice was raspy and thick from sleep. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I need to talk to you,’ I whispered, eyeing my mother’s sleeping form, and praying that she stayed asleep. ‘It’s important.’
‘Go back to sleep, son,’ he grumbled, rolling back onto his side and tightening his hold on my mother. ‘The sky’s not falling, I promise.’
I rolled my eyes at that last part. Fucking Chicken Licken. ‘Da, I really need to talk to you.’
Raising himself up on his elbow, he peered up at me with a sleepy expression. ‘Really?’
I nodded. ‘Really.’
Yawning loudly, he threw the covers off himself and stood up. ‘Alright, son, put the kettle on.’
‘I will,’ I hissed, covering my eyes, ‘when you put some clothes on.’
Three hours and two pots of coffee later, we were still in the kitchen. My father was hunched over the counter in his jocks, nursing a cup of coffee, while I paced the floor like someone jacked up on coke. ‘There has to be another way around it,’ I hissed, scratching my bare stomach. ‘He can’t just get to walk around scot free after everything he put them through.’
‘Family law is complicated, son,’ Dad replied. ‘Every case is different.’
‘That’s not good enough –’ Swiping the coffee pot off the counter, I poured myself another cup and downed it in three gulps. ‘Goddammit!’
‘I’m cutting you off,’ Dad yawned, reaching over and taking the pot away from me. ‘Or else I’m never getting to bed.’
‘You should have seen her tonight,’ I continued, pacing and ranting. ‘Shannon’s face when her brother told her that their father was out.’ I shook my head. ‘She was fucking terrified, Da.’
‘Johnny,’ Dad sighed. ‘There’s nothing you can do.’
‘But there’s something you can do, right?’ I shot back, feeling all jittery and energetic. ‘Can’t you take their case?’
‘It doesn’t work that way,’ he replied with another yawn.
‘Why?’ I demanded. ‘Why doesn’t it work that way?’
Dad exhaled wearily. ‘I’ve already explained this to you a dozen times; the DPP made the decision to take it to trial. They have been appointed a solicitor through legal aid, and besides, Mrs. Lynch made it very clear that my services weren’t needed – or welcome.’
‘Then she’s a fool.’ I snarled, upping my pacing. ‘You’re the best.’
‘I am,’ he agreed with a sleepy nod. ‘But her emotions are clouding her judgment.’
‘She’s incompetent is what she is, Da.’ Stalking over to the window, I rested my hands on the sill and exhaled a furious growl. ‘The woman’s a liability and my girlfriend isn’t safe in that house.’ I swung around to glare at him. ‘None of those kids are safe with her – and especially not now that he’s sniffing around again.’
‘They have social workers on the case,’ Dad explained calmly, as he walked over to the sink and emptied the pot of coffee down the drain. ‘That means house calls and strict supervision.’
‘It doesn’t mean shite, Da, and you know it,’ I shot back, frustrated. ‘She’s not safe in that house.’
‘Then what do you want me to do here, Johnny?’ he asked, rinsing out his cup and placing it on the draining board. ‘All of the Lynch children would have been spoken to after Shannon’s accident. They wouldn’t have been returned to their mother’s care without an investigation and of course, being asked about their mother’s treatment of them. Obviously, the caseworkers involved found some merit in Mrs. Lynch’s ability to parent them.’
‘They’re all brainwashed,’ I hissed. ‘Don’t you get it? They’re fucking terrified of being sent into foster care and separated, so they lie and cover for their parents because they’re under some screwed-up belief that they’re safer where they are!’
‘What’s going on?’ Mam asked, standing in the kitchen doorway with her white dressing gown wrapped around her. ‘It’s half past four in the morning. What are you doing up?’
‘Your son wanted to have a chat,’ Dad explained calmly. ‘Nothing to worry about. Go on back to bed, sweetheart.’
Mam arched a brow and gave my father her ‘do you seriously think I’m buying that shite?’ look before stepping into the kitchen and heading for the kettle. ‘Is Shannon alright, love?’
I stopped pacing and frowned at my mother. ‘How did you –’
‘Know this late-night chat was about Shannon?’ Mam filled in with a knowing smile. ‘Because I know you.’ Making herself a cup of coffee, she joined my father at the island. ‘Now.’ Taking a sip from her cup, she looked at my father. ‘Start talking, sweetheart.’
With a resigned sigh, my father began to recap what we had spoken about, with me interjecting with the parts he left out.
‘And there you have it, Ma,’ I announced when my father was finished. ‘The absolute horror that is our justice system!’ Swiping her mug of coffee off the counter, I tossed it back and moved for the kettle. ‘What am I supposed to do now, huh? Go to sleep in my nice, warm bed and wait for a phone call to tell me she’s back in the hospital – or worse?’ Shaking my head, I poured myself another cup of coffee, splashing water all over the counter in the process. ‘She deserves a hell of a lot better than the life she’s been handed.’
‘I agree,’ Mam said in a sad tone of voice. ‘They all deserve better.’
‘Then do something, Ma,’ I pleaded, feeling at a complete loss. ‘Because I’m going to lose my fucking mind if I have to drop her home from school every day and wait until I get to school the next day to see if she’s made it through the night!’
Tears filled my mother’s eyes when she asked, ‘And her brother? Darren?’
Frustrated, I took a swig of my coffee before answering. ‘He doesn’t know anything about them,’ I bit out. ‘He’s been gone for years. He’s all about his mother’s best interests and not the kids. Joey doesn’t trust him, and neither do I.’
Mam and Dad looked at each other then, and I felt like I was being left out of a private discussion that was taking place without words. ‘What are you thinking?’ I asked, anxious. ‘Can you do something?’
Dad sighed heavily. ‘What do you want us to do, son?’
‘I want you to nail that bastard to the wall,’ I told him. ‘I want justice for those kids. I want justice for my girlfriend. It’s not enough that he gets to walk away from this when they can’t.’ I turned to my mother. ‘They’re completely fucked up, Ma. He wrecked them!’
Both of my parents were silent for so long that I gave up on them answering me. ‘Forget it,’ I growled, tossing my cup in the sink. ‘I shouldn’t have bothered.’
Stalking towards the hallway, I halted in my tracks when Mam spoke. ‘We’ll do what we can, Johnny.’
I turned to look at them. ‘What does that mean?’
‘It means we’ll do what we can to help,’ Dad explained calmly, resting his hand on top of Mam’s. ‘Now, go upstairs and try and get a couple hours sleep before school.’
Feeling dejected, I headed back upstairs to my room with my shoulders slumped and my stomach in knots. The birds were singing outside when I walked back into my room and sank down on the edge of my bed to stare out the window at the dark sky. Grabbing my phone off my bedside locker, I unlocked it and scrolled through my messages, reading and re-reading every text she had sent me until I had driven myself half demented. ‘Fuck it,’ I muttered to myself as I tapped into my phonebook and brought up her contact. I had my finger on the call button when my phone started to vibrate in my hand, signaling an incoming call from Shannon.
Heart racing, I clicked accept and put the phone to my ear. ‘Shan?’
‘Hi, Johnny,’ came her hushed voice on the other line. ‘Did I wake you?’
‘No, I was awake,’ I replied, exhaling a shaky breath. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m okay,’ she whispered and I felt my shoulders sag in relief. ‘I just…’
‘You just what, Shan?’
‘I wanted to hear your voice,’ she admitted croakily. ‘Is that weird?’
‘Well, if it is, then I’m a weirdo, too.’ Lying back on my bed, I folded an arm behind my head. ‘Because I was just about to call you.’
She exhaled heavily into the phone. ‘Really?’
‘Really,’ I confirmed gruffly. ‘I was thinking about you all night.’
‘Me, too,’ she replied. ‘You, I mean,’ she hurried to amend. ‘I was thinking about you all night– not me.’
‘I know what you meant,’ I told her, smiling to myself at her cute verbal blunder. ‘Are you getting up now? It’s only –’ Craning my neck, I checked the time on my alarm clock before saying, ‘A quarter to five.’
‘I thought you might be going to the gym,’ she whispered. ‘I was…well, I was going to ask you if I could come and just wait in the car?’
A trickle of unease crept up my spine. ‘What’s happening, baby?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Shan…’
She blew out a harsh breath. ‘I’m scared.’
I sat straight up. ‘Do you want me to come and get you now?’
‘No, no, no,’ she hurried to say, tone hushed. ‘There’s nothing wrong. I’m just nervous.’ She exhaled another shaky breath before saying, ‘Can you stay on the phone with me? You don’t have to talk. I just…I feel better when I know you’re close.’
Closing my eyes, I flopped back down and swallowed a furious growl. ‘Of course,’ I managed to say instead, keeping my tone gentle. Settling under my duvet, I whispered, ‘I’m right here, baby.’
