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Chapter no 17

Keeping 13 (Boys of Tommen #2)

I had no explanation for how my life had unraveled to the point where I was showering a semi-comatose, drugged-up hurler other than this: I fell in love with a girl who had more layers and complications attached to her life than a Rubikโ€™s cube.

A Rubikโ€™s cube, I could solve.

Shannon Lynchโ€™s life, not so much.

โ€˜Did you get under his arms?โ€™ Gibsie asked as he stood fully-clothed in my shower, holding a very naked Joey the hurler up. โ€˜Make sure you get the creases.โ€™

โ€˜How is this happening to us, Gibs?โ€™ I asked my best friend. โ€˜One minute, weโ€™re playing rugby for Tommen, hanging out at Biddies with the lads and running drills, and the next, weโ€™re hosing puke off a hurler from BCS.โ€™ Shaking my head at the absolute lunacy of the situation, I squirted another dollop of body wash on Joeyโ€™s chest and aimed the shower hose, careful to avoid the bruising. โ€˜How did we fall into this, lad?โ€™

โ€˜You love his sister, and I love his sisterโ€™s best friend,โ€™ Gibsie replied, scrubbing Joey down with a sponge. โ€˜Itโ€™s safe to say that pussy got us into this, Kav.โ€™

Wasnโ€™t that the fucking truthโ€ฆ

โ€˜Here,โ€™ Gibs said as he turned Joey in his arms. โ€˜Make sure you get the back of him again.โ€™

Bile rose in my throat as my eyes took in the sight of bruise after discolored bruise, and scar after faded scar on his body.

His entire back wasย litteredย with a mixture of blemishes, faint lines, and scars.

Jesus Christ.

I studied his bare skin with cool, calculated eyes. It didnโ€™t take a genius to figure out who had put those marks on his body.

Their piece of shit father.

Maybe he used a belt, or maybe he used something worse. Fuck, I didnโ€™t know. But he had scarsย everywhere.

How the fuck had this gone unnoticed?

What about his girlfriend? Or their mother? His trainers?

Did nobodyย seeย him?

โ€˜This is so wrong,โ€™ Gibsie grumbled, voicing my thoughts aloud. He turned him back to face me and wrapped an arm around his chest to hold him up. โ€˜So fucking wrong, Johnny.โ€™

โ€˜Yeah, lad,โ€™ I bit out, careful not to spray the areas on his stomach with fresh bruises. โ€˜I know.โ€™

โ€˜Stop,โ€™ Joey groaned, shivering violently, as he pushed against the arm Gibsie had wrapped around him. โ€˜Iโ€™m gonna be โ€“โ€™

Gibsie swung them both around just in time for Joey to shower the wall with a fresh coating of chunks. โ€˜Lad,โ€™ Gibs said as he scrubbed the sponge over Joeyโ€™s face. โ€˜You donโ€™t ever mix your drugs.โ€™

โ€˜Like youโ€™d know,โ€™ I scoffed.

โ€˜Well, I presume itโ€™s similar to mixing your drink,โ€™ Gibsie shot back. โ€˜A big, fat no-no!โ€™

โ€˜Itโ€™s better he gets it all out of his system.โ€™ Leaning around them both, I hosed down the vomit on the wall before retackling the never-ending stream of vomit coming from Joey. โ€˜Theyโ€™d only pump him out in the hospital anyway.โ€™

โ€˜Exactly,โ€™ Gibsie agreed, patting Joeyโ€™s cheek. โ€˜Consider this your own personal, free-range stomach pumping session โ€“ Gibsie style.โ€™

โ€˜Fuck off, ya creepy bastard,โ€™ Joey groaned, shaking from head to toe.

โ€˜Normally, I would take offense to that,โ€™ Gibsie huffed. โ€˜But considering weโ€™re in a shower together and your naked ass is pressed to my dick, Iโ€™m going to let that comment slide, because I, too, find this situation slightly creepy.โ€™

โ€˜Heโ€™s saving your neck,โ€™ I growled. โ€˜We both are, so why donโ€™t you show your appreciation by shutting the fuck up and puking out the poison.โ€™

โ€˜Fuck you, Kav โ€“โ€™

More vomiting.

โ€˜Thatโ€™s it,โ€™ Gibsie coaxed, dabbing his mouth once more. โ€˜Puke out all the expensive, class A drugs. Good job. Let the water wash your sins and wages down the drain.โ€™

My phone began to ring loudly in my pocket and I frowned, my eyes shifting to Gibsie. โ€˜Youโ€™re here.โ€™

Gibsie rolled his eyes. โ€˜Iโ€™m not the only one with your number.โ€™

Wiping my hand on my t-shirt, I slipped my hand into my pocket and dragged out my phone. โ€˜Shite.โ€™ I stared at the name flashing on the screen and groaned. โ€˜Itโ€™s my Ma.โ€™

โ€˜Oh, Jesus,โ€™ Gibsie joined me in groaning. โ€˜She knows, doesnโ€™t she? Of course she fucking does.โ€™ He continued to scrub Joey down as he ranted. โ€˜She probably has a tracker on your ass.โ€™

โ€˜Get off me,โ€™ Joey slurred, slapping at Gibsieโ€™s hand. โ€˜Christ.โ€™

โ€˜Keep him quiet,โ€™ I warned, eye-balling Gibsie as I clicked accept and put the phone on loudspeaker. โ€˜Ma, howโ€™s it going?โ€™

โ€˜Johnny, love,โ€™ Mam sighed down the phone. โ€˜Are you alright? You took a long time answering me.โ€™

โ€˜Iโ€™m grand, Ma. Whatโ€™s up?โ€™

โ€˜Oh, love, I was calling to let you know that I might notย โ€“โ€™

โ€˜Stop!โ€™ Joey groaned loudly. โ€˜It burns.โ€™

Gibsie and I both froze and stared at each other in horror.

โ€˜What burns?โ€™ Mam demanded. โ€˜Are you okay?โ€™

โ€˜Fuck me!โ€™ Joey continued to flinch and hiss. โ€˜Itโ€™s too hot.โ€™

Glaring at Gibsie, I mouthed, โ€˜Shut him up.โ€™

Gibsie gaped back at me, whisper-hissing, โ€˜How?โ€™

Give me strengthโ€ฆย I aimed the hose at his face and mouthed, โ€˜With your hand, genius!โ€™

With water spluttering from his own lips, Gibsie slapped a hand over Joeyโ€™s mouth and I nodded in approval. Leaning over the tub, I adjusted the setting on the shower and lowered the temperature of the water. โ€˜Happy now?โ€™ I mouthed, glaring at Joey as I hosed him down.

โ€˜Johnny? Is Gerard messing with the cooker again?โ€™ Mam asked, sounding flustered. โ€˜Tell that boy he better not touch the matches. Thereโ€™s a hole melted into the extractor fan from his last outing with flammables.โ€™

โ€˜That wasย you!โ€˜ Gibsie mouthed, outraged.

โ€˜No, Ma, heโ€™s not cooking.โ€™ Shaking my head, I looked up to the ceiling and blurted the first thing that came to mind, โ€˜That was just some fella on the television.โ€™

โ€˜The television?โ€™

โ€˜Yeah, weโ€™re, ah โ€“โ€™ Narrowing my eyes, I aimed the hose at a stubborn chunk of puke on Joeyโ€™s shoulder. โ€˜Weโ€™re watching a film.โ€™

โ€˜Oh, Johnny,โ€™ Mam grumbled. โ€˜Not one of those dirty ones. The doctors warned you to avoid interfering with yourself until your stitches heal completely.โ€™

Gibsie snickered.

Jesus Christ.ย I let my head fall back in silent despair. โ€˜No, Ma, weโ€™re watchingโ€ฆโ€™

โ€˜Youโ€™re watching what, Johnny?โ€™

โ€˜My Left Foot!โ€™ Gibsie blurted out loudly. โ€˜For the leaving cert, Mammy K!โ€™

โ€˜Iโ€™m doing Gatsby, ya bollox,โ€™ย I mouthed, glaring.

โ€˜Ah, thatโ€™s lovely,โ€™ Mam cooed, mollified. โ€˜Good boy, Gerard! Very educational.โ€™

Gibsie arched a brow and grinned.

โ€˜Did you need something?โ€™ I asked, getting back to the point. โ€˜Because Iโ€™m trying to watch Christy Brown here.โ€™

โ€˜Oh, right, well hereโ€™s the thing, love,โ€™ Mam said, tone hesitant. I rolled my eyes with impatience and waited for her to get to the point. โ€˜I might not make it back home tonight.โ€™

Thank you, Jesus!ย โ€˜Thatโ€™s a shame.โ€™

โ€˜Traffic was insane getting up here and the thought of driving back down in bumper to bumper backlog is more than I can handle.โ€™

Gibsie gleamed in approval.

โ€˜Then you should definitely stop over at the old house with Da,โ€™ I replied, tone soothing. โ€˜Youโ€™re tired, Ma โ€“ too tired to be making that journey.โ€™

โ€˜On your own in the dark,โ€™ Gibsie offered. โ€˜Alone and female.โ€™

โ€˜Gibs,โ€™ I warned.

โ€˜Sounds too dangerous if you ask me, Mammy K,โ€™ he continued, ignoring me. โ€˜Driving through Dublin city at night, all by your lonesome.โ€™

โ€˜Sheโ€™s from Ballymun, ya spanner,โ€™ I grumbled. โ€˜Sheโ€™d take your culchie arse out in a heartbeat.โ€™

โ€˜Boys!โ€™ Mam snapped and then sighed heavily down the line. โ€˜Iโ€™ll be home no later than lunchtime tomorrow to take you to your physio appointmentโ€ฆ if youโ€™re sure youโ€™ll be okay without me โ€“โ€™

โ€˜Iโ€™m sure,โ€™ I quickly interjected, leaving out the snippet that I had been just fine without either of them for years. โ€˜Iโ€™ll be grand.โ€™ Leaning over the tub, I reached up and switched off the shower. โ€˜We both will.โ€™ Grabbing two towels off the rack, I tossed one to Gibs and tucked the other under my arm. โ€˜No worries.โ€™

โ€˜I love you, Johnny,โ€™ Mam finally said.

โ€˜Yeah โ€“โ€™ Balancing my phone on the side of the tub, I draped the towel over Joeyโ€™s shoulders before snatching my phone back up. โ€˜Love ya, too, Ma.โ€™

โ€˜Oh, before I forgetโ€“โ€™

โ€˜Gotta go, Ma. Bye, bye, bye โ€“โ€™ Ending the call, I slipped my phone back into my pocket and exhaled a huge sigh. โ€˜Thank Christ for that.โ€™

โ€˜Iโ€™ll say,โ€™ Gibsie agreed, dropping his hand from Joeyโ€™s mouth. โ€˜Iโ€™d say weโ€™re in the clear, lad.โ€™

โ€˜Jesus,โ€™ Joey hissed, teeth chattering. โ€˜Youโ€™re a mammyโ€™s boy, arenโ€™t ya?โ€™

โ€˜Do you want to be gagged again?โ€™ I narrowed my eyes. โ€˜Because that can be arranged.โ€™

โ€˜Fuck you both,โ€™ Joey mumbled, breathing hard. โ€˜Donโ€™t do me any favors.โ€™

My mouth fell open. โ€˜Are you shitting me right now, Joey?โ€™

โ€˜I think the word youโ€™re looking for isย thankย you both,โ€™ Gibsie interjected cheerfully. He cast me a meaningful look and shook his head in warning. โ€˜And you are more thanย welcome, Joseph.โ€™

Holding my tongue and reining in my temper, I took a step back and watched as Gibsie helped him out of the tub.

โ€˜Donโ€™t fucking touch me!โ€™ Roughly shoving Gibsie away, Joey staggered backwards and collapsed on the floor. โ€˜I donโ€™t need your help.โ€™

โ€˜Well, tough shit because youโ€™re getting it,โ€™ I snapped. โ€˜Whether you want it or not.โ€™

โ€˜Youโ€™re a little fucked up, Joey the hurler,โ€™ Gibsie mused. โ€˜You know that, right?โ€™

โ€˜Yeah, Iโ€™m fucked up,โ€™ Joey sneered, shaking from head to toe. โ€˜And youโ€™re just plain fucked in the head.โ€™

โ€˜Indeed,โ€™ Gibsie agreed solemnly.

Breathing hard, Joey dropped his head in his hands and pulled on his hair. โ€˜Whereโ€™s my phone?โ€™ Exhaling a choked breath, he hissed, โ€˜I need myย phone. I need to call myโ€ฆfuck!โ€™

โ€˜You donโ€™t have a phone anymore, lad โ€“ or a wallet,โ€™ Gibsie replied calmly. โ€˜Your sister said you sold it, right along with your dignity, for that horrendous pain youโ€™re in.โ€™ Grabbing another towel off the rack, Gibsie tossed it on his lap, covering him up. โ€˜All that shit flushing its way out of your system right now? Everything you puked out of your body? It cost you exactly one wallet, one phone, and one soul. Pretty high price, huh? I sure hope it was worth it.โ€™ He patted his shoulder. โ€˜Now, if youโ€™ll both excuse me, I need a shower of my own.โ€™ Peeling his drenched shirt over his head, Gibsie tossed it in the laundry hamper next to the door before strolling out of the bathroom.

I half expected Joey Lynch to erupt right there in the middle of my bathroom, but he didnโ€™t do a thing. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his knees and dropped his head. โ€˜Fuck.โ€™ Cupping the back of his neck with one hand, he rocked back and forth, muttering the word โ€˜fuckโ€™ over and over.

โ€˜What did you take?โ€™

Silence.

โ€˜Okay.โ€™ Lowering myself onto the edge of the tub, I rubbed a hand down my thigh and tried a different approach. โ€˜Why did you do it?โ€™

โ€˜Donโ€™t judge me,โ€™ he hissed, swinging his gaze to meet me. โ€˜Donโ€™t you dare fucking judge meโ€ฆโ€™ Squeezing his eyes shut, he balled his hands into fists and made a hitched sound in his throat as his body trembled violently. โ€˜Not until youโ€™ve been in my shoes. Seen what Iโ€™ve seen. Heard what Iโ€™ve heard.โ€™

I remained still as a statue and resisted the urge to reach over and steady him. โ€˜Iโ€™m not judging you, lad.โ€™

โ€˜No?โ€™ Tortured green eyes locked on mine. โ€˜You saw her. Saw whatย heย did to her. And I didnโ€™tโ€ฆI couldnโ€™t โ€“โ€™ His words broke off and he dropped his head in his hands. โ€˜Fuck it. Whatโ€™s the point?โ€™

โ€˜Itโ€™s not your fault,โ€™ I replied slowly, brows furrowing. โ€˜You have to know that.โ€™

More silence.

โ€˜I didnโ€™t mean it,โ€™ I tried again. โ€˜What I said on the phone? It was my panic talking, lad.โ€™

Nothing.

His lack of response caused a trickle of unease to creep up my spine. โ€˜You are not responsible for your fatherโ€™s actions,โ€™ I repeated, fighting down the huge swell of sympathy flooding my body. โ€˜Youโ€™re not, so donโ€™t fuck up your life and your future by thinking you are.โ€™

Dropping his gaze to his knees, he whispered, โ€˜I couldnโ€™t protect her.โ€™ Shaking his head, he exhaled a broken sob. โ€˜I couldnโ€™t protect any of them.โ€™

โ€˜Thatโ€™s not your job.โ€™ My heart hammered wildly in my chest.ย Jesus. I felt like I was drowning in his pain. โ€˜Youโ€™re not supposed to protect them.ย Theyโ€™re supposed to protect them. Theyโ€™re supposed to protectย allย of you, lad. Including you.โ€™

โ€˜I thought she was dead,โ€™ he confessed in a voice so low it was barely audible. โ€˜All the blood? On the floor? On the walls? On my clothes? Coming out of her mouth? Those gargling sounds she was making because she couldnโ€™t breathe? Because she was fuckingย dying! And then the silence? The sound ofย nothingย at all?โ€™ He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and hissed, โ€˜I canโ€™t get the image out of my head โ€“ and believe me, Iโ€™ve tried.โ€™

Jesus Christ.

Reeling, I sat there, cold to the bone, and listened to his truth.

โ€˜I couldnโ€™t get him off me,โ€™ he strangled out, chest heaving. โ€˜I knew she needed help โ€“ย I fuckingย knewย it โ€“ but I couldnโ€™t fight him off. I couldnโ€™t doย anything!โ€™ Shaking his head, he let out a humorless laugh as tears trickled down his cheeks. โ€˜And my brother,ย myย eleven-year-old baby brother, had to get him off me.โ€™ Sniffing, he wiped his nose with the back of his hand and choked out a harsh sob. โ€˜Whileย sheย stood by and didย nothing.โ€™

โ€˜Your mother?โ€™

โ€˜Who else.โ€™

I let that sink in for a moment before asking, โ€˜And now?โ€™ My voice was thick with emotion, but I forced myself to keep my shit together and continue. โ€˜What happens now?โ€™

โ€˜The same thing that always happens,โ€™ he muttered. โ€˜Nothing.โ€™

โ€˜With your Ma?โ€™ I pushed, pressing my hand to my knee to stop it from shaking. โ€˜I mean, the Gards obviously know what your Da was doing to ye, and theyโ€™ll arrest him when they find him, but her?โ€™ I shook my head, struggling to take it all in. โ€˜Thereโ€™s no consequences for taking a backseat? Youโ€™re just supposed to go back and live with her?โ€™ I swallowed down my anger and hissed, โ€˜In that house?โ€™

Joey shrugged. โ€˜Didnโ€™t you hear? Sheโ€™s a victim, too. She needs to beย supported.โ€™

โ€˜Shannon told me,โ€™ I muttered, rubbing my jaw. โ€˜Thatโ€™s so messed up, lad.โ€™

โ€˜Yeah, well, itโ€™s on Darren now,โ€™ Joey spat, blinking back his tears. โ€˜He can figure it all out because Iโ€™m done. I c-canโ€™t f-fucking โ€“โ€™ his words broke off and he exhaled another hitched sob. โ€˜D-do this anymore,โ€™ he finished with a sniffle. โ€˜I c-canโ€™t forget and I wonโ€™tย everย forgive.โ€™

I didnโ€™t know what to say to that. I didnโ€™t know what to say to any of it. Nothing in my life had prepared me for this conversation. For these people and their pain.

โ€˜Your sister loves you,โ€™ I told him, feeling the need to tell him that, so that he knew at least one person in his world cared.

โ€˜My sister lovesย you,โ€™ he replied wearily.

โ€˜She needs you,โ€™ I added, ignoring the way my heart slammed wildly in my chest. โ€˜And from what I hear, your little brothers need you too, lad.โ€™

โ€˜Because Iโ€™m foundations,โ€™ he choked out. โ€˜Thatโ€™s it โ€“ thatโ€™s all I am to them.โ€™

โ€˜Foundations?โ€™ I frowned. โ€˜What does that mean?โ€™

โ€˜It means Iโ€™m the guy who goes around cleaning up everyone else in my familyโ€™s shit.โ€™ He dropped his head and clasped the back of his neck. โ€˜It means Iโ€™m the fucking mother.โ€™

โ€˜Well,โ€™ I exhaled heavily and stretched my legs out, trying to ease the burn in my thighs. โ€˜Youโ€™re one hell of a mother, Joey the hurler.โ€™

โ€˜Someone has to be,โ€™ he muttered as he ran a hand through his hair.

โ€˜Well, you did a good job,โ€™ I told him. โ€˜And youโ€™ve come too far to throw it all away on a temporary high, lad.โ€™

โ€˜The fuck would you know about it?โ€™ he sneered.

โ€˜I know youโ€™re trying to escape,โ€™ I shot back. โ€˜That much is perfectly clear. You want to forget about the shite for a while โ€“ and Jesus, I donโ€™t blame you โ€“ but itโ€™s temporary. Itโ€™ notย real,ย Joey. And itโ€™s not going to fix anything. All of your problems will still be there waiting for you, regardless of how much powder you snort up your nose or how many tablets you toss back your throat. You can smoke all the weed you want, drown yourself in a bottle of whiskey, shoot yourself up with every drug known to mankind and it wonโ€™t change a damn thing because life willย stillย be waiting in the wings to kick your ass when you come to. I also know that if you keep going down this road, youโ€™ll get to a point where you wonโ€™t be able to find your way back.โ€™

โ€˜Easy for you to say,โ€™ he shot back, tone bitter. โ€˜Youโ€™ve never seen a hard day in your life.โ€™

โ€˜Youโ€™re absolutely right,โ€™ I agreed. โ€˜I donโ€™t know what youโ€™re going through. I have no fucking clue what it feels like to be you, and Iโ€™m damn glad for that. But I have my own demons, lad. My own choices I had to make, where it would have been so much easier to pop a few tablets to kill the pain when my body was falling the fuck apart from the inside out, or use steroids to build up my body instead of grafting in the gym six hours a day. I know that sounds like nothing in the grand scheme of things, not compared to your family shite, but I didnโ€™t do it, Joey, not one single time. Because Iย knewย that putting that shite in my body would only be a choice for so long before itย stoppedย being aย choiceย and started being aย necessity.โ€™

โ€˜Shit,โ€™ he choked out, and then laughed humorlessly. โ€˜Where the fuck were you when I was sixteen, Kavanagh?โ€™ Sniffing, he wiped his eyes and sighed dejectedly. โ€˜Couldโ€™ve done with the pep talk back then.โ€™

โ€˜Wrong school,โ€™ I offered with a halfhearted shrug.

โ€˜Wrong life,โ€™ he whispered.

I sighed heavily. โ€˜Yeah.โ€™

There was a long stretch of silence before I spoke again.

โ€˜Can I help?โ€™ I finally asked, feeling like a spare prick. โ€˜Can I do something forย you?โ€™

โ€˜Yeah.โ€™ With shaky hands, Joey clutched the basin of the sink and pulled himself to his feet. โ€˜You can loan me some clothes.โ€™

We both knew thatย clothesย wasnโ€™t what I meant, but I didnโ€™t push him โ€“ not when he seemed to be clinging to the edge.

Without saying another word, I stood up and walked back into my room. Pulling random items of clothing out of my dresser, I tossed them into the bathroom and left him to it.

Confused and on edge, I walked stiffly over to my window and stared out into the darkness while I waited for him to come back out, watching as droplets of rain pelted against the pane of glass.

So this is their life,ย I thought to myself,ย this is what she was hiding from you.

Gripping the window sill, I ignored the pain in my body and concentrated on my whirling thoughts, desperately trying to find a solution for something I wasnโ€™t entirely sure could be solved. One thing I knew for sure was that I could never untangle myself from this girl. And whatโ€™s more, I didnโ€™t want to.

I knew this wasnโ€™t good. Jesus, a blind man could see I needed to run far,ย farย away from this situation, but Iย couldnโ€™t. Fucked up as it all seemed, I was quite content to remain right here, wrapped up in her personal breakdown. More than that, I wanted to wade in and do something, anything, to help her brother. It wasnโ€™t even just about Shannon for me anymore. It was about Joey and three other little kids I hadnโ€™t even laid eyes on. I wanted to help them all. My conscience demanded nothing less from me.

Several minutes passed by before the bathroom door swung open and Joey appeared in the doorway. He was dressed in a pair of my grey sweats and a white t-shirt, and looking like absolute shite.ย Clean shite, I mentally acknowledged,ย minus the vomit and smell.

โ€˜Thanks for the clothes,โ€™ he muttered, eyes bloodshot, face deathly pale. โ€˜Do you have a phone I could use?โ€™

My jaw ticked. I wasnโ€™t sure about this. Was he planning on busting out of here? โ€˜Why?โ€™

โ€˜Because I need to call my girlfriend.โ€™

I eyed him warily. โ€˜Your girlfriend?โ€™

โ€˜Yeah, my girlfriend,โ€™ he hissed. โ€˜Can I use your phone or not?โ€™

Uncertain, I took my phone out and handed it to him. โ€˜You donโ€™t have to leave. You can stay, lad. For as long as you need.โ€™

Ignoring me, Joey leaned against the dresser and stabbed his trembling finger against the keypad of my phone, messing up repeatedly to the point where he threw his head back and roared. โ€˜Come the fuck on!โ€™

โ€˜Whatโ€™s her number?โ€™ I asked, taking the phone from him. โ€˜Call it out and Iโ€™ll dial it for you.โ€™

โ€˜I warned her off you, you know,โ€™ he said, handing the phone back to me. โ€˜Told her youโ€™d be leaving โ€“ told her not to get her hopes up on you.โ€™

I shrugged, not one bit surprised given my current popularity status with his family. โ€˜Whatโ€™s her number?โ€™

He muttered a string of numbers before saying, โ€˜Donโ€™t let her down. Whatever youโ€™re doing, Kavanagh, donโ€™t fuck my sister over.โ€™

I tapped in the number and pressed call before handing it back to him and saying, โ€˜I wonโ€™t.โ€™

With wary, mistrustful eyes, Joey placed the phone to his ear, body shaking and jolting violently. โ€˜Aoife?โ€™ he whispered a few seconds later. โ€˜Itโ€™s me.โ€™

Whatever his girlfriend said in response to that caused Joey to shudder.

Like visibly fuckingย shudder.

โ€˜I know,โ€™ he whispered, clenching his eyes shut. โ€˜I know, okay? Iย knowย I promised. I fucked up.โ€™ Turning his back to me, he ran a hand through his hair and choked out, โ€˜Iโ€™m so fucking sorry, baby.โ€™

Feeling uncomfortable, I decided to go downstairs in search of the others and leave Joey Lynch to his phone call/groveling. I wasnโ€™t sure I wanted to hear it anyway, not when my head was already bursting to the seams with more information than I could process.

Gibsie was shoveling coal into an already roaring fire when I walked into the sitting room, and the girls were curled up on the couch. Correction; Claire was curled up on the couch with her legs tucked beneath her. Shannon, on the other hand, was sitting as straight as a poker on the edge of the seat beside her friend. Gibsie had obviously dragged the couch over to the fire, something we always did when the weather was bad out, and I was grateful. I wanted her to be warm. Iย neededย the peace of mind.

I cleared my throat before stepping inside, making a conscious effort not to startle her. She jumped clean out of her skin anyway and sprang off the couch, but the small smile she gave me assured me that I was a welcome surprise. โ€˜Is he okay?โ€™ she asked, wide-eyed and panicked.

Not even close.ย Nodding, I forced a smile.

โ€˜Oh, thank god.โ€™ Her small shoulders sagged and she pressed a hand to her chest. โ€˜Are you sure?โ€™

No.

โ€˜Heโ€™s sure,โ€™ Gibsie answered for me. Placing the shovel back into the coal bucket, he stood up, stretched his arms over his head, and winked over at me. โ€˜Allโ€™s well in the world again.โ€™

โ€˜See?โ€™ Claire added, giving her an encouraging smile. โ€˜I told you that you had nothing to worry about.โ€™

Shannon didnโ€™t look so convinced. Her gaze flicked between Gibs and Claire before returning to me. โ€˜Areย youย sure?โ€™ she asked, looking at me with those haunting blue eyes.

I opened my mouth to lie, to tell her what she needed to hear, that everything was okay and she had nothing to worry about, but the words, โ€˜No, Iโ€™m not sure,โ€™ came out instead. I fucked it even further by saying, โ€˜Heโ€™s in a bad way, actually. A really bad way,โ€™ and then I topped it off with, โ€˜Iโ€™m worried about him.โ€™

Shannonโ€™s face fell and both Claire and Gibsie groaned in unison.

โ€˜Nice one, Cap,โ€™ Gibsie muttered. โ€˜We only spent the last hour telling her different.โ€™

โ€˜Yeah, very comforting, Johnny,โ€™ Claire added sulkily.

โ€˜Well, Iโ€™m not going toย lieย to her,โ€™ I snapped. Running a hand through my hair in frustration, I looked at Shannon. โ€˜Iโ€™m not going to do that, okay?โ€™

Shannon nodded stiffly. โ€˜I should go check on him.โ€™ She hurried past me, only to pause in the doorway. โ€˜Is it okay if I go up and check โ€“โ€™

โ€˜Go,โ€™ I told her before she finished. โ€˜Donโ€™t ask for my permission, Shannon. You donโ€™t need it.โ€™

She nodded once more before slipping out of the room.

โ€˜Maybe once in a while, you could attempt to twist the truth,โ€™ Gibsie offered, waving a finger around aimlessly. โ€˜You know, romance a situation up a tad to spare feelings and unnecessaryย stress.โ€™

โ€˜By lying to her?โ€™ I narrowed my eyes at him. โ€˜Yeah, lad, that sounds like real solid advice. Tell me how thatโ€™s going to work for me?โ€™

Gibsie shrugged. โ€˜Fuck if I know, lad, but that girl is buckling under the weight of some pretty heavy issues right now, so Iโ€™m thinking a few white lies might be easier to take than the blunt truth.โ€™

I opened my mouth to protest but stopped myself. โ€˜Youโ€™re right.โ€™

โ€˜Yeah, I know,โ€™ Gibsie mused. โ€˜Contrary to popular belief โ€“ mostly my motherโ€™s โ€“ it does happen sometimes.โ€™

Theย Crazy Frog/Axel Fย song blasted through the room then, loud and annoying as fuck, and causing Gibsie to reach for his phone and me to groan in sheer fucking despair.

โ€˜Itโ€™s mine,โ€™ Claire chirped, holding her phone up. She glanced at the phone and grimaced. โ€˜Itโ€™s my Mamย again.โ€™

โ€˜Donโ€™t tell her that youโ€™re with me,โ€™ Gibsie warned. โ€˜Whatever you do, babe, doย notย tell that woman that Iโ€™m with you.โ€™

Claire glared at him. โ€˜Who else would I be with? Besides, thereโ€™s no point since she saw me getting into your car!โ€™

He shrugged uncomfortably. โ€˜Sheโ€™ll kill you.โ€™

โ€˜Yeah, Gerard, I know,โ€™ she hissed before clicking receive and putting the phone to her ear. โ€˜Hi, Mam โ€“ yeah, I know what you saidโ€ฆyeah, I know, Mam, but itโ€™s not what you thinkโ€ฆโ€™ Putting her head down, Claire hurried past me, speaking so low and fast that I couldnโ€™t make out a word of it.

โ€˜Why will her mother kill her?โ€™ I asked, eyeing Gibsie with suspicion. โ€˜What have you done that you havenโ€™t told me about?โ€™

Looking everywhere but my face, Gibsie muttered something about โ€˜a huge fucking mistakeโ€™ย before bolting after her.

I hoped for Gibsieโ€™s sake he didnโ€™t makeย thatย kind of mistake with Claire because Hughie Biggs had a temper on him when the notion took him, and I wasnโ€™t in any fit state to stop them from killing each other.

โ€˜Well, shite,โ€™ I mumbled, staring after them both. โ€˜The drama just keeps on coming.โ€™

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