Debbie and I are awake long into the night once again discussing the pros and cons of Finn and Mia buying that house. She’s convinced that if she can get Finn alone, she can talk him into selling it to us after all. But Mia has the same fiery determination that I’ve seen one too many times in my wife. When they put their minds to something, it isn’t easy talking either of them out of it. I fear this isn’t a battle Debbie can win.

Earlier we had words over her comment about them starting a family. I know Debbie didn’t mean it to come out as it did, and had Mia not stormed out, she’d have heard Debbie apologise. Sometimes she says things without thinking but she means no harm. However, Mia is a hothead and their spat will make the atmosphere around here awkward for a while.

Truth be told, I think Mia was gunning for an argument. There was something combative about the way she jangled their house keys in front of us. She wasn’t just celebrating the purchase of a home, she was celebrating getting one over on Debbie.

‘Wouldn’t you rather the house belonged to one of us than someone else?’ I ask.

‘I suppose so,’ she concedes, but she hates losing.

I also warned Debbie that if she doesn’t start trying to win Mia round and make her realise she’s not the enemy,

then she will lose Finn. He will choose keeping his wife happy over pleasing us, as is the natural way of things. But Finn has also got his work cut out for him because Mia isn’t always the easiest girl to please. He calls her ambitious and opinionated, but I’d describe her as pushy and always wanting something she doesn’t have. It’s probably hereditary. I’ve only met her parents a handful of times but they give the impression they’re never happy with their lot either. Perhaps that’s why they’re on a five-year global sailing adventure: they want to see for themselves if the grass is greener on the other side of the world.

I’d never admit this to Debbie but I’m a little envious of Mia’s mum and dad. I’ve thought about escaping many a time when the weight of my worries pushes me deep into the ground. In those moments, I’d give anything just to disappear. But in reality, I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave Debbie alone unless I absolutely had to. We need each other too much.

There’s a gnawing physical pain in my stomach tonight that won’t go away, so when Debbie eventually drifts off to sleep, I pad out of the bedroom, make my way downstairs into the dining room and take a couple of tablets from a bottle hidden in the drinks cabinet. Then I wash them down with a neat Jim Beam bourbon whiskey. It’s now early morning and, at this time, it’s either my last drink of the day or my first. I don’t feel so guilty when I think of it like that.

I don’t have a problem with booze, but I also know that it’s become more than a habit lately. My reliance on it to remove all the sharp edges from my life began soon after Debbie’s diagnosis. Then it heightened when the business started slipping away from me. Bigger, better, cheaper construction companies came along with lower overheads and quotes and there was no place for craftsmen like me.

I pour another dram and promise myself that it’ll be the last for today. I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol or my secret stash of pills helping my stomach pain to ease. Either way,

it’s a temporary fix – especially when I unplug my phone from its charger and press play on the video that Finn sent me. The hairs on my arms rise as he walks through each room and I set to roughly calculating the work that needs to be done. Finally I give it up. There’s too much to distract me. I need to see it in person.

There might be a silver lining amongst all this cloud though. Perhaps this project will be what Finn and I need to bring us closer together. The distance between father and son began the day he arrived in our world, and I admit I’m partly at fault for that.

I place my phone back on charge, enter the bathroom and clean my teeth for the second time tonight, taking a long swig of mint-flavoured mouthwash until I can’t taste the bourbon any longer. Then I quietly slip back into bed with Debbie.

I place my arm over her chest as it rises and falls. For all her faults, I could never be without this woman. She came into my life at a time when I needed someone to be on my side, and she has never left. I would die for her, without hesitation. In fact, if it wasn’t for her, I would probably be dead already.