Justin just messaged me.”
Maddy was driving us home from the grocery store.
I hadn’t heard from him in three days and sort of figured we were done talking.
“What’d he say?” she asked. I read it out loud.
Justin: Can I ask you a medical question?
Maddy glanced at me from behind the wheel. “You’re either about to get a rash or a dick pic.”
“Should I take my chances?” I asked.
“Yes. I’m actually interested in seeing the size of both.” I laughed and typed in a reply.
Me: I’m here to answer any of your burning questions. And if it’s actually burning, you should see a doctor.
Justin:
 |
And then: “Is there any truth to the q-tip thing being bad for you or do doctors just not want me to be happy?”
I laughed. Then I read it to Maddy.
“You know, for someone that cute, he’s pretty funny,” she said.
I looked at her over my phone. “What, they can’t be cute and funny?” “No. When they’re that attractive or over six feet tall, they usually have
the personality of a s*xy palm tree.”
I was cracking up when I typed in my reply.
Me: Sadly, the q-tip thing is true. I have flushed many, many impacted ears.
Justin: I’ll never stop.
Me: Me either. #qtipsforlife
Justin: Lol
I waited a few minutes, but he didn’t send me anything after that.
This was the place in a back-and-forth to either make an effort to keep it going or let it die.
I was a little bored. I opted for life support.
Me: so what do u do for a living?
I already knew what he did for a living because Maddy had cyberstalked him. Of course I couldn’t tell him that, so I had to ask questions.
Almost immediately he replied.
Justin: I’m a software engineer. I build out websites. Can I ask you another question?
Me: yes
Justin: Where do u live?
Me: Why?
Justin: I was thinking maybe we could go for coffee or something. Exchange good luck charm war stories.
I looked up at Maddy. “He just asked me out.”
“What took him so long,” she said flatly. “Are you gonna go?” I shook my head. “No.”
“Why not?”
“He’s in Minnesota,” I said. “Maybe he’ll come to you.”
“You think some guy I met three days ago is going to fly all the way to Colorado just to take me to Starbucks? Why would he do that?”
“Uh, because you’re hot? Your mom didn’t give you much, but she did give you her face.”
I rolled my eyes and typed into my phone.
Me: I would love to go for coffee, but I’m in Colorado. Then in three weeks I go to Hawaii for three months.
We pulled into our driveway right after that, and I got busy unloading the car and putting away the groceries. When we were done, Maddy went to take a shower and I plopped on my bed to check my phone. Justin had responded half an hour ago.
Justin: Where are you going after Hawaii?
I typed.
Me: Not sure yet. I live with my best friend Maddy and we alternate who chooses where we’ll go next. She picked Hawaii, and I haven’t decided where to go after that.
I figured he wouldn’t reply right away. He’d said he had to turn off his notifications because of all the messages he was getting, and after half an hour I was sure he wasn’t sitting there watching his inbox waiting for me to respond, but I got a message within thirty seconds.
Justin: May I suggest Minnesota?
Me: Lol why?
Justin: Fall in Minnesota is beautiful. We have Mayo Clinic and Royaume Northwestern. Two of the best hospitals in the world…
I smiled and started typing.
Me: Wow, you want to have coffee with me that bad huh?
Justin:
 |
A small pause and then…
Justin: You know, in theory, if we date each other, when we break up we’d both find our soulmates after.
I narrowed my eyes.
Me: I thought you didn’t want to date anyone who only wanted to break up with you??
Justin: This is different. This is mutually beneficial. Seriously, what are your thoughts? Cause I gotta be honest, I could be down for this.
And then a second later:
Nothing inappropriate, a purely professional arrangement.
I sat up against my headboard, amused.
Me: Can I call you?
Justin: I mean, yeah. 651-314-4444
For a moment I debated calling from a blocked number. He was nice, but I still didn’t know him. But I figured it was just as easy to block him later if he got creepy. I dialed and he picked up on the first ring. “Emma.”
I don’t know why, but his deep voice gave me a little flutter in my stomach for some reason.
“I don’t believe in this whole magical good luck charm thing,” I said without preamble.
“Neither do I.”
“I’m not superstitious.”
I heard him suck air through his teeth. “I’m a little stitious.”
I let a laugh out through my nose. “It’s just a coincidence,” I said. “You realize that, right?”
“I agree.” He paused. “But…” “But? But what?”
“But what if it isn’t? I’m just playing devil’s advocate here. What if it isn’t? Brad said that everyone I’m serious enough to date more than twice is cosmically destined for someone else.” He went quiet for a beat. “Does nobody feel right to you? Like, there’s just enough there to give it a little go, but then the bottom falls out? Is that just me? Or is it like that for you also?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, it’s like that for me too. But I just don’t think I’m meeting the right people.”
“Yeah, but maybe this is why,” he said. “It’s exhausting, starting over all the time, again and again. Like there’s no point. Like I’m trapped in some loop, partnered over and over with people I’m just supposed to redistribute down the line to someone else. I’m starting to wonder why I even bother. You know what Brad said that made me think? That when he saw Faith for the first time, it was like he got hit by a truck. It was that big.” He paused. “I haven’t had that moment. With anyone. I’m twenty-nine. I should have had that with someone by now, right?”
“I’m twenty-eight and I’ve never had a truck moment either,” I admitted. “Do you want that?”
“Of course I want that. Who wouldn’t want to get hit by a love truck?”
“Look,” he said. “I know the idea’s a little out there. But if this is actually a thing, we’re in a pretty low-risk/high-reward situation. We’d just have to hang out a few times and then stop. That’s it. If what Brad said is true and we can’t find our person because everyone we’re interested in is meant for someone else, I would actually really like it if it stopped.”
I bobbed my head. “Okay, I’ll bite. So we what?”
I pictured a shrug. “I don’t know. We go on some dates, split up after. See if we can’t break the cycle. How many dates trigger the thing for you? It’s three for me.”
“It’s not dates for me. It’s length of time.” “What do you mean?”
“I have to be seeing someone for at least a month for it to happen,” I said.
“Okay. And what does that look like? Do you have to see them every day?”
I shook my head. “No. It’s having contact every day. Texting or talking on the phone. And seeing each other at least once a week.”
He seemed to think about this.
“So me going out there wouldn’t work unless I stayed a month or I flew back and forth every week.”
“I think so.”
“That’s not really doable for me. Hawaii’s pretty far and I’ve got some family stuff going on. I can’t take off for that long.”
“Well,” I said. “I’ll be back on the mainland in three and a half months.” “Yeah. Maybe then?”
“Sure. Sounds like fun.”
I couldn’t be sure, but I thought there was disappointment in the silence. Maddy knocked on my doorframe. “Ready?”
I nodded and put up a finger. “I’ve got to go,” I said into the phone. “Maddy wants to watch a movie.”
Justin and I hung up, and I went out to the living room to watch Forrest Gump.
This movie always bugged me. Maybe because watching Jenny— Forrest’s beautiful, tortured love interest—reminded me too much of Mom.
Maddy must have been thinking the same thing. When the credits began to roll, she put the TV on mute and looked over at me. “Have you talked to Amber recently?” she asked.
“No,” I said.
“Do you know where she is?”
I paused a moment. “No. Her phone’s disconnected. Again.”
Maddy looked annoyed. “Probably didn’t pay the bill. You know, for someone who asks you for as much money as she does, she sure ends up in
collections a lot. God, I hate her.”
I looked away from her. My relationship with my mother was complicated. It wasn’t complicated for Maddy though, she knew exactly how she felt about it.
“I called the cafe,” I said. “They said she quit three months ago. Just stopped showing up for work.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course.”
I’d stopped calling jails and hospitals years ago when this kind of thing happened. Filing a missing person’s report was a waste of time. Amber moved too fast, was too impulsive. She’d go to a concert and climb onto a tour bus and end up across the US. Or she’d meet a guy at a bar and get invited to live on his boat for four months in Florida.
The only time I knew for sure where my mother went was when she’d resurface suddenly. Then I’d get a little peace of mind for a few weeks until she vanished again.
Maddy shook her head. “I wouldn’t worry about it. She’s like black mold, she always comes back.”
She was right. She always did.
But I’d call her landlord anyway. Just in case.
Just in case she left someone behind when she went…
“I don’t understand how that woman made this,” Maddy said, going on, waving a hand over my face. “A fully functional member of society.”
“She had a very different life than I did, Maddy. I don’t think all of it’s her fault.”
“The hell it isn’t. You’re too nice. Try being pissed off for a change.” I sighed.
This is where we always landed with Mom. Maddy being furious on my behalf and me reminding her that Mom wasn’t all bad. Sometimes she was wonderful.
When my mother was at her best, you could meet her and walk away thinking you’d been in the presence of a Muse or an angel. This witty, enchanting woman who made you feel interesting and special.
When she was at her worst… Anyway.
I don’t believe anyone is black or white. Amber had been a single parent at eighteen with no family, no money, no support. Maybe her childhood had
been like Jenny’s in Forrest Gump, full of abuse and instability. Did she have issues? Yes. Did I believe that there were some people not meant for parenthood—also yes. But who knew what made Amber Amber? I couldn’t begin to guess the demons she fought. I just knew that she did.
When Maddy got up to put the popcorn bowl into the sink, I pulled out my phone like I expected a text from Mom to be waiting for me. There wasn’t. I saw Justin’s number instead, the last call I’d placed. I saved it in my contacts.
I did like his idea, and not just for the good luck charm thing. It would be fun to try it. He seemed nice. I probably would have swiped right and dated him if I’d met him on an app. Minnesota was a problem though. Definitely not one of the states on our list to visit.
Maddy came back and flopped onto the sofa. “So have you given the anniversary thing any thought?”
“What?”
“Janet and Beth’s thirtieth. They’re trying to get an RSVP.” “I don’t know. I think I’m going to sit this one out.” Maddy pressed her lips together.
“What?” I said. “It’s hard for both of us to get a week off when we’re under assignment. I’ll stay so you can go.”
“It’s not impossible. You should ask. They want you there. You’re their daughter too.”
I had to look away from her.
Maddy’s moms were my foster parents. They’d wanted to be my real parents, but it just never felt right. I had a mom. And I was fourteen when they got me. The imprinting didn’t take. That’s all I could say about it, it just didn’t take. I cared about them. I called on their birthdays and came back with Maddy for Christmas when we could get it off. They just weren’t… mine. And Maddy knew it. It bothered her. She couldn’t wrap her brain around it and I couldn’t explain it to her in any way that she found acceptable.
She sighed and stood up. “I think I’m gonna meet that IT guy from Tinder for drinks again. Want to come? I can see if he’s got a friend.”
“Nah. I want to finish my book.”
“All right. Don’t wait up. I’m probably going to his place after.” I arched an eyebrow.
“What?” she said. “This nomad life isn’t exactly conducive to relationships and I’m getting sick of DJing my own party.”
“I’m assuming he’s got a bed frame?”
“You know it.” She started for her room. “Maddy?”
She stopped in the doorway. “Yeah?” “I will ask for the time off. Okay?” Her face softened a little. “Okay.”
I would. But I secretly hoped I wouldn’t get it.
 |
Maddy hadn’t come back last night, as promised, and I guess the date went well because he was taking her to breakfast and then some art exhibit. She wouldn’t be home until dinner. I was off and had nothing to do and nowhere to be.
I was in a robe in my room, fresh out of the shower, getting ready to paint my nails when Justin texted me a picture.
I clicked on it and burst into laughter. It was a selfie of him wearing a long red wig and crooked lipstick. The text said, “I babysat my little sister Chelsea this morning. I had to be Princess Anna. She got to be Elsa.”
Me: You look good as a redhead.
My phone rang.
I smiled and hit the speakerphone button. “Princess Anna?” “Princess Emma,” he said back.
“Just a reminder, you can’t marry a man you just met.” “You can if it’s true love,” he replied seriously.
I had to stifle my giggle.
“Chelsea made me stand frozen solid for fifteen minutes,” he said. “She wouldn’t let me move. It was that part from the end—I don’t remember that scene taking that long in the movie.”
“Ha.”
“That would kill me, right?” he asked. “Like if I was really frozen solid.”
I grabbed my red polish from the bathroom and shook the bottle on my way to the bed. “Maybe. We’d warm you up first to try and revive you. You’re not dead until you’re warm and dead.”
I sat down on the mattress and heard the sound of keys and the click of a bolt lock on the other end of the phone. Then excited dog noises.
“Are you with your dog?” I asked.
“Yeah, I just got home,” he said. “He wants to go on a walk.” “Oh,” I said. “I’ll let you go then.”
“I don’t need to hang up. Unless you need to,” he added.
I gave a one-shoulder shrug. “I’m not doing anything. Just ran an errand.
Back at home.”
I heard the jingle of a leash attaching to a collar and the clickety-click sound of nails on tile.
“Oh yeah?” he said. “What kind of errand? Tell me your day today from start to finish.”
“Why do you want to know?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t I want to know? I’m curious. Unless you’re a reporter and you’re afraid to let it slip.”
“Ha ha.”
I heard a door closing and echoey footsteps in a hallway.
“Call me old-fashioned,” he said, “but we’re talking about undertaking the exhaustive, extremely intimate, time-honored tradition of breaking a curse together. We can’t start until you come back from Hawaii, but we can prepare by getting to know each other.”
“Oh, so it’s a curse now?”
“I mean, isn’t it? It’s keeping us from being happy.” I scoffed to myself. He wasn’t wrong.
“What do you think we did to deserve it?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, putting in my earbuds and grabbing lotion off the nightstand. “I think I’m a good person. I don’t think I do deserve it.”
“Me either. I can’t for the life of me think of why someone would waste a perfectly good hex on me.”
I heard elevator doors opening.
“So your day,” he said, getting back on topic. “Tell me.” “Well, I woke up and had my coffee—”
“What’s your coffee?”
“Just regular coffee with sweet cream in it,” I said, putting lotion on my legs.
“And where’d you drink it?” I heard the ping of an elevator.
“On the sofa in the living room while I scrolled through my phone.” “So day off today then,” he said.
“Day off. No nursing until tomorrow.”
“Why’d you become a nurse? Did you always want to do it?” “Yeah. Always. Since I was ten.”
“Really? Why?” he asked.
“I have the right temperament for it. I’m patient. I’m not easily frustrated or grossed out. I have a high threshold for stress—”
“And you knew this at ten years old?” he asked.
“I did. I mean, I knew I wanted to take care of people at ten years old. I was already good at it.”
“Who did you take care of at ten?” “My mom.”
“I see…” he said. “Was she sick or something?” “Or something.”
He must have sensed my disinterest because he changed the subject. “So is there a view from your living room? What’s your house like?”
“We have a fully furnished two-bedroom A-frame cabin,” I said, leaning over to grab the red nail polish off my nightstand. “We always try to find someplace fun. A beach house or a loft in a big city where we can walk to things. We stayed in a converted grain silo once, it was really neat. Oh, and a tree house.”
“A tree house?” He sounded impressed.
“Yeah, it had rope bridges and everything. We were on a quick two- week assignment to Atlanta. Maddy and I had to share a bed, but it was so cool.”
“Wow.”
“In Hawaii we’re staying in a condo,” I said, my chin to my knees while I painted my toes. “It’s not that exciting. But we can walk to the beach.”
“Nice. So you drank your coffee. Then what?”
“Then I made breakfast,” I said. “Scrambled eggs and cheese on an English muffin. Grapes.”
“Seedless?”
“Of course. I’m not a sadist.”
“So you know how to cook,” he said. “Yeah. Do you?”
“Yeah. I’m a good cook,” he said.
“What’s the last thing you cooked?” I asked.
“Well, the last thing I cooked was mac and cheese with hot dogs in it for Chelsea. She’s four. The last good thing I cooked was slow cooker ribs. I have a Crock-pot in my kitchen, under the watchful eye of the Toilet King.”
I laughed.
“So then what?” he asked. “What else did you do today?”
I smiled. I had to admit, it was refreshing that he was asking about me. I found that most men I dated just liked to talk about themselves.
“Well, then I went to Target for nail polish remover—” “And you went to Starbucks.”
“Yes, I went to Starbucks. I had to, it was right there.”
“The absolute chokehold that Starbucks has on us. What do you get there?” he asked.
“I get a salted caramel cold foam cold brew, but as a decaf Americana since I already had regular today. What do you get there?”
“In the winter I get a grande triple caramel macchiato. In the summer I do the iced tea infusion thingy. The dragon fruit one.”
“So you drink caramel macchiatos nine months out of the year?”
“Hey, don’t poke fun at Minnesota,” he said good-naturedly. “It’s not that bad.”
I paused in my toenail painting. “I saw on the news that it was negative thirty for a week a few months ago. How is that not that bad?”
“You just do the door-to-door sprint. It’s thirty seconds of cold, tops. Like getting something from a walk-in freezer. Half the time I don’t even put on a jacket. And you get the right clothes for when you do need to be outside longer. The summers are great, fall’s beautiful. Travel vlogger Vanessa Price lives here and she could live anywhere.”
“Hmm, I do like her. So I told you my day,” I said. “What did you do today?”
“Well, I woke up and made my coffee—Nespresso machine. Used my frother to make a cappuccino. Two percent milk. Opened the blinds and stood there with my mug in my hand, staring at the billboard, questioning
all my life choices. I took Brad out, came back, took a shower. Watched Chelsea for an hour, then went to meet Benny and best friend Brad for lunch.”
“Where did you go?” I asked.
“It’s a little restaurant Brad found.” “What did you order?”
“A peanut butter burger,” he said. I made a face. “Was it good?”
“It was, actually. It had caramelized onions on it and this grape jelly chutney thing.”
“So did anything happen at lunch with your friends?”
“Not today. But when I had lunch with them yesterday we talked about the Reddit thread. I told them about you, obviously,” he said. “That’s when Brad gave me his prophecy about you and I being able to break the curse.”
“Ah, so that’s why you texted me,” I said with my chin to my knees, blowing the paint dry on my toes.
“No. I really needed to know about the Q-tip thing.” “I see,” I said, smiling. “Then you went home?”
“I stopped for gas and then I went home. I texted you my Princess Anna picture. Here we are.”
“And where are we exactly?” I asked. “What do you see on your walk?” “Hold on, I’ll show you.”
I had a tiny moment of panic thinking he was about to video call me, but instead a picture came through.
“This is where I’m walking right now. I took this the other day at sunset.”
It was a picture of a city skyline taken from the middle of a wide concrete walking bridge with a rust-colored railing.
“This is the Stone Arch Bridge.” Another picture came through. “That’s the Mississippi.”
The river was tree-lined. It was really pretty, urban but naturey at the same time.
I exited and googled the bridge and hit Images. “I’m looking at the bridge online. There are a lot of engagement photos.”
“I see about one proposal a week,” he said. “It’s a very popular spot to pop the question.”
“Public proposals are hostage situations,” I said, going back to his picture and zooming in. I could see the back of a billboard and I wondered if that was his apartment building just beyond it.
“You wouldn’t want to be proposed to in public?” he asked. “Noooo.”
“Yeah, I never really got that whole concept. It feels like something that should be intimate, right? Doing it in front of a bunch of strangers just feels so performative.”
“That is exactly what I was telling Maddy a few weeks ago. Some guy proposed in front of a whole stadium at this game we went to—and the girl said no.”
He sucked air through his teeth. “Talk about not knowing your audience.”
I heard barking. “Brad?” I asked.
“No, a husky barking at Brad. Do you like dogs?” “Who doesn’t like dogs?”
He was smiling in the pause. “So back to Minnesota being the greatest state in the nation—”
I sighed. “Okay. You’re making a small case for visiting Minnesota, I will give you that. But it’s probably never going to happen. It’s not in our top twenty-five list of states to visit.”
“How do you get a state bumped up the list?”
“You don’t.” I slid off the bed to brush my hair. “It’s never happened.” “Hmmm. So how do you decide which state to go to next? Are they in
order?”
“No. We look at all the determining factors. What time of year it is, the weather during our stay, if there’s any concerts or festivals that will be there, what kind of house we can get, what hospital we’d get to work in and what positions they’re looking to fill.” I pulled off my towel and my long, wet hair tumbled out. I was brushing it when Justin gasped.
“Oh my God. Someone’s proposing on the bridge,” he said. “Seriously.
Hold on, I’ll get you a picture.”
I smiled and started working my damp hair into a bun. “Okay,” he said. “I just sent it.”
I leaned over my screen and laughed. The woman had her hands on her mouth and the man was on one knee, tall buildings looming in the
backdrop. “Wow. That is a really great picture spot though. I kinda get why they do it there.”
“It’s a nice walk too. Brad likes it. Want to see it in real time? I can video chat you—”
“Uh, no. I’m not dressed.”
“Well just accept the video call but don’t turn on your camera.”
I thought about it a second. “Okay. But I’m really not going to turn on my camera.”
“Totally understand.”
A moment later a video call came through. When I accepted the call, the screen faced the long concrete bridge. There were people on bikes and a woman jogging with headphones in. “Say hi, Brad.” The camera angled down and Brad looked up at it with his frown, wearing a red leash and collar. “Can you see okay?” Justin asked, coming back to the bridge.
I pulled my phone closer. “Yeah. Wow, it’s really pretty.” “Look at this.”
He brought the camera over to the side of the railing and panned over the Mississippi. There was a waterfall churning in the distance.
“The bridge is part of a two-mile historic walking loop. I try to do it once a day when the weather’s good.”
He started walking again, the camera forward so I could see what he did. “Are there shops on the loop?” I asked, seeing buildings with outdoor
seating off in the distance.
“Yeah, there’s some cool coffee shops, a couple of restaurants. I have to drive to get my favorite food though. Ecuadorian from this little hole-in- the-wall place called Chimborazo. I’ll take you if you come down here.”
Then he turned the camera on himself and beamed into the frame. I sucked in a little breath of air.
My God was he cute.
It was even better when he was live action. Or maybe it was even better because he had a good personality to match? I think his sense of humor made him more attractive.
He was wearing a gray T-shirt and had a black earbud in his ear. His hair was messy. His dimples were popping and he had the nicest brown eyes. They were kind eyes.
Justin looked like that quintessential TV show boyfriend that the main
character always has in high school. The super sweet one who lives next door and takes her to prom and lets her wear his hoodies and they only break up because he has to go to college out of state and it’s her idea. There was just something so easy and grounding about him.
I realized I was smiling at my phone. I let out a breath and tightened my robe. Then I turned my camera on too.
When my face popped up on the screen, he grinned. “Hey.”
“I figured you should have a right to know you’re not getting catfished,” I said. “Still not a reporter.”
He laughed. He was still walking, but he kept the camera on himself.
“So,” I said, sliding back onto my bed. “You have a captive audience.
You’re on a scenic walking path. Show me your town.”
