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Chapter no 11 – EMMA

Just for the Summer

When I got back to the cottage an hour later, Maddy was in the screened- in porch, reading. She wore shorts and flip-flops, and she was drinking a beer. She set down her book when I came in.

โ€œHey,โ€ I said, flopping into a chair. โ€œNeil dropped me off in the yacht.

He wanted to take Mom for a sunset cruise.โ€

She rolled her eyes. โ€œI wonder how long the honeymoonโ€™s gonna last. I give it a week.โ€

I didnโ€™t answer. Though a week sounded about right.

โ€œSo, how was it?โ€ she asked. She seemed de-escalated now that a few hours had passed.

โ€œFine. She seems okay.โ€ โ€œDid you get Stuffie?โ€

I got my purse from the floor and pulled him out to show her.

In looking at him I wondered if you see things differently in childhood. If innocence can make anything beautiful. Because he looked like he always had, but I didnโ€™t remember him being this tattered. His eye was gone and his fur was matted and dirty. His stuffing was flat and his neck hung limply.

โ€œWow,โ€ Maddy said. โ€œThatโ€™s him, huh?โ€

I set him on my thighs and sighed. โ€œMaybe I can clean him up?โ€ โ€œMaybe.โ€ She didnโ€™t sound hopeful. โ€œAnd the date?โ€ she asked.

I smiled. โ€œHe took me to play with kittens. Then we went to a cool breakfast place and then to a park with a waterfall. It was fun.โ€

โ€œDid you tell him no to something?โ€

โ€œI didโ€”andย I beat him in chess. He passed both of your tests.โ€

โ€œNice.โ€ She took a sip of her beer. โ€œDoes he smell good?โ€ โ€œHe smellsย reallyย good.โ€

โ€œDid you make out with him?โ€

I shook my head. โ€œNo. Mom and Neil were there. It would have been weird.โ€ I looked at her. โ€œDid you really threaten to kill him?โ€

โ€œIt wasnโ€™t a threat. It was a promise.โ€ I laughed dryly. โ€œGod.โ€

โ€œThereโ€™s a chance you might actually like this guy enough for him to hurt you, and I need him to know there will be repercussions if he does.โ€

โ€œWow. Youโ€™ve never threatened anyone before, he should feel special.โ€ โ€œWell, Iโ€™ve never seen you chase someone before.โ€

I gasped. โ€œI amย notย chasing Justin.โ€

She sat up and looked dramatically around the porch. โ€œAre we not in Minnesota right now? You have never, in the entire time Iโ€™ve known you, put this much effort into a guy. You are aloof to a fault. You donโ€™t even get attached after sex. Youโ€™re like a dude.โ€

I made an indignant noise.

โ€œIโ€™m serious,โ€ she said. โ€œThis feels different from your normal MO and thereโ€™s only so much trauma you can handle. Youโ€™ve met your lifetime maximum already. If he fucks with you and you unravel, Iโ€™m going to unalive him with a can opener.โ€

I was laughing. โ€œI donโ€™t have trauma.โ€

She looked at me like I had two heads. โ€œUh yeah, you do. Your entire childhood was traumatic. You should be in therapy working out the shit that woman put you throughโ€”โ€

โ€œI went to therapy. For four years. Your parents made me go all through high school. I haveย resolvedย trauma, there is nothing wrong with me.โ€

โ€œOh yeah? Then why did you live out of a suitcase the entire time we were at home?โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t live out of a suitcaseโ€”โ€ I said defensively. โ€œYeah you did.โ€

โ€œI kept my suitcase under my bed and I used it to store things.โ€

โ€œYup. The things you cared about. The stuff youโ€™d take in a fire, or if Amber showed up to get you. You never once unpacked. Not really.โ€

โ€œSo?โ€

โ€œSo you donโ€™t think thatโ€™s weird? That you canโ€™t ever act like you

actually live somewhere? That youโ€™re always ready to take off on a momentโ€™s notice?โ€

I shook my head at her. โ€œI think youโ€™re reading way too much into this.โ€ โ€œI donโ€™t think youโ€™re reading enough into it.โ€ She sat back into her chair.

โ€œSo when do you see Justin again?โ€ she asked.

I shrugged. โ€œNext week maybe?โ€

โ€œYou didnโ€™t want to see him sooner? You dragged me all the way to Minnesota, extorted me and everything to get here.โ€

โ€œI just feel kind of bad taking up his time when I know itโ€™s not going to lead anywhere and Iโ€™m leaving in a few weeks.โ€

โ€œMaybe he wants you to take up his time.โ€

I looked down at Stuffie. โ€œHeย didย say he wanted to show me around. I donโ€™t know. I might take him up on it.โ€

My phone vibrated, and I pulled it out to look at it. I couldnโ€™t help but note that the thought that it might be Mom made me feel preemptively exhausted.

But it wasnโ€™t Mom. It was Justin. โ€œOh my Godโ€ฆโ€ โ€œWhat?โ€ Maddy said. โ€œWhat is it?โ€

โ€œJustin sent me an exit interview.โ€ โ€œHeย didnโ€™t.โ€

I scanned it, laughing. Then I read it out loud.

  1. On a scale from Awkward to Charming, how would you rate Justinโ€™s performance?
  2. At any point during the date did you experience the following symptoms:

    Butterflies in your stomach 

    Flushing and heating of the cheeks

    Ringing in the ears 

    Unexplained arousal 

    Uncontrollable laughter

    Fluttering of the heart 

  3. On a Scale from 1โ€“10, how likely would you be to date Justin again if the breaking the curse thing wasnโ€™t a factor?
  4. What words would you use to describe your date with Justin?
  5. Any further comments?

Maddy was cracking up. โ€œIโ€™ve gotta give it to him, he does put in the effort.โ€

I was smiling at my screen. โ€œYeah, he does.โ€ โ€œThat was nice of him to stay with you.โ€

It was nice. Justin had impressed me. He was a little more than Iโ€™d expected, in more ways than one.

โ€œSo?โ€ Maddy said. โ€œIf you werenโ€™t breaking a curse together, how likely would you be to date him again?โ€

I twisted my lips thinking about it. Then I checked 10.

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