โWhen youโre working with flounder, always hold your knife like this.โ I demonstrate how to start with the dull end at the tail, but Theo looks away as soon as I begin to scale the fish.
โGross,โ he mutters, covering his mouth. โI canโt.โ Theo moves to the other side of the counter, putting space between himself and the cooking lesson.
โIโm only scaling it. I havenโt even cut it open yet.โ
Theo makes a gagging sound. โI have no interest in working with food. Iโll stick to being your therapist.โ Theo pushes himself onto the counter. โSpeaking of, did you ever text Lily?โ
โI did.โ
โShe text you back?โ
โSort of. It was a short text, so I decided to take her lunch today to see where her head is at.โ
โThat was a bold move.โ
โIโve spent my life not making bold moves when it comes to her. I wanted to make sure she knew where I stood this time.โ
โOh no,โ Theo says. โWhat cheesy thing did you say to her about fish and beaches and shores?โ
I never should have told him what I said to Lily about finally reaching the shore. Iโm not going to hear the end of it. โShut up. Youโve probably never even spoken to a girl; youโre twelve.โ
Theo laughs, but then I notice an awkwardness settle over him when he thinks Iโm not looking. He grows quiet, despite the ruckus going on around us. There are at least five other people in the kitchen right now, but everyone is so focused on their work, no one is paying attention to the conversation Iโm having with Theo.
โYou like someone?โ I ask him.
He shrugs. โKinda.โ
The discussions I have with Theo are usually one-sided. As much as he likes to ask questions, he doesnโt answer very many, so I tread carefully. โOh yeah?โ I try to act casual with my response so heโll expand. โWho is she?โ
Theo is looking down at his hands. Heโs picking at his thumbnail, but I can see his shoulders sink a little after my question, like I did something wrong.
Orย saidย something wrong.
โOrย he,โ I clarify. I whisper it to be sure heโs the only one who hears it. Theoโs eyes dart up to mine.
He doesnโt have to confirm or deny anything. I can see the truth written in the fear thatโs resting behind his eyes. I give my attention back to the fish Iโm preparing, and as nonchalantly as possible, I say, โDo you go to school with him?โ
Theo doesnโt immediately answer. Iโm not sure if Iโm the first person heโs admitted this part of himself to, so I want to make sure to treat that with the care it deserves. I want him to know he has an ally in me, but I also hope heโs aware he has an ally in his father, too.
Theo looks around to make sure no one is hovering long enough to follow along with our conversation. โHeโs been in math club with me all year.โ His words are quick and concise, like he wants to release them and never say them again.
โDoes your dad know?โ
Theo shakes his head. I watch as he swallows what look like nervous thoughts.
I put down my knife when Iโm done scaling the fish and move to the sink closest to Theo to wash my hands. โIโve known your dad for a long time. Heโs one of my best friends for a reason. I donโt surround myself with people who arenโt good.โ I can see the reassurance settle in him when I say that, but I can also tell heโs uncomfortable and probably wants to change the subject. โI would say you should text this person you like, but youโre probably the only twelve-year-old left on earth without a cell phone. Youโll never date anyone at this rate. Youโll probably be single and phoneless forever.โ
Theo is relieved Iโm ribbing him. โIโm so glad you decided to be a chef and not a therapist. You suck at advice.โ
โI take offense to that. I give good advice.โ
โOkay, Atlas. Whatever you say.โ He seems to loosen up. He follows me as I head back to my station. โDid you ask Lily out on a date when you went to her work?โ
โNo. I will tonight. Iโm calling her when I get home.โ I walk by Theo and ruffle his hair on my way to the freezer.
โHey, Atlas?โ
I pause. His eyes are filled with concern, but one of the waiters pushes through the doors and walks between us, preventing Theo from saying whatever it was he was about to say. He doesnโt have to say it, though.
โNot saying a word, Theo. Client confidentiality goes both ways.โ
That seems to reassure him. โGood, because if you said something to my dad, I would tell him how cheesy you are with your pickup lines.โ Theo mockingly presses his palms to his cheeks. โWe finally reached the beach, my little whale.โ
I glare at him. โThatโs not at all how it went.โ
Theo points across the kitchen. โLook! Itโs sandโweโve reached land!โ โStop.โ
โLily, what the heck, our boat is wrecked!โ
Heโs still following me around the kitchen making fun of me when his dadโs shift ends. Iโve never been happier to see him leave.