Chapter no 18

It Ends with us

“Oh, God. I think I might throw up.”

Ryle puts his thumb under my chin and tilts my face up to his.

He grins at me. “You’ll be ﬁne. Stop freaking out.”

I shake my hands out and bounce up and down inside the elevator. “I can’t help it,” I say. “Everything you and Allysa have told me about your mother makes me so nervous.” My eyes widen and I bring my hands up to my mouth. “Oh, God, Ryle. What if she asks me questions about Jesus? I don’t go to church. I mean, I read the Bible when I was younger, but I don’t know answers to any Bible trivia questions.”

He’s really laughing now. He pulls me to him and kisses the side of my head. “She won’t talk about Jesus. She already loves you, based on what I’ve told her. All you have to do is be you, Lily.”

I start nodding. “Be me. Okay. I think I can pretend to be me for one evening. Right?”

The doors open and he walks me out of the elevator, toward Allysa’s apartment. It’s funny watching him knock, but I guess he technically doesn’t live here anymore. Over the last few months, he just sort of slowly began staying with me. All of his clothes are at my apartment. His toiletries. Last week he even hung that ridiculous blurry photograph of me up in our bedroom, and it really felt ofﬁcial after that.

“Does she know we live together?” I ask him. “Is she okay with that? I mean, we aren’t married. She goes to church every Sunday. Oh, no, Ryle! What if your mother thinks I’m a blasphemous whore?”

Ryle nudges his head toward the apartment door and I spin around to see his mother standing in the doorway, a layer of shock on her face.

“Mother,” Ryle says. “Meet Lily. My blasphemous whore.”

Oh dear God.

His mother reaches for me and pulls me in for a hug, and her laughter is everything I need to get me through this moment. “Lily!” she says, pushing me out to arm’s length so she can get a good look at me. “Sweetie, I don’t think you’re a blasphemous whore. You’re the angel I’ve been praying would land in Ryle’s lap for the last ten years!”

She ushers us into the apartment. Ryle’s father is the next to greet me with a hug. “No, deﬁnitely not a blasphemous whore,” he says. “Not like Marshall here, who sank his teeth into my little girl when she was only seventeen.” He glares back at Marshall, who is sitting on the couch.

Marshall laughs. “That’s where you’re wrong, Dr. Kincaid, because Allysa was the one who sank her teeth into me ﬁrst. My teeth were in another girl who tasted like Cheetos and . . .”

Marshall doubles over when Allysa elbows him in the side.

And just like that, every single fear I had has vanished. They’re perfect. They’re normal. They say whore and laugh at Marshall’s jokes.

I couldn’t ask for anything better.

Three hours later, I’m lying on Allysa’s bed with her. Their parents went to bed early, claiming jet lag. Ryle and Marshall are in the living room, watching sports. I have my hand on Allysa’s stomach, waiting to feel the baby kick.

“Her feet are right here,” she says, moving my hand over a few inches. “Give it a few seconds. She’s really active tonight.”

We remain quiet while we both wait for her to kick. When it happens, I squeal with laughter. “Oh my God! It’s like an alien!”

Allysa holds her hands on her stomach, smiling. “These last two and a half months are going to be hell,” she says. “I’m so ready to meet her.”

“Me too. I can’t wait to be an aunt.”

“I can’t wait for you and Ryle to have a baby,” she says.

I fall onto my back and put my hands behind my bed. “I don’t know if he wants any. We’ve never really talked about it.”

“It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t want any,” she says. “He will. He didn’t want a relationship before you. He didn’t want to get married before you, and I feel a proposal coming on any month now.”

I prop my head up on my hand and face her. “We’ve barely been together six months. Pretty sure he wants to wait a lot longer than that.”

I don’t push things with Ryle when it comes to speeding things up in our relationship. Our lives are perfect how they are. We’re too busy for a wedding anyway, so I don’t mind if he wants to wait a lot longer.

“What about you?” Allysa presses. “Would you say yes if he proposed?”

I laugh. “Are you kidding me? Of course. I’d marry him tonight.”

Allysa looks over my shoulder at her bedroom door. She purses her lips together and tries to hide her smile.

“He’s standing in the doorway, isn’t he?” She nods.

“He heard me say that, didn’t he?” She nods again.

I roll onto my back and look at Ryle, propped up against the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest. I can’t tell what he’s thinking after hearing that. His expression is tight. His jaw is tight. His eyes are narrowed in my direction.

“Lily,” he says with stoic composure. “I would marry the hell out of you.”

His words make me smile the most embarrassing, widest smile, so I pull a pillow over my face. “Why, thank you, Ryle,” I say, my words mufﬂed by the pillow.

“That’s really sweet,” I hear Allysa say. “My brother is actually sweet.”

The pillow is pulled away from me and Ryle is standing over me, holding it at his side. “Let’s go.”

My heart begins to beat faster. “Right now?”

He nods. “I took the weekend off because my parents are in town. You have people who can run your store for you. Let’s go to Vegas and get married.”

Allysa sits up on the bed. “You can’t do that,” she says. “Lily’s a girl. She wants a real wedding with ﬂowers and bridesmaids and shit.”

Ryle looks back at me. “Do you want a real wedding with ﬂowers and bridesmaids and shit?”

I think about it for a second. “No.”

The three of us are quiet for a moment, and then Allysa starts kicking her legs up and down on the bed, giddy with excitement. “They’re getting married!” she yells. She rolls off the bed and rushes toward the living room. “Marshall, pack our bags! We’re going to Vegas!”

Ryle reaches down and grabs my hand, pulling me to a stand. He’s smiling, but there’s no way I’m doing this unless I know for sure he wants it.

“Are you sure about this, Ryle?”

He runs his hands through my hair and pulls my face to his, brushing his lips against mine. “Naked truth,” he whispers. “I’m so excited to be your husband, I could piss my damn pants.”