I arrive at the restaurant ๏ฌfteen minutes late. Right when I was about to close tonight I had a customer come in to order ๏ฌowers for a funeral. I couldnโt turn them away because . . . sadly . . . funerals are the best business for ๏ฌorists.
Ryle waves me over to the table and I walk straight to them, doing my best not to look around. I donโt want to see Atlas. I tried twice to get them to change the restaurant location, but Allysa was hell-bent on eating here after Ryle told her how good it was.
I slide into the booth and Ryle leans over and kisses me on the cheek. โHey, girlfriend.โ
Allysa groans. โGod, you guys are so cute, itโs sickening.โ I smile at her, and her eyes immediately go to the corner of my eye. It doesnโt look as bad as I thought it might today, which is probably due to Ryle forcing me to keep ice on it. โOh my God,โ Allysa says. โRyle told me what happened but I didnโt think it was that bad.โ
I glance at Ryle, wondering what he told her.ย The truth?ย He smiles and says, โOlive oil was everywhere. When she slipped, it was so graceful youโd think she was a ballerina.โ
A lie.
Fair enough. I would have done the same thing. โIt was pretty pathetic,โ I say with a laugh.
Somehow, we get through dinner without a hitch. No sign of Atlas, no thoughts of last night, and Ryle and I both avoid the wine. After weโre ๏ฌnished with our food, our waiter approaches the table. โCare for dessert?โ he asks.
I shake my head, but Allysa perks up. โWhat do you have?โ
Marshall looks just as interested. โWeโre eating for two, so weโll take anything chocolate,โ he says.
The waiter nods, and when he walks away, Allysa looks at Marshall. โThis baby is the size of a bedbug right now. You better not encourage bad habits for the next several months.โ
The waiter returns with a dessert cart. โThe chef gives all expectant mothers dessert on the house,โ he says. โCongratulations.โ
โHe does?โ Allysa says, perking up.
โGuess thatโs why itโs called Bibโs,โ Marshall says. โChef likes the babies.โ
We all look at the cart. โOh, God,โ I say, looking at the options. โThis is my new favorite restaurant,โ Allysa says.
We pick out three desserts for the table. The four of us spend the time waiting for it to be served discussing baby names.
โNo,โ Allysa says to Marshall. โWeโre not naming this baby after a state.โ
โBut I love Nebraska,โ he whines. โIdaho?โ
Allysa drops her head in her hands. โThis is going to be the demise of our marriage.โ
โDemise,โ Marshall says. โThatโs actually a good name.โ
Marshallโs murder is thwarted by the arrival of dessert. Our waiter places a piece of chocolate cake in front of Allysa, and steps aside to make room for the waiter behind him who is holding the other two desserts. The waiter motions toward the guy placing our desserts down and says, โThe chef would like to extend his congratulations.โ
โHow was the meal?โ the chef asks, looking at Allysa and Marshall.
By the time his eyes make it to mine, my anxiety is seeping from me. Atlas locks eyes with me, and without thinking, I blurt out, โYouโre theย chef?โ
The waiter leans around Atlas and says. โThe chef. The owner.
Sometimes waiter, sometimes dishwasher. He gives a new meaning to hands-on.โ
The next ๏ฌve seconds go unnoticed by everyone at our table, but they play out in slow motion to me.
Atlasโs eyes fall to the cut on my eye.
The bandage wrapped around Ryleโs hand. Back to my eye.
โWe love your restaurant,โ Allysa says. โYou have an incredible place here.โ
Atlas doesnโt look at her. I see the roll of his throat as he swallows. His jaw hardens and he says nothing as he walks away.
Shit.
The waiter tries to cover for Atlasโs hasty retreat by smiling and showing way too many teeth. โEnjoy your dessert,โ he says, scuf๏ฌing off to the kitchen.
โBummer,โ Allysa says. โWe ๏ฌnd a new favorite restaurant and the chef is an asshole.โ
Ryle laughs. โYeah, but the assholes are the best ones. Gordon Ramsay?โ
โGood point,โ Marshall says.
I put my hand on Ryleโs arm. โBathroom,โ I tell him.
He nods as I scoot out of the booth, and Marshall says, โWhat about Wolfgang Puck? You think heโs an asshole?โ
I walk across the restaurant, head down, fast paced. As soon as I get into the familiar hallway, I keep going. I push open the door to the womenโs restroom and then turn around and lock it.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
The look in his eye. The anger in his jaw.
Iโm relieved he walked away, but Iโm half-convinced heโs probably going to be waiting outside the restaurant when we leave, ready to kick Ryleโs ass.
I breathe in my nose, out my mouth, wash my hands, repeat the breathing. Once Iโm more calm, I dry my hands on a towel.
Iโll just go back out there and tell Ryle Iโm not feeling well. Weโll leave and weโll never come back. They all think the chef is an asshole, so that can be my excuse.
I unlock the door, but I donโt pull it open. It starts pushing open from the other side, so I step back. Atlas steps inside the bathroom with me and locks the door. His back rests against the door as he stares at me, focused on the cut near my eye.
โWhat happened?โ he asks. I shake my head. โNothing.โ
His eyes are narrow, still ice blue but somehow burning with ๏ฌre. โYouโre lying, Lily.โ
I muster enough of a smile to get me by. โIt was an accident.โ Atlas laughs, but then his face falls ๏ฌat. โLeave him.โ
Leave him?
Jesus, he thinks this is something else entirely. I take a step forward and shake my head. โHeโs not like that, Atlas. It wasnโt like that. Ryle is a good person.โ
He tilts his head and leans it forward a little bit. โFunny. You sound just like your mother.โ
His words sting. I immediately try to reach around him for the door, but he grabs my wrist. โLeaveย him, Lily.โ
I yank my hand away. I turn my back to him and inhale a deep
breath. I release it slowly as I face him again. โIf itโs any comparison at all, Iโm more scared of you right now than Iโveย everย been of him.โ My words make Atlas pause for a moment. His nod starts out slowly, and then gets more prominent as he steps away from the door. โI certainly didnโt mean to make you feel uncomfortable.โ He motions toward the door. โJust trying to repay the concern youโve
always shown me.โ
I stare at him for a moment, unsure how to take his words. Heโs still raging on the inside, I can see it. But on the outside, heโs calm
โcollected. Allowing me to leave. I reach forward and unlock the door, then pull it open.
I gasp when my eyes meet Ryleโs. I quickly glance over my shoulder to see Atlas ๏ฌling out of the bathroom with me.
Ryleโs eyes ๏ฌll with confusion as he looks from me to Atlas. โWhat theย fuck, Lily?โ
โRyle.โ My voice shakes.ย God, this looks so much worse than it is.
Atlas steps around me and turns toward the doors to the kitchen, as if Ryle doesnโt even exist to him. Ryleโs eyes are glued to Atlasโs back.ย Keep walking, Atlas.
Right when Atlas reaches the kitchen doors, he pauses.
No, no, no. Keep walking.
In what becomes one of the most dreadful moments I can imagine, he spins around and strides toward Ryle, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. Almost as soon as it happens, Ryle forces Atlas back and slams him against the opposite wall. Atlas lunges for Ryle again, this time shoving his forearm against Ryleโs throat, pinning him against the wall.
โYou touch her again and Iโll cut your fucking hand off and shove it down your throat, you worthless piece of shit!โ
โAtlas, stop!โ I yell.
Atlas releases Ryle forcefully, taking a huge step back. Ryle is breathing heavily, staring at Atlas long and hard. Then his focus moves directly to me. โAtlas?โย He says his name with familiarity.
Why is Ryle saying Atlasโs name like that? Like heโs heard me say it before?ย Iโve never told him about Atlas.
Wait. I did.
That ๏ฌrst night on the roof. It was one of my naked truths.
Ryle lets out a disbelieving laugh and points at Atlas, but heโs still looking at me. โThisย is Atlas? The homeless boy youย pity-fucked?โ
Oh, God.
The hallway instantly becomes a blur of ๏ฌsts and elbows and my screams for them to stop. Two waiters push through the door behind me and shove past me, separating them just as quickly as it started.
Theyโre pushed apart against opposite walls, staring each other down, breathing heavily. I canโt even look at either of them.
I canโt look at Atlas. Not after what Ryle just said to him. I also canโt look at Ryle because heโs probably thinking the absolute worst possible thing right now.
โOut!โ Atlas yells, pointing at the door, but looking at Ryle. โGet the hell out of my restaurant!โ
I meet Ryleโs eyes as he begins to walk past me, scared of what Iโll see in them. But there isnโt any anger there.
Only hurt. Lots of hurt.
He pauses as if heโs about to say something to me. But his face just twists into disappointment and he walks back out into the restaurant.
I ๏ฌnally glance up at Atlas and can see disappointment all across his face. Before I can explain away Ryleโs words to him, he turns and walks away, pushing through the kitchen doors.
I immediately turn and run after Ryle. He grabs his jacket from the booth and walks toward the exit without even looking at Allysa and Marshall.
Allysa looks up at me and holds her hands up in question. I shake my head, grab my purse and say, โItโs a long story. Weโll talk
tomorrow.โ
I follow Ryle outside and heโs walking toward the parking lot. I run to catch up to him and he just stops and punches at the air.
โI didnโt bring my fuckingย car!โ he yells, frustrated.
I pull my keys out of my purse and he walks up to me and snatches them from my hand. Again, I follow him, this time to my car.
I donโt know what to do. I donโt know if he even wants to speak to me right now. He just saw me locked in a bathroom with a guy I used to be in love with. Then, out of nowhere, that guy attacks him.
God, this is so bad.
When we reach my car, he heads straight for the driverโs side door. He points to the passenger side and says, โGet in, Lily.โ
He doesnโt speak to me the entire time weโre driving. I say his name once, but he just shakes his head like heโs not ready to hear my explanation yet. When we pull into my parking garage, he gets out of the car as soon as he turns it off, like he canโt get away from me fast enough.
Heโs pacing the length of the car when I get out. โIt wasnโt what it looked like, Ryle. I swear.โ
He stops pacing, and when he looks at me, my heart doubles over. Thereโs so much pain in his eyes right now, and itโs not even necessary. It was all due to a stupid misunderstanding.
โI didnโt want this, Lily,โ he says. โI didnโt want a relationship! I didnโt want this stress in my life!โ
As much as heโs hurting because of what he thinks he saw, his words still piss me off. โWell, thenย leave!โ
โWhat?โ
I throw my hands up. โI donโt want to be your burden, Ryle! Iโm so sorry my presence in your life is soย unbearable!โ
He takes a step forward. โLily, thatโs not at all what Iโm saying.โ
He throws his hands up in frustration and then walks past me. He leans against my car and folds his arms over his chest. Thereโs a long stretch of silence while I wait for what he has to say. His head is down, but he lifts it slightly, looking up at me.
โNaked truths, Lily. Thatโs all I want from you right now. Can you please give me that?โ
I nod.
โDid you know he worked there?โ
I purse my lips together and wrap my arm over my chest, grabbing at my elbow. โYes. Thatโs why I didnโt want to go back, Ryle. I didnโt want to run into him.โ
My answer seems to release a little of his tension. He runs a hand down his face. โDid you tell him what happened last night? Did you tell him about our ๏ฌght?โ
I take a step forward and shake my head adamantly. โNo. He assumed. He saw my eye and your hand and he just assumed.โ
He blows out a laden breath and leans his head back, looking up at the roof. It looks like itโs almost too painful for him to even ask the next question.
โWhy were you alone with him in the bathroom?โ
I take another step forward. โHe followed me in there. I know nothing about him now, Ryle. I didnโt even know he owned that restaurant, I thought he was just a waiter. Heโs not a part of my life anymore, I swear. He just . . .โ I fold my arms together and drop my voice. โWe both grew up in abusive households. He saw my face and your hand and . . . he was just worried for me. Thatโs all it was.โ Ryle brings his hands up and covers his mouth. I can hear the air rushing through his ๏ฌngers as he releases his breath. He stands
up straight, allowing himself a moment to soak in all Iโve just said. โMy turn,โ he says.
He pushes off the car and takes the three steps toward me that previously separated us. He puts both hands on my cheeks and looks me dead in the eyes. โIf you donโt want to be with me . . . please tell me right now, Lily. Because when I saw you with him . . . thatย hurt. I never want to feel that again. And if it hurts this much now, Iโm terri๏ฌed to think of what it could do to me a year from now.โ
I can feel the tears begin to stream down my cheeks. I place my hands on top of his and shake my head. โI donโt want anyone else, Ryle. I only want you.โ
He forces the saddest smile Iโve ever seen on a human. He pulls me to him and holds me there. I wrap my arms around him as tight as I can as he presses his lips to the side of my head.
โI love you, Lily.ย God,ย I love you.โ
I squeeze him tight, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. โI love you, too.โ
I close my eyes and wish I could wash away the entire last two days.
Atlas is wrong about Ryle.
I just wishย Atlasย knew he was wrong.
