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Chapter no 10

It Ends with us

โ€œCan I ask you a personal question?โ€

Allysa nods as she perfects a bouquet of ๏ฌ‚owers about to go out for delivery. Weโ€™re three days away from our grand opening, and it just keeps getting busier by the day.

โ€œWhat is it?โ€ Allysa asks, facing me. She leans into the counter and starts picking at her ๏ฌngernails.

โ€œYou donโ€™t have to answer it if you donโ€™t want to,โ€ I warn. โ€œWell I canโ€™t answer it if you donโ€™t ask it.โ€

Thatโ€™s a good point.ย โ€œDo you and Marshall donate to charity?โ€ Confusion crosses her face and she says, โ€œYeah. Why?โ€

I shrug. โ€œI was just curious. I wouldnโ€™t judge you or anything. Iโ€™ve just been thinking lately about how I might like to start a charity.โ€

โ€œWhat kind of charity?โ€ she asks. โ€œWe donate to a few different ones now that we have money, but my favorite is this one we got involved with last year. They build schools in other countries. Weโ€™ve funded three new constructions in the past year alone.โ€

I knew I liked her for a reason.

โ€œI donโ€™t have that kind of money, obviously, but Iโ€™d like to doย something. I just donโ€™t know what yet.โ€

โ€œLetโ€™s get through this grand opening ๏ฌrst and then you can

start thinking about philanthropy. One dream at a time, Lily.โ€ She walks around the counter and grabs the trash can. I watch as she pulls the full bag out of it and ties it in a knot. It makes me wonder whyโ€”if she has people for everythingโ€”she would even want a job where she had to take out the trash and get her hands dirty.

โ€œWhy do you work here?โ€ I ask her.

She glances up at me and smiles. โ€œBecause I like you,โ€ she says. But then I notice the smile completely leave her eyes right before she turns and walks toward the back to throw out the trash. When she comes back, Iโ€™m still watching her curiously. I say it again.

โ€œAllysa? Why do you work here?โ€

She stops what sheโ€™s doing and takes in a slow breath like maybe sheโ€™s contemplating being honest with me. She walks back to the counter and leans against it, crossing her feet at her ankles.

โ€œBecause,โ€ she says, looking down at her feet. โ€œI canโ€™t get pregnant. Weโ€™ve been trying for two years but nothing has worked. I was tired of sitting at home crying all the time, so I decided I should ๏ฌnd something to keep my mind busy.โ€ She stands up straight and wipes her hands across her jeans. โ€œAnd you, Lily Bloom, are keeping meย veryย busy.โ€ She turns and starts messing with the same bouquet of ๏ฌ‚owers again. Sheโ€™s been perfecting them for half an hour. She picks up a card and stuffs it in the ๏ฌ‚owers, and then turns around and hands me the vase. โ€œThese are for you, by the way.โ€

Itโ€™s obvious Allysa wants to change the subject, so I take the ๏ฌ‚owers from her. โ€œWhat do you mean?โ€

She rolls her eyes and waves me off to my of๏ฌce. โ€œItโ€™s on the card. Go read it.โ€

I can tell by her annoyed reaction that theyโ€™re from Ryle. I grin and run to my of๏ฌce. I take a seat at my desk and pull out the card.

Lily,

Iโ€™m having serious withdrawals.

โ€”Ryle

I smile and put the card back in the envelope. I grab my phone and snap a picture of me holding the ๏ฌ‚owers with my tongue sticking out. I text it to Ryle.

Me: I tried to warn you.

He immediately starts texting me back. I watch anxiously as the dots on my phone move back and forth.

Ryle: I need my next ๏ฌx. Iโ€™ll be ๏ฌnished here in about thirty minutes. Can I take you to dinner?

Me: Canโ€™t. Mom wants me to try a new restaurant with her tonight. Sheโ€™s an obnoxious foodie. : (

Ryle: I like food. I eat food. Where are you taking her? Me: A place called Bibโ€™s on Marketson.

Ryle: Is there room for one more?

I stare at his text for a moment.ย He wants to meet my mother?ย We arenโ€™t even of๏ฌcially dating. I mean . . . I donโ€™tย careย if he meets my mother. She would love him. But he went from not wanting anything to do with relationships, to possibly agreeing to test-drive one, to meeting the parents, all within ๏ฌve days?ย Good God. I reallyย amย a drug.

Me: Sure. Meet us there in half an hour.

I walk out of my of๏ฌce and straight up to Allysa. I hold my phone in front of her face. โ€œHe wants to meet my mother.โ€

โ€œWho?โ€

โ€œRyle.โ€

โ€œMy brother?โ€ she says, looking as shocked as I feel. I nod. โ€œYour brother.ย My mother.โ€

She grabs my phone and looks at the texts. โ€œHuh. Thatโ€™s so

weird.โ€

I take my phone from her hands. โ€œThanks for the vote of con๏ฌdence.โ€

She laughs and says, โ€œYou know what I mean. Itโ€™s Ryle weโ€™re talking about here. Heโ€™s never, in the history of being Ryle Kincaid, met a girlโ€™s parents.โ€

Of course hearing her say that makes me smile, but then I wonder if maybe heโ€™s doing this just to please me. If maybe heโ€™s doing things he doesnโ€™t really want to do just because he knows I want a relationship.

And then I smile even bigger, because isnโ€™t that what itโ€™s all about? Sacri๏ฌcing for the person you like so that you can see them happy?

โ€œYour brother mustย reallyย like me,โ€ I say teasingly. I look back up at Allysa, expecting her to laugh, but thereโ€™s a solemn look on her face.

She nods and says, โ€œYeah. Iโ€™m afraid he does.โ€ She grabs her purse from beneath the counter and says, โ€œIโ€™m gonna head out now. Let me know how it goes, okay?โ€ She moves past me and I watch her as she makes her way out the door, and then I just stare at the door for a long time.

It bothers me that she doesnโ€™t seem excited about the prospect of me dating Ryle. It makes me wonder if that has more to do with her feelings toward me or her feelings toward him.

โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข

Twenty minutes later, I ๏ฌ‚ip the sign to closed.ย Just a few more days. I lock the door and walk to my car, but stop short when I see someone leaning against it. It takes me a moment to recognize him. Heโ€™s facing the other direction, talking on his cell phone.

I thought he was meeting me at the restaurant, but okay.

The horn beeps on my car when I hit the Unlock button, and Ryle spins around. He grins when he sees me. โ€œYes, I agree,โ€ he says into the phone. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me against him, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. โ€œWeโ€™ll talk about it tomorrow,โ€ he says. โ€œSomething really important just came up.โ€

He hangs up the phone and slides it into his pocket, then he kisses me. Itโ€™s not a hello kiss. Itโ€™s an Iโ€™ve-been-thinking-about-you-nonstop kiss. He wraps both arms around me and spins me until Iโ€™m backed up against my car, where he continues to kiss me until I start to feel dizzy again. When he pulls back, heโ€™s looking down at me appreciatively.

โ€œYou know which part of you drives me the craziest?โ€ He brings his ๏ฌngers to my mouth and traces my smile. โ€œThese,โ€ he says. โ€œYour lips. I love how theyโ€™re as red as your hair and you donโ€™t even have to wear lipstick.โ€

I grin and kiss his ๏ฌngers. โ€œI better watch you around my mom, then, because everyone says we have the same mouth.โ€

He pauses his ๏ฌngers against my lips and he stops smiling. โ€œLily.

Just . . .ย no.โ€

I laugh and open my door. โ€œAre we taking separate cars?โ€

He pulls the door open for me the rest of the way and says, โ€œI took an Uber here from work. Weโ€™ll ride together.โ€

โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข

My mother is already seated at a table when we arrive. Her back is to the door as I lead the way.

Iโ€™m instantly impressed by the restaurant. My eyes are drawn to the warm, neutral colors painted on the walls and the almost full-sized tree in the middle of the restaurant. It looks like itโ€™s growing straight out of the ๏ฌ‚oor, almost as if the entire restaurant was

designed around the tree. Ryle follows closely behind me with his hand on my lower back. Once we reach the table, I begin to pull off my jacket. โ€œHey, Mom.โ€

She looks up from her phone and says, โ€œOh, hey, honey.โ€ She drops her phone in her purse and waves her hand around the restaurant. โ€œI already love it. Look at the lighting,โ€ she says, pointing up. โ€œThe ๏ฌxtures look like something youโ€™d grow in one of your gardens.โ€ Thatโ€™s when she notices Ryle, who is standing patiently next to me as I slide into the booth. My mother smiles at him and says, โ€œWeโ€™ll take two waters for now, please.โ€

My eyes dart to Ryle and then back to my mother. โ€œMom.ย Heโ€™s with me. Heโ€™s not the waiter.โ€

She looks up at Ryle again with confusion. He just smiles and reaches out his hand. โ€œHonest mistake, maโ€™am. Iโ€™m Ryle Kincaid.โ€

She returns the handshake, looking back and forth between us. He releases her hand and slides into the booth. She looks a little ๏ฌ‚ustered when she ๏ฌnally says, โ€œJenny Bloom. Nice to meet you.โ€ She places her attention back on me and raises an eyebrow. โ€œA friend of yours, Lily?โ€

I canโ€™t believe Iโ€™m not better prepared for this moment.ย What in the heck do I introduce him as? My trial run? I canโ€™t sayย boyfriend, but I canโ€™t very well sayย friend.ย Prospectย seems a little dated.

Ryle notices my pause, so he puts his hand on my knee and squeezes reassuringly. โ€œMy sister works for Lily,โ€ he says. โ€œHave you met her? Allysa?โ€

My mother leans forward in her booth and says, โ€œOh! Yes! Of course. You two look so much alike now that you mention it,โ€ she says. โ€œItโ€™s the eyes, I think. And the mouth.โ€

He nods. โ€œWe both favor our mother.โ€

My mother smiles at me. โ€œPeople always say they think Lily favors me.โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ he says. โ€œIdentical mouths. Uncanny.โ€ Ryle squeezes my knee under the table again while I try and suppress my laughter. โ€œLadies, if youโ€™ll excuse me, I need to head to the gentlemenโ€™s room.โ€ He leans in and kisses me on the side of the head before standing. โ€œIf the waiter comes, Iโ€™ll just take water.โ€

My motherโ€™s eyes follow Ryle as he walks away, and then she slowly turns back to me. She points at me and then to his empty

seat. โ€œHow come I havenโ€™t heard about this guy?โ€

I smile a little. โ€œThings are kind of . . . itโ€™s not really . . .โ€ I have no idea how to explain our situation to my mother. โ€œHe works a lot, so we havenโ€™t really spent that much time together. At all. This is actually the ๏ฌrst time weโ€™ve been to dinner together.โ€

My mother raises an eyebrow. โ€œReally?โ€ she says, leaning back in her seat. โ€œHe sure doesnโ€™t treat it like that. I meanโ€”he seems comfortably affectionate with you. Not normal behavior with someone youโ€™ve just met.โ€

โ€œWe didnโ€™t just meet,โ€ I say. โ€œItโ€™s been almost a year since the ๏ฌrst time I met him. And weโ€™ve spent time together, just not on a date. He works a lot.โ€

โ€œWhere does he work?โ€ โ€œMassachusetts General Hospital.โ€

My mother leans forward and her eyes practically bulge from her head. โ€œLily!โ€ she hisses. โ€œHeโ€™s aย doctor?โ€

I nod, suppressing my grin. โ€œA neurosurgeon.โ€

โ€œCan I get you ladies something to drink?โ€ a waiter asks. โ€œYeah,โ€ I say. โ€œWeโ€™ll take three . . .โ€

And then I clamp my mouth shut.

I stare at the waiter and the waiter stares back at me. My heart is in my throat. I canโ€™t remember how to speak.

โ€œLily?โ€ my mother says. She ๏ฌ‚icks her hand toward the waiter. โ€œHeโ€™s waiting for your drink order.โ€

I shake my head and begin to stutter. โ€œIโ€™ll . . . um . . .โ€

โ€œThree waters,โ€ my mother says, interrupting my fumbled words. The waiter snaps out of his trance long enough to tap his pencil on his pad of paper.

โ€œThree waters,โ€ he says. โ€œGot it.โ€ He turns and walks away, but I watch as he glances back at me before pushing through the doors to the kitchen.

My mother leans forward and says, โ€œWhat in the world is wrong with you?โ€

I point over my shoulder. โ€œThe waiter,โ€ I say, shaking my head. โ€œHe looked exactly like . . .โ€

Iโ€™m about to say, โ€œAtlas Corrigan,โ€ when Ryle walks up and slides back into the seat.

He glances back and forth between us. โ€œWhatโ€™d I miss?โ€

I swallow hard, shaking my head.ย Surely that wasnโ€™t really Atlas.ย But those eyesโ€”his mouth. I know itโ€™s been years since I saw him, but Iโ€™ll never forget what he looked like. Itย hadย to be him. I know it was and I know he recognized me, too, because the second our eyes met . . . it looked like heโ€™d seen a ghost.

โ€œLily?โ€ Ryle says, squeezing my hand. โ€œYou okay?โ€

I nod and force a smile, then clear my throat. โ€œYep. We were just talking about you,โ€ I say, glancing back at my mother. โ€œRyle assisted in an eighteen-hour surgery this week.โ€

My mother leans forward with interest. Ryle begins to tell her all about the surgery. Our water arrives, but itโ€™s a different waiter this time. He asks if weโ€™ve had a chance to go over the menu and then tells us the chefโ€™s specials. The three of us order our food and Iโ€™m doing everything I can to focus, but my attention is all over the restaurant looking for Atlas.ย I need to regroup.ย After a few minutes, I lean over to Ryle. โ€œI need to run to the restroom.โ€

He stands up to let me out and my eyes are scanning the face of every waiter as I make my way across the room. I push through the door to the hallway that leads to the restrooms. As soon as Iโ€™m alone, my back meets the wall of the hallway. I lean forward and release a huge breath. I decide to take a moment and regain my composure before heading back out there. I bring my hands up to my forehead and close my eyes.

For nine years Iโ€™ve wondered what happened to him.ย Years.ย โ€œLily?โ€

I glance up and suck in a breath. Heโ€™s standing at the end of the hallway like a ghost straight out of the past. My eyes travel to his feet to make sure heโ€™s not suspended in the air.

He isnโ€™t. Heโ€™s real, and heโ€™s standing right in front of me.

I stay pressed against the wall, not sure what to say to him. โ€œAtlas?โ€

As soon as I say his name, he blows out a quick breath of relief and then takes three huge steps forward. I catch myself doing the same. We meet in the middle and throw our arms around each other. โ€œHoly shit,โ€ he says, holding me in a tight embrace.

I nod. โ€œYeah. Holy shit.โ€

He puts his hands on my shoulders and takes a step back to look at me. โ€œYou havenโ€™t changed at all.โ€

I cover my mouth with my hand, still in shock, and give him the once-over. His face looks the same, but heโ€™s no longer the scrawny teenager I remember. โ€œI canโ€™t say the same for you.โ€

He looks down at himself and laughs. โ€œYeah,โ€ he says. โ€œEight years in the military will do that to ya.โ€

Weโ€™re both in shock, so nothing is said right after that. We just keep shaking our heads in disbelief. He laughs and then I laugh. Finally, he releases my shoulders and folds his arms over his chest. โ€œWhat brings you to Boston?โ€ he asks.

He says it so casually, and Iโ€™m thankful for that. Maybe he doesnโ€™t remember our conversation all those years ago about Boston, which would save me a lot of embarrassment.

โ€œI live here,โ€ I say, forcing my answer to sound as casual as his question. โ€œI own a ๏ฌ‚ower shop over on Park Plaza.โ€

He smiles knowingly, like it doesnโ€™t at all surprise him. I glance toward the door, knowing I should get back out there. He notices and then takes another step back. He holds my gaze for a moment and it gets really quiet. Way too quiet. Thereโ€™s so much to say but neither of us even knows where to start. The smile leaves his eyes for a moment and then he motions toward the door. โ€œYou should probably get back to your company,โ€ he says. โ€œIโ€™ll look you up sometime. You said Park Plaza, right?โ€

I nod. He nods.

The door swings open and a woman walks in holding a toddler. She moves between us, which puts even more distance between us. I take a step toward the door, but he remains in the same spot. Before I walk out, I turn back to him and smile. โ€œIt was really good to see you, Atlas.โ€

He smiles a little, but it doesnโ€™t touch his eyes. โ€œYeah. You too, Lily.โ€

โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข

Iโ€™m mostly quiet for the rest of the meal. Iโ€™m not sure Ryle or my mother even notice, though, because sheโ€™s having no issue ๏ฌring question after question at him. He takes it like a champ. Heโ€™s very charming with my mother in all the right ways.

Unexpectedly running into Atlas tonight put such a wrinkle in my emotions, but by the end of dinner, Ryle has smoothed them back out again.

My mother takes her napkin and wipes her mouth, then points at me. โ€œNew favorite restaurant,โ€ she says. โ€œIncredible.โ€

Ryle nods. โ€œI agree. I need to bring Allysa here. She loves trying new restaurants.โ€

The food really is good, but the last thing I need is for either of these two to want to come back here. โ€œIt was okay,โ€ I say.

He pays for our meals, of course, and then insists we walk my mother to her car. I can already tell sheโ€™ll be calling me about him tonight, simply by the prideful look on her face.

Once sheโ€™s gone, Ryle walks me to my car.

โ€œI requested an Uber so you wouldnโ€™t have to go out of your way to take me home. We have approximately . . .โ€ He looks down at his phone. โ€œOne and a half minutes to make out.โ€

I laugh. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck ๏ฌrst, and then my cheek. โ€œI would invite myself over, but I have an early surgery tomorrow and Iโ€™m sure my patient would appreciate it if I didnโ€™t spend the majority of the night inside you.โ€

I kiss him back, both disappointed and relieved heโ€™s not coming over. โ€œI have a grand opening in a few days. I should probably sleep, too.โ€

โ€œWhenโ€™s your next day off?โ€ he says. โ€œNever. Whenโ€™s yours?โ€

โ€œNever.โ€

I shake my head. โ€œWeโ€™re doomed. Thereโ€™s just too much drive and success between the two of us.โ€

โ€œThat means the honeymoon phase will last until weโ€™re eighty,โ€ he says. โ€œIโ€™ll come to your grand opening Friday and then the four of us will go out and celebrate.โ€ A car pulls up beside us and he wraps his hand in my hair and kisses me goodbye. โ€œYour mother is wonderful, by the way. Thank you for letting me come to dinner.โ€

He backs away and climbs inside the car. I watch as it pulls out of the parking lot.

I have a really good feeling about that man.

I smile and turn toward my car, but throw a hand up to my chest and gasp when I see him.

Atlas is standing at the rear of my car. โ€œSorry. Wasnโ€™t trying to scare you.โ€

I blow out a breath. โ€œWell, you did.โ€ I lean against the car and Atlas stays where he is, three feet away from me. He looks out at the street. โ€œSo? Whoโ€™s the lucky guy?โ€

โ€œHeโ€™s . . .โ€ My voice falters. This is all so weird. My chest is still constricted and my stomach is ๏ฌ‚ipping, and I canโ€™t tell if itโ€™s leftover nerves from kissing Ryle or if itโ€™s the presence of Atlas. โ€œHis name is Ryle. We met about a year ago.โ€

I instantly regret saying we met that long ago. It makes it sound like Ryle and I have been dating that long and we arenโ€™t even of๏ฌcially dating. โ€œWhat about you? Married? Have a girlfriend?โ€

Iโ€™m not sure if Iโ€™m asking to extend the conversation he started, or if Iโ€™m genuinely curious.

โ€œI do, actually. Her name is Cassie. Weโ€™ve been together almost a year now.โ€

Heartburn. I think I have heartburn.ย A year? I place my hand on my chest and nod. โ€œThatโ€™s good. You seem happy.โ€

Does he seem happy?ย I have no idea.

โ€œYeah. Well . . . Iโ€™m really glad I got to see you, Lily.โ€ He turns around to walk away, but then spins and faces me again, his hands shoved in his back pockets. โ€œI will say . . . I kind of wish this could have happened a year ago.โ€

I wince at his words, trying not to let them penetrate. He turns and walks back toward the restaurant.

I fumble with my keys and hit the button to unlock the car. I slide in and pull the door shut, gripping the steering wheel. For whatever reason, a huge tear falls down my cheek. A huge, pathetic, what-the-hell-is-this-wetness tear. I swipe at it and push the button to start my car.

I didnโ€™t expect to feel this much hurt after seeing him.

But itโ€™s good. This happened for a reason. My heart needed closure so I can give it to Ryle, but maybe I couldnโ€™t do that until this happened.

This is good. Yes, Iโ€™m crying.

But itโ€™ll feel better. This is just human nature, healing an old wound to prepare for a fresh new layer.

Thatโ€™s all.

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