โCan I ask you a personal question?โ
Allysa nods as she perfects a bouquet of ๏ฌowers about to go out for delivery. Weโre three days away from our grand opening, and it just keeps getting busier by the day.
โWhat is it?โ Allysa asks, facing me. She leans into the counter and starts picking at her ๏ฌngernails.
โYou donโt have to answer it if you donโt want to,โ I warn. โWell I canโt answer it if you donโt ask it.โ
Thatโs a good point.ย โDo you and Marshall donate to charity?โ Confusion crosses her face and she says, โYeah. Why?โ
I shrug. โI was just curious. I wouldnโt judge you or anything. Iโve just been thinking lately about how I might like to start a charity.โ
โWhat kind of charity?โ she asks. โWe donate to a few different ones now that we have money, but my favorite is this one we got involved with last year. They build schools in other countries. Weโve funded three new constructions in the past year alone.โ
I knew I liked her for a reason.
โI donโt have that kind of money, obviously, but Iโd like to doย something. I just donโt know what yet.โ
โLetโs get through this grand opening ๏ฌrst and then you can
start thinking about philanthropy. One dream at a time, Lily.โ She walks around the counter and grabs the trash can. I watch as she pulls the full bag out of it and ties it in a knot. It makes me wonder whyโif she has people for everythingโshe would even want a job where she had to take out the trash and get her hands dirty.
โWhy do you work here?โ I ask her.
She glances up at me and smiles. โBecause I like you,โ she says. But then I notice the smile completely leave her eyes right before she turns and walks toward the back to throw out the trash. When she comes back, Iโm still watching her curiously. I say it again.
โAllysa? Why do you work here?โ
She stops what sheโs doing and takes in a slow breath like maybe sheโs contemplating being honest with me. She walks back to the counter and leans against it, crossing her feet at her ankles.
โBecause,โ she says, looking down at her feet. โI canโt get pregnant. Weโve been trying for two years but nothing has worked. I was tired of sitting at home crying all the time, so I decided I should ๏ฌnd something to keep my mind busy.โ She stands up straight and wipes her hands across her jeans. โAnd you, Lily Bloom, are keeping meย veryย busy.โ She turns and starts messing with the same bouquet of ๏ฌowers again. Sheโs been perfecting them for half an hour. She picks up a card and stuffs it in the ๏ฌowers, and then turns around and hands me the vase. โThese are for you, by the way.โ
Itโs obvious Allysa wants to change the subject, so I take the ๏ฌowers from her. โWhat do you mean?โ
She rolls her eyes and waves me off to my of๏ฌce. โItโs on the card. Go read it.โ
I can tell by her annoyed reaction that theyโre from Ryle. I grin and run to my of๏ฌce. I take a seat at my desk and pull out the card.
Lily,
Iโm having serious withdrawals.
โRyle
I smile and put the card back in the envelope. I grab my phone and snap a picture of me holding the ๏ฌowers with my tongue sticking out. I text it to Ryle.
Me: I tried to warn you.
He immediately starts texting me back. I watch anxiously as the dots on my phone move back and forth.
Ryle: I need my next ๏ฌx. Iโll be ๏ฌnished here in about thirty minutes. Can I take you to dinner?
Me: Canโt. Mom wants me to try a new restaurant with her tonight. Sheโs an obnoxious foodie. : (
Ryle: I like food. I eat food. Where are you taking her? Me: A place called Bibโs on Marketson.
Ryle: Is there room for one more?
I stare at his text for a moment.ย He wants to meet my mother?ย We arenโt even of๏ฌcially dating. I mean . . . I donโtย careย if he meets my mother. She would love him. But he went from not wanting anything to do with relationships, to possibly agreeing to test-drive one, to meeting the parents, all within ๏ฌve days?ย Good God. I reallyย amย a drug.
Me: Sure. Meet us there in half an hour.
I walk out of my of๏ฌce and straight up to Allysa. I hold my phone in front of her face. โHe wants to meet my mother.โ
โWho?โ
โRyle.โ
โMy brother?โ she says, looking as shocked as I feel. I nod. โYour brother.ย My mother.โ
She grabs my phone and looks at the texts. โHuh. Thatโs so
weird.โ
I take my phone from her hands. โThanks for the vote of con๏ฌdence.โ
She laughs and says, โYou know what I mean. Itโs Ryle weโre talking about here. Heโs never, in the history of being Ryle Kincaid, met a girlโs parents.โ
Of course hearing her say that makes me smile, but then I wonder if maybe heโs doing this just to please me. If maybe heโs doing things he doesnโt really want to do just because he knows I want a relationship.
And then I smile even bigger, because isnโt that what itโs all about? Sacri๏ฌcing for the person you like so that you can see them happy?
โYour brother mustย reallyย like me,โ I say teasingly. I look back up at Allysa, expecting her to laugh, but thereโs a solemn look on her face.
She nods and says, โYeah. Iโm afraid he does.โ She grabs her purse from beneath the counter and says, โIโm gonna head out now. Let me know how it goes, okay?โ She moves past me and I watch her as she makes her way out the door, and then I just stare at the door for a long time.
It bothers me that she doesnโt seem excited about the prospect of me dating Ryle. It makes me wonder if that has more to do with her feelings toward me or her feelings toward him.
โข โข โข
Twenty minutes later, I ๏ฌip the sign to closed.ย Just a few more days. I lock the door and walk to my car, but stop short when I see someone leaning against it. It takes me a moment to recognize him. Heโs facing the other direction, talking on his cell phone.
I thought he was meeting me at the restaurant, but okay.
The horn beeps on my car when I hit the Unlock button, and Ryle spins around. He grins when he sees me. โYes, I agree,โ he says into the phone. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me against him, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. โWeโll talk about it tomorrow,โ he says. โSomething really important just came up.โ
He hangs up the phone and slides it into his pocket, then he kisses me. Itโs not a hello kiss. Itโs an Iโve-been-thinking-about-you-nonstop kiss. He wraps both arms around me and spins me until Iโm backed up against my car, where he continues to kiss me until I start to feel dizzy again. When he pulls back, heโs looking down at me appreciatively.
โYou know which part of you drives me the craziest?โ He brings his ๏ฌngers to my mouth and traces my smile. โThese,โ he says. โYour lips. I love how theyโre as red as your hair and you donโt even have to wear lipstick.โ
I grin and kiss his ๏ฌngers. โI better watch you around my mom, then, because everyone says we have the same mouth.โ
He pauses his ๏ฌngers against my lips and he stops smiling. โLily.
Just . . .ย no.โ
I laugh and open my door. โAre we taking separate cars?โ
He pulls the door open for me the rest of the way and says, โI took an Uber here from work. Weโll ride together.โ
โข โข โข
My mother is already seated at a table when we arrive. Her back is to the door as I lead the way.
Iโm instantly impressed by the restaurant. My eyes are drawn to the warm, neutral colors painted on the walls and the almost full-sized tree in the middle of the restaurant. It looks like itโs growing straight out of the ๏ฌoor, almost as if the entire restaurant was
designed around the tree. Ryle follows closely behind me with his hand on my lower back. Once we reach the table, I begin to pull off my jacket. โHey, Mom.โ
She looks up from her phone and says, โOh, hey, honey.โ She drops her phone in her purse and waves her hand around the restaurant. โI already love it. Look at the lighting,โ she says, pointing up. โThe ๏ฌxtures look like something youโd grow in one of your gardens.โ Thatโs when she notices Ryle, who is standing patiently next to me as I slide into the booth. My mother smiles at him and says, โWeโll take two waters for now, please.โ
My eyes dart to Ryle and then back to my mother. โMom.ย Heโs with me. Heโs not the waiter.โ
She looks up at Ryle again with confusion. He just smiles and reaches out his hand. โHonest mistake, maโam. Iโm Ryle Kincaid.โ
She returns the handshake, looking back and forth between us. He releases her hand and slides into the booth. She looks a little ๏ฌustered when she ๏ฌnally says, โJenny Bloom. Nice to meet you.โ She places her attention back on me and raises an eyebrow. โA friend of yours, Lily?โ
I canโt believe Iโm not better prepared for this moment.ย What in the heck do I introduce him as? My trial run? I canโt sayย boyfriend, but I canโt very well sayย friend.ย Prospectย seems a little dated.
Ryle notices my pause, so he puts his hand on my knee and squeezes reassuringly. โMy sister works for Lily,โ he says. โHave you met her? Allysa?โ
My mother leans forward in her booth and says, โOh! Yes! Of course. You two look so much alike now that you mention it,โ she says. โItโs the eyes, I think. And the mouth.โ
He nods. โWe both favor our mother.โ
My mother smiles at me. โPeople always say they think Lily favors me.โ
โYes,โ he says. โIdentical mouths. Uncanny.โ Ryle squeezes my knee under the table again while I try and suppress my laughter. โLadies, if youโll excuse me, I need to head to the gentlemenโs room.โ He leans in and kisses me on the side of the head before standing. โIf the waiter comes, Iโll just take water.โ
My motherโs eyes follow Ryle as he walks away, and then she slowly turns back to me. She points at me and then to his empty
seat. โHow come I havenโt heard about this guy?โ
I smile a little. โThings are kind of . . . itโs not really . . .โ I have no idea how to explain our situation to my mother. โHe works a lot, so we havenโt really spent that much time together. At all. This is actually the ๏ฌrst time weโve been to dinner together.โ
My mother raises an eyebrow. โReally?โ she says, leaning back in her seat. โHe sure doesnโt treat it like that. I meanโhe seems comfortably affectionate with you. Not normal behavior with someone youโve just met.โ
โWe didnโt just meet,โ I say. โItโs been almost a year since the ๏ฌrst time I met him. And weโve spent time together, just not on a date. He works a lot.โ
โWhere does he work?โ โMassachusetts General Hospital.โ
My mother leans forward and her eyes practically bulge from her head. โLily!โ she hisses. โHeโs aย doctor?โ
I nod, suppressing my grin. โA neurosurgeon.โ
โCan I get you ladies something to drink?โ a waiter asks. โYeah,โ I say. โWeโll take three . . .โ
And then I clamp my mouth shut.
I stare at the waiter and the waiter stares back at me. My heart is in my throat. I canโt remember how to speak.
โLily?โ my mother says. She ๏ฌicks her hand toward the waiter. โHeโs waiting for your drink order.โ
I shake my head and begin to stutter. โIโll . . . um . . .โ
โThree waters,โ my mother says, interrupting my fumbled words. The waiter snaps out of his trance long enough to tap his pencil on his pad of paper.
โThree waters,โ he says. โGot it.โ He turns and walks away, but I watch as he glances back at me before pushing through the doors to the kitchen.
My mother leans forward and says, โWhat in the world is wrong with you?โ
I point over my shoulder. โThe waiter,โ I say, shaking my head. โHe looked exactly like . . .โ
Iโm about to say, โAtlas Corrigan,โ when Ryle walks up and slides back into the seat.
He glances back and forth between us. โWhatโd I miss?โ
I swallow hard, shaking my head.ย Surely that wasnโt really Atlas.ย But those eyesโhis mouth. I know itโs been years since I saw him, but Iโll never forget what he looked like. Itย hadย to be him. I know it was and I know he recognized me, too, because the second our eyes met . . . it looked like heโd seen a ghost.
โLily?โ Ryle says, squeezing my hand. โYou okay?โ
I nod and force a smile, then clear my throat. โYep. We were just talking about you,โ I say, glancing back at my mother. โRyle assisted in an eighteen-hour surgery this week.โ
My mother leans forward with interest. Ryle begins to tell her all about the surgery. Our water arrives, but itโs a different waiter this time. He asks if weโve had a chance to go over the menu and then tells us the chefโs specials. The three of us order our food and Iโm doing everything I can to focus, but my attention is all over the restaurant looking for Atlas.ย I need to regroup.ย After a few minutes, I lean over to Ryle. โI need to run to the restroom.โ
He stands up to let me out and my eyes are scanning the face of every waiter as I make my way across the room. I push through the door to the hallway that leads to the restrooms. As soon as Iโm alone, my back meets the wall of the hallway. I lean forward and release a huge breath. I decide to take a moment and regain my composure before heading back out there. I bring my hands up to my forehead and close my eyes.
For nine years Iโve wondered what happened to him.ย Years.ย โLily?โ
I glance up and suck in a breath. Heโs standing at the end of the hallway like a ghost straight out of the past. My eyes travel to his feet to make sure heโs not suspended in the air.
He isnโt. Heโs real, and heโs standing right in front of me.
I stay pressed against the wall, not sure what to say to him. โAtlas?โ
As soon as I say his name, he blows out a quick breath of relief and then takes three huge steps forward. I catch myself doing the same. We meet in the middle and throw our arms around each other. โHoly shit,โ he says, holding me in a tight embrace.
I nod. โYeah. Holy shit.โ
He puts his hands on my shoulders and takes a step back to look at me. โYou havenโt changed at all.โ
I cover my mouth with my hand, still in shock, and give him the once-over. His face looks the same, but heโs no longer the scrawny teenager I remember. โI canโt say the same for you.โ
He looks down at himself and laughs. โYeah,โ he says. โEight years in the military will do that to ya.โ
Weโre both in shock, so nothing is said right after that. We just keep shaking our heads in disbelief. He laughs and then I laugh. Finally, he releases my shoulders and folds his arms over his chest. โWhat brings you to Boston?โ he asks.
He says it so casually, and Iโm thankful for that. Maybe he doesnโt remember our conversation all those years ago about Boston, which would save me a lot of embarrassment.
โI live here,โ I say, forcing my answer to sound as casual as his question. โI own a ๏ฌower shop over on Park Plaza.โ
He smiles knowingly, like it doesnโt at all surprise him. I glance toward the door, knowing I should get back out there. He notices and then takes another step back. He holds my gaze for a moment and it gets really quiet. Way too quiet. Thereโs so much to say but neither of us even knows where to start. The smile leaves his eyes for a moment and then he motions toward the door. โYou should probably get back to your company,โ he says. โIโll look you up sometime. You said Park Plaza, right?โ
I nod. He nods.
The door swings open and a woman walks in holding a toddler. She moves between us, which puts even more distance between us. I take a step toward the door, but he remains in the same spot. Before I walk out, I turn back to him and smile. โIt was really good to see you, Atlas.โ
He smiles a little, but it doesnโt touch his eyes. โYeah. You too, Lily.โ
โข โข โข
Iโm mostly quiet for the rest of the meal. Iโm not sure Ryle or my mother even notice, though, because sheโs having no issue ๏ฌring question after question at him. He takes it like a champ. Heโs very charming with my mother in all the right ways.
Unexpectedly running into Atlas tonight put such a wrinkle in my emotions, but by the end of dinner, Ryle has smoothed them back out again.
My mother takes her napkin and wipes her mouth, then points at me. โNew favorite restaurant,โ she says. โIncredible.โ
Ryle nods. โI agree. I need to bring Allysa here. She loves trying new restaurants.โ
The food really is good, but the last thing I need is for either of these two to want to come back here. โIt was okay,โ I say.
He pays for our meals, of course, and then insists we walk my mother to her car. I can already tell sheโll be calling me about him tonight, simply by the prideful look on her face.
Once sheโs gone, Ryle walks me to my car.
โI requested an Uber so you wouldnโt have to go out of your way to take me home. We have approximately . . .โ He looks down at his phone. โOne and a half minutes to make out.โ
I laugh. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck ๏ฌrst, and then my cheek. โI would invite myself over, but I have an early surgery tomorrow and Iโm sure my patient would appreciate it if I didnโt spend the majority of the night inside you.โ
I kiss him back, both disappointed and relieved heโs not coming over. โI have a grand opening in a few days. I should probably sleep, too.โ
โWhenโs your next day off?โ he says. โNever. Whenโs yours?โ
โNever.โ
I shake my head. โWeโre doomed. Thereโs just too much drive and success between the two of us.โ
โThat means the honeymoon phase will last until weโre eighty,โ he says. โIโll come to your grand opening Friday and then the four of us will go out and celebrate.โ A car pulls up beside us and he wraps his hand in my hair and kisses me goodbye. โYour mother is wonderful, by the way. Thank you for letting me come to dinner.โ
He backs away and climbs inside the car. I watch as it pulls out of the parking lot.
I have a really good feeling about that man.
I smile and turn toward my car, but throw a hand up to my chest and gasp when I see him.
Atlas is standing at the rear of my car. โSorry. Wasnโt trying to scare you.โ
I blow out a breath. โWell, you did.โ I lean against the car and Atlas stays where he is, three feet away from me. He looks out at the street. โSo? Whoโs the lucky guy?โ
โHeโs . . .โ My voice falters. This is all so weird. My chest is still constricted and my stomach is ๏ฌipping, and I canโt tell if itโs leftover nerves from kissing Ryle or if itโs the presence of Atlas. โHis name is Ryle. We met about a year ago.โ
I instantly regret saying we met that long ago. It makes it sound like Ryle and I have been dating that long and we arenโt even of๏ฌcially dating. โWhat about you? Married? Have a girlfriend?โ
Iโm not sure if Iโm asking to extend the conversation he started, or if Iโm genuinely curious.
โI do, actually. Her name is Cassie. Weโve been together almost a year now.โ
Heartburn. I think I have heartburn.ย A year? I place my hand on my chest and nod. โThatโs good. You seem happy.โ
Does he seem happy?ย I have no idea.
โYeah. Well . . . Iโm really glad I got to see you, Lily.โ He turns around to walk away, but then spins and faces me again, his hands shoved in his back pockets. โI will say . . . I kind of wish this could have happened a year ago.โ
I wince at his words, trying not to let them penetrate. He turns and walks back toward the restaurant.
I fumble with my keys and hit the button to unlock the car. I slide in and pull the door shut, gripping the steering wheel. For whatever reason, a huge tear falls down my cheek. A huge, pathetic, what-the-hell-is-this-wetness tear. I swipe at it and push the button to start my car.
I didnโt expect to feel this much hurt after seeing him.
But itโs good. This happened for a reason. My heart needed closure so I can give it to Ryle, but maybe I couldnโt do that until this happened.
This is good. Yes, Iโm crying.
But itโll feel better. This is just human nature, healing an old wound to prepare for a fresh new layer.
Thatโs all.