โWhat do you mean, theyโre waiting for you?โ I ask once weโre in front of Codagh, facing an open battlefield littered with the
corpses of wyvern and dragons alike. A pulsing ache of dread erupts in my chest.
Thereโs already been so much death, and we havenโt yet faced the worst of their forces. From the look of that line, theyโve held almost all of their dark wielders back.
โThatโs one of their teachers,โ Xaden says, his eyes locked on the venin riding front and center. โThe one who escaped Resson.โ
โHe was at the cliffs, too.โ I fight to keep my voice as calm as possible despite the palpitations of my heart. I need to get those wards upย now.ย Theyโre the best chance we have of getting out of here alive. But each dragon can only contribute their fire to one wardstone, which meansโ
โHe thought weโd be at Samara. Figured weโd do the honorable thing and answer Melgrenโs call.โ
โHow do you know that?โ My brow furrows. โDo us both a favor and donโt ask.โ
Tairn and Sgaeyl prowl out past Aimsir, monitoring the threats both on the ground and in the sky as they head this way. Heart pounding, I glance between them and the slowly lowering figure of the Sage a hundred yards away. Heโs coming to theย ground.
Shit. I have to be quick.
โIf you had to choose to correctly raise the wards here at Basgiath or ours atโฆโ I canโt say it. Not here. โWhat would you choose?โ
Xadenโs brow knits as he tears his gaze from the Sage to look at me.
โYou have to choose. I only have the resources to fully raise the wards here orโฆthere.โ Thereโs a blatant plea in my tone. โI could never take that choice from you.โ Heโs already given so much.
He flinches, then glances toward the hovering horde and the theatrically slow descent of the Sage on his wyvern before bringing his eyes back to mine quickly. โYou ward wherever you are, which is here.โ
โBut your homeโฆโ Itโs softer than a whisper.
โYouย are my home. And if we all die here today, then the knowledge dies with us anyway. Ward Basgiath.โ
โYouโre sure?โ My heart beats like the second hand of a clock, ticking down what time we have left.
โIโm sure.โ
I nod, then slip my hand from his and pivot, facing down the biggest dragon on the Continent. โI need to talk to you.โ
โHolyย fuck, Violet.โ Xaden turns, putting himself at my side as Codagh slowly lowers his head, tilting toward the end to glare at me with narrowed golden eyes, because even level, I wonโt come past his nostrils. โYou know what youโre doing?โ
โIf I donโt, weโre all dead.โ And Iโd better be quick, because Tairn is almost here. I can feel him dismantling my shields. No rider can keep their dragon out for long if they want in.
Codaghโs nostrils flare, and his lip curls above very sharp, very long, very close teeth.
โYouย know.โ It comes out like the accusation it is. โAnd you didnโt tell your rider because dragonkind protects dragonkind.โ
A blast of steam hits me in the face, and Xaden swears under his breath, shadows curling at his feet.
โYes. I figured it out. Iโve already used Tairnโs fire on the second wardstone, so if I power the stone at Basgiath, will you come?โ I ask, my
fingernails cutting into my palms to keep from shaking. This is the one dragon on the Continent besides Sgaeyl who doesnโt fear Tairn on one level or another.
โYou donโt need him as the black dragon for Basgiath,โ Xaden argues. โYou have Andarna.โ
โWill. You. Come?โ I hold Codaghโs menacing glare. โWeโre all dead if you donโt. The Empyrean will end.โ
He huffs another breath of steam, softer this time, then dips his chin in a curt nod, lifting his head as Tairn approaches from the left and Melgren appears on the far side of Codaghโs foreleg.
โYou court death?โย Tairn asks, pushing past my shields.
โI needed to confirm a secret that isnโt mine to share,โย I answer.ย โPlease donโt push.โ
Tairnโs talons flex in the icy slush beside me.
I turn to Xaden. โI donโt want to leave you, and I have about a million questions as to why you think theyโre coming for you, but if I donโtโฆโ Every fiber of my being rebels at the notion of leaving him.
Leaning in, he lifts his hand to the nape of my neck. โYou and I both know you canโt raise the wards and stay to fight. When we were in Resson, I held them back while you fought. I trusted you to handle yourself. Now trustย meย to handle myself while you get the wards up before more people die. End this.โ He kisses me hard and quick, then looks at me like this will be the last time he ever sees me. โI love you.โ
Ohโฆgods. No. I refuse to accept the goodbye in his tone.
โYou will stay alive,โ I order Xaden, then glance to the waiting horde, the figure of the Sage who is nearly to the ground, taking his time as if this is all a game heโs already won, and finally to Tairn. โStay with him.โ
Tairn growls, raising his lip over his fangs.
โStay with him for me. Donโt you dare let him die!โ Turning on my heel, I break into a run without saying goodbye to Xaden. Farewells arenโt needed when Iโll see him shortly. Because thereโs no chance Iโm going to fail.
โThe fliers want to fight,โ I say to Melgren. โLet them!โ
I pretend I havenโt been in a battle for the last two hours, havenโt wielded to exhaustion, havenโt pushed my body to the breaking point andย run.
โCut the storm so the gryphons can fly!โ I shout at my mother as I pass by, sprinting under the archway. Fuck her permission or her understanding. If the wardstone can hold power, Iโll imbue it on my own.
My arms pump and I force my legs toย move, despite the jarring pain in my knees. I run through the courtyard, dodging infantry squads, and I run up the central steps. I run through the open door and down the hall with a pounding heart and burning lungs. I run like Iโve been training for it since Resson.
I run because I couldnโt save Liam, couldnโt save Soleil, but I can save the rest of them. I can saveย him.ย And if I give myself even a moment to linger on the possibilities of what he might be facing, Iโll turn around and run straight back to Xaden.
Taking the spiral steps at breakneck speed has me dizzy when I reach the bottom of the southwest tower, and I donโt waste my gasped breaths on our first-years standing guard at the doorway as I sprint through, into the tunnel that smells like Varrish and pain.
โMove!โ I shout at Lynx and Baylor. Because I remember their names.
Avalynn. Sloane. Aaric. Kai, the flier. I know all the first-yearsโ names.
They dive to opposite sides, and I force my body sideways, shuffling through the narrowest part of the tunnel.
My chest tightens, and I think of Xaden.
Xaden, and the scent of thunderstorms, and books. Thatโs all I let in as I force my way through the passage. And as soon as it opens up, so do I, pushing myself harder than I ever have, racing down the rest of the tunnel and into the ward chamber lit by morning sunlight.
Only then do I skid to a halt and brace my hands on my knees, breathing deeply to keep from puking. โDoes. It. Work?โ I ask, looking up at the stone that is miraculously in one pieceย andย standing where it should be.
โDamn, Sorrengail, I donโt think Iโve ever seen you run that fast!โ Aaric lifts his brows.
โHere.โ Brennan stumbles out from next to Aaric, his reddish-brown waves damp with sweat, and the first-year catches him, slinging his arm over his shoulder to keep my brother standing. โIt took everything I had to mend it.โ
โWill it hold power?โ I ask, forcing myself to stand through the nausea. โTry,โ Brennan suggests. โIf it doesnโt, this was all for nothing.โ
Every second counts as I step up to the stone. It looks exactly how it did when we arrived last night, with the exception of the powerful hum of energy and the flames.
โLooks just like ours did before we imbued and fired it,โ Brennan observes.
โRight, except this stone was actually on fire when we got here,โ I tell him, lifting my hand to the black iron.
โIron doesnโt catch fire,โ Brennan argues.
โTell that to the wardstone,โ I counter. Without a conduit, this is harder than I imagined, but I have to know. Opening up the Archives door again, I welcome Tairnโs power in a focused trickle, just like Felix taught me, but instead of powering the conduit, I rest my fingertips on the wardstone and let it flow.
โHow long did it take for three to imbue the wardstone at home?โ Brennan asks.
โWeeks,โ I answer, my fingers tingling painfully, like theyโve just had circulation restored after a lengthy period of numbness, and I watch with more than a little satisfaction when energy streams past the tips. I pull my hand back an inch, just enough to see the white-blue strands connect my fingertips to the stone, and then I increase the power.
Heat prickles my skin, and I push myself to the edge to imbue, which isnโt as far as Iโd like it to be after hours of wielding. Sweat pops on my forehead,and my skin flushes red.
โWe donโt have weeks,โ Brennan says softly, as though talking to himself.
โI know.โ
Roars sound in the distance, and I look up through the chamberโs opening to the sky so far above us. My throat closes at the sight of gray clashing with green. With orange. My squad is up there fighting without me. Xaden is battling at the gates. Weโre out of time.
I cut my power, then rest my palm on the stone. Thereโs a tiny vibration, like the ripple of water after a pebble has been skipped into a vast lake. We donโt have enough pebbles. โIt can hold power, but we donโt have enough riders who can imbue down here.โ
โIโll have Marbh put the word out,โ Brennan says, and we both look skyward when a flash of red is quickly followed by one of gray.
โWe need every rider who can make it.โ But who the hell is going to stop fighting and risk the battle on a hunch? My heart careens. It looks exactly like what my mother warned us not to let happenโa full-on melee. A dark shape moves at the top edge of the chamber, and I lower my shields for the first time since speaking to Jesinia.
โGet down here,โย I say to Andarna, walking around to the back of the stone so no one coming to help imbue will see her.
โIโm not fond of pitsโโ
โNow.โย Thereโs no room for argument in my tone.
I put my hand on the stone and call my power to rise while she descends, blacking out the sun momentarily on her way down, where no one else can see. Power flows out of me in a steady drip, buzzing the ends of my fingertips as I feed it into the stone.
She lands, sticking to the shadows the morning light doesnโt yet touch.
โWhy didnโt you tell me?โ
Her golden eyes blink in the darkness.ย โTell you what?โ
โI know.โย I shake my head at her.ย โI should have known earlier. The second I saw you after Resson, I knew something was different about the sheen of your scales, but I figured Iโd never been around an adolescent, so what would I know?โ
โDifferent.โย She cocks her head to the side and steps out of the darkness, her scales shifting from midnight black to a shimmering deep purple.ย โThatโs exactly how Iโve always felt.โ
โItโs why you feel like you donโt fit in with the other adolescents,โย I note, my hand shaking as I hold the power steady, giving the stone what I can until others arrive to help.ย โItโs why you were allowed to bond. Gods, you told me yourself, but I thought you were just beingโฆโ
โAn adolescent?โย she challenges, flaring her nostrils.
Nodding, I try to ignore the sounds of battle high above so I can concentrate on saving us, even as anger barrels down the bond from Tairn, and furyโฆ I canโt think about what Xadenโs doing.ย โI should have listened when you said you were the head of your own den. Thatโs why no one could fight your Right of Benefaction last year. Why the Empyrean allowed a juvenile to bond.โ
โSay it. Donโt just guess,โย she demands.
Even a slow breath wonโt calm my racing heart.ย โYour scales arenโt really black.โ
โNo.โย Even now, her scales are changing, taking on the grayish hue of the stone around us.ย โBut he is, and I so badly want to be just like him.โ
โTairn.โย Itโs not hard to guess.
โHe doesnโt know. Only the elders do.โย She lowers her head, resting it on the ground in front of me.ย โThey revere him. He is strong, and loyal, and fierce.โ
โYou are all those things, too.โย I wobble under the strain of wielding but keep my balance, keep the power flowing into the stone.ย โYou didnโt have to hide. You could have told me.โ
โIf you didnโt figure it out, you werenโt worthy of knowing.โย She huffs.ย โI waited six hundred and fifty years to hatch. Waited until your eighteenth summer, when I heard our elders talk of the weakling daughter of their general, the girl forecasted to become the head of the scribes, and I knew. You would have the mind of a scribe and the heart of a rider. You would be mine.โย She leans into my hand.ย โYou are as unique as I am. We want the same things.โ
โYou couldnโt have known I would be a rider.โ โAnd yet, here we are.โ
A thousand questions go through my head, none of which we have the time for, so I give her exactly what I wantedโto be seen for who and what she is.ย โYou are not a black dragon, or any of the six that we know of. Youโre a seventh breed.โ
โYes.โย Her eyes widen in excitement.
I suck in a quick, steadying breath.ย โI want you to tell me everything, but our friends are dying, so I need to ask if you are willing to breathe fire for the stone.โย Sweat pops on my forehead as my temperature rises, and yet I pull more and more power, my arm trembling with the effort to keep it leashed, keep it trickling instead of striking.
โIt is why I was left behind.โย She cocks her head to the other side.ย โAt least from what I remember. It has been centuries.โ
โNice to see you, Cam. Your fatherโs been looking for you.โ I hear Momโs voice from the other side of the stone.
โIโm a bonded rider. Thereโs nothing he canโโ โDonโt really care. It holds power?โ
Mom?ย What the hell could she be doing here? She should be on the battlefield.ย โFly,โย I order Andarna, my voice weakening.ย โI donโt trust her to see you.โ
โIt holds power,โ Brennan replies.
Andarna hesitates, then launches, flying for the top of the chamber. My fingers scrape across the stone as I slowly make my way around the side.
โYou are pushing the limits,โย Tairn warns, distress tightening his tone.
โI have no choice.โย Taking a few staggered steps, I reach for Xaden lightly, not to distract but just to feelโ His shields are up, blocking me completely out.
โHe fights,โย Tairn says, and my vision darkens momentarily before clearing againโฆwith a view of the battlefield. Iโm seeing through his eyes just like I had Andarnaโs last year.
A swath of gray blocks out the world a second before the sky appears again, red flowing against the clouds in a stream, and then Tairn glances beneath him, watching the wyvern fall with a burst of satisfaction before he scans the ground, spotting Xaden near the edge of the ravine.
My heart beats erratically as I watch the Sage easily block each of Xadenโs shadows with blasts of blue daggers of fire, then stops completely when the dappled sunlight catches on two blades imbedded in the ground behind the staff-wielding venin.
Xaden must have thrown his daggers andย missed. I know he carries a third, but will he get to use it? Because the Sage isnโt losing territory. Heโs gaining on Xaden, coming closer step by step, backing Xaden against the edge of the ravine.
Green fire streams from overhead, and Tairn jerks his attention upward to Sgaeyl and the three wyvern moving in to attack, one blasting cherry-red fire. Ohย gods, there are even more breeds than we know about. Terror floods the pathway, and my vision darkens again, my ears ringing as if Iโve just been hit.
I blink and breathe deeply, forcing air through my throat as it constricts, and the chamber comes back into view. Stumbling one step, then another and another, I drag my hand along the slowly warming stone as I turn the corner to the front of the wardstone chamber, catching sight of Mom, Brennan, and Aaric in the middle of a conversation I canโt hear over the ringing in my ears.
The power not only burns but scorches my veins, my muscles, my very bones.
โYouโre burning out,โย Andarna warns, her voice pitching high with worry.
The next breath I take singes my lungs.
โSilver One!โย Tairn roars.
The wardsย haveย to go up.ย โYou both have to live. Promise me youโll choose to live.โ
Because Iโm starting to realize the price of imbuing this wardstone in time to save everyone I love, and itโs my life. My power feels so insignificant to a stone this size. It would takeย allย of Tairnโs powerโhis very lifeโand I wonโt give that. But I can give enough that the riders who make it can finish the job.
I fall to my knees, but I donโt lose contact. I pour and pour, opening my Archives door and taking on the full force of Tairnโs power, shaking with the effort to keep it controlled, focused, constructive instead of violent.
โViolet?โ Brennanโs voice sounds from far away.
Heat surges through me in waves as I push power into the stone, and my world narrows to pain, heat, and my racing heartbeat.
โViolet!โ Mom rushes to me, her eyes wide with fear as she reaches for my free hand, then gasps, drawing back a red, blistered palm.
The ground rises toward my face, and I throw that hand out to catch myself against the stone floor and keep channeling. So what if my skin sizzles, my fingers redden, my muscles give out, and I surrender to the fire? Nothing matters beyond imbuing this stone, raising the wards that will save my friends, my siblings,ย Xaden.
โWhatโs your signet?โ Mom shouts, but I lack the strength to lift my head.
โYou canโt do this,โย Andarna argues in a shriek.
โYou have your purpose.โย Even my mental voice is a whisper.ย โMaybe this is mine.โ
โHasnโt manifested,โ Aaric answers in a panic.
โWhat about the others out there?โ Momโs voice rises.
He starts to answer the ones he knows of, and I tune him out to stay focused on control, on lasting long enough to be the most use.
Brennan hits the ground to my left, crouching a few feet away, his lips moving, but I close my eyes and reach forย moreย of the power thatโs slowly killing me.
โYou will cease!โย Tairn orders.
โIโm so sorry.โย The muscles in my arm lock from exhaustion. Finally. Now I wonโt have to hold it in place. Iโm entering the final stages of burnout, just like I had on top of the mountain with Varrish.ย โYou shouldnโt have to lose two riders this way.โ
Forcing my eyes open, I stare at the pattern of rock beneath my fingers, and I get it. I finally understand why someone would turn to stealing magic.
All of the power in the world is beneath my fingertips, and if I channel, if I take from the earth instead of from Tairn, Iโll have enough power to saveโ
โYou must saveย yourself,โย Tairn demands.ย โI chose you not as my next, but as my last, and should you fall, then Iย willย follow.โ
โNo.โย Steam rises from my skin.
โLet go,โย Andarna pleads, and the rush of air in the chamber paired with the slight tremble of the ground tells me sheโs landed.
โI wonโt do it!โ Sloaneโs shout echoes off the walls and breaks through the haze.
Inch by painful inch, I force myself to raise my head, just in time to see Brennanโs eyes widen and Momโs boot rising toward my shoulder. She makes impact softly, and before I can open my mouth, she kicks with her full strength, sending me sprawling across the chamber floor and breaking my hold on the wardstone.
Power flies into the air with the crack of lightning as I hit my back, and a scream tears from my throat, the sound echoed by Brennan as his face fills my vision and he grasps my hand. Cool relief streaks up my arm, the burn fading, my muscles mending from the strain and releasing.
If I donโt cut the power, heโll die. He canโt mend me that fast over and over, and the next wave of heat pushes forwardโ
I shove the Archives door closed with the last of my mental strength, and the power cuts off. The relief from Tairn and Andarna is instant, but all I taste is the sour bite of defeat as I lie there, my brother kneeling next to me as he mends the body Iโve been so reckless with.
And above me, I see a flash of green before the swarm comes into view, the sky darkening with beating gray wings.
โItโs the only way,โ Mom yells, and I turn my head as my muscles knit and my skin cools. โYou canโt imbue something this big in an instant. Not without hundreds of riders, which we donโt have. If you want to save your friends, youโll do this!โ she shouts at Sloane, her fingers wrapped around the first-yearโs wrist as she drags her to the wardstone.
โMom?โ I croak, but she doesnโt answer. โYouโre a Mairi,โ Mom says to Sloane.
โYes.โ Her bright blue eyes meet mine, wide with uncertainty. โI killed your mother.โ Mom taps on her chest.
โMom!โ I shout.
Brennan collapses next to me, pale and sweating, and I haul myself to my knees.
โI tracked her down and hauled her to her own execution, remember?โ Mom says to Sloane, pushing her against the stone. โYou were there. I made you watch. You and your brother.โ
โLiam,โ Sloane whispers.
Mom nods, picking up Sloaneโs left hand and putting it on the lowest circle of the massive rune carved into the stone. โI could have stopped his death, too, if Iโd just paid a little more attention last year to what my own aide was doing.โ
โNo!โ I shout, lunging forward. Aaric runs in from the side of the ward chamber, not only catching me butย stoppingย me. โLet me go!โ
โI canโt,โ he says apologetically. โSheโs right. And if I have to choose between her life and yours, I choose yours.โ
My life orโฆhers?
โAndarna!โ I scream.
โIโm so sorry. I choose your life, too. You are mine. I canโt let you die.โ
Andarna shifts around my side, moving forward so sheโs poised to step between my mother and me.
Ohย gods. No. Sloane is a siphon.
โCan you hear them up there dying? Thatโs whatโs happening,โ Mom says, her tone softer than sheโs ever used with me. โYour friends are dying, Cadet Mairi. Tyrrendorโs heir is fighting for his life, and you can stop it. You can save them all.โ She picks up her free hand, and to my dread, Sloane doesnโt drop the other from the stone.
โDonโt do it!โ I cry. โSloane, thatโs myย mother.โ This isnโt happening. Maybe Sloane wonโt listen to me, but sheโll listen to Xaden. I throw down my shieldsโ
Pain. Agonizing, blistering pain roars down the pathway. Hopelessness andโฆ helplessness? It hits me from every angle, stealing my breath,
overwhelming my senses and my strength. My body sagsโmy full weight in Aaricโs armsโas my mind fights to separate Xadenโs emotions from mine.
Heโsโฆ I canโt think around the pain, canโt breathe for the tightness in my chest, canโt feel the ground beneath my feet.
โXadenโs dying,โ I whisper.
Sloaneโs gaze snaps to mine, and thatโs all it takes.
โYou donโt have to do anything but stand there,โ my mother promises somewhere in the distance. โYour signet will take over for you. Think of yourself as nothing more than a conduit for power. Youโre simply facilitating mine flowing into the stone.โ
โViolet?โ Sloane whispers.
I drag my gaze to hers, but Iโm not here. Not really. Iโm dying on the battlefield, the last of my strength fading, burning, consuming my body. But it will be worth it to save the one I love.ย Violet.
โFight!โย I scream down the bond at all three of them, shouting past blood and vengeance. Wrath and fire. The sour taste of wyvern flesh between her teeth.
โYou can do this,โ Mom says, her voice soothing.
โMom!โ My voice cracks as she laces her fingers with Sloaneโs.
โItโs all right,โ Mom says to me, her eyes softening as Sloaneโs body goes rigid. โAs soon as my powerโAimsirโs powerโlives within the stone, fire it. Raise the wards. Thereโs nothing I wouldnโt do to keep you safe. Do you understand? Everything was to get you to this moment, when youโd be strong enoughโโ She falls to her knees but doesnโt let go of Sloane.
โNo, no, no.โ I fight Aaricโs arms as my chest threatens to collapse, to crumple in on my heart. Mom blinks in and out of my vision, blurry one second, then clear.
โIโm so sorry,โ Aaric whispers.
โYouโre everything we dreamed you would be,โ Mom says quietly, her skin paling even as Sloaneโs flushes scarlet. โAll three of you.โ She looks down at Brennan. โAnd Iโll get to see him soon.โ
Our father. My eyes flare as I struggle to break free from Aaric.
โDonโt,โ Brennan begs, shaking his head. โDonโt do this.โ He staggers to his feet, stumbling her direction, but doesnโt get far before falling.
โLive well.โ Her head bobs and her eyes roll as her skin takes on a waxy pallor thatโs an obscene contrast to her flight leathers as her chest rises and falls slower, in a stuttered, incomplete breath.
Brennan crawls toward her.
Footsteps sound from behind me, coming at us at a run. โNo!โ I scream, tearing my throat, ripping into my soul.
A distinct, hair-raising hum emanates from the wardstone as Mom falls forward into Brennanโs arms.
Sloane staggers backward, staring at her palms like they belong to someone else, and Aaric finally lets me go.
I fly forward, hitting my knees in front of where Brennan sits with Momโs body draped across his lap, his hand trembling as he reaches for her face. My fingers find her neck, but thereโs no pulse. No heat. No life.
The only beat I hear are bootsteps racing into the chamber. Sheโs gone.
โMom,โ Brennan whispers, his face crumpling as he looks down at her. โWhat did youย do!โ Mira drops to her knees and pulls Momโs body from
Brennan, her hands furiously seeking what mine just had, any sign of a heartbeat. โMom?โ She shakes her violently, but Momโs head rolls onto her shoulder.
โMom!โ
I canโt breathe. Sheโs the tide, the storms, the very air, a force too big to be extinguished without ripping the world itself apart to the core. How can she just be gone?
โIโm so sorry.โ Sloane cries softly.
โWhat did you do?โ Mira yells again, the full force of her wrath turned on Brennan.
โXaden needs you,โย Andarna says, but I canโt move.ย โTairn and Sgaeyl wait with him.โ
โWe need to get them out,โ Aaric says, and there are handsโhis, I think
โon my shoulders, pulling me up off the floor and guiding me backward.
Mira follows, hooking her arms under Momโs and dragging her from the chamber. Sloane helps Brennan, and then weโre all in the tunnel. Someone else carries Mom. One of the first-years?
Miraโs hands are on my face, searching my eyes, as a shape blocks the entrance to the tunnel. โAre you all right?โ
โI couldnโt stop her.โ Was that my voice? Or Brennanโs?
Heat flares, intense enough to suck the oxygen from my lungs, but it doesnโt touch us.
Andarna is in the doorway, her wings flared to stop the flame that circles the chamber, flowing in from six above and the one who makes all the difference. A pulse of energy runs through me in a wave. The wards.
When Andarna moves, my gaze wanders up the mended wardstone to the iron flame that burns black on top.
Itโs all thatโs left of my mother.