โBIOTECHNOLOGY HAS BEENย around for a long time, but it wasnโt always very effective,โ Caleb says. He starts on the crust of his toastโhe ate the middle first, just like he used to when we were little.
He sits across from me in the cafeteria, at the table closest to the windows. Carved into the wood along the tableโs edge are the letters โDโ and โTโ linked together by a heart, so small I almost didnโt see them. I run my fingers over the carving as Caleb speaks.
โBut Erudite scientists developed this highly effective mineral solution a while back. It was better for the plants than dirt,โ he says. โItโs an earlier version of that salve they put on your shoulderโit accelerates the growth of new cells.โ
His eyes are wild with new information. Not all the Erudite are power hungry and devoid of conscience, like their leader, Jeanine Matthews. Some of them are like Caleb: fascinated by everything, dissatisfied until they find out how it works.
I rest my chin on my hand and smile a little at him. He seems upbeat this morning. I am glad he has found something to distract him from his grief.
โSo Erudite and Amity work together, then?โ I say.
โMore closely than Erudite and any other faction,โ he says. โDonโt you remember from our Faction History book? It called them the โessential factionsโโwithout them, we would be incapable of survival. Some of the Erudite texts called them the โenriching factions.โ And one of Eruditeโs missions as a faction was to become bothโessential and enriching.โ
It doesnโt sit well with me, how much our society needs Erudite to function. But theyย areย essentialโwithout them, there would be inefficient farming, insufficient medical treatments, and no technological advance.
I bite my apple.
โYou arenโt going to eat your toast?โ he says.
โThe bread tastes strange,โ I say. โYou can have it if you want.โ
โIโm amazed by how they live here,โ he says as he takes the toast from my plate. โTheyโre completely self-sustaining. They have their own source of power, their own water pumps, their own water filtration, their own food sources Theyโre independent.โ
โIndependent,โ I say, โand uninvolved. Must be nice.โ
Itย isย nice, from what I can tell. The large windows beside our table let in so much sunlight I feel like Iโm sitting outside. Clusters of Amity sit at the other tables, their clothes bright against their tanned skin. On me the yellow looks dull.
โSo I take it Amity wasnโt one of the factions you had an aptitude for,โ he says, grinning.
โNo.โ The group of Amity a few seats away from us bursts into laughter. They havenโt even glanced in our direction since we sat down to eat. โKeep it down, all right? Itโs not something I want to broadcast.โ
โSorry,โ he says, leaning over the table so that he can talk quieter. โSo what were they?โ
I feel myself tensing, straightening. โWhy do you want to know?โ โTris,โ he says, โIโm your brother. You can tell me anything.โ
His green eyes never waver. Heโs abandoned the useless spectacles he wore as a member of Erudite in favor of an Abnegation gray shirt and their trademark short haircut. He looks just as he did a few months ago, when we were living across the hall from each other, both of us considering switching factions but not brave enough to tell one another. Not trusting him enough to tell him was a mistake I do not want to make again.
โAbnegation, Dauntless,โ I say, โand Erudite.โ โThreeย factions?โ His eyebrows lift.
โYes. Why?โ
โIt just seems like a lot,โ he says. โWe each had to choose a research focus in Erudite initiation, and mine was the aptitude test simulation, so I know a lot about the way itโs designed. Itโs really difficult for a person to get two results
โthe program actually doesnโt allow it. But to getย threeย . . . Iโm not even sure how thatโs possible.โ
โWell, the test administrator had to alter the test,โ I say. โShe forced it to go to that situation on the bus so that she could rule out Eruditeโexcept Erudite wasnโt ruled out.โ
Caleb props his chin on a fist. โA program override,โ he says. โI wonder how your test administrator knew how to do that. Itโs not something theyโre taught.โ
I frown. Tori was a tattoo artist and an aptitude test volunteerโhowย didย she know how to alter the aptitude test program? If she was good with computers, it was only as a hobby, and I doubt that a computer hobby would enable someone to fiddle with an Erudite simulation.
Then something from one of my conversations with her surfaces.ย My brother and I both transferred from Erudite.
โShe was Erudite,โ I say. โA faction transfer. Maybe thatโs how.โ
โMaybe,โ he says, tapping his fingersโfrom left to rightโagainst his cheek. Our breakfasts sit, almost forgotten, between us. โWhat does this mean about your brain chemistry? Or anatomy?โ
I laugh a little. โI donโt know. All I know is that Iโm always aware during simulations, and sometimes I can wake myself up from them. Sometimes they donโt even work. Like the attack simulation.โ
โHow do you wake yourself up from them? What do you do?โ
โI . . .โ I try to remember. I feel like it has been a long time since I was in one, though it was only a few weeks. โItโs hard to say, because the Dauntless simulations were supposed to end when we had calmed down. But in one of mine . . . the one where Tobias figured out what I was . . . I just did something impossible. I broke glass just by putting my hand on it.โ
Calebโs expression becomes distant, like he is looking into faraway places. Nothing like what I just described ever happened to him in the aptitude test simulation, I know. So maybe he is wondering what it felt like, or how itโs possible. My cheeks grow warmerโhe is analyzing my brain like he would analyze a computer or a machine.
โHey,โ I say. โCome back.โ
โSorry,โ he says, focusing on me again. โItโs just . . .โ
โFascinating. Yeah, I know. You always look like someoneโs sucked the life right out of you when something fascinates you.โ
He laughs.
โCan we talk about something else, though?โ I say. โThere may not be any Erudite or Dauntless traitors around, but it still feels weird, talking about it in public like this.โ
โAll right.โ
Before he can go on, the cafeteria doors open, and a group of Abnegation come in. They wear Amity clothes, like me, but also like me, itโs obvious what faction they are really in. They are silent, but not somberโthey smile at the Amity they pass, inclining their heads, a few of them stopping to exchange pleasantries.
Susan sits down next to Caleb with a small smile. Her hair is pulled back in its usual knot, but her blond hair shines like gold. She and Caleb sit just slightly closer than friends would, though they do not touch. She bobs her head to greet me.
โIโm sorry,โ she says. โDid I interrupt?โ โNo,โ says Caleb. โHow are you?โ โIโm well. How are you?โ
I am just about to flee the dining hall rather than participate in careful, polite Abnegation conversation when Tobias comes in, looking harassed. He
must have been working in the kitchen this morning, as part of our agreement with the Amity. I have to work in the laundry rooms tomorrow.
โWhat happened?โ I say as he sits down next to me.
โIn their enthusiasm for conflict resolution, the Amity have apparently forgotten that meddling createsย moreย conflict,โ says Tobias. โIf we stay here much longer, I am going to punch someone, and itโs not going to be pretty.โ
Caleb and Susan both raise their eyebrows at him. A few of the Amity at the table next to ours stop talking to stare.
โYou heard me,โ Tobias says to them. They all look away.
โAs I said,โ I say, covering my mouth to hide my smile, โwhat happened?โ โIโll tell you later.โ
It must have to do with Marcus. Tobias doesnโt like the dubious looks the Abnegation give him when he refers to Marcusโs cruelty, and Susan is sitting right across from him. I clasp my hands in my lap.
The Abnegation sit at our table, but not right next to usโa respectful distance of two seats away, though most of them still nod at us. They were my familyโs friends and neighbors and coworkers, and before, their presence would have encouraged me to be quiet and self-effacing. Now it makes me want to talk louder, to be as far from that old identity and the pain that accompanies it as possible.
Tobias goes completely still when a hand falls on my right shoulder, sending prickles of pain down my right arm. I clench my teeth to keep from groaning.
โShe got shot in that shoulder,โ Tobias says without looking at the man behind me.
โMy apologies.โ Marcus lifts his hand and sits down on my left. โHello.โ โWhat doย youย want?โ I say.
โBeatrice,โ Susan says quietly. โThereโs no need toโโ
โSusan, please,โ says Caleb quietly. She presses her lips into a line and looks away.
I frown at Marcus. โI asked you a question.โ
โI would like to discuss something with you,โ says Marcus. His expression is calm, but heโs angryโthe terseness in his voice betrays him. โThe other Abnegation and myself have discussed it and decided that we should not stay here. We believe that, given the inevitability of further conflict in our city, it would be selfish of us to stay here while what remains of our faction is inside that fence. We would like to request that you escort us.โ
I did not expect that. Why does Marcus want to return to the city? Is it really just an Abnegation decision, or does he intend to do something thereโ something that has to do with whatever information the Abnegation have?
I stare at him for a few seconds and then look at Tobias. He has relaxed a little, but he keeps his eyes focused on the table. I donโt know why he acts this way around his father. No one, not even Jeanine, makes Tobias cower.
โWhat do you think?โ I say.
โI think we should leave the day after tomorrow,โ Tobias says.
โOkay. Thank you,โ says Marcus. He gets up and sits at the other end of the table with the rest of the Abnegation.
I inch closer to Tobias, not sure how to comfort him without making things worse. I pick up my apple with my left hand, and grab his hand under the table with my right.
But I canโt keep my eyes away from Marcus. I want to know more about what he said to Johanna. And sometimes, if you want the truth, you have to demand it.