Chapter no 2

In the Time of the Butterflies

โ€ŒCHAPTER TWO

Minerva

1938, 1941, 1944

Complications 1938

I donโ€™t know who talked Papรก into sending us away to school. Seems like it would have taken the same angel who announced to Mary that she was pregnant with God and got her to be glad about it.

The four of us had to ask permission for everything: to walk to the fields to see the tobacco filling out; to go to the lagoon and dip our feet on a hot day; to stand in front of the store and pet the horses as the men loaded up their wagons with supplies.

Sometimes, watching the rabbits in their pens, Iโ€™d think, Iโ€™m no different from you, poor things. One time, I opened a cage to set a half-grown doe free. I even gave her a slap to get her going.

But she wouldnโ€™t budge! She was used to her little pen. I kept slapping her, harder each time, until she started whimpering like a scared child. I was the one hurting her, insisting she be free.

Silly bunny, I thought. Youโ€™re nothing at all like me.

 

 

It started with Patria wanting to be a nun. Mamรก was all for having a religious in the family, but Papรก did not approve in the least. More than once, he said that Patria as a nun would be a waste of a pretty girl. He only said that once in front of Mamรก, but he repeated it often enough to me.

Finally, Papรก gave in to Mamรก. He said Patria could go away to a convent school if it wasnโ€™t one just for becoming a nun. Mamรก agreed.

So, when it came time for Patria to go down to Inmaculada Concepciรณn, I asked Papa if I could go along. That way I could chaperone my older sister, who was already a grown-up seรฑorita. (And she had told me all about how girls become senoritas, too.)

Papa laughed, his eyes flashing proudly at me. The others said I was his favorite. I donโ€™t know why since I was the one always standing up to him. He pulled me to his lap and said, โ€œAnd who is going to chaperoneย you?โ€

โ€œDedรฉ,โ€ I said, so all three of us could go together. He pulled a long face. โ€œIf all my little chickens go, what will become of me?โ€

I thought he was joking, but his eyes had their serious look. โ€œPapรก,โ€ I informed him, โ€œyou might as well get used to it. In a few years, weโ€™re all going to marry and leave you.โ€

For days he quoted me, shaking his head sadly and concluding, โ€œA daughter is a needle in the heart.โ€

Mama didnโ€™t like him saying so. She thought he was being critical because their only son had died a week after he was born. And just three years ago, Maria Teresa was bom a girl instead of a boy. Anyhow, Mama didnโ€™t think it was a bad idea to send all three of us away. โ€œEnrique, those girls need some learning. Look at us.โ€ Mamรก had never admitted it, but I suspected she couldnโ€™t even read.

โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong with us?โ€ Papรก countered, gesturing out the window where wagons waited to be loaded before his warehouses. In the last few years, Papรก had made a lot of money from his farm. Now we had class. And, Mama argued, we needed the education to go along with our cash.

Papa caved in again, but said one of us had to stay to help mind the store. He always had to add a little something to whatever Mamรก came up with.

Mama said he was just putting his mark on everything so no one could say Enrique Mirabal didnโ€™t wear the pants in his family.

I knew what he was up to all right. When Papa asked which one of us would stay as his little helper, he looked directly at me.

I didnโ€™t say a word. I kept studying the floor like maybe my school lessons were chalked on those boards. I didnโ€™t need to worry. Dedรฉ always was the smiling little miss. โ€œIโ€™ll stay and help, Papรก.โ€

Papรก looked surprised because really Dedรฉ was a year older than me. She and Patria should have been the two to go away. But then, Papรก thought it over and said Dedรฉ could go along, too. So it was settled, all three of us would go to Inmaculada Concepciรณn. Me and Patria would start in the fall, and Dedรฉ would follow in January since Papรก wanted the math whiz to help with the books during the busy harvest season.

And thatโ€™s how I got free. I donโ€™t mean just going to sleepaway school on a train with a trunkful of new things. I mean in my head after I got to Inmaculada and met Sinita and saw what happened to Lina and realized that Iโ€™d just left a small cage to go into a bigger one, the size of our whole country.

 

 

First time I met Sinita she was sitting in the parlor where Sor Asunciรณn was greeting all the new pupils and their mothers. She was all by herself, a skinny girl with a sour look on her face and pokey elbows to match. She was dressed in black, which was odd as most children werenโ€™t put in mourning clothes until they were at least fifteen. And this little girl didnโ€™t look any older than me, and I was only twelve. Though I would have argued with anyone who told me I was just a kid!

I watched her. She seemed as bored as I was with all the polite talk in that parlor. It was like a heavy shaking of talcum powder in the brain hearing all those mothers complimenting each otherโ€™s daughters and lisping back in good Castilian to the Sisters of the Merciful Mother. Where was this girlโ€™s mother? I wondered. She sat alone, glaring at everybody, as if she would

pick a fight if you asked her where her mother was. I could see, though, that she was sitting on her hands and biting her bottom lip so as not to cry. The straps on her shoes had been cut off to look like flats, but they looked worn out, was what they looked like.

I got up and pretended to study the pictures on the walls like I was a lover of religious art. When I got to the Merciful Mother right above Sinitaโ€™s head, I reached in my pocket and pulled out the button Iโ€™d found on the train. It was sparkly like a diamond and had a little hole in back so you could thread a ribbon through it and wear it like a romantic ladyโ€™s choker necklace. It wasnโ€™t something Iโ€™d do, but I could see the button would make a good trade with someone inclined in that direction.

I held it out to her. I didnโ€™t know what to say, and it probably wouldnโ€™t have helped anyway. She picked it up, turned it all around, and then set it back down in my palm. โ€œI donโ€™t want your charity.โ€

I felt an angry tightness in my chest. โ€œItโ€™s just a friendship button.โ€

She looked at me a moment, a deciding look like she couldnโ€™t be sure of anybody. โ€œWhy didnโ€™t you just say so?โ€ She grinned as if we were already friends and could tease each other.

โ€œI did just say so,โ€ I said. I opened up my hand and offered her the button again. This time she took it.

 

 

After our mothers left, we stood on line while a list was made of everything in our bags. I noticed that along with not having a mother to bring her, Sinita didnโ€™t own much either. Everything she had was tied up in a bundle, and when Sor Milagros wrote it out, all it took was a couple of lines:ย 3 change of underwear, 4 pair of socks, brush and comb, towel and nightdress.ย Sinita offered the sparkly button, but Sor Milagros said it wasnโ€™t necessary to write that down.

โ€œCharity student,โ€ the gossip went round. โ€œSo?โ€ I challenged the giggly girl with curls like hiccups, who whispered it to me. She shut up real quick. It made me glad all over again Iโ€™d given Sinita that button.

Afterwards, we were taken into an assembly hall and given all sorts of welcomes. Then Sor Milagros, who was in charge of the tens through twelves, took our smaller group upstairs into the dormitory hall we would share. Our side-by-side beds were already set up for the night with mosquito nets. It looked like a room of little bridal veils.

Sor Milagros said she would now assign us our beds according to our last names. Sinita raised her hand and asked if her bed couldnโ€™t be next to mine. Sor Milagros hesitated, but then a sweet look came on her face. Sure, she said. But when some other girls asked, she said no. I spoke right up, โ€œI donโ€™t think itโ€™s fair if you just make an exception for us.โ€

Sor Milagros looked mighty surprised. I suppose being a nun and all, not many people told her what was wrong and right. Suddenly, it struck me, too, that this plump little nun with a bit of her gray hair showing under her headdress wasnโ€™t Mamรก or Papรก I could argue things with. I was on the point of apologizing, but Sor Milagros just smiled her gap-toothed smile and said, โ€œAll right, Iโ€™ll allow you all to choose your own beds. But at the first sign of argumentโ€โ€”some of the girls had already sprung towards the best beds by the window and were fighting about who got there first

โ€”โ€œweโ€™ll go back to alphabetical. Is that clear?โ€ โ€œYes, Sor Milagros,โ€ we chorused.

She came up to me and took my face in her hands. โ€œWhatโ€™s your name?โ€ she wanted to know.

I gave her my name, and she repeated it several times like she was tasting it. Then she smiled like it tasted just fine. She looked over at Sinita, whom they all seemed partial to, and said, โ€œTake care of our dear Sinita.โ€

โ€œI will,โ€ I said, standing up straight like Iโ€™d been given a mission. And thatโ€™s what it turned out to be, all right.

 

 

A few days later, Sor Milagros gathered us all around for a little talk. Personal hygiene, she called it. I knew right away it would be about

interesting things described in the most uninteresting way.

First, she said there had been some accidents. Anyone needing a canvas sheet should come see her. Of course, the best way to prevent a mishap was to be sure to visit our chamber pots every night before we got in bed. Any questions?

Not a one.

Then, a shy, embarrassed look came on her face. She explained that we might very well become young ladies while we were at school this year. She went through a most tangled-up explanation about the how and why, and finished by saying if we should start our complications, we should come see her. This time she didnโ€™t ask if there were any questions.

I felt like setting her straight, explaining things simply the way Patria had explained them to me. But I guessed it wasnโ€™t a good idea to try my luck twice in the first week.

When she left, Sinita asked me if I understood what on earth Sor Milagros had been talking about. I looked at her surprised. Here sheโ€™d been dressed in black like a grownup young lady, and she didnโ€™t know the first thing. Right then, I told Sinita everything I knew about bleeding and having babies between your legs. She was pretty shocked, and beholden. She offered to trade me back the secret of Trujillo.

โ€œWhat secret is that?โ€ I asked her. I thought Patria had told me all the secrets.

โ€œNot yet,โ€ Sinita said looking over her shoulder.

 

 

It was a couple of weeks before Sinita got to her secret. Iโ€™d forgotten about it, or maybe Iโ€™d just put it out of my mind, a little scared what I might find out. We were busy with classes and making new friends. Almost every night someone or other came visiting under our mosquito nets or we visited them. We had two regulars, Lourdes and Elsa, and soon all four of us started doing everything together. It seemed like we were all just a little

differentโ€”Sinita was charity and you could tell; Lourdes was fat, though as friends we called her pleasantly plump when she asked, and she asked a lot; Elsa was pretty in an I-told-you-so way, as if she hadnโ€™t expected to turn out pretty and now she had to prove it. And me, I couldnโ€™t keep my mouth shut when I had something to say.

The night Sinita told me the secret of Trujillo I couldnโ€™t sleep. All day I hadnโ€™t felt right, but I didnโ€™t tell Sor Milagros. I was afraid sheโ€™d stick me in the sickroom and Iโ€™d have to lie in bed, listening to Sor Consuelo reading novenas for the sick and dying. Also, if Papa found out, he might change his mind and keep me home where I couldnโ€™t have any adventures.

I was lying on my back, looking up into the white tent of the mosquito net, and wondering who else was awake. In her bed next to mine, Sinita began to cry very quietly as if she didnโ€™t want anybody to know. I waited a little, but she didnโ€™t stop. Finally, I stepped over to her bed and lifted the netting. โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€ I whispered.

She took a second to calm down before she answered. โ€œItโ€™s Josรฉ Luis.โ€ โ€œYour brother?โ€ We all knew he had died just this last summer. Thatโ€™s

how come Sinita had been wearing black that first day.

Her body began to shake all over with sobs. I crawled in and stroked her hair like Mama did mine whenever I had a fever. โ€œTell me, Sinita, maybe itโ€™ll help.โ€

โ€œI canโ€˜t,โ€ she whispered. โ€œWe can all be killed. Itโ€™s the secret of Trujillo.โ€

Well, all I had to be told was I couldnโ€™t know something for me to have to know it. So I reminded her, โ€œCome on, Sinita. I told you about babies.โ€

It took some coaxing, but finally she began.

She told me stuff I didnโ€™t even know about her. I thought she was always poor, but it turned out her family used to be rich and important. Three of her uncles were even friends of Trujillo. But they turned against him when they saw he was doing bad things.

โ€œBad things?โ€ I interrupted. โ€œTrujillo was doing bad things?โ€ It was as if I had just heard Jesus had slapped a baby or Our Blessed Mother had not

conceived Him the immaculate conception way. โ€œThat canโ€™t be true,โ€ I said, but in my heart, I felt a china-crack of doubt.

โ€œWait,โ€ Sinita whispered, her thin fingers finding my mouth in the dark. โ€œLet me finish.

โ€œMy uncles, they had a plan to do something to Trujillo, but somebody told on them, and all three were shot, right on the spot.โ€ Sinita took a deep breath as if she were going to blow out all her grandmotherโ€™s birthday candles.

โ€œBut what bad things was Trujillo doing that they wanted to kill him?โ€ I asked again. I couldnโ€™t leave it alone. At home, Trujillo hung on the wall by the picture of Our Lord Jesus with a whole flock of the cutest lambs.

Sinita told me as much as she knew. I was shaking by the time she was through.

 

 

According to Sinita, Trujillo became president in a sneaky way. First, he was in the army, and all the people who were above him kept disappearing until he was the one right below the head of the whole armed forces.

This man who was the head general had fallen in love with another manโ€™s wife. Trujillo was his friend and so he knew all about this secret. The womanโ€™s husband was a very jealous man, and Trujillo made friends with him, too.

One day, the general told Trujillo he was going to be meeting this woman that very night under the bridge in Santiago where people meet to do bad things. So Trujillo went and told the husband, who waited under the bridge for his wife and this general and shot them both dead.

Very soon after that, Trujillo became head of the armed forces.

โ€œMaybe Trujillo thought that general was doing a bad thing by fooling around with somebody elseโ€™s wife,โ€ I defended him.

I heard Sinita sigh. โ€œJust wait,โ€ she said, โ€œbefore you decide.โ€

After Trujillo became the head of the army, he got to talking to some people who didnโ€™t like the old president. One night, these people surrounded the palace and told the old president that he had to leave. The old president just laughed and sent for his good friend, the head of the armed forces. But General Trujillo didnโ€™t come and didnโ€™t come. Soon, the old president was the ex-president on an airplane to Puerto Rico. Then, something that surprised even the people who had surrounded the palace, Trujillo announced he was the president.

โ€œDidnโ€™t anyone tell him that wasnโ€™t right?โ€ I asked, knowing I would have.

โ€œPeople who opened their big mouths didnโ€™t live very long,โ€ Sinita said. โ€œLike my uncles I told you about. Then, two more uncles, and then my father.โ€ Sinita began crying again. โ€œThen this summer, they killed my brother.โ€

My tummy ache had started up again. Or maybe it was always there, but Iโ€™d forgotten about it while trying to make Sinita feel better. โ€œStop, please,โ€ I begged her. โ€œI think Iโ€™m going to throw up.โ€

โ€œI canโ€˜t,โ€ she said.

Sinitaโ€™s story spilled out like blood from a cut.

 

 

One Sunday this last summer, her whole family was walking home from church. Her whole family meant all Sinitaโ€™s widowed aunts and her mother and tons of girl cousins, with her brother Josรฉ Luis being the only boy left in the entire family. Everywhere they went, the girls were assigned places around him. Her brother had been saying that he was going to revenge his father and uncles, and the rumor all over town was that Trujillo was after him.

As they were rounding the square, a vendor came up to sell them a lottery ticket. It was the dwarf they always bought from, so they trusted him.

โ€œOh Iโ€™ve seen him!โ€ I said. Sometimes when we would go to San Francisco in the carriage, and pass by the square, there he was, a grown man no taller than me at twelve. Mama never bought from him. She claimed Jesus told us not to gamble, and playing the lottery was gambling. But every time I was alone with Papรก, he bought a whole bunch of tickets and called it a good investment.

Josรฉ Luis asked for a lucky number. When the dwarf went to hand him the ticket, something silver flashed in his hand. Thatโ€™s all Sinita saw. Then Josรฉ Luis was screaming horribly and her mother and all the aunts were shouting for a doctor. Sinita looked over at her brother, and the front of his white shirt was covered with blood.

I started crying, but I pinched my arms to stop. I had to be brave for Sinita.

โ€œWe buried him next to my father. My mother hasnโ€™t been the same since. Sor Asunciรณn, who knows my family, offered to let me come toย el colegioย for free.โ€

The aching in my belly was like wash being wrung so tightly, there wasnโ€™t a drop of water left in the clothes. โ€œIโ€™ll pray for your brother,โ€ I promised her. โ€œBut Sinita, one thing. How is this Trujilloโ€™s secret?โ€

โ€œYou still donโ€™t get it? Minerva, donโ€™t you see? Trujillo is having everyone killed!โ€

I lay awake most of that night, thinking about Sinitaโ€™s brother and her uncles and her father and this secret of Trujillo that nobody but Sinita seemed to know about. I heard the clock, down in the parlor, striking every hour. It was already getting light in the room by the time I fell asleep.

In the morning, I was shaken awake by Sinita. โ€œHurry,โ€ she was saying. โ€œYouโ€™re going to be late for Matins.โ€ All around the room, sleepy girls were clapping away in their slippers towards the crowded basins in the washroom. Sinita grabbed her towel and soap dish from her night table and joined the exodus.

As I came fully awake, I felt the damp sheet under me. Oh no, I thought, Iโ€™ve wet my bed! After Iโ€™d told Sor Milagros that I wouldnโ€™t need an extra

canvas sheet on my mattress.

I lifted the covers, and for a moment, I couldnโ€™t make sense of the dark stains on the bottom sheet. Then I brought up my hand from checking myself. Sure enough, my complications had started.

ยกPobrecita!

1941

The country people around the farm say that until the nail is hit, it doesnโ€™t believe in the hammer. Everything Sinita said I filed away as a terrible mistake that wouldnโ€™t happen again. Then the hammer came down hard right in our own school, right on Lina Lovatรณnโ€™s head. Except she called it love and went off, happy as a newlywed.

Lina was a couple of years older than Elsa, Lourdes, Sinita, and me; but her last year at Inmaculada, we were all in the same dormitory hall of the fifteens through seventeens. We got to know her, and love her, which amounted to the same thing when it came to Lina Lovatรณn.

We all looked up to her as if she were a lot older than even the other seventeens. She was grownup-looking for her age, tall with red-gold hair and her skin like something just this moment coming out of the oven, giving off a warm golden glow. Once when Elsa pestered her in the washroom while Sor Socorro was over at the convent, Lina slipped off her gown and showed us what we would look like in a few years.

She sang in the choir in a clear beautiful voice like an angel. She wrote in a curlicued hand that was like the old prayerbooks with silver clasps Sor Asunciรณn had brought over from Spain. Lina taught us how to roll our hair, and how to curtsy if we met a king. We watched her. All of us were in love with our beautiful Lina.

The nuns loved her too, always choosing Lina to read the lesson during silent dinners or to carry the Virgencita in the Sodality of Mary processions. As often as my sister Patria, Lina was awarded the weekly good-conduct

ribbon, and she wore it proudly, bandolier style, across the front of her blue serge uniform.

I still remember the afternoon it all started. We were outside playing volleyball, and our captain Lina was leading us to victory. Her thick plaited hair was coming undone, and her face was pink and flushed as she flung herself here and there after the ball.

Sor Socorro came hurrying out. Lina Lovatรณn had to come right away. An important visitor was here to meet her. This was very unusual since we werenโ€™t allowed weekday visitors and the sisters were very strict about their rules.

Off Lina went, Sor Socorro straightening her hair ribbons and pulling at the pleats of her uniform to make the skirt fall straight. The rest of us resumed our game, but it wasnโ€™t as much fun now that our beloved captain was gone.

When Lina came back, there was a shiny medal pinned on her uniform just above her left breast. We crowded around her, wanting to know all about her important visitor. โ€œTrujillo?โ€ we all cried out. โ€œTrujillo came to see you?โ€ Sor Socorro rushed out for a second time that day, hushing and rounding us up. We had to wait until lights-out that night to hear Linaโ€™s story.

It turned out that Trujillo had been visiting some officialโ€™s house next door, and attracted by the shouts from our volleyball game below, he had gone out on the balcony. When he caught sight of our beautiful Lina, he walked right over to the school, followed by his surprised aides, and insisted on meeting her. He wouldnโ€™t take no for an answer. Sor Asunciรณn finally gave in and sent for Lina Lovatรณn. Soldiers swarmed about them, Lina said, and Trujillo took a medal off his own uniform and pinned it on hers!

โ€œWhat did you do?โ€ we all wanted to know In the moonlight streaming in from the open shutters, Lina Lovatรณn showed us. Lifting the mosquito net, she stood in front of us and made a deep curtsy.

Soon, every time Trujillo was in townโ€”and he was in La Vega more often than he had ever been beforeโ€”he stopped in to visit Lina Lovatรณn.

Gifts were sent over to the school: a porcelain ballerina, little bottles of perfume that looked like pieces of jewelry and smelled like a rose garden wished it could smell, a satin box with a gold heart charm inside for a bracelet that Trujillo had already given her with a big L charm to start it off.

At first the sisters were frightened. But then, they started receiving gifts, too: bolts of muslim for making convent sheets and terrycloth for their towels and a donation of a thousand pesos for a new statue of the Merciful Mother to be carved by a Spanish artist living in the capital.

Lina always told us about her visits from Trujillo. It was kind of exciting for all of us when he came. First, classes were cancelled, and the whole school was overrun by guards poking through all our bedrooms. When they were done, they stood at attention while we tried to tease smiles out of their on-guard faces. Meanwhile, Lina disappeared into the parlor where we had all been delivered that first day by our mothers. As Lina reported, the visit usually started with Trujillo reciting some poetry to her, then saying he had some surprise on his person she had to find. Sometimes heโ€™d ask her to sing or dance. Most especially, he loved for her to play with the medals on his chest, taking them off, pinning them back on.

โ€œBut do you love him?โ€ Sinita asked Lina one time. Sinitaโ€™s voice sounded as disgusted as if she were asking Lina if she had fallen in love with a tarantula.

โ€œWith all my heart,โ€ Lina sighed. โ€œMore than my life.โ€

 

 

Trujillo kept visiting Lina and sending her gifts and love notes she shared with us. Except for Sinita, I think we were all falling in love with the phantom hero in Linaโ€™s sweet and simple heart. From the back of my drawer where I had put it away in consideration for Sinita, I dug up the little picture of Trujillo we were all given in Citizenship Class. I placed it under my pillow at night to ward off nightmares.

For her seventeenth birthday, Trujillo threw Lina a big party in a new house he had just built outside Santiago. Lina went away for the whole

week of her birthday. On the actual day, a full-page photograph of Lina appeared in the papers and beneath it was a poem written by Trujillo himself:

She was born a queen, not by dynastic right, but by the right of beauty

whom divinity sends to the world only rarely.

Sinita claimed that someone else had written it for him because Trujillo hardly knew how to scratch out his own name. โ€œIf I were Linaโ€”โ€ she began, and her right hand reached out as if grabbing a bunch of grapes and squeezing the juice out of them.

Weeks went by, and Lina didnโ€™t return. Finally, the sisters made an announcement that Lina Lovatรณn would be granted her diploma by government orders inย absentia.ย โ€œWhy?โ€ we asked Sor Milagros, who was still our favorite. โ€œWhy wonโ€™t she come back to us?โ€ Sor Milagros shook her head and turned her face away, but not before I had seen tears in her eyes.

That summer, I found out why. Papรก and I were on our way to Santiago with a delivery of tobacco in the wagon. He pointed out a high iron gate and beyond it a big mansion with lots of flowers and the hedges all cut to look like animals. โ€œLook, Minerva, one of Trujilloโ€™s girlfriends lives there, your old schoolmate, Lina Lovatรณn.โ€

โ€œLina?!โ€ My breath felt tight inside my chest as if it couldnโ€™t get out. โ€œBut Trujillo is married,โ€ I argued. โ€œHow can he have Lina as a girlfriend?โ€

Papรก looked at me a long time before he said, โ€œHeโ€™s got many of them, all over the island, set up in big, fancy houses. Lina Lovatรณn is just a sad case, because she really does love him,ย pobrecita.โ€ Right there he took the opportunity to lecture me about why the hens shouldnโ€™t wander away from the safety of the barnyard.

Back at school in the fall during one of our nightly sessions, the rest of the story came out. Lina Lovatรณn had gotten pregnant in the big house. Trujilloโ€™s wife Doรฑa Marรญa had found out and gone after her with a knife. So Trujillo shipped Lina off to a mansion heโ€™d bought for her in Miami where he knew sheโ€™d be safe. She lived all alone now, waiting for him to

call her up. I guess there was a whole other pretty girl now taking up his attention.

โ€œPobrecita,โ€ย we chorused, like an amen.

We were quiet, thinking of this sad ending for our beautiful Lina. I felt my breath coming short again. At first, I had thought it was caused by the cotton bandages I had started tying around my chest so my breasts wouldnโ€™t grow. I wanted to be sure what had happened to Lina Lovatรณn would never happen to me. But every time Iโ€™d hear one more secret about Trujillo I could feel the tightening in my chest even when I wasnโ€™t wearing the bandages.

โ€œTrujillo is a devil,โ€ Sinita said as we tiptoed back to our beds. We had managed to get them side by side again this year.

But I was thinking, No, he is a man. And in spite of all Iโ€™d heard, I felt sorry for him.ย iPobrecito!ย At night, he probably had nightmare after nightmare like I did, just thinking about what heโ€™d done.

Downstairs in the dark parlor, the clock was striking the hours like hammer blows.

The Performance 1944

It was our countryโ€™s centennial year. Weโ€™d been having celebrations and performances ever since Independence Day on February 27th. Patria had celebrated her twentieth birthday that day, and weโ€™d thrown her a big party in Ojo de Agua. Thatโ€™s how my family got around having to give some sort of patriotic affair to show their support of Trujillo. We pretended the party was in his honor with Patria dressed in white, her little boy Nelson in red, and Pedrito, her husband, in blue. Oh yes, the nun thing had fallen through.

It wasnโ€™t just my family putting on a big loyalty performance, but the whole country. When we got to school that fall, we were issued new history textbooks with a picture of you-know-who embossed on the cover so even a

blind person could tell who the lies were all about. Our history now followed the plot of the Bible. We Dominicans had been waiting for centuries for the arrival of our Lord Trujillo on the scene. It was pretty disgusting.

All through nature there is a feeling of ecstasy. A strange otherworldly light suffuses the house smelling of labor and sanctity. The 24th of October in 1891. Godโ€™s glory made flesh in a miracle. Rafael Leonidas Trujillo has been born!

At our first assembly, the sisters announced that, thanks to a generous donation from El Jefe, a new wing had been added for indoor recreation. It was to be known as the Lina Lovatรณn Gymnasium, and in a few weeks, a recitation contest would be held there for the entire school. The theme was to be our centennial and the generosity of our gracious Benefactor.

As the announcement was being made, Sinita and Elsa and Lourdes and I looked at each other, settling that we would do our entry together. We had all started out together at Inmaculada six years ago, and everyone now called us the quadruplets. Sor Asunciรณn was always joking that when we graduated in a couple years, she was going to have to hack us apart with a knife.

We worked hard on our performance, practicing every night after lights out. We had written all our own lines instead of just reciting things from a book. That way we could say what we wanted instead of what the censors said we could say.

Not that we were stupid enough to say anything bad about the government. Our skit was set way back in the olden days. I played the part of the enslaved Motherland, tied up during the whole performance until the very end when Liberty, Glory, and the narrator untied me. This was supposed to remind the audience of our winning our independence a hundred years ago. Then, we all sang the national anthem and curtsied like Lina Lovatรณn had taught us. Nobody could get upset with that!

 

 

The night of the recitation contest we could hardly eat our dinners, we were so nervous and excited. We dressed in one of the classrooms, helping each other with the costumes and painting our faces, for the sisters did allow makeup for performances. Of course, we never washed up real good afterwards, so that the next day we walked around with sexy eyes, rosy lips, and painted-on beauty marks as if we were at a you-know-what-kind-of-a- place instead of a convent school.

And the quadruplets were the best, by far! We took so many curtain calls that we were still on stage when Sor Asunciรณn came up to announce the winners. We started to exit, but she motioned us back. The place broke into wild clapping, stomping, and whistling, all of which were forbidden as unladylike. But Sor Asunciรณn seemed to have forgotten her own rules. She held up the blue ribbon since no one would quiet down to hear her announce that we had won.

What we did hear her say when the audience finally settled down was that we would be sent along with a delegation from La Vega to the capital to perform the winning piece for Trujillo on his birthday. We looked at each other, shocked. The nuns had never said anything about this added performance. Later as we undressed in the classroom, we discussed turning down the prize.

โ€œIโ€™m not going,โ€ I declared, washing off all the goop on my face. I wanted to make a protest, but I wasnโ€™t sure what to do,

โ€œLetโ€™s do it, oh please,โ€ Sinita pleaded. There was such a look of desperation on her face, Elsa and Lourdes readily agreed, โ€œLetโ€™s.โ€

โ€œBut they tricked us!โ€ I reminded them.

โ€œPlease, Minerva, please,โ€ Sinita coaxed. She put her arm around me, and when I tried to pull away, she gave me a smack on the cheek.

I couldnโ€™t believe Sinita would really want to do this, given how her family felt about Trujillo. โ€œBut Sinita, why would you want to perform for him?โ€

Sinita drew herself up so proud she looked like Liberty all right. โ€œItโ€™s not for him. Our playโ€™s about a time when we were free. Itโ€™s like a hidden

protest.โ€

That settled it. I agreed to go on the condition that we do the skit dressed as boys. At first, my friends grumbled because we had to change a lot of the feminine endings, and so the rhymes all went to pot. But the nearer the big day approached, the more the specter of Lina haunted us as we did jumping jacks in the Lina Lovatรณn Gymnasium. Her beautiful portrait stared across the room at the picture of El Jefe on the opposite wall.

We went down to the capital in a big car provided by the Dominican Party in La Vega. On the way, Sor Asunciรณn read us the epistle, which is what she called the rules we were to observe. Ours was the third performance in the girlsโ€˜-school division. It would begin at five, and we would stay to the conclusion of the La Vega performances, and be back at el colegio for bedtime juice. โ€œYou must show the nation you are its jewels, Inmaculada Concepciรณn girls. Is that perfectly clear?โ€

โ€œYes, Sor Asunciรณn,โ€ we chorused back absently. But we were too excited about our glorious adventure to pay much attention to rules. Along the way, every time some cute fellows passed us in their fast, fancy cars, weโ€™d wave and pucker up our mouths. Once, a car slowed, and the boys inside called out compliments. Sister scowled fiercely at them and turned around to see what was going on in the back seat of the car. We looked blithely at the road ahead, quadruplet angels. We didnโ€™t have to be in a skit to give our best performance!

But as we neared the capital, Sinita got more and more quiet. There was a sad, wistful look on her face, and I knew who she was missing.

Before long we were waiting in an anteroom of the palace alongside other girls from schools all over the country. Sor Asunciรณn came in, swishing her habit importantly and motioned for us. We were ushered into a large hall, bigger than any room Iโ€™d ever been in. Through a break in a row of chairs, we came to the center of the floor. We turned circles trying to get our bearings. Then I recognized him under a canopy of Dominican flags, the Benefactor Iโ€™d heard about all my life.

In his big gold armchair, he looked much smaller than I had imagined him, looming as he always was from some wall or other. He was wearing a

fancy white uniform with gold fringe epaulets and a breast of medals like an actor playing a part.

We took our places, but he didnโ€™t seem to notice. He was turned towards a young man, sitting beside him, also wearing a uniform. I knew it was his handsome son, Ramfis, a full colonel in the army since he was four years old. His picture was always in the papers.

Ramfis looked our way and whispered something to his father, who laughed loudly. How rude, I thought; after all, we were here to pay them compliments. The least they could do was pretend that we didnโ€™t look like fools in our ballooning togas and beards and bows and arrows.

Trujillo nodded for us to start. We stood frozen, gawking, until Sinita finally pulled us all together by taking her place. I was glad I got to recline on the ground, because my knees were shaking so hard I was afraid that the Fatherland might faint right on the spot.

Miraculously, we all remembered our lines. As we said them out loud, our voices gathered confidence and became more expressive. Once when I stole a glance, I saw that the handsome Ramfis and even El Jefe were caught up in our performance.

We moved along smoothly, until we got to the part when Sinita was supposed to stand before me, the bound Fatherland. After I said,

Over a century, languishing in chains,

Dare I now hope for freedom from my woes? Oh, Liberty, unfold your brilliant bow,

Sinita was to step forward, show her brilliant bow. Then, having aimed imaginary arrows at imaginary foes, she was to set me free by untying me.

But when we got to this part, Sinita kept on stepping forward and didnโ€™t stop until she was right in front of Trujilloโ€™s chair. Slowly, she raised her bow and took aim. There was a stunned silence in the hall.

Quick as gunfire, Ramfis leapt to his feet and crouched between his father and our frozen tableau. He snatched the bow from Sinitaโ€™s hand and broke it over his raised knee. The crack of the splintering wood released a

hubbub of whispers and murmurs. Ramfis looked intently at Sinita, who glared right back at him. โ€œYou shouldnโ€™t play that way.โ€

โ€œIt was part of the play,โ€ I lied. I was still bound, reclining on the floor. โ€œShe didnโ€™t mean any harm.โ€

Ramfis looked at me, and then back at Sinita. โ€œWhatโ€™s your name?โ€ โ€œLiberty,โ€ Sinita said.

โ€œYour real name, Liberty?โ€ he barked at her as if she were a soldier in his army.

โ€œPerozo.โ€ She said it proudly.

He lifted an eyebrow, intrigued. And then, like a hero in a storybook, he helped me up. โ€œUntie her, Perozo,โ€ he ordered Sinita. But when she reached over to work the knots loose, he grabbed her hands and yanked them behind her back. He spit these words out at her: โ€œUse your dog teeth, bitch!โ€

His lips twisted into a sinister little smile as Sinita bent down and untied me with her mouth.

My hands freed, I saved the day, according to what Sinita said later. I flung off my cape, showing off my pale arms and bare neck. In a trem- bly voice I began the chant that grew into a shouting chorusย ยกViva Trujillo!

ยกViva Trujillo! ยกViva Trujillo!

On the way home, Sor Asunciรณn scolded us. โ€œYou were not the ornaments of the nation. You did not obey my epistle.โ€ As the road darkened, the beams of our headlights filled with hundreds of blinded moths. Where they hit the windshield, they left blurry marks, until it seemed like I was looking at the world through a curtain of tears.

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