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Chapter no 6

Ignite Me (Shatter Me Book 3)

โ€œI suppose you could call it that.โ€ Warner shrugs. โ€œWe call it a simulation chamber.โ€

โ€œYou made me torture that child,โ€ I say to him, the anger and the rage of that day rising up inside of me. How could I forget what he did? What he made me do? The horrible memories he forced me to relive all for the sake of his entertainment. โ€œI will never forgive you for that,โ€ I snap, acid in my voice. โ€œI will never forgive you for what you did to that little boy. For what you made me do to him!โ€

Warner frowns. โ€œIโ€™m sorryโ€”what?โ€

โ€œYou would sacrifice aย child!โ€ My voice is shaking now. โ€œFor your stupid games! How could you do something so despicable?โ€ I throw my pillow at him. โ€œYou sick, heartless,ย monster!โ€

Warner catches the pillow as it hits his chest, staring at me like heโ€™s never seen me before. But then a kind of understanding settles into place for him, and the pillow slips from his hands. Falls to the floor. โ€œOh,โ€ he says, so slowly. Heโ€™s squeezing his eyes shut, trying to suppress his amusement. โ€œOh, youโ€™re going to kill me,โ€ he says, laughing openly now. โ€œI donโ€™t think I can handle thisโ€”โ€

โ€œWhat are you talking about? Whatโ€™s wrong with you?โ€ I demand.

Heโ€™s still smiling as he says, โ€œTell me, love. Tell me exactly what happened that day.โ€

I clench my fists, offended by his flippancy and shaking with renewed anger. โ€œYou gave me stupid, skimpy clothes to wear! And then you took me down to the lower levels of Sector 45 and locked me in a dirty room. I remember it perfectly,โ€ I tell him, fighting to remain calm. โ€œIt had disgusting yellow walls. Old green carpet. A huge two-way mirror.โ€

Warner raises his eyebrows. Gestures for me to continue.

โ€œThen โ€ฆ you hit some kind of a switch,โ€ I say, forcing myself to keep talking. I donโ€™t know why Iโ€™m beginning to doubt myself. โ€œAnd these huge,

metal spikes started coming out of the ground. And thenโ€โ€”I hesitate, steeling myselfโ€”โ€œa toddler walked in. He was blindfolded. And you said he was your replacement. You said that if I didnโ€™t save him, you wouldnโ€™t either.โ€

Warner is looking at me closely now. Studying my eyes. โ€œAre you sure I said that?โ€

โ€œYes.โ€

โ€œYes?โ€ He cocks his head. โ€œYes, you saw me say that with your own eyes?โ€

โ€œN-no,โ€ I say quickly, feeling defensive, โ€œbut there were loudspeakersโ€” I could hear your voiceโ€”โ€

He takes a deep breath. โ€œRight; of course.โ€ โ€œIย did,โ€ I tell him.

โ€œSo after you heard me say that, what happened?โ€

I swallow hard. โ€œI had to save the boy. He was going to die. He couldnโ€™t see where he was going and he was going to be impaled by those spikes. I had to pull him into my arms and try to find a way to hold on to him without killing him.โ€

A beat of silence.

โ€œAnd did you succeed?โ€ Warner asks me.

โ€œYes,โ€ I whisper, unable to understand why heโ€™s asking me this when he saw it all happen for himself. โ€œBut the boy went limp,โ€ I say. โ€œHe was temporarily paralyzed in my arms. And then you hit another switch and the spikes disappeared, and I let him down and heโ€”he started crying again and bumped into my bare legs. And he started screaming. And I โ€ฆ I got so mad at you โ€ฆโ€

โ€œThat you broke through concrete,โ€ Warner says, a faint smile touching his lips. โ€œYou broke through a concrete wall just to try and choke me to death.โ€

โ€œYou deserved it,โ€ I hear myself say. โ€œYou deserved worse.โ€

โ€œWell,โ€ he sighs. โ€œIf I did, in fact, do what you say I did, it certainly sounds like I deserved it.โ€

โ€œWhat do you mean,ย ifย you did? Iย knowย you didโ€”โ€ โ€œIs that right?โ€

โ€œOf course itโ€™s right!โ€

โ€œThen tell me, love, what happened to the boy?โ€ โ€œWhat?โ€ I freeze; icicles creep up my arms.

โ€œWhat happened,โ€ he says, โ€œto that little boy? You say that you set him on the ground. But then you proceeded to break through a concrete wall fitted with a thick, six-foot-wide mirror, with no apparent regard for the toddler you claim was wandering around the room. Donโ€™t you think the poor child wouldโ€™ve been injured in such a wild, reckless display? My soldiers certainly were. You broke down a wall ofย concrete, love. You crushed an enormous piece of glass. You did not stop to ascertain where the blocks or the shattered bits had fallen or who they mightโ€™ve injured in the process.โ€ He stops. Stares. โ€œDid you?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ I gasp, blood draining from my body.

โ€œSo what happened after you walked away?โ€ he asks. โ€œOr do you not remember that part? You turned around and left, just after destroying the room, injuring my men, and tossing me to the floor. You turned around,โ€ he says, โ€œand walked right out.โ€

Iโ€™m numb now, remembering. Itโ€™s true. I did. I didnโ€™t think. I just knew I needed to get out of there as fast as possible. I needed to get away, to clear my head.

โ€œSo what happened to the boy?โ€ Warner insists. โ€œWhere was he when you were leaving? Did you see him?โ€ A lift of his eyebrows. โ€œAnd what about the spikes?โ€ he says. โ€œDid you bother to look closely at the ground to see where they mightโ€™ve come from? Or how they mightโ€™ve punctured a carpeted floor without causing any damage? Did you feel the surface under your feet to be shredded or uneven?โ€

Iโ€™m breathing hard now, struggling to stay calm. I canโ€™t tear myself away from his gaze.

โ€œJuliette, love,โ€ he says softly. โ€œThere were no speakers in that room. That room is entirely soundproof, equipped with nothing but sensors and cameras. It is a simulation chamber.โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ I breathe, refusing to believe. Not wanting to accept that I was wrong, that Warner isnโ€™t the monster I thought he was. He canโ€™t change things now. Canโ€™t confuse me like this. This isnโ€™t the way itโ€™s supposed to work. โ€œThatโ€™s not possibleโ€”โ€

โ€œI am guilty,โ€ he says, โ€œof forcing you to undergo such a cruel simulation. I accept the fault for that, and Iโ€™ve already apologized for my actions. I only meant to push you into finally reacting, and I knew that sort of re-creation would quickly trigger something inside of you. But good God, loveโ€โ€”he shakes his headโ€”โ€œyou must have an absurdly low opinion

of me if you think I would steal someoneโ€™s child just to watch you torture it.โ€

โ€œIt wasnโ€™t real?โ€ I donโ€™t recognize my own raspy, panicked voice. โ€œIt wasnโ€™tย real?โ€

He offers me a sympathetic smile. โ€œI designed the basic elements of the simulation, but the beauty of the program is that it will evolve and adapt as it processes a soldierโ€™s most visceral responses. We use it to train soldiers who must overcome specific fears or prepare for a particularly sensitive mission. We can re-create almost any environment,โ€ he says. โ€œEven soldiers who know what theyโ€™re getting into will forget that theyโ€™re performing in a simulation.โ€ He averts his eyes. โ€œI knew it would be terrifying for you, and I did it anyway. And for hurting you, I feel true regret. But no,โ€ he says quietly, meeting my eyes again. โ€œNone of it was real. You imagined my voice in that room. You imagined the pain, the sounds, the smells. All of it was in your mind.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t want to believe you,โ€ I say to him, my voice scarcely a whisper. He tries to smile. โ€œWhy do you think I gave you those clothes?โ€ he asks. โ€œThe material of that outfit was lined with a chemical designed to react to the sensors in that room. And the less youโ€™re wearing, the more easily the cameras can track the heat in your body, your movements.โ€ He shakes his head. โ€œI never had a chance to explain what youโ€™d experienced. I wanted to follow you immediately, but I thought I should give you time to collect yourself. It was a stupid decision, on my end.โ€ His jaw tenses. โ€œI waited, and I shouldnโ€™t have. Because when I found you, it was too late. You were

ready to jump out a window just to get away from me.โ€ โ€œFor good reason,โ€ I snap.

He holds up his hands in surrender.

โ€œYou are aย terribleย person!โ€ I explode, throwing the rest of the pillows at his face, angry and horrified and humiliated all at once. โ€œWhy would you put me through something like that when youย knowย what Iโ€™ve been through, you stupid, arrogantโ€”โ€

โ€œJuliette, please,โ€ he says, stepping forward, dodging a pillow to reach for my arms. โ€œIย amย sorry for hurting you, but I really think it was worthโ€”โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t touch me!โ€ I jerk away, glaring, clutching the foot of his bed like it might be a weapon. โ€œI should shoot you all over again for doing that to me! I shouldโ€”I shouldโ€”โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€ He laughs. โ€œYouโ€™re going to throw another pillow at me?โ€

I shove him, hard, and when he doesnโ€™t budge, I start throwing punches. Iโ€™m hitting his chest, his arms, his stomach, and his legs, anywhere I can reach, wishing more than ever that he werenโ€™t able to absorb my power, that I could actually crush all the bones in his body and make him writhe in pain beneath my hands. โ€œYou โ€ฆ selfish โ€ฆย monster!โ€ I keep throwing poorly aimed fists in his direction, not realizing how much the effort exhausts me, not realizing how quickly the anger dissolves into pain. Suddenly all I want to do is cry. My body is shaking in both relief and terror, finally unshackled from the fear that Iโ€™d caused another innocent child some kind of irreparable damage, and simultaneously horrified that Warner would ever force such a terrible thing on me. Toย helpย me.

โ€œIโ€™m so sorry,โ€ he says, stepping closer. โ€œI really, truly am. I didnโ€™t know you then. Not like I do now. Iโ€™d never do that to you now.โ€

โ€œYou donโ€™t know me,โ€ I mumble, wiping away tears. โ€œYou think you know me just because youโ€™ve read my journalโ€”you stupid, prying, privacy-stealingย assholeโ€”โ€

โ€œOh, rightโ€”about thatโ€”โ€ He smiles, one quick hand plucking the journal out of my pocket as he moves toward the door. โ€œIโ€™m afraid I wasnโ€™t finished reading this.โ€

โ€œHey!โ€ I protest, swiping at him as he walks away. โ€œYou said youโ€™d give that back to me!โ€

โ€œI said no such thing,โ€ he says, subdued, dropping the journal into his own pants pocket. โ€œNow please wait here a moment. Iโ€™m going to get you something to eat.โ€

Iโ€™m still shouting as he closes the door behind him.

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