โI suppose you could call it that.โ Warner shrugs. โWe call it a simulation chamber.โ
โYou made me torture that child,โ I say to him, the anger and the rage of that day rising up inside of me. How could I forget what he did? What he made me do? The horrible memories he forced me to relive all for the sake of his entertainment. โI will never forgive you for that,โ I snap, acid in my voice. โI will never forgive you for what you did to that little boy. For what you made me do to him!โ
Warner frowns. โIโm sorryโwhat?โ
โYou would sacrifice aย child!โ My voice is shaking now. โFor your stupid games! How could you do something so despicable?โ I throw my pillow at him. โYou sick, heartless,ย monster!โ
Warner catches the pillow as it hits his chest, staring at me like heโs never seen me before. But then a kind of understanding settles into place for him, and the pillow slips from his hands. Falls to the floor. โOh,โ he says, so slowly. Heโs squeezing his eyes shut, trying to suppress his amusement. โOh, youโre going to kill me,โ he says, laughing openly now. โI donโt think I can handle thisโโ
โWhat are you talking about? Whatโs wrong with you?โ I demand.
Heโs still smiling as he says, โTell me, love. Tell me exactly what happened that day.โ
I clench my fists, offended by his flippancy and shaking with renewed anger. โYou gave me stupid, skimpy clothes to wear! And then you took me down to the lower levels of Sector 45 and locked me in a dirty room. I remember it perfectly,โ I tell him, fighting to remain calm. โIt had disgusting yellow walls. Old green carpet. A huge two-way mirror.โ
Warner raises his eyebrows. Gestures for me to continue.
โThen โฆ you hit some kind of a switch,โ I say, forcing myself to keep talking. I donโt know why Iโm beginning to doubt myself. โAnd these huge,
metal spikes started coming out of the ground. And thenโโI hesitate, steeling myselfโโa toddler walked in. He was blindfolded. And you said he was your replacement. You said that if I didnโt save him, you wouldnโt either.โ
Warner is looking at me closely now. Studying my eyes. โAre you sure I said that?โ
โYes.โ
โYes?โ He cocks his head. โYes, you saw me say that with your own eyes?โ
โN-no,โ I say quickly, feeling defensive, โbut there were loudspeakersโ I could hear your voiceโโ
He takes a deep breath. โRight; of course.โ โIย did,โ I tell him.
โSo after you heard me say that, what happened?โ
I swallow hard. โI had to save the boy. He was going to die. He couldnโt see where he was going and he was going to be impaled by those spikes. I had to pull him into my arms and try to find a way to hold on to him without killing him.โ
A beat of silence.
โAnd did you succeed?โ Warner asks me.
โYes,โ I whisper, unable to understand why heโs asking me this when he saw it all happen for himself. โBut the boy went limp,โ I say. โHe was temporarily paralyzed in my arms. And then you hit another switch and the spikes disappeared, and I let him down and heโhe started crying again and bumped into my bare legs. And he started screaming. And I โฆ I got so mad at you โฆโ
โThat you broke through concrete,โ Warner says, a faint smile touching his lips. โYou broke through a concrete wall just to try and choke me to death.โ
โYou deserved it,โ I hear myself say. โYou deserved worse.โ
โWell,โ he sighs. โIf I did, in fact, do what you say I did, it certainly sounds like I deserved it.โ
โWhat do you mean,ย ifย you did? Iย knowย you didโโ โIs that right?โ
โOf course itโs right!โ
โThen tell me, love, what happened to the boy?โ โWhat?โ I freeze; icicles creep up my arms.
โWhat happened,โ he says, โto that little boy? You say that you set him on the ground. But then you proceeded to break through a concrete wall fitted with a thick, six-foot-wide mirror, with no apparent regard for the toddler you claim was wandering around the room. Donโt you think the poor child wouldโve been injured in such a wild, reckless display? My soldiers certainly were. You broke down a wall ofย concrete, love. You crushed an enormous piece of glass. You did not stop to ascertain where the blocks or the shattered bits had fallen or who they mightโve injured in the process.โ He stops. Stares. โDid you?โ
โNo,โ I gasp, blood draining from my body.
โSo what happened after you walked away?โ he asks. โOr do you not remember that part? You turned around and left, just after destroying the room, injuring my men, and tossing me to the floor. You turned around,โ he says, โand walked right out.โ
Iโm numb now, remembering. Itโs true. I did. I didnโt think. I just knew I needed to get out of there as fast as possible. I needed to get away, to clear my head.
โSo what happened to the boy?โ Warner insists. โWhere was he when you were leaving? Did you see him?โ A lift of his eyebrows. โAnd what about the spikes?โ he says. โDid you bother to look closely at the ground to see where they mightโve come from? Or how they mightโve punctured a carpeted floor without causing any damage? Did you feel the surface under your feet to be shredded or uneven?โ
Iโm breathing hard now, struggling to stay calm. I canโt tear myself away from his gaze.
โJuliette, love,โ he says softly. โThere were no speakers in that room. That room is entirely soundproof, equipped with nothing but sensors and cameras. It is a simulation chamber.โ
โNo,โ I breathe, refusing to believe. Not wanting to accept that I was wrong, that Warner isnโt the monster I thought he was. He canโt change things now. Canโt confuse me like this. This isnโt the way itโs supposed to work. โThatโs not possibleโโ
โI am guilty,โ he says, โof forcing you to undergo such a cruel simulation. I accept the fault for that, and Iโve already apologized for my actions. I only meant to push you into finally reacting, and I knew that sort of re-creation would quickly trigger something inside of you. But good God, loveโโhe shakes his headโโyou must have an absurdly low opinion
of me if you think I would steal someoneโs child just to watch you torture it.โ
โIt wasnโt real?โ I donโt recognize my own raspy, panicked voice. โIt wasnโtย real?โ
He offers me a sympathetic smile. โI designed the basic elements of the simulation, but the beauty of the program is that it will evolve and adapt as it processes a soldierโs most visceral responses. We use it to train soldiers who must overcome specific fears or prepare for a particularly sensitive mission. We can re-create almost any environment,โ he says. โEven soldiers who know what theyโre getting into will forget that theyโre performing in a simulation.โ He averts his eyes. โI knew it would be terrifying for you, and I did it anyway. And for hurting you, I feel true regret. But no,โ he says quietly, meeting my eyes again. โNone of it was real. You imagined my voice in that room. You imagined the pain, the sounds, the smells. All of it was in your mind.โ
โI donโt want to believe you,โ I say to him, my voice scarcely a whisper. He tries to smile. โWhy do you think I gave you those clothes?โ he asks. โThe material of that outfit was lined with a chemical designed to react to the sensors in that room. And the less youโre wearing, the more easily the cameras can track the heat in your body, your movements.โ He shakes his head. โI never had a chance to explain what youโd experienced. I wanted to follow you immediately, but I thought I should give you time to collect yourself. It was a stupid decision, on my end.โ His jaw tenses. โI waited, and I shouldnโt have. Because when I found you, it was too late. You were
ready to jump out a window just to get away from me.โ โFor good reason,โ I snap.
He holds up his hands in surrender.
โYou are aย terribleย person!โ I explode, throwing the rest of the pillows at his face, angry and horrified and humiliated all at once. โWhy would you put me through something like that when youย knowย what Iโve been through, you stupid, arrogantโโ
โJuliette, please,โ he says, stepping forward, dodging a pillow to reach for my arms. โIย amย sorry for hurting you, but I really think it was worthโโ
โDonโt touch me!โ I jerk away, glaring, clutching the foot of his bed like it might be a weapon. โI should shoot you all over again for doing that to me! I shouldโI shouldโโ
โWhat?โ He laughs. โYouโre going to throw another pillow at me?โ
I shove him, hard, and when he doesnโt budge, I start throwing punches. Iโm hitting his chest, his arms, his stomach, and his legs, anywhere I can reach, wishing more than ever that he werenโt able to absorb my power, that I could actually crush all the bones in his body and make him writhe in pain beneath my hands. โYou โฆ selfish โฆย monster!โ I keep throwing poorly aimed fists in his direction, not realizing how much the effort exhausts me, not realizing how quickly the anger dissolves into pain. Suddenly all I want to do is cry. My body is shaking in both relief and terror, finally unshackled from the fear that Iโd caused another innocent child some kind of irreparable damage, and simultaneously horrified that Warner would ever force such a terrible thing on me. Toย helpย me.
โIโm so sorry,โ he says, stepping closer. โI really, truly am. I didnโt know you then. Not like I do now. Iโd never do that to you now.โ
โYou donโt know me,โ I mumble, wiping away tears. โYou think you know me just because youโve read my journalโyou stupid, prying, privacy-stealingย assholeโโ
โOh, rightโabout thatโโ He smiles, one quick hand plucking the journal out of my pocket as he moves toward the door. โIโm afraid I wasnโt finished reading this.โ
โHey!โ I protest, swiping at him as he walks away. โYou said youโd give that back to me!โ
โI said no such thing,โ he says, subdued, dropping the journal into his own pants pocket. โNow please wait here a moment. Iโm going to get you something to eat.โ
Iโm still shouting as he closes the door behind him.