Chapter no 51

If He Had Been with Me

โ€œThe rose bush you gave me for Christmas is still blooming,โ€ Sasha says. She sits down on the steps next to me and lays her book bag between her knees.

โ€œThey do that,โ€ I say. Itโ€™s the first week of October. I have a new charm on Jamieโ€™s bracelet and an ant farm on my desk. The weather is cooling off but still warm, and a few trees have started to turn. The novelty of being seniors has worn off a bit. Itโ€™s a matter of course now that weโ€™re the oldest and the coolest. All the other students are so young and awkward; how could we not be?

โ€œWe should have a party for Halloween this year,โ€ Brooke says. โ€œI mean like actually invite people besides us. My sister could get us some more to drinkโ€”โ€

โ€œCould we wear costumes?โ€ Alex says.

โ€œNo,โ€ Sasha and I say. Somewhere in the back of my head, I think of how a few years ago I couldnโ€™t imagine Halloween without a costume.

โ€œWhy not?โ€ Brooke asks.

โ€œIโ€™m not wearing a costume,โ€ Jamie says.

โ€œIโ€™m not,โ€ I say. โ€œBut my parents are going to some marriage camp therapy retreat thing that weekend soโ€”โ€

โ€œIโ€™m pregnant,โ€ Angie says. All of our heads swivel together. Sheโ€™s standing at the top of the steps, just arrived. She wears her book bag on both shoulders, like a child. The pink streaks in her hair have faded and grown out. She stares back at us as if we had just asked her a question.

โ€œAlready?โ€ Sasha says.

โ€œI took a test yesterday.โ€

The bell rings and we stand. We walk in a group toward the doors, but the boys trail behind us. The girls ask questions: what are her symptoms, how is Dave handling it.

โ€œIโ€™m tired and my boobs hurt,โ€ she says. โ€œBut thatโ€™s all besides being late.โ€ She says Dave seemed pretty freaked out, but he also seemed excited. โ€œItโ€™s almost like heโ€™s kinda proud of himself,โ€ she says in the same strange monotone. She laughs then, and it sounds strangely happy.

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