How to Work a Party Like a Politician Works a Room The Politicians Six-Point Party Checklist
When invited to a party, most of us waft into a fluffy thought prcess. Our random reverie goes something like this: Hmm, this could be fun. . . . Wonder if theyre going to serve food. . . . Hope its good. . . . Might be some interesting people there. . . . Wo der if my friend so n so is coming. Golly, what should I wear?
Thats not the way a politician thinks about a party, however. While politicians, heavy-duty networkers, serious socializers, and big winners in the business world are staring at the invitation, they instinctively surf to a different channel. Before they RSVP with yes or no, their brains craft journalistic campaign questions. Its the Six- Point Party Checklist. Who? When? What? Why? Where? And How?
Lets take them one by one. 265
Who Is Going to Be at the Party?
More specifically, who will be there that I should meet? Serious networkers calculate Who must I meet for business? Who should I meet for political or social reasons? And, if single and searcing, Who do I want to meet for possible love?
If they dont know who is going to be in attendance, they ask. Politicians unabashedly telephone the host or hostess of the party and ask, Whos coming? As the party giver chats casually about the guest list, politicians scribble the names of the people who interest them, then resolve to meet each.
When Should I Arrive?
Politicians do not leave arrival time to whenever they finish geting dressed. They dont ask themselves, Hmm, should I be fasionably late? They carefully calculate their estimated time of arrival and estimated time of departure.
If the party is bulging with contacts, biggies get there early to start hitting their marks as each arrives. VIPs frequently come early to get their business done before party regulars who hate to be the first one there start arriving. They are never embarrassed to arrive early. After all, the only people who see them are other early arrivals who are often heavy hitters like themselves.
Nor will you find politicians prowling around, the last to slink out the door. Once theyve accomplished what they set out to do, theyre on their way to the next opportunity. If their agenda is more social, they try to leave their departure time open and their aprŽs- party schedule free. That way, if they make an important new contact, they can stay around and talk with him. Or drive her home. Or go somewhere else for coffee.
How to Work a Party Like a Politician Works a Room 267 What Should I Take with Me?
A politicians checklist is not the usual, Lets see, my comb, cologne, and breath mints. They pack more functional networing tools in their pockets or purses.
If corporate cats will be prowling the party, they pack a pocetful of business cards. If its a gala where people are gadding about on the social ladder and they want to exude old-world elegance, they grab a handful of social cards containing only their name and possibly an address and phone number. (Some feel giving out a business card in a purely social setting can be gauche.) The most vital tool in their party pack is a small pad and pen to keep track of important contacts.
Why Is the Party Being Given?
The politicians perpetual philosophy of penetrate the ostensible enters here. (Thats just a fancy way of saying look under the rug.) They ask themselves, What is the ostensible reason for the party? A big industrialist is giving his daughter a graduation party? A newly divorced executive is throwing himself a birthday bash? A floundering business is celebrating its tenth year?
Nice, politicians say to themselves, thats the ostensible. But whats the real reason for the party? Maybe the industrialist wants to get his daughter a good job so hes invited dozens of potential employers. The birthday boy is single again so the guest list is heavy with attractive and accomplished females. The business deperately needs good PR if its going to stay around another ten years. So theyve invited the press and community makers and shakers.
Politicians have expert under-rug vision to spot the hosts real agenda. They will, of course, never discuss it at the party. However, the insight elevates them to a shared state of higher cosciousness with other heavy hitters at the bash.
Their knowledge also makes them valuable agents for the party giver. A savvy politician introduces the job-seeking daugter to some executives at the party or tells the most alluring women at the bash what a great guy birthday boy is. When chatting with reporters, he talks up the hosts business that needs good PR. When people support the real why of the party, they become popular and sought- after guests for future events.
Where Is the Collective Mind?
Often people from one profession or one interest group will coprise most of the guest list. A politician never accepts any invittion without asking herself, What kind of people will be at this party, and what will they be thinking about? Perhaps there will be a drove of doctors. So she clicks on the latest medical headlines and rehearses a little doc-talk. If the guests are a nest of new-age voters, the politician gets up to speed on telepathic healing, Tantric toning, and trance dancing. Politicians cant afford to not be in the know.
How Am I Going to Follow Up on the Party?
Now, the big finale. I call it Contact Cement. Its cementing the contacts the politician has made. After meeting a good contact and exchanging cards, practically everyone says, Its been great talking to you. Well stay in touch.
This good intention seldom happens without herculean effort. Politicians, however, make a science out of keeping up the cotact. After the party, they sit at their desks and, like a game of soltaire, lay out the business cards of the people theyve met. Using
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The Business Card Dossier technique described later in this setion, they decide how, when, and if to deal with each. Does this person require a phone call? Should that one receive a handwriten note? Shall I E-mail or call the other one?
Use the Six-Point Party Checklistthe Who? When? Why? Where? What? and How? of a partyas your general game plan. Now lets get down to specifics.
How to Avoid the Most Common Party Blooper
The average party goer, lets say Charlie, arrives at the bash. He makes a beeline for the refreshment table for munchies and a beerage. He then finds a few buddies and starts chatting away with them.
Chewing the nibbles on his plate and the fat with his friends, he occasionally looks around the room to see who might be new and
fun to talk to. Hes hoping several attractive and interesting people at the party will spot him and come over to talk.
Whats wrong with Charlies approach? Everything, if Chalie wants to make the party productive. Lets start with the aveage party goers first mistakegetting some refreshments and a drink right off the bat.
People mingling at a party make judgments, often subcoscious, about whom they are going to approach. Have you ever lived on a farm? Or had a dog or a cat? Then you know you never disturb animals when they are eating. Likewise, when a human animal is eating, other human animals do not feel comfortable advancing. If party goers eyes scan the crowd and see you with the feed bag on, they pass right over you. Subconsciously theyre saying to themselves, Let the hungry hound chow down and
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maybe well talk later. Later never comes because they wind up making friends with someone else whose mouth wasnt full.
Politicians always eat before they come to the party. They know theyd need a circus jugglers talent to shake hands, exchange business cards, hold a drink, and stuff crackers and cheese into their mouthsall with just two hands.
Technique #71 Munching or Mingling
Politicians want to be eyeball to eyeball and belly to belly with their constituents. Like any big winner well versed in the science of proxemics and spatial relationships, they know any object except their belt buckle has the effect of a brick wall between two people. Therefore they never hold food or drink at a party.
Come to munch or come to mingle. But do not expect to do both. Like a good politician, chow down before you come.
How to Make an Unforgettable Entrance
Loretta Young makes television history when she appears at the head of her immense staircase and surveys the set. Then she swoops down to start the show.
The Pope steps out onto his balcony overlooking St. Peters Square in Rome and surveys the crowd. Then he begins the benediction.
Bette Davis stops in the doorway and looks around. Then she mutters, What a dump!
And every late-night TV comic since Heeeeres Johnny! steps center stage and scrutinizes the applauding audience. Then he reveals the reason for the smirk on his face.
What do all these great entrances have in common? Each pauses momentarily and looks around before swooping into decsive action. Movie directors love shots of THE DOORWAY where the camera pans, the music swells, and all eyes gravitate to the hocho or honchoette standing under the frame. Does the star skulk into the room like a frightened little kitten in a new owners home? Or, like many of us do at a party, frantically gravitate to the first familiar
face so people wont think he or shes unconnected? No, 272
How to Make an Unforgettable Entrance 273
the star stops. Then, framed by the doorway, his or her notable presence is felt by all.
People who have mastered this trick have what envious thatrical wanna-bes call stage presence. Stage groupies think some lucky stars are born with it. Think again, thespians. Its cultivated. Politicians dont just slink unnoticed into a roomful of people.
Politicians make The Entrance.
With one simple technique, you too can make great entrances. I call it Rubberneck the Room. Before entering, stop dramatically in the doorway and survey the scene s-l-o-w-l-y with your eyes. It is significant that, while youre standing in the doorway, youre not thinking, Look at me. The reason youre Rubbernecking the Room is not to show off. It is so you can diagnose the situation youre walking into. Take note of the lighting, the bar, and most important, the faces. Listen to the music, the buzz of the crowd, the clinking of glasses. See who is talking to whom. While rubbenecking, youll also be using Be the Chooser, Not the Choosee, the next technique, which helps you select your first, second, and maybe third target. Now, like the big cat who rules the jungle, leap in to make your first move toward wiping up the room.
In tandem with Rubberneck the Room, try using the folloing technique.
Technique #72 Rubberneck the Room
When you arrive at the gathering, stop dramatically in the doorway. Then s-l-o-w-l-y survey the situation. Let your eyes travel
back and forth like a SWAT team ready in a heartbeat to wipe out anything that moves.
How to Meet the People YOU Want to Meet
Politicians dont wait for others to approach them. If the party host or their campaign manager has not supplied a must meet list, they choose their targets while Rubbernecking the Room. As their keen eyes scan the crowd, theyre asking themselves Who would I most enjoy talking to? Who looks like they could be most beeficial to my life? Who could I learn most from in this gang?
How do they choose? They look at everyone the same way my friend, Bob, the caricature artist, looks at people. You can tell a whole lot more than you realize if you keep your gaze fixed on someone. Every twinkle in someones eye and every line surounding it tells a storythe story of the life he or she leads. Who was it who said, At age thirty, everyone has the face he deserves? Yet few of us consciously look into strangers eyes. How foolish that, at a party or convention for making contacts, most people are embarrassed to make eye contact with people we dont know.
In my networking seminar, I prime participants to make intense visual contact by asking them to form a big circle, walk around the room, and silently stare at each other. Gaze into each others eyes, I tell them. Examine each others movements.
As they are walking, I say, The most important business cotact, the dearest friend, or the love of your life is probably not in
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this room. Nevertheless, sometime soon, you will be in a room where you will spot someone you sense could change your life. I want you to be prepared. I want you to have the courage to make the approach and not wait in vain for that special someone to approach you. While strolling and staring, I ask them to silently choose the four people they most want to talk to during the break.
Only the Beautiful People Will Be Chosen
When given this unfamiliar and uncomfortable assignment, the participants assume everyone will make a beeline for the most attractive people. It never happens. Something mystical occurs when people take the time to really look at each other. Everyone discovers a distinctive beauty in one or two other people that is very personal, very special, and speaks uniquely to the seeker.
The dearest friend in my life was a homely little fellow named Chip. He was only 5 feet 2 inches tall. Chip had a huge nose and funny little eyes peeping out through thick glasses. At a party, without using this technique, I probably would never have noticed Chip. However, my concentration was on him the day we met because he was giving a speech. When I gazed intently into his eyes and watched his lips moving, I saw such subjective beauty coming from his face. He became my best friend for twelve years until a tragic disease took his life. Nevertheless, Chip remained beautiful to me until the end because, no matter how twisted his body became with illness, the beauty shone through his spirit.
As the seminar participants explore each others faces and movements, they discover the subjective beauty in their faces, in their spirits. No one can explain why one person chooses another as one of his or her special four. Yet practically everyone returns from the break having made a new good friend. Never is anyone left unchosen.
When you seek peoples special qualities by exploring their faces, you will find them. If you want to walk out of any gatheing with your life enhanced, spend time with people you choose, not just those who choose you. Be choosey in who you pick. But dont wait to be the choosee.
Sure, in a Seminar, Its Easy, but What About Real Life?
Sometimes, after the break, a participant will say, It was simple to go up to people I wanted to talk to this time because you gave it as an assignment. But what about at a real party? Recently, one of my participants named Todd asked me this question in front of the group.
I asked, Todd, how did you make the approach this time?
Well, I just went up and said, Hi, Im Todd. I wanted to talk to you.
Well? I asked.
Technique #73
Be the Chooser, Not the Choosee
The lifelong friend, the love of your life, or the business contact who will transform your future may not be at the party. However, someday, somewhere, he or she will be. Make every party a rehearsal for the big event.
Do not stand around waiting for the moment when that special person approaches you. You make it happen by exploring every face
in the room. No more ships passing in the night. Capture whatever or whomever you want in your life.
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It dawned on him that he could use this opening phrase to meet anyone at any party. To smooth a potentially awkward moment, you quickly follow up with an innocuous question like How do you know the hostess? or Do you live in the area? Now, youre off and running just as though the host had intrduced you.
Of course, other choosey people will be prowling around the party. Some of them, after scrutinizing you, will decide you are one of the special people they choose to talk to. The following is a subliminal maneuver to make it easy for them come over to cofirm they made a wise choice.
How to Subliminally Lure People to You at a Gathering
Have you ever noticed how comfortable you feel sauntering into certain rooms? The chairs are arranged in a way that welcomes you as if saying, Come right on in and sit on me. Conversely, you enter other rooms where you must navigate a circuitous route around tables and dressers before you finally find a free chair.
Likewise, some people arrange their body furniture, their arms and legs, to say, Hey, come right on over and talk to me. Yet other peoples body furniture shouts, Keep out! Approach at your own risk. Shy people inadvertently say stay away when they fold their arms. They give off insecure signals by clutching a purse, clasping a drink, or smoking a cigarette.
Controlled studies show that party goers are more comforable approaching people who stand with an open body, arms uncrossed and hanging at their sides, legs slightly separated, a slight smile on their faces. Any object between you and the crowd is a subliminal cutoffeven your purse. More people approach a woman who sports a shoulder bag than one squeezing a handbag. The shoulder bag hangs behind her back, thus leaving the path to talk to her open.
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How to Subliminally Lure People to You at a Gathering 279 Give Them the Ol Wrist Flash
Now, heres the pi❹ce de rŽsistance. Next to your face, your wrists and palms are one of the most expressive parts of your body. Palms up speak volumes of good sentiments.
The Popes wrists and palms are up when he beckons Come unto me my brethren. The burglars wrists and palms are up when he
says, I give up, dont shoot. The innocent mans wrists and palms are up when hes saying, I dont know who took the money. Vulnerable, open palms signify I have nothing to hide.
They also signify acceptance. When you are listening to a business colleague to whom you want to signal acceptance, make sure your wrists and palms are up. Even if youre resting your head on your chin, turn your wrists forward. Whenever you are chating with anyone, give yourself a constant hand check. Make sure you dont point your knuckles directly toward anyone. Let them have the pleasure of seeing the soft, tender come hither skin of your wrists and palms, not the wrinkled go away hide on your knuckles.
Romance on your mind? Ladies, let your hands do some taling for you. Women instinctively turn their wrists and palms upward when a man excites them. (In fact, the ol wrist flash while talking with males subconsciously gives them a s*xy jolt.)
Pave a Clear Path for People Who Find You Special
Frightened little jungle cats crouch behind rocks and logs so no bigger animals will spot them. In the social jungle, shy people do the same. They instinctively seek out corners and sit in seats where they wont be seen.
Technique #74 Come-Hither Hands
Be a human magnet, not a human repellent. When standing at a gathering, arrange your body in an open positionespecially your arms and hands. People instinctively gravitate toward open palms and wrists seductively arranged in the come hither position. They shy away from knuckles in the get lost or Ill punch you position. Use your wrists and palms to say I have nothing to hide, I accept you and what youre saying, or I find you s*xy.
Whereas lynxes and lions stroll confidently to the center of the jungle clearing, human big cats in the social jungle also stand confidently in a clearing so others can see them. Like a politician, position yourself near a doorway since everyone must pass your way at some point in the evening.
Now we come to a technique all politicians use. In fact, some political pundits have credited the election of both John Kennedy and Bill Clinton to their mastery of the technique I call Tracking.
How to Make Em Feel Like a Movie Star
In the 1940s, movies were different. Before experimental films, ciema veritŽ, and nouvelle vague, they had stories. Americans
hopped in their Buicksa foxtail tied to the radio antenna and baby boots suspended from the rearview mirrordrove to the movie house, and watched a story unfold before them.
Almost invariably, the hero and heroine on the silver screen would meet, fall in love, overcome seemingly impossible obstacles, get married, and (presumably) live happily after. Oh, the stories varied slightly. But there was always a leading man and maybe a leading woman. Then there was the rest of the world. The suporting characters could live or die without much brouhaha. But every minor event in the stars life was significant.
Well, movies may have changed. Human nature hasnt. Everone feels like the star of a 1940s movie. Every trivial event in their lives is momentous. Theres ME. Then theres the rest of the world.
What someone had for breakfast, what shoes he chose to wear, and whether he took time to floss his teeth can be more impotant to that particular someone than the fall of faraway nations or the rise of global temperatures.
Husbands and wives sometimes share their spouses minutiae: 281
What did you have for breakfast, Honey? You didnt wear those shoes, did you? Did you remember to floss? To create an interesting intimacy, big winners make a point to
remember minute details of important contacts lives. They obvously dont feign interest in what they had for breakfast or whether they flossed or forgot. But to make someone feel like a big star, they remember details their contact does happen to share.
Take their lead. If a prospect mentions he had Rice Krispies for breakfast, allude to it later. If, in chatting, your boss tells you she wore uncomfortable shoes to work one day, find a way to refer to it on another. If your client mentions hes a resolute flosser, co pliment him at a later date on his discipline. It hints he or she is a memorable star in the galaxy of people youve met. Its called Tracking their lives. When you track their minutiae, you make them feel like 1940s movie stars and that minor events in their lives are major concerns in yours.
Dont Leave It to Chance
Politicians make a science out of Tracking. They keep a little black box either on their desk, in their computer, or in their brain of the last concern, enthusiasm, or event discussed with everyone in their life. They keep track of where the people were, what they said,
and what they were doing since the last conversation. Then the first words of the next phone call or meeting with that person relates to that information:
Hello, Joe. How was your trip to Jamaica? Hey Sam, did your kid make the baseball team? Hi, Sally. Have you heard back from your client yet? Nice to hear from you, Bob. It means you survived that
Szechuan restaurant you were going to last time we spoke. How to Make Em Feel Like a Movie Star 283
When you invoke the last major or minor event in anyones life, it confirms what theyve known all along. Theyre the most important person in the world.
One of the most powerful forms of tracking is remembering anniversaries of peoples personal achievements. Did your boss get promoted to her present position one year ago today? Did your client go public? How much more memorable than a birthday card to send a one-year congratulations note.
Remembering peoples private passions is another. Several years ago, I wrote regularly for a magazine. My then-editor, Carie, was obsessed with her new kitten named Cookie. Recently I ran into Carrie at a writers conference. In early conversation I said to her, I guess Cookies a full-grown cat by now. How is she?
Carries astonished smile was my reward.
Leil, she squealed, I cant believe you remember Cookie. Yes, shes fine now and . . . Carrie went on for another ten miutes about Cookie, the now full-grown cat.
Technique #75 Tracking
Like an air-traffic controller, track the tiniest details of your conversation partners lives. Refer to them in your conversation like a major news story. It creates a poweful sense of intimacy.
When you invoke the last major or minor event in anyones life, it confirms the deep conviction that he or she is an old-style hero around whom the world revolves. And people love you for recognizing their stardom.
A week later I got a call from Carrie asking me if Id do a big story for her magazine. Did she think of me because I used the Tracking technique and remembered Cookie? Nobody can say, but I have my suspicions. Ive seen the Tracking technique work on too many people to assume the rewards are coincidental.
How do politicians remember so many facts to track about so many people? They use the following technique.
How to Amaze Them with What You Remember About Them Several years ago, I attended a political fund-raising event in a
Midwestern state. One guest intrigued me. Sometimes Id see him in animated conversation with several people. Other times, hed be standing alone scribbling something on a card in his hand. Then the next time Id look up, hed be chatting it up with somone else. The next minute, hed be scribbling in his hand again. He repeated this pattern for over an hour. I became as curious as a nosy neighbor. Who was this fellow?
At one point during the evening, I was standing alone by the refreshment table. He came up to me with a big smile, a warm handshake, and introduced himself. Hi, Im Joe Smith. He asked me what I was drinking. I told him white wine and we started dicussing preferences. I happened to mention my favorite white was Sancerre. While we talked, I had to bite my tongue to resist asing him what hed been up to with the feverish note taking.
A few minutes later, I spotted a friend across the room and excused myself. He asked for my card and, as I walked away, I peeked over my shoulder. I knew it! There he was, scribbling on my card. That was my opening. I turned back and, trying to pass my inquiry off as a joke, said, Hey, I didnt give you my meaurements. Whats that youre writing?
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He gave a hearty laugh at my tasteless joke and said, You caught me! He turned over my card and I saw one word written on it: Sancerre. Then, to assuage my paranoia, he emptied his pocketful of peoples business cards to show me scribbles on the back of each. I assumed it was just Joes little system to help him remember people. It wasnt until months later that I saw the method to his madness.
One morning I went to my mailbox and found a personal postcard from Joe. He told me he was running for state senator. Then at the bottom of the card, hed written, Had any good Sancerre lately? That won my heart. Had I lived in his state, a litle touch like that might have swayed my vote to him.
They may not jump up and down asking, How did you remember that? Nevertheless, they will remember you. No matter how important the VIP, he or she senses a special kinship
Technique #76
The Business Card Dossier
Right after youve talked to someone at a party, take out your pen. On the back of his or her business card write notes to remind you of the conversation: his favorite restaurant, sport, movie, or drink; whom she admires, where she grew up, a high school honor; or maybe a joke he told.
In your next communication, toss off a reference to the favorite restaurant, sport, movie, drink, hometown, high school honor. Or reprieve the laugh over the great joke.
How to Amaze Them with What You Remember About Them 287
with the person who refers to other than their usual well-known accomplishments.
Politicians are constantly selling themselves. (If youve ever wondered why America is called The Land of Promise, just keep your ears open in election year.) But, of course, to know what to promise people, politicians use the next super sales technique called Eyeball Selling.
How to Make the Sale with Your Eyeballs
The percentage of sales that Jimmi, a good friend of mine, makes is not to be believed. Even his sales manager doesnt know how he does it. But I do. Because he told me.
Jimmi says the fancy sales techniques hes learned over the years (Benefits Selling, Partnering, Selling to Personality Types, Value- Added Concept, Rejection Proofing, Spin Selling) all pale next to what he calls Eyeball Selling.
Eyeball Selling is not memorizing two dozen closing tecniques. Nor is it verbally sparring with a customer to overcome objections. Jimmi says its quite simply keeping his eyes open, watching his customers reactions, and adjusting his sales pitch according to how his customers body moves.
While Jimmi is giving his sales pitch, hes concentrating more on how his customer fidgets, twitches, and squirms than on what hes saying. Hes scrutinizing his customers involuntary head movments. Hes studying her hand gestures, her body rotation, her facial expressionseven her eye fluctuations. Jimmi says when his cutomer is not saying a word, even if shes trying to give you a poker face, she cannot not communicate. She may not say in words how receptive she is to your pitch, but shes clearly telling you nonethless. Jimmi says knowing what turns a prospect on, what
turns her off, and what leaves her neutral from moment to moment can make or break the sale.
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How to Make the Sale with Your Eyeballs 289 How Jimmi Finds Out Where the Buck Stops
The product Jimmi sells is expensive lighting equipment. Often he must make sales presentations to groups of ten, twenty, or more people. He says, The first challenge in Eyeball Selling is discoering who the real decision maker is.
Jimmi meets his challenge in an unorthodox (not necessarily recommended) way. Right after Good afternoon, gentlemen and ladies, he says something slightly confusing. Why? Because the surprised group doesnt know how to react. So their heads all twirl like weather vanes on a windy day to look atguess who?the honcho, the heavyweight, the head man or woman. Now Jimmis got his decision maker so he can continue Eyeball Selling to that person.
What to Do When You Get Your Cue
Some signals are obvious, Jimmi says. People shrug their shouders for indifference, tap their fingers for impatience, or loosen their collar when they feel uncomfortable. But there are hundreds of other unconscious gestures I keep my antennae tuned for.
For example, I watch the exact angle of my prospects head position. If its fully facing me, especially if its cocked at a cute little angle, it means theyre interested. In that case, I keep right on talking. But if their head is slightly turning away, thats a bad sign. I take it as a cue to change the subject and maybe talk about a different benefit of my product.
Jimmi not only tailors what hes saying to his customers reations, but he actively takes steps to change his prospects body postion if he feels its not receptive. He says, The body must be open before the mind can follow. For example, he continues, If your customer has his arms crossed in front of his chest, hand him somthing to look at so he has to unfold them to take it from you. Jimmi
always carries a briefcase full of props to break down the barriers. He has photos of his wife and kids to hand married prospects, snashots of his Skye terrier for customers that have a dog, an antique watch to show antique lovers, and a pocket-size computer to show gadget fanatics. Jimmi says, As long as I can get them to open their arms to reach for something, I have a shot at their minds.
Jimmi also paces the timing of his pitch to match his cutomers covert reactions. When his client reaches for an object, he takes it as a cue to talk slower or just be quiet. Reaching for a paper clip or fondling a folder on the desk says, Im thinking about it.
Of course, Jimmi is on constant lookout for sales-ready sinals like picking up the contract, fondling the pen, or turning their palms up. At that point, he cuts quickly to the close.
Another cue to bring out the contract-signing pen is when your prospects head starts bobbing up and down like a plastic duck. Theyre silently screaming, Yes, Ill buy! Unskilled salepeople just keep on talking until they finish the pitch they learned in training. Many keep talking so long, they unsell themselves. Conversely, when customers move their heads back and forth, no matter what they are saying, they mean No!
Eyeballing Is Not for Selling Only
Without a word, your friends and loved ones also show their wishes. When my friend Deborah became engaged to Tony, it seemed obvious to everyoneexcept Deborahthat it was not a marriage made in heaven. A few months before their wedding I said, Deb, are you really sure Tonys the one for you?
Oh yes, she said, her head moving right and left, back and forth, I love him very much. That marriage never took place. Her body recognized what her mind hadnt yet realized.
Like a politician, think of your social conversations as sales pitches. Even if you have no product, you want them to buy your ideas. If your listener turns away while youre talking, dont conHow to Make the Sale with Your Eyeballs 291
centrate on how rude the person is. Like a sales pro, ask yourself, How can I change the subject to turn this person on? If their whole body starts to turn away, use the time-honored personal question ploy. Ask about their favorite topic. George, how big did you say that bass you caught last week was? Or use his name and ask a personal question. Thats always a grabber. Archibald, what did you say the name of your high school football team was?
Weve talked about only a few responses. Hints for reading someones body language could fill a book. In fact, they have many of them. I suggest a few of my favorites in the references. 2126 Read up on body language and tune in to its visual channel wheever youre trying to sell to people, get their vote, or convince them youre the best candidate for the job or the role of life partner.
Wouldnt it be super to have Jimmis success rate with our listeners accepting whatever we say? We can if we just keep our eyes open.
A Quick Review
Thats all there is to it. Youll remember to eat before coming to the party (the Munching or Mingling technique) to leave your
Technique #77 Eyeball Selling
The human body is a twenty-four-hour broadcasting station that transmits You thrill me. You bore me. I love that aspect of your product. That one puts my feet to sleep.
Set the hidden cameras behind your eyeballs to pick up on all your customers and friends signals. Then plan your pitch and your pace accordingly.
hands free for heavy networking. When you arrive, youll stop in the doorway and Rubberneck the Room to get the lay of the land. While rubbernecking, youll Be the Chooser, Not the Choosee and pick your prospects for the evening. When standing around, you will be relaxing and inviting with Come-Hither Hands.
You havent forgotten, of course, to use the meeting-people techniques from previous chapters. If you spot someone you want to talk to, check them out for a Whatzit you can comment on. Finding none, just ask the party giver, Whoozat? If the host or hostess is not in sight, simply stand near your target and resort to the Eavesdrop In technique.
While chatting with anyone youve previously met, you will, of course, use Tracking to win their vote or heart and all the tecniques in Part Two to ensure the conversation is interesting for your new acquaintance. Finally, youll employ Eyeball Selling to make sure youre on target with every conversation. And dont foget, as you say so long, to scribble material for your next contact on your Business Card Dossier.
Its a good feeling when youve done it all right. Continue using these techniques politicians use to work a room, and youll suffer no more unimportant parties. And, following the advice throughout the book, youll never strike anyone as an unimpotant person.
Now we move on to the advanced section of How to Talk to Anyone. Some of the following techniques may make you scratch your head in confusion. Pay special attention to the ones that do because it means somewhere, sometime, you might find yourself
scratching your head over something much more painfullike the bump from hitting a glass ceiling, or why the business deal, frienship, or love affair went sour. You might never know, unless you read it here, that it was your own communications fumble.
