It was a good win. The team skated out of the rink with beaming smiles on all their faces. I felt like I’ve never played harder than that game. My heart thumped like a damn drum.
But at this very moment, I sat outside the hospital bench. I couldn’t go
in to see Adrianna. I knew that by the looks that the guards had sent me guarding the waiting room.
But I sat there, nevertheless. The worst part of my damn day was getting into an unnecessary fight with Liam.
My phone rings as I answer it with a bit of hesitation of saying something right ahead.
“Hello?” The voice was scarce. I thinned my lips together gathering the flowers I had bought and walked towards my car.
“Do I know you?” “Grayson, it’s your mother.”
I let my deep breath out, rolling my eyes. “Do you need anything mother?”
“I need to see you.” She muttered quickly, I wanted to ignore her requests. But she was still my mother, I cared for her.
“New Crest.” I said plainly, hanging up the phone immediately.
 |
I walked out of the car as she was perched up against the willow tree that I would lay against whenever I threw a tantrum.
“You have to make this quick. I have to get home to help Amelia with her algebra homework.” I look over to her as she stands guarded.
“Okay.” She paused.
“I need money.” I smile as she walks closer, of course what fucking
else could it have been about. Why else would she need me to meet up with her?
“For what?”
She pauses again, “I need money to take care of myself Grayson.”
“It looks like you’re doing just fine without me, mother.” I replied to her as she sent me a scorned look, like she was ready to slap me.
“I miss you.” She instead changed her face to a look that make could fool and old man. But never me. I knew for a fact that she was just playing me which was awful because no mother should have bad intentions to her son that she claimed she loved and cared for.
But here we are yet again.
I turn around to ignore her comment.
“Do you know me mother?” I asked plainly with a false smile on my face yes again. I faked it so much that it came easy.
“Well, of course. You are my son.”
“Then what is my favorite color?” I turned around.
“Have I ever been in love? Do I prefer cats or dogs? What’s my dream? What type of food do I enjoy? Who’s my favorite artist? Do I enjoy playing the piano?” I looked at her face that was beyond terrified to answer.
“You don’t know me.” I kept my eyes on hers.
“I’ve lived with my stepmother for most of my life giving her the silent treatment, giving her shit, always taking her for granted because I thought that I owe it to you not to love her too. I didn’t want to be guilty by making you upset that I picked her over you like father did.”
Her head lowered to the ground, “Grayson.”
I cut her off again, “But I shouldn’t have ever felt that way. I should’ve loved her sooner because she knew my favorite snack before a hockey game, she knows my favorite pieces to play on the piano, she knows that I got a dog bite when I was seven that sent me to the ER.”
I laughed sarcastically, “And yet I tried to defend you. I was shitty to her because I was upset that she got the number one spot in fathers life,
when it truly was because she deserved it. You are nothing but a person who needs money for her own gain.”
“That money is for me to get better.”
“Bullshit!” I walked closer to her, closing my eyes, “You smell like a damn Brooklyn back street.”
“You don’t know what I’ve been through.” She explains as I ignore her once again.
“Nice car.” I let out, scanning her car that was parked on the curb. “You like it?” She walked towards it with a smile, “I stole it.”
My eyes widen, “You what?”
She laughs, “I’m joking, you never joke with your mother anymore.”
I take a labored breath, “You need some work on the paint job though, its scratched up at the front. I like this red paint on it though.”
She then turns silent.
I turn back around to her, “I’m not giving you money so you can buy drugs.” I stare.
She shakes her head, “And here I thought you cared about me.”
“I do, which is why I’m not giving you the damn money.” I walk over to my car, “I want you to get some help and if I would ever actually donate you money then it would be for that exact reason.”
I take a labored breath, “And the reason I’m doing this is because I cared about you mother.” She looked back to see police car alarms and her face gave the response of panic.
She looked completely and utterly guilty.
“I looked back on the damn house tapes as soon as Adrianna was in that hospital. Did you seriously think that I wouldn’t check up on my girl every day when we were broken up?”
I shake my head as the police started pulling in, “I saw you meet up with August. Don’t worry, I won’t let you go lonely in the jail cell. As for the baby, Elliot will be getting full custody and you are never to see Adrianna or me every again.”
Two police officers pull her arms behind her back cuffing her; I felt an uneasy feeling run through my damn veins. Seeing my mother being placed in the back of a police car wasn’t my ideal way of feeling happiness and relief but it gave me ten percent of it.
“For as smart at you claimed to be, you should know that a billionaire’s daughter’s car has a camera installed which could clearly see what car
rammed into her.”
My mother couldn’t say anything. Only look at me like I completely betrayed her. My heart broke but not as much as it would’ve if I let her get away with something like this.
There was no going back, and I knew that.
Still, there was a part of me that wished that she was a better mother for me to be able to defend.
 |
It had been weeks since my mother’s arrest. I had ordered the arrest to be kept on the low and for Adrianna not to be alerted and it had seem that she didn’t want to remember anything from the crash anyways.
Liam was still ignoring me, making it difficult to be on the same damn
hockey team with him, I walked the hallways of Hawthorne University sneaking a peak at Adrianna who hadn’t spared me a glimpse.
I didn’t blame her. I wouldn’t be a good fan of me either after I didn’t show up to her hospital room to see her, or remotely even say anything to her.
I want her back. I want my girl back and it was killing me inside that she wasn’t next to me, that I wasn’t near her. I knew she was in obvious pain; she still had a brace on.
I wanted to come to her, I really did, but the image of her being killed rotted inside my brain. The illustration imbedded into my conscience when she started bleeding in front of me when I touched her.
It was only a damn sign that she didn’t belong with me and the only thing I gave her was a faith close to death.
But we had debate class, and it’s the one class we had to talk to each other. For the first time since the accident. For the first time since everything.
We had been separated into rows on opposite sides she was on the other, with Liam, while Margo and I sat on the same side she hated me as well.
Mr. Kingston stood in front of everyone introducing today’s topic of
Loyalty versus Love.
I was told to defend Love while she defended Loyalty.
“Who would like to begin?” Mr. Kingston asked as I looked at Adrianna’s face. She stood up quickly, her eyes remained everywhere but mine. I wished to have seen them again.
“Mr. Kingston, I would rather have loyalty than love. It’s difficult to find someone that really only has their eyes set on yours from the beginning. Anyone can love you and say they love you yet still harbor hatred and hurt for you even if their feelings are true.”
I stood quickly, her eyes still not on mine yet everyone else’s is, “While I admire loyalty, it isn’t true in all ways. Some people aren’t loyal to the bone and are only loyal to you when they also need something tom you. Once those needs have conjured a different route, so does their loyalty. But love is a true way of expressing a feeling that cannot be replicated or bought. Loyalty is prone to blindness against a person’s actions. Loving someone is a gift that is offered to the other person with no expectations of returning love.”
“Not all love stories end in happily-ever-afters.” She fires back.
I swallowed the lump that got stuck in the back of my throat, she began to speak again. “Love means nothing without loyalty, many would define acts of love as sacrifices such as jumping off a burning bridge or dying for someone. But those are acts of loyalty. Not love.”
I stepped in again, “I wouldn’t want loyalty, it sounds forced. Many people have been in love with each other, and their souls stay in love. But when they meet different people, their loyalty will obviously change.
Adrianna’s eyes finally met with mine, her body facing my way, in front of the whole class, “Love is nothing without the trust you put on your partner every day to just be there. Having the trust that they will be there when needed and the understanding that no matter what happens you don’t have to worry if they will come back or not.”
I felt the room quiet, “How about a child and a parent?” I look at her as she folds her arms, “A mother or father can love their child as much as the universe can let them, but doesn’t loyalty go both ways?”
“If a mother and father love a child, then shouldn’t that child show loyalty? Shouldn’t they automatically have that tested the moment the child was born or could the first look that the father and mother give that child be the look of love?”
I didn’t want to make it personal, so I steered the different direction, “Children deserve great parents, but not every parent deserves children.”
Adrianna and I quieted looking around the class now understanding that it was out of the line to be arguing without letting others talk.
The professor looked at both of us with a thinned smile. “You two may take a seat.” Adrianna sat down gracefully as I flopped down on my seat, irritation rippled through my whole body.
I wonder if she ever thought about why I didn’t come to see her, but then again it was selfish of me to wish she did when I know damn well that she had to get over me somehow.
I would think about it for hours and hours, convincing myself that I made the right decision.
But it didn’t matter what I thought. Deep down I knew it was the right thing.
