It had been a week since the day of the accident.
A week of dread in the halls of Hawthorne University. A week of no soul left in me. A week of no sunlight.
Liam had been in and out of the hospital giving blood. It was crazy to
me that at this second Liam was more involved with Adrianna than I was.
My best friend and my girl shared the same blood, who knew? I wasn’t going to lie and say that I was thriving, I was actually failing at everything. Don’t even let me get started on hockey.
I’ve never been bad at the sport; I’ve always been the best. But the whole team knew I was a wreck, having me on the ice was a liability and I understood why I was benched in the last game.
Everyone knew about Adrianna and the accident. Everyone knew about fucking everything, and it pissed me off because the moment people hear about me being single again, every person interested in me threw themselves at me.
I walk out of my room with my hockey bag, my father stopping me from walking down the steps, “Grayson, I need to speak with you.”
I roll my eyes, “I don’t want to speak with you, at all.” I pass him running down the stairs, my father runs after me.
“Grayson Nicholas Prince.” He says with a stern voice as I ignore him, “You are acting like a damn fool over some girl.”
I turn around with my fists formed, “Don’t fucking talk about her. None of this would’ve ever happened if you stayed the fuck away from my love life.”
“I’m your father. I can be in your life as much as I want to be. The one thing I ask of you is to get your head out of your ass and stop wasting your time on these stupid hockey games.”
I smile at him, “You can go to hell.”
He pulls me back and my body starts to get irritated, “You’re right, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scold you again. I just think that with her being in the hospital, you should take a break from hockey.”
“Dad, cut the bull shit. You don’t care about me. You just don’t want me to play. Let me make one thing clear, you can start watching your mouth about whatever input you have about my life especially after what you tried to pull with August and Elliot.”
I pull my hockey bag over my shoulder, “I don’t just forgive and forget.
You should know me better than that by now.”
I picked up my keys from the table before thinking about making another unnecessary comment but then again, I was never one to thinking about refraining from making a terrible comment when it came to my father.
“Oh, I forgot. You never made an effort to actually know me.”
I let out, before walking over to my car I ran over to the other side of the street to Adrianna’s house where I rang her doorbell, hoping for anyone to answer.
Unexpectedly her father opens the door, “Mr. Cassian.” “Grayson, what do I owe the pleasure?”
I swallow looking beyond him and the doorway, “I was wondering if I could pick up something from Adrianna’s room to bring to the hospital that might make her feel better.”
It was true that Adrianna was still not awake, but I would never stop trying.
Damon Cassian only nods, letting me in. It was an odd environment without Adrianna in the house. It just felt like walls surrounding a place.
“It feels empty, doesn’t it?” He makes conversation. I pause, “I—”
“I’m not an idiot Grayson. I know you and my daughter spent countless nights here when I wasn’t home.”
I nodded as he walked me up the stairs. I wasn’t sure what to really say to him. I hadn’t really known what to say to anyone these past days.
We approach her bedroom as I walk in, I see the one thing I came for, her stuffed dog that she can’t sleep without. I pick Shovel up and turn around to meet Mr. Cassian’s confused eyes.
“I’m taking it to the hospital, she usually can’t sleep without it. It took a while for me to stomach coming into her room after everything.”
Adrianna’s father was a man with a few words, he didn’t say anything, only walking out with a stare that I’ve had for the past week.
“We actually have a game tonight, sir.” I answer as he smiles.
“I didn’t know that Liam was into hockey.” He looked amused, like he was happy to share an interest with his son.
I let my eyebrows furrow at the confusion that plastered across my face, “Yes, he’s getting over an injury right now so he’s getting very little play time, but once he’s good he’ll be back in.”
Mr. Cassian nods, leading me to the front door, “I know you think I don’t care about my daughter.” I didn’t say anything, only agreed from the inside my head, “Which is why I think you should understand why I don’t want you seeing her anymore.”
I turn around, “Sir.”
He interrupts me, “I know you’re a good kid, but I don’t ever want to see my daughter go through the pain that you’ve caused her the past months.”
Yeah, that fucking stung. It was like my stomach had been punched by a WWE wrestler and got jumped by Superman himself. I could have told him he was wrong but there was a huge part of myself that blamed myself for everything that had happened to Adrianna.
“Of course, I’m not going to stop you from being friends with Liam—” He starts as I laugh, “—And you won’t.”
“And I trust that you will take it in your best interest to agree to my terms.”
“Shouldn’t that be her choice?” I ask.
He walks closer, “Let’s just say that you’re lucky that I don’t ship her off to another school. She needs a fresh start, and you are not an example of a good start.”
What rang through my head was the big speech that Margo had screamed at me. Her best friend and her father have openly told me that they want me nowhere near her. How can I fucking argue when even I believe that she shouldn’t be near me?
I sigh, being so sick of everyone telling me that I’m not good enough for her. I was so sick of everyone telling me that she wasn’t good enough to be with me.
When were they going to get it through their heads that what they said wasn’t necessarily true?
I live and breathe her.
She’s in my damn bloodstream. My eyes have memorized her. My ears have her laughs on replay since it’s the only thing that calms me down.
And God I wish that she feels the same way about me.
I snap back to reality suddenly remembering that I was in front of Adrianna’s father, “I will not repeat myself again Grayson. I hope you understand that this is the best thing to do.”
I blankly stare before swallowing a lump in my throat. I only sigh, handing him the stuffed dog. I take a breath as he looks down at the stuffed animal, his face puzzled.
“I think she would appreciate it more if you bring it to her. Whether she’s awake or not, all she really wanted was your attention.” Without looking back, I left their house.
 |
I sat in the locker room, thirty minutes earlier like usual, feeling antsy and fucking stupid that I hadn’t been playing my A-game. I mean no one really had the guts to tell me I’d been playing crappy; they just
knew it.
I knew it as well and having Adrianna in the damn hospital was putting me in a fucking wreck, just as bad I was at hockey when we broke up.
I rolled out my leg as I watched Liam walk into the room, his face looked worse than mine.
“How was the hospital?” I ask.
Liam threw his hockey bag on me as I take a sigh, “You’re right, I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking, I shouldn’t have asked… I know you’re going through a lot. I’m not my best either obviously.”
Liam sits next to me, pulling out his hockey stick, “No one really wants to admit that everyone is going through something right now.”
I nod, knocking my head back, “You know your father is out there?”
I laugh, “It doesn’t surprise me, he’s been drilling me about quitting hockey ever since my breakup with Adrianna.”
“You aren’t quitting right?” He gave me a concerned look. I pushed him backwards, “Are you my best friend?”
He flips me off, “Are you really pushing the man that offers pints of rare blood to your girlfriend?”
I pull him forward, dusting off his shoulder, “My apologies.”
He stands up, “Technically, you’re banging my sister, my twin sister.” I scoff, “It’s not technically, I am banging your sister.”
“You think I’m older?” He asks.
I pick up my stick from the bench, “You can ask your long-lost father. He told me to tell you that he wanted to have dinner at 7, but I told him we had a game.”
Liam nods, with a smile on his face. At a very young age, I always knew that Liam wished for a father figure in his life. His mother was a workaholic, and his stepfather was never afraid to give him a black eye or two when we were growing up.
I always knew about it, and I even offered to call law enforcement, but Liam made me swear to keep quiet.
What he doesn’t know was that when Liam and I actually started growing real muscle and I could ram over men I met up with his stepfather, threatening not only his golden boy face but his business that’s definitely had its days in the illegal side of the law.
I would do anything for Liam, he was more of my brother than my real ones, Neil and Chris were my family as well, they all were, and it was really clear that we would go through life and death situations with each other.
The rest of the team started pooling in, “I didn’t want to tell you this, but maybe it would cheer you up and change the way you’ve been fucking up your slapshots.”
I pick up my hockey stick, “Adrianna woke up this morning during the transfusion.” My eyes widen, my heart stops as I whip over to look at him, smacking Chuck on the head, earning a scowl.
“She’s awake?”
I felt my body relax and my breath finally unhitching, “She wants to see you.”
I finally smiled for the first time in forever, like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. She was awake and fucking hell I wanted nothing more than be with her at this very second.
“That definitely just got you on your A game back, didn’t it?” He smiles coquettishly.
Liam fucking smiled.
Except I frown, I fucking frowned.
I couldn’t see her. I can’t see her. I made a promise not to see her. And I promised to leave her alone.
“Hello, did you just hear what I said?” Liam said with a lost expression. I swallow, “That’s great news for you guys.”
He laughs, “You’re joking right?” He walks in front of me, “That’s your girl. You’re supposed to blow off this game, run after your girl!”
I shake my head, “No, she’s not my girl. And what the hell are you talking about? I would never blow off a game just for a girl, Liam.” It stung letting the words just travel out of my mouth like that.
Liam looked like I just stabbed him through his injured leg. I would blow off any game for Adrianna. I’d blow off fucking anything for her.
“Just for a girl?!” He looked aggravated. “You know I’m talking about Adrianna, right?”
I didn’t say anything.
“You’re making me sick, and I need to get you out of my face.” He walks away as I clench my jaw.
I wanted to punch someone. I walked to put a dent on my damn locker, and I wanted to scream in the top of my lungs. But I also knew that Mr. Cassian was right. He couldn’t afford the next bad thing that could happen to Adrianna if she ran back to me.
But what hurt more was that I knew she was awake. I knew she wanted to see me, and I knew that I wasn’t allowed to.
And to make matters even worse, Liam was pissed at me.
I understood of course, I wouldn’t want to talk to me either. Liam never cared much about people, it was really just me and the rest of the boys. But what he had to wrap his head around this past week is that he has new people to care about.
It was hard for him to grasp the content that he cared about Margo more than he really should have to begin with. He cared about Adrianna the more he had to spend time with her.
And now he cared about her the way an older brother would care for a sister. I pick up my stick, taking a breath again as I walk out of the locker room.
My father was in the stand along with my whole family, including all of my brothers. August was nowhere to be found, rightly so I didn’t think I could stomach her being here tonight.
All my teammates started skating out and grabbing pucks as I skate a lap too cool off, they knew that I was in a pissed off mood the way Liam had stormed off the locker room.
They’ve never seen Liam and I fight. I have never seen Liam and I fight.
I skate over to the middle of the rink with everyone there, I could feel my eyes burning through them, “If I see anything less than what I’ve seen you do, I will scream at you.” I say out loud as everyone nods.
I looked over to the other team, we were playing the Rutherford Ravens, I studied hours of their games. I knew how they planned; I knew how they played, and I knew how they struck.
“They got nothing on your saves, Cole!” I look at him, I turn to Andrew and Chris, “You guys are two of the fastest on this team, show them you can fucking fly.”
I turn to Neil, “Keep up the aggression.”
I stand, “And just play the game we fucking love, and I promise I’ll get my head out of my ass and play like I normally would.”
They all laugh, “Good, we miss that guy.”
I turn again to look at the other team, Porter Del Monte staring dagger at me. I wink back at him, “I do miss it when others think they’re better than me.”
I look back at my teammates, Neil rolling his eyes, “It’s true, the only thing better than what you’re looking at is probably the big man upstairs.”
One of my other teammates Jay Villanueva playfully pushes me as my teammates laugh.
My whole world used to revolve around just hockey, that was before I finally admitted to myself that the girl that irritated the living shit out of me took over my mind twenty-four seven.
Now, I forbid myself from having a choice. It was only hockey.
