“I finally bought my dress for the ball!” Verina’s voice was sharper than ever as I looked over to her pulling the dress out of the bag and against her body, twirling.
I smile, “I love yellow on you.” I say plainly.
Margo hops out of the bed, “You are going to look so beautiful in that dress, V!”
I look around to look at Juliette who asked Margo and Verina to buy something random for her to wear. She wasn’t the type to care about these types of balls.
She thinks it’s just a boring tradition that all rich families have to take part in. I simply agreed but, of course, Margo and Verina loved these types of events. Juliette and I couldn’t care less.
I yawn, “Tell me how it goes.” I start to stand up.
Margo pulls me back, “Why don’t you want to attend?” She jumps as I knock my head forward.
“Because I simply think that these balls are for other rich people to judge us because we are the new generation. Why should I care about what they say about me and my goals?”
Margo’s eyes looked like thunder striking on an empty field of grass, “These people want you to succeed in life.”
I narrow my brows, “They want us to be an ornament to society.” “You’re going.” She instructs as I laugh.
“Too late. I don’t have a dress.” I countered as Margo’s eyes gleamed with trouble.
I simply regretted my decision to come over, knowing she was just planning to make me go to the Winter Charity Ball.
“Margo…” I warn as Verina runs out of the closet with a long, beautiful, white dress on a hanger.
I grew stunned at the fact that they picked out a dress that I incredibly enjoyed. It was beautiful, and magical. Like it was straight out of a damn fairytale I couldn’t keep my eyes away from it.
Margo and Verina nod to each other, “Beautiful, isn’t it?” They looked at me as I stood there stunned.
“It’s…” I mutter, “perfect.”
I take a good look at it, “It’s your dress,” Margo says in a sing song voice.
I hug her, “I’m not even sure if I want to go.”
She looks at me with a sad expression, “But we bought you a dress and everything!”
I pull away, “I can pay you back if you want but I don’t think that it’s a good idea.”
Verina scowls, “The president should be there you know.” Margo looks at her with brilliant eyes.
They got me.
“Well, I can be kept updated when other people from the committee tell me how it goes, like you and Juliette.”
Juliette grins with a vile look, “Oh, I don’t think so.”
It turned silent as I sat on the bed, slumping back as my head rested on Juliette’s lap. “Let’s talk about what this is really about.” I close my eyes.
I would rather not but I knew that I needed to talk about it anyways. “This is about Prince.” Verina comes over as I open my eyes.
I take a pillow and put it on top of my face with a sorry attempt in trying to suffocate myself. I look at Verina with a frown, “Have any of you talked to him at all?”
They all shake their heads. Margo walks up to me, “I know. It’s killing you.”
I look at her I wasn’t sure if there was much soul left in my eyes, “All parts of me are tired.”
She hugs me, “We love you. Never forget that.” I smile, Verina and Juliette pile on as I laugh.
“We love you with love that is more than love.” Juliette points out, “I read it from Edgar Allan Poe.”
And I love my best friends with everything that I have, they have always been there for me whenever I needed them to be.
“You know what!” Verina stands with a finger pointed to me, “Fuck him!”
“He broke your heart. Do you know many men that have broken Adrianna Cassian’s heart?” I roll my eyes playfully.
“He didn’t break my heart; I didn’t tell him I loved him.” She folds her arms together, “But you do love him.”
I bit my lip, I couldn’t speak it was as if the world got knocked out of me, “We never thought that you and Grayson would be more than just enemies.”
I nodded, it was a lot simpler then, wasn’t it?
“But you brought Grayson Prince, captain of the hockey team, billionaire, and playboy to his fucking knees Anna.”
I look away from her, “You have to let him go and I know it doesn’t sound nice to hear, but you have to stop thinking about the way he kissed you, the way he smelled, or the little touches.” Margo interrupts, “You have to let him go because he isn’t like that anymore. Maybe it was who he was but definitely not who is planning to being.”
I close my eyes once more, Margo was right and it was the best decision for me, it only made things simpler to end my life. But my friends have always been a good factor in me waking up in the morning.
I get up, a full rush on energy, “Where are you going?”
They all look at me with concerned faces, “I’m taking all of Grayson’s shit and giving it back. He doesn’t deserve my tears or any part of me anymore.”
I rush out of Margo house, her face looking shocked and Verina’s looked flabbergasted.
“You are going to the ball then right!” She screams.
I roll my eyes, “Yes!” I yell back as I hear them celebrate.
I wasn’t going to hold myself back from living my life in the remainder of my one week left.
I certainly wasn’t going to waste it on Grayson. He didn’t deserve my tears or to be in my thoughts.
Verina asked me if I was really in love.
I wouldn’t call it love. I call it burning. He burned me with his touch. He burned my heart. The tears that I cried because of him burned the worst.
It burned everywhere.
 |
Did I have any right to drive over to Grayson’s house?
No. Absolutely fucking not.
But did I have a good reason to?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
So I did. I drove to Grayson’s house with his sweaters, jackets, the necklace he gave me, his hockey jersey, and the blankets he’d left behind.
I walked slowly up to the front door, trying to steady myself. As much as I wanted to hurl his things at him and walk away forever, I didn’t. Instead, I rang the doorbell and waited. And there he was. Grayson opened the door, looking completely taken aback. Just seeing him brought back feelings I despised.
Disappointment.
Grayson stood there with a blank expression, as if none of what happened between us meant anything to him. Did it hurt him as much as it hurt me?
The memories he created with me were etched in permanent ink. But now, I was left in the scribbles of a black-and-white world without him.
I wished I could take it all back—the feelings I shared, the touches, the kisses, the tears, my loyalty, my vulnerability, and my time. Seeing him made me wish he had never entered my life.
“Dove,” he says hesitantly, his voice cracking. I flinched at the word, and he noticed.
“Don’t call me that,” I replied flatly, my words cold and distant.
“Adrianna,” he corrects himself, and I glare at him. “Don’t call me by my first name,” I snapped.
He sighed, “Cassian,” he muttered as I stared at him with a blank expression.
“I just came to return your things. I don’t want them around anymore, and I don’t see why I should keep them.” I handed him the box of items, which he took from me.
I let the pain sink in.
“Gray, do you want some cookies I baked with Amelia?” a soft voice called from behind him. My heart plummeted as my eyes met coral-green ones.
I swallowed hard. It felt like my heart had been ripped out and stomped on when I saw August Gales standing behind him, wearing his hoodie.
I couldn’t find the words, just stared at him with a mixture of despair and betrayal. I could feel the tears building up.
“Babe?” she called, and I shook the tears away. Grayson turned, “Yeah, of course.”
August paused, her eyes locking with mine, and I felt the breath leave my lungs.
She smiled thinly, her gaze never leaving mine. “Evening, Adrianna.” I stayed silent, refusing to look at him, focusing on her instead, wondering if this was really happening.
My vision blurred, along with the good memories Grayson and I shared. “So, you chose her.”
Silence. “I did.”
My throat tightened. “Do you regret it?”
“No. We were never real.” His words stung as he continued. “Everything I gave you was real. I was a fool for believing the same from you.”
My heart ached, but I forced a smile. He looked at me with a distant longing. “Is that it?” he asked, as if too indifferent to care how I was.
I just looked at him, my hands trembling. “I just want to know one thing…” I asked as he stepped away from the door. “Why did you do it?”
Grayson licked his lips, searching for the right words. I cut him off, letting a tear slip down my cheek before quickly wiping it away, no longer willing to let him see me cry.
“You knew how much you meant to me, and…”
I looked away, unable to meet the eyes that once brought me comfort. “…You knew it would hurt me, but somehow…somehow, that didn’t stop you?”
The saddest part of betrayal isn’t the act itself but the fact that it comes from those who shouldn’t betray you.
“I’m so sorry,” Grayson said, taking a step closer. But I stepped back.
My heart shattered as if he had crushed it underfoot. I held my breath. “Don’t come near me.”
He closed his eyes, “I wish I could explain.” I looked at him again. “Then explain.”
He stays silent.
I thought he was healing me, but he broke me even more than I was before I was with him, “Why did you have to walk into my life when I was perfectly fine?” I say softly as Grayson swallows.
Grayson’s silence was so fucking loud it made me irritated, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He speaks.
I gave an irritable laugh, “But you did. You can’t take it back because you knew I was going through hell and your fucking solution was to leave?”
I wanted to let all my feelings out for him, taking a step closer, slapping his cheek, I pull away, “You looked me right in the eyes and told me that we still had forever.” I start to gather my bag which fell down my arm, “I didn’t know that your definition of forever was a thirty-day free trial.”
I laugh, walking away, “Rot in hell, Prince.”
I walked away from Grayson that day, not planning to ever revisit him. I felt acid in my lungs, and I broke. I felt nothing.
