At the time when I stood in the churchyard reading the family tombstones, I had just enough learning to be able to spell them out. My construction even of their simple meaning was not very correct, for I read โwife of the Aboveโ as a complimentary reference to my fatherโs exaltation to a better world; and if any one of my deceased relations had been referred to as โBelow,โ I have no doubt I should have formed the worst opinions of that member of the family. Neither were my notions of the theological positions to which my Catechism bound me, at all accurate; for, I have a lively remembrance that I supposed my declaration that I was to โwalk in the same all the days of my life,โ laid me under an obligation always to go through the village from our house in one particular direction, and never to vary it by turning down by the wheelwrightโs or up by the mill.
When I was old enough, I was to be apprenticed to Joe, and until I could assume that dignity I was not to be what Mrs. Joe called โPompeyed,โ or (as I render it) pampered. Therefore, I was not only odd-boy about the forge, but if any neighbour happened to want an extra boy to frighten birds, or pick up stones, or do any such job, I was favoured with the employment. In order, however, that our superior position might not be compromised thereby, a money-box was kept on the kitchen mantel-shelf, into which it was publicly made known that all my earnings were dropped. I have an impression that they were to be contributed eventually towards the liquidation of the National Debt, but I know I had no hope of any personal participation in the treasure.
Mr. Wopsleโs great-aunt kept an evening school in the village; that is to say, she was a ridiculous old woman of limited means and unlimited infirmity, who used to go to sleep from six to seven every evening, in the society of youth who paid two pence per week each, for the improving opportunity of seeing her do it. She rented a small cottage, and Mr. Wopsle had the room upstairs, where we students used to overhear him reading aloud in a most dignified and terrific manner, and occasionally bumping on the ceiling. There was a fiction that Mr. Wopsle โexaminedโ the scholars once a quarter. What he did on those occasions was to turn up his cuffs, stick up his hair, and give us Mark Antonyโs oration over the body of Caesar. This was always followed by Collinsโs Ode on the Passions, wherein I particularly venerated Mr. Wopsle as Revenge throwing his blood-stained sword in thunder down, and taking the War-denouncing trumpet with a withering look. It was not with me then, as it was in later life, when I fell into the society of the Passions, and compared them with Collins and Wopsle, rather to the disadvantage of both gentlemen.
Mr. Wopsleโs great-aunt, besides keeping this Educational Institution, kept in the same roomโa little general shop. She had no idea what stock she had, or what the price of anything in it was; but there was a little greasy memorandum-book kept in a drawer, which served as a Catalogue of Prices, and by this oracle Biddy arranged all the shop transactions. Biddy was Mr. Wopsleโs great-auntโs granddaughter; I confess myself quite unequal to the working out of the problem, what relation she was to Mr. Wopsle. She was an orphan like myself; like me, too, had been brought up by hand. She was most noticeable, I thought, in respect of her extremities; for, her hair always wanted brushing, her hands always wanted washing, and her shoes always wanted mending and pulling up at heel. This description must be received with a week-day limitation. On Sundays, she went to church elaborated.
Much of my unassisted self, and more by the help of Biddy than of Mr. Wopsleโs great-aunt, I struggled through the alphabet as if it had been a bramble-bush; getting considerably worried and scratched by every letter. After that I fell among those thieves, the nine figures, who seemed every evening to do something new to disguise themselves and baffle recognition. But, at last I began, in a purblind groping way, to read, write, and cipher, on the very smallest scale.
One night I was sitting in the chimney corner with my slate, expending great efforts on the production of a letter to Joe. I think it must have been a full year after our hunt upon the marshes, for it was a long time after, and it was winter and a hard frost. With an alphabet on the hearth at my feet for reference, I contrived in an hour or two to print and smear this epistle:โ
โMIย DEERย JO iย OPE Uย R KRWITEย WELLย iย OPE iย SHAL
SON Bย HABELL 4 2ย TEEDGEย U JOย ANย THENย WEย SHORL B
SOย GLODD ANย WENย i Mย PRENGTD 2ย Uย JOย WOTย LARXย AN
BLEVE MEย INFย XNย PIP.โ
There was no indispensable necessity for my communicating with Joe by letter, inasmuch as he sat beside me and we were alone. But I delivered this written communication (slate and all) with my own hand, and Joe received it as a miracle of erudition.
โI say, Pip, old chap!โ cried Joe, opening his blue eyes wide, โwhat a scholar you are! Anโt you?โ
โI should like to be,โ said I, glancing at the slate as he held it; with a misgiving that the writing was rather hilly.
โWhy, hereโs a J,โ said Joe, โand a O equal to anythink! Hereโs a J and a O, Pip, and a J-O, Joe.โ
I had never heard Joe read aloud to any greater extent than this monosyllable, and I had observed at church last Sunday, when I accidentally held our Prayer-Book upside down, that it seemed to suit his convenience quite as well as if it had been all right. Wishing to embrace the present occasion of finding out whether in teaching Joe, I should have to begin quite at the beginning, I said, โAh! But read the rest, Jo.โ
โThe rest, eh, Pip?โ said Joe, looking at it with a slow, searching eye, โOne, two, three. Why, hereโs three Js, and three Os, and three J-O, Joes in it, Pip!โ
I leaned over Joe, and, with the aid of my forefinger read him the whole letter.
โAstonishing!โ said Joe, when I had finished. โYouย AREย a scholar.โ
โHow do you spell Gargery, Joe?โ I asked him, with a modest patronage.
โI donโt spell it at all,โ said Joe.
โBut supposing you did?โ
โItย canโtย be supposed,โ said Joe. โThoโ Iโm uncommon fond of reading, too.โ
โAre you, Joe?โ
โOn-common. Give me,โ said Joe, โa good book, or a good newspaper, and sit me down afore a good fire, and I ask no better. Lord!โ he continued, after rubbing his knees a little, โwhen youย doย come to a J and a O, and says you, โHere, at last, is a J-O, Joe,โ how interesting reading is!โ
I derived from this, that Joeโs education, like Steam, was yet in its infancy. Pursuing the subject, I inquired,โ
โDidnโt you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little as me?โ
โNo, Pip.โ
โWhy didnโt you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little as me?โ
โWell, Pip,โ said Joe, taking up the poker, and settling himself to his usual occupation when he was thoughtful, of slowly raking the fire between the lower bars; โIโll tell you. My father, Pip, he were given to drink, and when he were overtook with drink, he hammered away at my mother, most onmerciful. It were aโmost the only hammering he did, indeed, โxcepting at myself. And he hammered at me with a wigor only to be equalled by the wigor with which he didnโt hammer at his anwil.โYouโre a listening and understanding, Pip?โ
โYes, Joe.โ
โConsequence, my mother and me we ran away from my father several times; and then my mother sheโd go out to work, and sheโd say, โJoe,โ sheโd say, โnow, please God, you shall have some schooling, child,โ and sheโd put me to school. But my father were that good in his hart that he couldnโt abear to be without us. So, heโd come with a most tremenjous crowd and make such a row at the doors of the houses where we was, that they used to be obligated to have no more to do with us and to give us up to him. And then he took us home and hammered us. Which, you see, Pip,โ said Joe, pausing in his meditative raking of the fire, and looking at me, โwere a drawback on my learning.โ
โCertainly, poor Joe!โ
โThough mind you, Pip,โ said Joe, with a judicial touch or two of the poker on the top bar, โrendering unto all their doo, and maintaining equal justice betwixt man and man, my father were that good in his hart, donโt you see?โ
I didnโt see; but I didnโt say so.
โWell!โ Joe pursued, โsomebody must keep the pot a-biling, Pip, or the pot wonโt bile, donโt you know?โ
I saw that, and said so.
โConsequence, my father didnโt make objections to my going to work; so I went to work at my present calling, which were his too, if he would have followed it, and I worked tolerable hard, I assureย you, Pip. In time I were able to keep him, and I kep him till he went off in a purple leptic fit. And it were my intentions to have had put upon his tombstone that, Whatsumeโer the failings on his part, Remember reader he were that good in his heart.โ
Joe recited this couplet with such manifest pride and careful perspicuity, that I asked him if he had made it himself.
โI made it,โ said Joe, โmy own self. I made it in a moment. It was like striking out a horseshoe complete, in a single blow. I never was so much surprised in all my life,โcouldnโt credit my own ed,โto tell you the truth, hardly believed itย wereย my own ed. As I was saying, Pip, it were my intentions to have had it cut over him; but poetry costs money, cut it how you will, small or large, and it were not done. Not to mention bearers, all the money that could be spared were wanted for my mother. She were in poor elth, and quite broke. She werenโt long of following, poor soul, and her share of peace come round at last.โ
Joeโs blue eyes turned a little watery; he rubbed first one of them, and then the other, in a most uncongenial and uncomfortable manner, with the round knob on the top of the poker.
โIt were but lonesome then,โ said Joe, โliving here alone, and I got acquainted with your sister. Now, Pip,โโJoe looked firmly at me as if he knew I was not going to agree with him;โโyour sister is a fine figure of a woman.โ
I could not help looking at the fire, in an obvious state of doubt.
โWhatever family opinions, or whatever the worldโs opinions, on that subject may be, Pip, your sister is,โ Joe tapped the top bar with the poker after every word following, โa-fine-figureโofโaโwoman!โ
I could think of nothing better to say than โI am glad you think so, Joe.โ
โSo am I,โ returned Joe, catching me up. โIย am glad I think so, Pip. A little redness or a little matter of Bone, here or there, what does it signify to Me?โ
I sagaciously observed, if it didnโt signify to him, to whom did it signify?
โCertainly!โ assented Joe. โThatโs it. Youโre right, old chap! When I got acquainted with your sister, it were the talk how she was bringing you up by hand. Very kind of her too, all the folks said, and I said, along with all the folks. As to you,โ Joe pursued with a countenance expressive of seeing something very nasty indeed, โif you could have been aware how small and flabby and mean you was, dear me, youโd have formed the most contemptible opinion of yourself!โ
Not exactly relishing this, I said, โNever mind me, Joe.โ
โBut I did mind you, Pip,โ he returned with tender simplicity. โWhen I offered to your sister to keep company, and to be asked in church at such times as she was willing and ready to come to the forge, I said to her, โAnd bring the poor little child. God bless the poor little child,โ I said to your sister, โthereโs room forย himย at the forge!โโ
I broke out crying and begging pardon, and hugged Joe round the neck: who dropped the poker to hug me, and to say, โEver the best of friends; anโt us, Pip? Donโt cry, old chap!โ
When this little interruption was over, Joe resumed:โ
โWell, you see, Pip, and here we are! Thatโs about where it lights; here we are! Now, when you take me in hand in my learning, Pip (and I tell you beforehand I am awful dull, most awful dull), Mrs. Joe mustnโt see too much of what weโre up to. It must be done, as I may say, on the sly. And why on the sly? Iโll tell you why, Pip.โ
He had taken up the poker again; without which, I doubt if he could have proceeded in his demonstration.
โYour sister is given to government.โ
โGiven to government, Joe?โ I was startled, for I had some shadowy idea (and I am afraid I must add, hope) that Joe had divorced her in a favour of the Lords of the Admiralty, or Treasury.
โGiven to government,โ said Joe. โWhich I meantersay the government of you and myself.โ
โOh!โ
โAnd she anโt over partial to having scholars on the premises,โ Joe continued, โand in partickler would not be over partial to my being a scholar, for fear as I might rise. Like a sort of rebel, donโt you see?โ
I was going to retort with an inquiry, and had got as far as โWhyโโ when Joe stopped me.
โStay a bit. I know what youโre a-going to say, Pip; stay a bit! I donโt deny that your sister comes the Mo-gul over us, now and again. I donโt deny that she do throw us back-falls, and that she do drop down upon us heavy. At such times as when your sister is on the Ram-page, Pip,โ Joe sank his voice to a whisper and glanced at the door, โcandour compels fur to admit that she is a Buster.โ
Joe pronounced this word, as if it began with at least twelve capital Bs.
โWhy donโt I rise? That were your observation when I broke it off, Pip?โ
โYes, Joe.โ
โWell,โ said Joe, passing the poker into his left hand, that he might feel his whisker; and I had no hope of him whenever he took to that placid occupation; โyour sisterโs a master-mind. A master-mind.โ
โWhatโs that?โ I asked, in some hope of bringing him to a stand. But Joe was readier with his definition than I had expected, and completely stopped me by arguing circularly, and answering with a fixed look, โHer.โ
โAnd I ainโt a master-mind,โ Joe resumed, when he had unfixed his look, and got back to his whisker. โAnd last of all, Pip,โand this I want to say very serious to you, old chap,โI see so much in my poor mother, of a woman drudging and slaving and breaking her honest hart and never getting no peace in her mortal days, that Iโm dead afeerd of going wrong in the way of not doing whatโs right by a woman, and Iโd fur rather of the two go wrong the tโother way, and be a little ill-conwenienced myself. I wish it was only me that got put out, Pip; I wish there warnโt no Tickler for you, old chap; I wish I could take it all on myself; but this is the up-and-down-and-straight on it, Pip, and I hope youโll overlook shortcomings.โ
Young as I was, I believe that I dated a new admiration of Joe from that night. We were equals afterwards, as we had been before; but, afterwards at quiet times when I sat looking at Joe and thinking about him, I had a new sensation of feeling conscious that I was looking up to Joe in my heart.
โHowever,โ said Joe, rising to replenish the fire; โhereโs the Dutch-clock a-working himself up to being equal to strike Eight of โem, and sheโs not come home yet! I hope Uncle Pumblechookโs mare maynโt have set a forefoot on a piece oโ ice, and gone down.โ
Mrs. Joe made occasional trips with Uncle Pumblechook on market-days, to assist him in buying such household stuffs and goods as required a womanโs judgment; Uncle Pumblechook being a bachelor and reposing no confidences in his domestic servant. This was market-day, and Mrs. Joe was out on one of these expeditions.
Joe made the fire and swept the hearth, and then we went to the door to listen for the chaise-cart. It was a dry cold night, and the wind blew keenly, and the frost was white and hard. A man would die to-night of lying out on the marshes, I thought. And then I looked at the stars, and considered how awful it would be for a man to turn his face up to them as he froze to death, and see no help or pity in all the glittering multitude.
โHere comes the mare,โ said Joe, โringing like a peal of bells!โ
The sound of her iron shoes upon the hard road was quite musical, as she came along at a much brisker trot than usual. We got a chair out, ready for Mrs. Joeโs alighting, and stirred up the fire that they might see a bright window, and took a final survey of the kitchen that nothing might be out of its place. When we had completed these preparations, they drove up, wrapped to the eyes. Mrs. Joe was soon landed, and Uncle Pumblechook was soon down too, covering the mare with a cloth, and we were soon all in the kitchen, carrying so much cold air in with us that it seemed to drive all the heat out of the fire.
โNow,โ said Mrs. Joe, unwrapping herself with haste and excitement, and throwing her bonnet back on her shoulders where it hung by the strings, โif this boy ainโt grateful this night, he never will be!โ
I looked as grateful as any boy possibly could, who was wholly uninformed why he ought to assume that expression.
โItโs only to be hoped,โ said my sister, โthat he wonโt be Pompeyed. But I have my fears.โ
โShe ainโt in that line, Mum,โ said Mr. Pumblechook. โShe knows better.โ
She? I looked at Joe, making the motion with my lips and eyebrows, โShe?โ Joe looked at me, making the motion withย hisย lips and eyebrows, โShe?โ My sister catching him in the act, he drew the back of his hand across his nose with his usual conciliatory air on such occasions, and looked at her.
โWell?โ said my sister, in her snappish way. โWhat are you staring at? Is the house afire?โ
โโWhich some individual,โ Joe politely hinted, โmentionedโshe.โ
โAnd she is a she, I suppose?โ said my sister. โUnless you call Miss Havisham a he. And I doubt if even youโll go so far as that.โ
โMiss Havisham, up town?โ said Joe.
โIs there any Miss Havisham down town?โ returned my sister.
โShe wants this boy to go and play there. And of course heโs going. And he had better play there,โ said my sister, shaking her head at me as an encouragement to be extremely light and sportive, โor Iโll work him.โ
I had heard of Miss Havisham up town,โeverybody for miles round had heard of Miss Havisham up town,โas an immensely rich and grim lady who lived in a large and dismal house barricaded against robbers, and who led a life of seclusion.
โWell to be sure!โ said Joe, astounded. โI wonder how she come to know Pip!โ
โNoodle!โ cried my sister. โWho said she knew him?โ
โโWhich some individual,โ Joe again politely hinted, โmentioned that she wanted him to go and play there.โ
โAnd couldnโt she ask Uncle Pumblechook if he knew of a boy to go and play there? Isnโt it just barely possible that Uncle Pumblechook may be a tenant of hers, and that he may sometimesโwe wonโt say quarterly or half-yearly, for that would be requiring too much of youโbut sometimesโgo there to pay his rent? And couldnโt she then ask Uncle Pumblechook if he knew of a boy to go and play there? And couldnโt Uncle Pumblechook, being always considerate and thoughtful for usโthough you may not think it, Joseph,โ in a tone of the deepest reproach, as if he were the most callous of nephews, โthen mention this boy, standing Prancing hereโโwhich I solemnly declare I was not doingโโthat I have for ever been a willing slave to?โ
โGood again!โ cried Uncle Pumblechook. โWell put! Prettily pointed! Good indeed! Now Joseph, you know the case.โ
โNo, Joseph,โ said my sister, still in a reproachful manner, while Joe apologetically drew the back of his hand across and across his nose, โyou do not yetโthough you may not think itโknow the case. You may consider that you do, but you doย not, Joseph. For you do not know that Uncle Pumblechook, being sensible that for anything we can tell, this boyโs fortune may be made by his going to Miss Havishamโs, has offered to take him into town to-night in his own chaise-cart, and to keep him to-night, and to take him with his own hands to Miss Havishamโs to-morrow morning. And Lor-a-mussy me!โ cried my sister, casting off her bonnet in sudden desperation, โhere I stand talking to mere Mooncalfs, with Uncle Pumblechook waiting, and the mare catching cold at the door, and the boy grimed with crock and dirt from the hair of his head to the sole of his foot!โ
With that, she pounced upon me, like an eagle on a lamb, and my face was squeezed into wooden bowls in sinks, and my head was put under taps of water-butts, and I was soaped, and kneaded, and towelled, and thumped, and harrowed, and rasped, until I really was quite beside myself. (I may here remark that I suppose myself to be better acquainted than any living authority, with the ridgy effect of a wedding-ring, passing unsympathetically over the human countenance.)
When my ablutions were completed, I was put into clean linen of the stiffest character, like a young penitent into sackcloth, and was trussed up in my tightest and fearfullest suit. I was then delivered over to Mr. Pumblechook, who formally received me as if he were the Sheriff, and who let off upon me the speech that I knew he had been dying to make all along: โBoy, be forever grateful to all friends, but especially unto them which brought you up by hand!โ
โGood-bye, Joe!โ
โGod bless you, Pip, old chap!โ
I had never parted from him before, and what with my feelings and what with soapsuds, I could at first see no stars from the chaise-cart. But they twinkled out one by one, without throwing any light on the questions why on earth I was going to play at Miss Havishamโs, and what on earth I was expected to play at.