โMYย DEARย MRย PIP:โ
โI write this by request of Mr. Gargery, for to let you know that he is going to London in company with Mr. Wopsle and would be glad if agreeable to be allowed to see you. He would call at Barnardโs Hotel Tuesday morning at nine oโclock, when if not agreeable please leave word. Your poor sister is much the same as when you left. We talk of you in the kitchen every night, and wonder what you are saying and doing. If now considered in the light of a liberty, excuse it for the love of poor old days. No more, dear Mr. Pip, from
โYour ever obliged, and affectionate servant,
โBIDDY.โ
โP.S. He wishes me most particular to writeย what larks. He says you will understand. I hope and do not doubt it will be agreeable to see him, even though a gentleman, for you had ever a good heart, and he is a worthy, worthy man. I have read him all, excepting only the last little sentence, and he wishes me most particular to write againย what larks.โ
I received this letter by the post on Monday morning, and therefore its appointment was for next day. Let me confess exactly with what feelings I looked forward to Joeโs coming.
Not with pleasure, though I was bound to him by so many ties; no; with considerable disturbance, some mortification, and a keen sense of incongruity. If I could have kept him away by paying money, I certainly would have paid money. My greatest reassurance was that he was coming to Barnardโs Inn, not to Hammersmith, and consequently would not fall in Bentley Drummleโs way. I had little objection to his being seen by Herbert or his father, for both of whom I had a respect; but I had the sharpest sensitiveness as to his being seen by Drummle, whom I held in contempt. So, throughout life, our worst weaknesses and meannesses are usually committed for the sake of the people whom we most despise.
I had begun to be always decorating the chambers in some quite unnecessary and inappropriate way or other, and very expensive those wrestles with Barnard proved to be. By this time, the rooms were vastly different from what I had found them, and I enjoyed the honour of occupying a few prominent pages in the books of a neighbouring upholsterer. I had got on so fast of late, that I had even started a boy in boots,โtop boots,โin bondage and slavery to whom I might have been said to pass my days. For, after I had made the monster (out of the refuse of my washerwomanโs family), and had clothed him with a blue coat, canary waistcoat, white cravat, creamy breeches, and the boots already mentioned, I had to find him a little to do and a great deal to eat; and with both of those horrible requirements he haunted my existence.
This avenging phantom was ordered to be on duty at eight on Tuesday morning in the hall, (it was two feet square, as charged for floorcloth,) and Herbert suggested certain things for breakfast that he thought Joe would like. While I felt sincerely obliged to him for being so interested and considerate, I had an odd half-provoked sense of suspicion upon me, that if Joe had been coming to seeย him, he wouldnโt have been quite so brisk about it.
However, I came into town on the Monday night to be ready for Joe, and I got up early in the morning, and caused the sitting-room and breakfast-table to assume their most splendid appearance. Unfortunately the morning was drizzly, and an angel could not have concealed the fact that Barnard was shedding sooty tears outside the window, like some weak giant of a Sweep.
As the time approached I should have liked to run away, but the Avenger pursuant to orders was in the hall, and presently I heard Joe on the staircase. I knew it was Joe, by his clumsy manner of coming upstairs,โhis state boots being always too big for him,โand by the time it took him to read the names on the other floors in the course of his ascent. When at last he stopped outside our door, I could hear his finger tracing over the painted letters of my name, and I afterwards distinctly heard him breathing in at the keyhole. Finally he gave a faint single rap, and Pepperโsuch was the compromising name of the avenging boyโannounced โMr. Gargery!โ I thought he never would have done wiping his feet, and that I must have gone out to lift him off the mat, but at last he came in.
โJoe, how are you, Joe?โ
โPip, howย AIRย you, Pip?โ
With his good honest face all glowing and shining, and his hat put down on the floor between us, he caught both my hands and worked them straight up and down, as if I had been the last-patented Pump.
โI am glad to see you, Joe. Give me your hat.โ
But Joe, taking it up carefully with both hands, like a birdโs-nest with eggs in it, wouldnโt hear of parting with that piece of property, and persisted in standing talking over it in a most uncomfortable way.
โWhich you have that growed,โ said Joe, โand that swelled, and that gentle-folked;โ Joe considered a little before he discovered this word; โas to be sure you are a honour to your king and country.โ
โAnd you, Joe, look wonderfully well.โ
โThank God,โ said Joe, โIโm ekerval to most. And your sister, sheโs no worse than she were. And Biddy, sheโs ever right and ready. And all friends is no backerder, if not no forarder. โCeptin Wopsle; heโs had a drop.โ
All this time (still with both hands taking great care of the birdโs-nest), Joe was rolling his eyes round and round the room, and round and round the flowered pattern of my dressing-gown.
โHad a drop, Joe?โ
โWhy yes,โ said Joe, lowering his voice, โheโs left the Church and went into the playacting. Which the playacting have likeways brought him to London along with me. And his wish were,โ said Joe, getting the birdโs-nest under his left arm for the moment, and groping in it for an egg with his right; โif no offence, as I would โand you that.โ
I took what Joe gave me, and found it to be the crumpled play-bill of a small metropolitan theatre, announcing the first appearance, in that very week, of โthe celebrated Provincial Amateur of Roscian renown, whose unique performance in the highest tragic walk of our National Bard has lately occasioned so great a sensation in local dramatic circles.โ
โWere you at his performance, Joe?โ I inquired.
โIย were,โ said Joe, with emphasis and solemnity.
โWas there a great sensation?โ
โWhy,โ said Joe, โyes, there certainly were a peck of orange-peel. Partickler when he see the ghost. Though I put it to yourself, sir, whether it were calcโlated to keep a man up to his work with a good hart, to be continiwally cutting in betwixt him and the Ghost with โAmen!โ A man may have had a misfortunโ and been in the Church,โ said Joe, lowering his voice to an argumentative and feeling tone, โbut that is no reason why you should put him out at such a time. Which I meantersay, if the ghost of a manโs own father cannot be allowed to claim his attention, what can, Sir? Still more, when his mourning โat is unfortunately made so small as that the weight of the black feathers brings it off, try to keep it on how you may.โ
A ghost-seeing effect in Joeโs own countenance informed me that Herbert had entered the room. So, I presented Joe to Herbert, who held out his hand; but Joe backed from it, and held on by the birdโs-nest.
โYour servant, Sir,โ said Joe, โwhich I hope as you and Pipโโhere his eye fell on the Avenger, who was putting some toast on table, and so plainly denoted an intention to make that young gentleman one of the family, that I frowned it down and confused him moreโโI meantersay, you two gentlemen,โwhich I hope as you get your elths in this close spot? For the present may be a werry good inn, according to London opinions,โ said Joe, confidentially, โand I believe its character do stand it; but I wouldnโt keep a pig in it myself,โnot in the case that I wished him to fatten wholesome and to eat with a meller flavour on him.โ
Having borne this flattering testimony to the merits of our dwelling-place, and having incidentally shown this tendency to call me โsir,โ Joe, being invited to sit down to table, looked all round the room for a suitable spot on which to deposit his hat,โas if it were only on some very few rare substances in nature that it could find a resting place,โand ultimately stood it on an extreme corner of the chimney-piece, from which it ever afterwards fell off at intervals.
โDo you take tea, or coffee, Mr. Gargery?โ asked Herbert, who always presided of a morning.
โThankee, Sir,โ said Joe, stiff from head to foot, โIโll take whichever is most agreeable to yourself.โ
โWhat do you say to coffee?โ
โThankee, Sir,โ returned Joe, evidently dispirited by the proposal, โsince youย areย so kind as make chice of coffee, I will not run contrairy to your own opinions. But donโt you never find it a little โeating?โ
โSay tea then,โ said Herbert, pouring it out.
Here Joeโs hat tumbled off the mantel-piece, and he started out of his chair and picked it up, and fitted it to the same exact spot. As if it were an absolute point of good breeding that it should tumble off again soon.
โWhen did you come to town, Mr. Gargery?โ
โWere it yesterday afternoon?โ said Joe, after coughing behind his hand, as if he had had time to catch the whooping-cough since he came. โNo it were not. Yes it were. Yes. It were yesterday afternoonโ (with an appearance of mingled wisdom, relief, and strict impartiality).
โHave you seen anything of London yet?โ
โWhy, yes, Sir,โ said Joe, โme and Wopsle went off straight to look at the Blacking Wareโus. But we didnโt find that it come up to its likeness in the red bills at the shop doors; which I meantersay,โ added Joe, in an explanatory manner, โas it is there drawd too architectooralooral.โ
I really believe Joe would have prolonged this word (mightily expressive to my mind of some architecture that I know) into a perfect Chorus, but for his attention being providentially attracted by his hat, which was toppling. Indeed, it demanded from him a constant attention, and a quickness of eye and hand, very like that exacted by wicket-keeping. He made extraordinary play with it, and showed the greatest skill; now, rushing at it and catching it neatly as it dropped; now, merely stopping it midway, beating it up, and humouring it in various parts of the room and against a good deal of the pattern of the paper on the wall, before he felt it safe to close with it; finally splashing it into the slop-basin, where I took the liberty of laying hands upon it.
As to his shirt-collar, and his coat-collar, they were perplexing to reflect upon,โinsoluble mysteries both. Why should a man scrape himself to that extent, before he could consider himself full dressed? Why should he suppose it necessary to be purified by suffering for his holiday clothes? Then he fell into such unaccountable fits of meditation, with his fork midway between his plate and his mouth; had his eyes attracted in such strange directions; was afflicted with such remarkable coughs; sat so far from the table, and dropped so much more than he ate, and pretended that he hadnโt dropped it; that I was heartily glad when Herbert left us for the City.
I had neither the good sense nor the good feeling to know that this was all my fault, and that if I had been easier with Joe, Joe would have been easier with me. I felt impatient of him and out of temper with him; in which condition he heaped coals of fire on my head.
โUs two being now alone, sir,โโbegan Joe.
โJoe,โ I interrupted, pettishly, โhow can you call me, sir?โ
Joe looked at me for a single instant with something faintly like reproach. Utterly preposterous as his cravat was, and as his collars were, I was conscious of a sort of dignity in the look.
โUs two being now alone,โ resumed Joe, โand me having the intentions and abilities to stay not many minutes more, I will now concludeโleastways beginโto mention what have led to my having had the present honour. For was it not,โ said Joe, with his old air of lucid exposition, โthat my only wish were to be useful to you, I should not have had the honour of breaking wittles in the company and abode of gentlemen.โ
I was so unwilling to see the look again, that I made no remonstrance against this tone.
โWell, sir,โ pursued Joe, โthis is how it were. I were at the Bargemen tโother night, Pip;โโwhenever he subsided into affection, he called me Pip, and whenever he relapsed into politeness he called me sir; โwhen there come up in his shay-cart, Pumblechook. Which that same identical,โ said Joe, going down a new track, โdo comb my โair the wrong way sometimes, awful, by giving out up and down town as it were him which ever had your infant companionation and were looked upon as a playfellow by yourself.โ
โNonsense. It was you, Joe.โ
โWhich I fully believed it were, Pip,โ said Joe, slightly tossing his head, โthough it signify little now, sir. Well, Pip; this same identical, which his manners is given to blusterous, come to me at the Bargemen (wot a pipe and a pint of beer do give refreshment to the workingman, sir, and do not over stimilate), and his word were, โJoseph, Miss Havisham she wish to speak to you.โโ
โMiss Havisham, Joe?โ
โโShe wish,โ were Pumblechookโs word, โto speak to you.โโ Joe sat and rolled his eyes at the ceiling.
โYes, Joe? Go on, please.โ
โNext day, sir,โ said Joe, looking at me as if I were a long way off, โhaving cleaned myself, I go and I see Miss A.โ
โMiss A., Joe? Miss Havisham?โ
โWhich I say, sir,โ replied Joe, with an air of legal formality, as if he were making his will, โMiss A., or otherways Havisham. Her expression air then as follering: โMr. Gargery. You air in correspondence with Mr. Pip?โ Having had a letter from you, I were able to say โI am.โ (When I married your sister, sir, I said โI will;โ and when I answered your friend, Pip, I said โI am.โ) โWould you tell him, then,โ said she, โthat which Estella has come home and would be glad to see him.โโ
I felt my face fire up as I looked at Joe. I hope one remote cause of its firing may have been my consciousness that if I had known his errand, I should have given him more encouragement.
โBiddy,โ pursued Joe, โwhen I got home and asked her fur to write the message to you, a little hung back. Biddy says, โI know he will be very glad to have it by word of mouth, it is holiday time, you want to see him, go!โ I have now concluded, sir,โ said Joe, rising from his chair, โand, Pip, I wish you ever well and ever prospering to a greater and a greater height.โ
โBut you are not going now, Joe?โ
โYes I am,โ said Joe.
โBut you are coming back to dinner, Joe?โ
โNo I am not,โ said Joe.
Our eyes met, and all the โSirโ melted out of that manly heart as he gave me his hand.
โPip, dear old chap, life is made of ever so many partings welded together, as I may say, and one manโs a blacksmith, and oneโs a whitesmith, and oneโs a goldsmith, and oneโs a coppersmith. Diwisions among such must come, and must be met as they come. If thereโs been any fault at all to-day, itโs mine. You and me is not two figures to be together in London; nor yet anywheres else but what is private, and beknown, and understood among friends. It ainโt that I am proud, but that I want to be right, as you shall never see me no more in these clothes. Iโm wrong in these clothes. Iโm wrong out of the forge, the kitchen, or off thโ meshes. You wonโt find half so much fault in me if you think of me in my forge dress, with my hammer in my hand, or even my pipe. You wonโt find half so much fault in me if, supposing as you should ever wish to see me, you come and put your head in at the forge window and see Joe the blacksmith, there, at the old anvil, in the old burnt apron, sticking to the old work. Iโm awful dull, but I hope Iโve beat out something nigh the rights of this at last. And so GODย bless you, dear old Pip, old chap, GODย bless you!โ
I had not been mistaken in my fancy that there was a simple dignity in him. The fashion of his dress could no more come in its way when he spoke these words than it could come in its way in Heaven. He touched me gently on the forehead, and went out. As soon as I could recover myself sufficiently, I hurried out after him and looked for him in the neighbouring streets; but he was gone.