WEDNESDAY, JULY 24TH
24 DAYS UNTIL THE READ- A -THON
ASIDE FROM THEย radio silence about my Ocean City library application, Iโm having a streak of uncommonly good luck.
On Sunday, Miles surprised me and (a less than thrilled) Julia with a
drive down to a little town called North Bear Shores for a bookstore event with a romance writer Sadie had turned me on to years ago. After the signing, the shop owner and her geology professor wife ended up falling in love with Miles (obviously) and making a donation toward the Read-a-thon. On Monday, two childrenโs book authors agreed to send videos for Read-a-thon prizes, while a third offered to do a live video call with the
kids.
Tuesday, our monthly Fortnite tournament kicked off with our highest turnout ever, and today, when Maya dropped by the desk to pick up her holds, Iโd finally managed to convince her to come to next weekโs YA book club.
Mom screams with excitement when I tell her on our call as I walk home.
That or she accidentally drops some free weights close to her toes. โThatโs great, honey,โ she says. โI know that kidโs been a tough nut to
crack.โ
โSheโs justย soย shy. But the other kids in the group are really sweet,โ I say. โAnd a couple are homeschooled, so sheโs probably never met them, which could be good. A clean slate.โ
โGod, once, when you were having a hard time at a new school, I remember asking you if you wanted to be homeschooled,โ Mom says.
I snort. โWhen would you have had time toย homeschoolย me?โ
โI wouldnโt have,โ she says. โBut you were so unhappy at school. I didnโt know what to do. I wanted to just rescue you from your misery. Do you remember what you said to me?โ
โI never even remember homeschooling being on the table,โ I say.
โYou said youโd miss your teachers too much.โ She bursts into breathless laughter, which turns into a groan of exertion, followed by the clank of weights hitting the floor. โYou were shy, but you were brave.โ
โI was a little nerd, you can say it,โ I say.
โBack then they used to call it โa pleasure to have in class,โ โ she tells me.
My phone beeps and I step under an awning. โHold on a second,โ I tell her, blocking the glare to read the screen. โWhat theย hell?โ
โIs everything okay?โ Mom asks. โYep!โ I say too brightly.
Everythingโs great except that my dadโs trying to call me, and itโs not two weeks after a major holiday, when Iโd normally hear from him.
I fire a text his way:ย Sorry, on the phone.
He replies immediately, an extreme rarity:ย Gimme a call when you get a sec. Fun news.
Anxiety corkscrews through me.ย Fun news, in Jason Roberts Speak, is usually:ย Hey, Iโm dating a twenty-six-year-old!ย (Not for long.)
Or,ย I made a friend who owns a catamaran, so Iโm going out of the country for a while. Send you a postcard when I hit dry land!ย (He wonโt.)
โDaphne?โ Mom asks.
โEverythingโs fine.โ She and Dad arenโt mortal enemies or anything, but she stopped having contact with him pretty much the moment I turned eighteen, and as good as my mom is at empathizing, laughing through the shit storms in life, sheโs always gone out of her way toย notย trash Dad. For my sake, I know, but sometimes I just want her to stop being supermom and
just agree with me that heโs the worst. So mostly we just donโt talk about him.
โWell, look,โ she says. โIโm happy for you, and Iโm proud of you, and I love you.โ
โAnd you have to go?โ I autofill.
โI do,โ she says. โIโm going to the beach tomorrow with some friends, but talk next week?โ
โNo problem,โ I tell her. โLove you.โ
โLove you more,โ she says, hanging up before I can argue.
When I pass the taffy-green fairy-tale cottage, the morning glories vining around the picket fence are in full bloom, little birds cheeping from the branches like one more good omen.
On a whim, I check the online listing. The price has recently dropped fifty thousand dollars, but itโs still well beyond my real-life range. Still, it feels good to daydream.
To picture myself in a place like that. Hosting dinners and watching action movies. Grabbing chai from the cafรฉ up the street and filling vases with fresh-cut lavender. Drinking wine out back with friends during lightning bug season.
I can almost see it. I can almost see a life here.
โANY BIG PLANSย for your birthday?โ Harvey asks Ashleigh as we settle around the poker table several hours later with the others.
โItโs your birthday?โ I say. โWhen?โ
She groans. โA week from Saturday. Forty-three. Andย noย to big plans. It just so happens to fall on the weekend Mulder and I get back from visiting my mom in Sedona, so heโll be at his dadโs place, and Iโll be at home rotting my brain to the tune of Bravo reality TV.โ
โWhy would you be home?โ I say. โWeย should do something.โ Around her cigar, Lenore says, โYouโre not gonna win this battle.โ
โIโve always hated my birthday,โ Ashleigh explains. โItโs just one more reminder of how little progress Iโve made. Iโm in exactly the same spot I was this time last year. Looking at the same four walls in the same house in the same town, only minus a husband.โ
โOh, sweetie, thatโs not true at all!โ Barb pipes in. โYouย leftย a stagnant marriage. You started therapy. You got Mulder through a tough year, and now youโve broughtย Daphneย into our little circle!โ
โAnd itโs not a day to celebrate progress, anyway,โ I insist. โItโs a day to celebrateย existence. We have to do something.โ
โArenโt the roles a bit reversed here?โ Her brow arches. โIโmย the fun, take-charge one.โ
โYou are,โ I agree. โBut you canโtย Ashleighย yourself, so someone else has to.โ
โI donโt want to go out.โ She sticks out her bottom lip.
โThen we wonโt go out,โ I relent. โWhat if I come over and we paint?โ
Her face scrunches, an expression akin to disgust. โLike Bob Ross landscapes?โ
โLike a room,โ I say. โIn your house. You said Duke never wanted you to, right? And youโre tired of looking at the same four walls. So pick a wall color, and Iโll come help paint.โ
โIโmย terribleย at painting,โ she says. โI get too impatient and fuck up the โcut-in.โ โ
โWell, youโre in luck, because Iโmย amazingย at the cut-in,โ I say. She snorts. โYou would be.โ
โIโm not insulted by that,โ I tell her.
She considers for a beat. โSo youโll come do all the hard parts, and Iโll pour the wine,ย whileย we watch the housewives throw drinks and scream โjust own itโ at each other?โ
โSure,โ I say. โAnyone else want in?โ
Lenore guffaws. โIโm good, but you girls enjoy yourselves.โ Harvey and Barb nod agreement.
โOkay, Vincent,โ Ashleigh says after a moment of consideration. โSaturday night after next. Iโll pick a color. You wear your adorable
friendship-montage overalls.โ โI donโt have those,โ I say.
โWell, youโve got all week.โ
โI know a great farm supply store,โ Barb offers helpfully.
โNow, can we please get to the cards?โ Harvey says. โIโm feeling lucky tonight.โ
And he is pretty lucky that night. He wins six hands. I win the game.
WE GET RAINEDย out on Sunday. Miles didnโt tell usย whatย we were supposed to do, only that it requires good weather. โThink you could call off on Thursday?โ he asks me as weโre making our respective tea and coffee in the kitchen. Ordinarily, Iโd hate to call off, but with Ashleigh out all week, workโs been a little boring, and there isnโt much on the libraryโs calendar that day, so I give in.
I still wake up at seven, even without an alarm, and decide to ease into my day reading and sipping iced tea at one of Fikaโs sidewalk tables. On a whim, I order matcha and like it more than I expected, but still decide to go back in for my usual before walking home.
The thoroughly facial-pierced barista looks up and calls brightly, โYouโre back!โ
โI am,โ I say.
โAnother matcha?โ he says. โOr iced chai with milk?โ
โChai, please,โ I say. โPlus an iced miel, and an iced hazelnut latte.โ โBig day?โ he teases.
โFor my roommates,โ I say.
โGot it.โ Heโs scribbling my name on all three cups, without asking for it. I feel an embarrassing amount of pride at having become a regular someplace new, on my own.
โHow much do I owe you?โ I ask when he brings the finished drinks to me.
โOn the house today,โ he says. โWhat? Are you sure?โ I ask.
He looks around, then leans in. โMy manager isnโt here, thereโs no one in line behind you to demand their own free drinks, and youโre a good tipper. Iโm sure.โ
โWell, thanks.โ I stuff the ten-dollar bill in my handโpart of last Wednesday nightโs winningsโinto the jar.
โJonah,โ he puts in, without me asking. โThanks, Jonah,โ I say.
He beams. โHave a good day, Daphne.โ
On my walk home, my dad tries to call me and I accidentally hang up. I forgot to call him back last week, which isnโt like me. But itโs not like him to call me, period.
At this point, weโre sustaining more of aย casual texts every few months
kind of relationship.
At a stoplight, I text him:ย Sorry, can I call you back in just a few?ย Iโm terrible at multitasking even when the two tasks at hand arenโt as demanding as (a) navigating small talk with my semiestranged father and
(b) navigating crowds of ice-cream-sandwich-carrying out-of-towners zigzagging in every direction.
No need, Dad replies.ย Just wanted to confirm the address your mom gave me.
So heโs mailing me something. Right when Iโve finally started clearing out the wedding junk.
If this surprise package is anything like Dadโs last few, I can look forward to an intriguing assortment of miracle-cure vitamins, essential oils, and weed gummies Iย did notย ask for and likely are an actual crime to mail. For good measure, sometimes he throws in something vaguely nostalgic but ultimately misguided. Like a yellow snow hat he found in his attic and is convinced belonged to me as a kid.
In that case, I so thoroughly did not recognize the hat that the only logical explanation was: it belonged to whoever owned the house before Dad, and since he could only afford the place due to the fact that aย violent
crimeย had been committed there, youโd better believe that hat went straight into the trash.
I did, however, briefly burn the sage he sent me, in the general vicinity of the trash can, before tossing it in after the snow cap. I figure we reached net-zero on that particular โgift.โ
Inside our apartment building, I check my phone again. The address Dad sent for confirmation is, in fact, Milesโs place. Still, I dial his number as Iโm trudging upstairs, determined to talk him out of sending me anything.
The call rings out. I try once more. A message prompts me to leave a voice mail as I reach our door.
After the beep, I say, โHey, Dad.โ My key jams in the lock, and it takes some wiggling to get it to turn. โSorry I missed you. Just give me a call back whenโโ
The door swings open.
Iย donโt open it.
Someone on the other side does.
A middle-aged woman with a 1960s-esque beehive and cleavage to her chin.
She looks every bit as surprised to seeย meย coming into my apartment as I am to seeย herย already standing inside it.
โDaphne!โ she shouts, with pure ecstasy.
โHiiii,โ I say, trying furiously to place her and gettingย nowhere.
My dad steps out of the kitchen, into view, slipping one hand over the womanโs shoulder. โHey, kid,โ he says. โSurprise!โ





