Sweat dampened my skin as I dipped down and spun, the long, thick braid of hair whipping around me. I kicked out, and my bare foot connected with the side of Vikterโs shin. Caught off guard, he staggered to the side as I shot up beside him. He started to strike back but froze. His gaze dropped to where I held the dagger to his throat.
The corners of his lips turned down. I smiled. โI win.โ
โItโs not about winning, Poppy.โ
โItโs not?โ I lowered the dagger, stepping back. โItโs about surviving.โ
โIsnโt that winning, though?โ
He shot me a sidelong glance as he dragged his arm over his forehead. โI suppose you can look at it that way, but itโs never a game.โ
โI know that.โ I sheathed the dagger at my thigh. Dressed in a pair of thick leggings and an old tunic of Vikterโs, I walked across the stone floor toward an old, wooden table. I picked up the glass of water and took a long drink. If I could dress like this all day, every day, Iโd be a happy girl. โBut if it were a game, I still wouldโve won.โ
โYou only got the upper hand twice, Poppy.โ
โYes, but both of those times, I wouldโve sliced your neck. You got the upper hand three times, but they wouldโve been nothing more than flesh wounds.โ
โFlesh wounds?โ He barked out a short, rare laugh. โOnly you would think disembowelment a paltry flesh wound. Youโre such a poor loser.โ
โI thought this wasnโt a game?โ He scoffed.
Grinning, I shrugged as I faced him. Dust danced in the sunlight that poured through the open windows. The glass had long since been removed, and the room was either drafty and near frigid in the winter, or unbearably
hot in the summer. But no one ever checked for us here, so the extreme temperature variances were more than manageable.
It was the morning after Rylanโs funeral, too early for much of the castle to be moving about. Nearly all the staff and the strongholdโs inhabitants followed the schedule of the Ascended, and the servants, as well as the Duke and Duchess, believed that I was still abed. Only Tawny knew where I was. Rylan hadnโt even known, as Vikter always had morning duties with me.
โHow is your head feeling?โ he asked. โFine.โ
He arched a fair brow. โAre you telling the truth?โ
A faint, bluish-purple bruise over my temple was all that remained. The skin around my mouth was no longer red. There was a superficial cut along the inside of my cheek that any amount of salt seemed to find its way into, but other than that, Iย wasย fine. Not that I would admit it, but Vikter suggesting I take it easy and rest yesterday probably had a lot to do with that.
After Rylanโs funeral, Iโd spent the day in my chambers, reading one of the books Tawny had brought to me. It was a tale of two lovers, star- crossed yet fated. The title had fallen in the Things Penellaphe is Forbidden to Read pile, which was pretty much everything that didnโt involve some sort of educational material or the teachings of the gods. Iโd finished the novel last evening, and I wondered if Tawny could bring me another. It was doubtful. Preparation for the upcoming Rite was consuming much of her spare time. Whenever Tawny couldnโt bring a book for me to read, I would simply sneak into the Atheneum and help myself. Plus, with the attempted kidnapping and what had happened to Malessa, I didnโt want her out there roaming around.
Which meant I also shouldnโt be roaming around unguarded, but the Atheneum wasnโt too far. Just a few blocks beyond the castle and easily accessible through the Grove. Disguised, no one would know that I was the Maiden, but it still felt too risky and dumb to do something like that so quickly after the attack.
โIt hurt a little last night, but not since I woke up.โ I paused. โThe man had a weak punch.โ
Vikter snorted as he approached me, sliding his short sword into its scabbard. โDid you sleep well?โ
I considered lying. โDo I look like I havenโt slept?โ
He stopped in front of me. โYou rarely ever sleep well. I imagine what happened with Rylan has exacerbated your already poor sleeping patterns.โ
โAw, are you worried about me?โ I teased. โYouโre such a good father.โ
His expression turned bland. โStop deflecting, Poppy.โ โWhy? Iโm so good at it.โ
โBut youโre actually not.โ
Rolling my eyes, I sighed. โIt took a while to fall asleep, but I havenโt had a nightmare in a while.โ
Vikterโs gaze searched mine as if trying to determine whether I was lyingโand the man probably could. I wasnโt lyingโฆexactly. I hadnโt had a night terror since I went to the Red Pearl, and I wasnโt sure why that was.
Perhaps falling asleep thinking about what had happened in the Red Pearl had somehow switched the gears of my brain away from past trauma. If so, I wasnโt going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
โWho do you think will replace Rylan?โ I changed the subject before he could continue down that road of questioning.
โIโm not sure, but I assume it will be decided fairly soon.โ
My mind immediately went to Hawke, even though he couldnโt possibly be in the running, not when there were so many others from the Rise whoโd been here longer. But the question sort of toppled out of me anyway. โDo you think it would be the one who came from the capital recently? The guard who stood by my side at the funeral?โ
Who assured me that I wouldnโt be hurt again?
โYouโre talking about Hawke?โ Vikter asked, securing his other sword. โOh, is that his name?โ
He lifted his gaze to mine. โYouโre a terrible liar.โ
โAm not!โ I frowned. โWhat am I supposedly lying about?โ โYou didnโt know his name?โ
Praying that my flushing cheeks didnโt give me away, I folded my arms over my chest. โWhy would I?โ
โEvery woman in this city knows his name.โ โWhat does that have to do with anything?โ
His lips twitched as if he were fighting a smile. โHeโs a very handsome young man, or so Iโve been told, and thereโs nothing wrong with you taking notice of him.โ He glanced away. โAs long as that is all you do.โ
My cheeks did flush hotly then because I had done far more than simply take notice of Hawke. โWhen exactly would I have had a chance to do anything other than take notice, which is, might I remind you, strictly forbidden?โ
Vikter laughed once more, and my frown increased. โWhen has something being forbidden ever stopped you?โ
โThatย is different,โ I said, wondering if the gods would strike me down for so blatantly lying. โAnd when would I even have a chance to do something like that?โ
โIโm actually glad you brought that up. Your little adventures will need to come to an end.โ
My stomach jumped. โI have no idea what youโre talking about.โ
He ignored that. โI havenโt said much in the past about you and Tawny sneaking off, but after what happened in the garden, that has to end.โ
I snapped my mouth shut.
โDid you think I didnโt know?โ His smile was slow and smug. โIโm watching even when you think Iโm not.โ
โWell, that isโฆcreepy.โ I didnโt even want to know if he knew that Iโd been to the Red Pearl.
โCreepy or not, just remember what I said the next time you think of sneaking out in the middle of the night.โ Before I could respond, he said, โAnd regarding Hawke, I would say that his age would make him becoming your personal guard doubtful.โ
โBut?โ My heart started thumping, and I was barely aware of Vikter taking the glass from me.
โBut he is exceptionally skilled, more so than many of the Royal Guards now. I wasnโt stroking his ego yesterday when I said that. He came here, held in high regard by the capital, and he appears to be close to Commander Jansen.โ He finished off my glass of water. โI wouldnโt be all that surprised if heย wasย promoted over others.โ
Now my heart was slamming itself against my ribs. โButโฆbut to becomeย myย personal guard? Surely, someone who is more familiar with the city would be a better fit.โ
โActually, someone new and less likely to be complacent would be the best,โ he said. โHe would see things differently than many of us whoโve been here for years or longer. See weaknesses and threats we may overlook
out of monotony. And he showed yesterday that he has no problem stepping up while everyone else stood by.โ
All of that made sense, butโฆbut he couldnโt become my personal Royal Guard. If he did, Iโd have to speak to him eventually, and if I did that, heโd recognize me at some point.
And then what?
If he was close to the Commander and determined to rise through the ranks, he would be sure to report me. After all, the highest-ranking guards who had a chance of living to see a well-funded retirement, were the Royal Guards who protected the Duke and Duchess of Masadonia.
During the day, when the sun was high, the Great Hall, where the weekly City Councils and grand celebrations were held, was one of the most beautiful rooms in the entire castle.
Windows taller than most of the homes in the city were spaced every twenty feet or so, allowing the warm, bright sun to drench the polished white limestone walls and floors. The windows offered views of the gardens to the left and the Temples atop the Undying Hills.
Heavy white tapestries hung the length of the windows and in between them. The golden Royal Crest embossed the center of each banner. Creamy white pillars adorned with flecks of gold and silver were spaced throughout the long, wide chamber. White and purple jasmine flowers climbed out of silver urns, perfuming the air with their sweet, earthy scent.
The hand-painted ceiling was the true masterpiece of the Great Hall. Above, all the gods could be seen watching over us. Ione and Rhahar. The flaming redheaded Aios, the Goddess of Love, Fertility, and Beauty. Saion, the dark-skinned God of the Sky and the Soilโhe was Earth, Wind, and Water. Beside him was Theon, the God of Accord and War, and his twin Lailah, the Goddess of Peace and Vengeance. The dark-haired Goddess of the Hunt, Bele, armed with her bow. There was Perus, the pale, white- haired God of the Rite and Prosperity. Beside him was Rhain, the God of the Common Man and Endings. And then there was my namesake, Penellaphe, the Goddess of Wisdom, Loyalty, and Dutyโwhich I found
highly ironic. All their faces were captured in striking, vivid detailโall but Nyktos, the King of all the gods, who had made the first Blessing. His face and form were nothing but brilliant silvery moonlight.
But as I stood on the raised dais to the left of the seated Duchess, there was no sunlight pouring in through the windows, only the dark night. Several sconces and oil lamps placed to provide as much light as possible cast a golden glow throughout the Hall.
The gods did not walk in the sun. So, neither did the Ascended.
How had Ian adapted to that? If it was a sunny day, he could be found outside, scribbling in one of his journals, recording whatever stories his mind had drummed up. Did he now write in the moonlight? I would know sooner rather than later if I was summoned back to the capital.
Anxiety bloomed, and I pushed that thought aside before the unease could spread. I scanned the throng of people who had filled up the Great Hall, pretending that I wasnโt searching for one face in particular, and failing miserably.
I knew Hawke was here. He always was, but I hadnโt seen him yet.
Full of nervous energy, I unclasped and then wrung my hands as someoneโa bankerโcontinued to heap praise upon the Teermans.
โYou all right?โ Vikter bent his head, keeping his voice low enough so only I would hear him.
I turned just the slightest to the left and nodded. โWhy do you ask?โ โBecause youโve been fidgeting like you have spiders in your gown
since the beginning of this,โ he answered.
Spiders in my gown?
If I had spiders in my gown, I wouldnโt be fidgeting. Iโd be screaming and stripping down to nothing. I wouldnโt care at all who witnessed it.
I wasnโt sure exactly what had me so incredibly restless. Well, there were myriad things, considering everything that had happened recently, but it felt likeโฆmore than that.
It had started after Iโd left Vikter, a brief headache I attributed to the punch and possibly overdoing it during training. Not that I would admit that, but after lunch, it had faded, only to be replaced by a wealth of nervous energy. It reminded me of the blend of coffee beans Ian had shipped from the capital. Tawny and I had only drunk half a cup, and neither of us could sit still for the entire day afterward.
Making a more conscious effort to remain still, my gaze shifted to the left, to the gardens, where Iโd found such peace before. My chest ached. I hadnโt gone to the gardens last night or at any time today. The area hadnโt been forbidden to me, but I knew if I stepped foot outside, I would be surrounded by guards.
I couldnโt even imagine how the upcoming Rite would go.
But I didnโt think I could ever go back to the gardens, no matter how much I loved them and the roses therein. Even now, just looking at the shadowy outline of the garden through the windows brought forth an image of Rylanโs blank stare.
Drawing in a shallow breath, I pulled my attention from the garden to the front of the Hall. Members of the Court, those who had Ascended, stood the closest, flanking the dais. Behind them were the Ladies and Lords in Wait. Royal Guards stood among them, their shoulders bearing white mantles with the Royal Crest. Merchants and businessmen, villagers and laborers crowded the hall, all there to petition the Court for one thing or another, air their grievances, or curry favor with His or Her Grace.
Plenty of the faces that stared up at us were wide-eyed and slack-jawed with awe. For some, this was the first time theyโd seen the brown-haired beauty, Duchess Teerman, or the coolly handsome Duke, whose hair was so blond it was almost white. For many, this was the first time theyโd been as close as they were to an Ascended.
They looked like they were in the presence of the gods themselves, and in a way, I guessed they were. The Ascended were descendants of the gods, by blood, if not by birth.
And then there wasโฆme.
Nearly none of the commoners who stood in the Great Hall had ever seen the Maiden before. For that alone, I was subjected to many curious, quick glances. I imagined that word of Malessaโs death and my attempted abduction had also traveled widely by now, and I was sure that had aided in the curiosity and the buzz of anxious energy that seemed to permeate the Hall.
Except for Tawny. She looked half-asleep as she stood there, and I bit down on the inside of my cheek when she smothered a yawn. Weโd been here for nearly two hours already, and I wondered if the Teermansโ asses ached as much as my feet were beginning to.
Probably not.
Both looked mighty comfortable. The Duchess was dressed in yellow silk, and even I could admit that the Duke cut a rather dashing figure in his black trousers and tailcoat.
He always reminded me of the pale snake Iโd once stumbled upon near the beach as a little girl. Beautiful to look upon, but its bite dangerous and often deadly.
Swallowing a sigh as the banker began to speak of their great leadership, I started to look toward the Templesโ
I saw him.
Hawke.
A strange, funny little hitch took up residence in my chest at the sight of him. He stood between two pillars, arms folded across his broad chest. Like yesterday, there was no teasing half-grin on his face, and his features wouldโve been considered severe if it werenโt for the unruly strands of midnight-hued hair tumbling over his forehead, softening his expression.
A tingling sense of awareness swept down my spine, spreading tiny bumps all over my skin. Hawkeโs gaze was lifted to the dais, to where I stood, and even from across the hall and from behind the veil, I swore our gazes connected. Air whooshed from my lungs, and the entire Hall seemed to fade away, going silent as we stared at one another.
My heart thumped heavily as my hands spasmed open and then closed. He was staring at me, but so were a lot of others. Even the Ascended often stared.
I was a curiosity, a sideshow put on display once a week to serve as a reminder that the gods could actively intervene in births and in lives.
But my legs still felt strange, and my pulse fluttered as if Iโd spent the last hour practicing different combat techniques with Vikter.
Magnus, a steward to the Duke, announced the next to speak, drawing my attention. โMr. and Mrs. Tulis have requested a word, Your Graces.โ
Dressed in simple but clean clothing, the fair-headed couple stepped out from a grouping of those waiting toward the back. The husband had his arm around his shorter wifeโs shoulders, keeping her tucked close to his side. Hair pulled back from her bloodless face, the woman wore no jewels but held a small swaddled bundle in her arms. The bundle stirred as they approached the dais, little arms and legs stretching the pale blue blanket. Their gazes were fixed to the floor, heads bowed slightly. They didnโt look up, not until the Duchess gave them permission to do so.
โYou may speak,โ she said, her voice hauntingly feminine and endlessly soft. She sounded like someone whoโd never raised their voice or hand in anger. Neither were untrue, and for what had to be the hundredth time, I wondered exactly what she and the Duke had in common. I couldnโt remember the last time Iโd even seen them touch one anotherโnot as if that was necessary for the Ascended to marry.
Unlike others, Mr. and Mrs. Tulis clearly shared a wealth of feelings for one another. It was the way Mr. Tulis held his wife close, and in the way she lifted her gaze, first to him and then to the Duchess.
โThank you.โ The wifeโs nervous gaze darted to the male Royal. โYour Grace.โ
Duke Teerman tilted his head in acknowledgement. โIt is our pleasure,โ he told her. โWhat can we do for you and your family?โ
โWe are here to present our son,โ she explained, turning so the bundle faced the dais. The little face was creased and ruddy as he blinked large eyes.
The Duchess leaned forward, hands remaining clasped in her lap. โHe is darling. What is his name?โ
โTobias,โ the father answered. โHe takes after my wife, as cute as a button, if I dare say so myself, Your Grace.โ
My lips curled into a grin.
โThat he is.โ The Duchess nodded. โI do hope all is well with you and the babe?โ
โIt is. Iโm perfectly healthy, just like him, and heโs been a joy, a true blessing.โ Mrs. Tulis straightened, holding the baby close to her breast. โWe love him very much.โ
โIs he your first son?โ the Duke asked.
Mr. Tulisโs Adamโs apple bobbed with a swallow. โNo, Your Grace, he isnโt. Heโs our third son.โ
The Duchess clapped her hands together. โThen Tobias is a true blessing, one who will receive the honor of serving the gods.โ
โThatโs why weโre here, Your Grace.โ The man slipped his arm from around his wife. โOur first sonโour dear Jamieโheโฆhe passed no more than three months ago.โ Mr. Tulis cleared his throat. โIt was a sickness of the blood, the Healers told us. It came on real quick, you see. One day, he was fine, chasing around and getting into all kinds of trouble. And then the
following morning, he didnโt wake up. He lingered for a few days, but he left us.โ
โIโm incredibly sorry to hear that.โ Sorrow filled the Duchessโs voice as she settled back in her seat. โAnd what of the second son?โ
โWe lost him to the same sickness that took Jamie.โ The mother began to tremble. โNo more than a year into his life.โ
Theyโd lost two sons? My heart was already aching for them. Even with the loss Iโd experienced in my life, I couldnโt even begin to understand the kind of anguish a parent must suffer when they lose a child, let alone two. If I felt it, I knew I would want to do something about it, and I couldnโt. Not here. I locked down my gift.
โThat is truly a tragedy. I hope you find solace in the knowledge that your dear Jamie is with the gods, along with your second born.โ
โWe do. Itโs whatโs gotten us through his loss.โ Mrs. Tulis gently rocked the baby. โWe come today to hope, to askโฆ.โ She trailed off, seeming unable to finish.
It was her husband who took over for her. โWe came here today to ask that our son not be considered for the Rite when he comes of age.โ
A rolling gasp echoed through the chamber, coming from all sides at once.
Mr. Tulisโs shoulders stiffened, but he forged ahead. โI know that itโs a lot to ask of you and the gods. He is our third son, but we lost our first two, and my wife, as much as she desires more babes, the Healers said she shouldnโt have more. He is our only remaining child. He will be our last.โ
โBut he is still your third son,โ the Duke responded, and my chest hollowed. โWhether your first thrived or not doesnโt change that your second son and now your third are fated to serve the gods.โ
โBut we have no other child, Your Grace.โ Mrs. Tulisโs lower lip trembled as her chest rose and fell rapidly. โIf I were to get pregnant, I could die. Weโโ
โI understand that.โ The tone of the Dukeโs voice didnโt change. โAnd you do understand that while weโve been given great power and authority by the gods, the issue of the Rite is not something we can change.โ
โBut you can speak with the gods.โ Mr. Tulis moved to step closer but drew up short when several Royal Guards shifted forward.
A low murmur rose from the audience. I glanced to where Hawke stood. He was watching what I believed to be the Tulisesโ third tragedy play
out before us, his jaw as hard as the limestone around us. Did he have a second or third brother or sister whoโd been given over to the Rite? One who may go on to serve the Court and receive the Blessing from the gods, and another he would never be able to see again?
โYou can speak with the gods on our behalf. Couldnโt you?โ Mr. Tulis asked, his voice rough like sand. โWe are good people.โ
โPlease.โ Tears rolled down the motherโs face, and my fingers itched to reach out and touch her, to ease her pain even if for a little while. โWe beg of you to at least try. We know the gods are merciful. We have prayed to Aios and Nyktos every morning and every night for this gift. All we ask is thatโโ
โWhat you ask cannot be granted. Tobias is your third son, and this is the natural order of things,โ the Duchess stated. A piercing sob left the woman. โI know itโs hard, and it hurts now, but your son is a gift to the gods, not a gift from them. That is why we would never ask that of them.โ
Why not? What harm could there be in asking? Surely, there were enough in service to the gods that one boy would not upset the natural order of things.
And besides, some exceptions had been made in the past. My brother was proof of that.
Many in the audience appeared rooted in shock as if they could not believe the audacity of what was being asked. There were others, though, whose faces were soaked in sympathy and marked with anger. Their stares were fixed on the daisโon Duke and Duchess Teermanโand on me.
โPlease. I beg of you. I beg.โ The father dropped to his knees, his hands folded as if in prayer.
I gasped, my chest squeezing. I wasnโt sure how it happened or why, but my control over my gift snapped, and my senses opened. I sucked in a sharp breath as grief poured into me in icy waves. The potency shook my knees, and I could barely breathe around it.
A moment later, I felt Vikterโs hand on my back, and I knew he was prepared to grab me in case I went to them. It took everything in me to stand there and do nothing.
Tearing my gaze away from Mr. Tulis, I forced out deep, even breaths. My wide eyes roamed the crowd as I pictured a wall in my mind, one as great as the Rise, so tall and thick that no oneโs pain could breach it. That
had always worked in the past, and it worked now. The claws of sorrow loosened their grip, butโ
My gaze snagged on a blond man. He stood several rows back, his chin bowed, and much of his face obscured by the curtain of hair that fell forward. I feltโฆsomethingย burning through the wall Iโd built, but it didnโt quite feel like anguish. It felt hot, like physical pain, but this wasโฆit was bitter-tasting in the back of my throat as if Iโd swallowed acid. He had to be in pain, butโฆ
Unnerved, I closed my eyes and rebuilt the wall until all I felt was the pounding of my heart. After a few seconds, I was able to take a deeper, stronger breath, and finally, the strange sensation disappeared. I opened my eyes as the father pleaded.
โPlease. We love our son,โ he cried. โWe want to raise him to be a good man, toโโ
โHe will be raised in the Temples of Rhahar and Ione, where he will be cared for while in service to the gods as it has been done since the first Blessing.โ The Dukeโs voice brooked no argument, and the womanโs sobs deepened. โThrough us, the gods protect each and every one of you from the horrors outside the Rise. From what comes in the mist. And all we must do is provide them with service. Are you willing to anger the gods to keep a child at home, to grow old or possibly sicken and die?โ
Mr. Tulis shook his head, his face draining of all color. โNo, Your Grace, we would not want to risk that, but heโs our sonโ
โThat is what you ask, though.โ The Duke cut him off. โIn one month from his birth, you will give him to the High Priests, and you will be honored to do so.โ
Unable to look at the tear-stricken faces any longer, I closed my eyes once more and wished I could somehow drown out the sounds of their heartbreak. However, even if I could, I wouldnโt forget them. And, truthfully, I needed to hear their pain. I needed to bear witness to it and remember. Serving the gods in the Temples was an honor, but this was still a loss.
โCease the tears,โ the Duchess implored. โYou know that this is right and what the gods have requested.โ
But this didnโt feel right. What harm would come in asking for one child to remain at home with his parents? To grow, to live, and to become a useful member of society? Neither the Duke nor the Duchess would bend to
grant such a simple favor. How could anyone mortal be unmoved by the motherโs pleas, her cries, and her husbandโs desolate hopelessness?
But I already knew the answer to that. The Ascended were no longer mortal.