Red wished for the sound of static, to cover the awful silence in the RV, and that high-pitched ringing in her ears, two-tone, like the doorbell. Could anyone else hear it? Was anyone else struggling to breathe?โ
โWhat are you talking about?โ Oliver asked her, brows drawing together, a shadow across his eyes, hiding the ๏ฌre in them.
โShe was th-there,โ Red stammered. โI heard her. Maybe you donโt know this, but my mom called me, only ten minutes before she was killed, thatโs what the police told me.โ Her breath was too loud, like a windstorm trapped in her head, pushing at the backs of her eyes. She hadnโt said any of this out loud for years, sheโd lived alone in the guilt and the shame ever since. โMy mom tried to tell me something on that phone call, she asked me to tell my dad something. But we were in a ๏ฌght, I was mad at her, I was so mad at her, and I canโt even really remember why now. But I hung up on her. I told her I hated her and I hung up on her. Thatโs the last thing I ever said to her, to Mom, and then she died. It was my fault, because maybe the thing she needed to tell me, maybe that would have been the thing that saved her. Sheโd still be alive if I hadnโtโฆโ
And it wasnโt the part of the story Red was supposed to be telling, but she couldnโt not, it had sat inside her for so long, festering, a new organ that she
needed to keep on living, to remind her every day what she did. Hers and hers alone, her responsibility. But now the rest of them knew too, all eyes on her, and the world couldnโt break any more than it already had. No more secrets, not even this, the worst thing sheโd ever done.
Red blinked and one tear escaped before she could catch it. โAnd on that last phone call, I heard a doorbell sound in the background. Twice, before it stopped.โ She sni๏ฌed. โThe police told me it was impossible, because my mom was found in that abandoned power station on the waterfront, nowhere near any houses. But I always knew I heard it. It was this.โ She gestured with her phone, raising it up. โIt was a ringtone, your momโs ringtone for Maddy. She was there, behind my mom. My mom said โHelloโ to her, and then I hung up before she could tell me what she needed to.โ Redโs eyes fell to Maddy, her face rearranging. โYour mom was there. You must have called her when she was there. Why did she never say she was there? Mom was dead within ten minutes, so your mom, I donโtโฆโ
Simonโs head dropped into his hands, sucking at the air between his ๏ฌngers.
Arthur looked across at Red, eyes wide behind his glasses, arm shifting at his side like he might reach out to wrap it around her, hide her away.
โWhat?โ Oliver snorted, shattering the teeming silence, the wicked smile back on his face. Did Catherine ever smile like that, Red tried to think. โNow youโre trying to tell me that my mom is the one who killed your mom? They were best friends, Red. Donโt be so stupid. And on what evidence? A sound you think you heard when you were thirteen, a child? Youโre wrong. The police told you you were wrong. My mom wasnโt there.โ
โMom was investigating the organized crime group when she died,โ Red said, the words coming out as she thought them. โYour family, Arthur. Maybe she realized there was a leak from the DAโs o๏ฌce, maybe she ๏ฌgured out that it was Catherโโ
โDo you hear yourself?โ Oliver roared, and yes she did, and she wasnโt going to tiptoe around that look in his eyes anymore. Because if she was right, if she was rightโฆโMy mom wasnโt there!โ he shouted.
Red was about to speak, to push back, the words right there in her throat, wrestling past her out-of-place heart. But a new sound stopped her before she could. A howl, wretched and raw, from Maddy, her face cracking in two as tears slipped from her eyes, fast and free.
โWhat is it?โ Reyna asked, keeping the pressure on the wound. โDoes it hurt?โ
But Maddy wasnโt looking at her, she was looking at Red. She shrieked again, shoulders buckling with it, teeth bared, tears trickling into her open mouth.
Oliver stared blankly at his sister. โMaddy?โ Red said, stepping toward her.
โIt was her,โ Maddy cried, her head nodding in minute movements against the refrigerator. โIโI, sheโฆshe wasnโt home that evening. Thatโs why I called her. I called her but she didnโt pick up, went to voicemail after two rings.โ Her hand shuddered as she raised it to wipe one side of her face, leaving a new smear of blood there, mixing with the tears. โDad and Oliver were out of town, away for one of Oliverโs chess tournaments. I got home after my violin lesson and Mom wasnโt there. She wasnโt. She didnโt get home until past eight-thirty, said sheโd been working late. Iโd already eaten, leftovers from the weekend.โ Maddy cried even harder, the words thick and misshapen in her mouth.
Red couldnโt move. What did Maddy mean,ย it was her? She watched her best friend and she couldnโt move, couldnโt breathe, in case that made it true or not true, and Red didnโt know which was worse.
โAnd I remember, Mom said she hadnโt eaten, but I remember, I remember, I said to her, โBut youโve got sauce there, on your shirt.โ โ Maddy choked on the words. โIt was tiny, but she went and got changed as soon as I said it. I never saw that shirt again, she must have thrown it away.โ She stopped, spluttering over the tears that just kept coming as she told her story, ๏ฌve yearsโ worth of un-cried tears. โAnd then the next day, I found out what happened to your mom, Red. That sheโd been killed. Shot. Iโm so, so sorry. And thenโฆโ Her voice cracked. โIt was all so confusing. Because Mom was saying that she was home at seven that night, that she made dinner for both of
us. She didnโt, itโs not what happened, but she kept saying it, to me, to Dad. But thatโs not what happened. I called her. The unanswered call was right there in my call log. Why would I have called her around seven if she was at home with me?โ Maddy shuddered, wiping the other side of her face. โBut I checked again a few days later and the call had been deleted from my log. It wasnโt there. And Mom just kept saying the same thing over and over. She got home at seven, right around the time I got in from violin. She made dinner for us both and we watched TV. It was a normal evening. And I couldnโt understand why she was lying. But then I started to think that maybe I was wrong, maybe I was confused about which day it was, because she seemed so sure, and why would she lie? And the call wasnโt there on my phone anymore. She confused me, Red.โ Maddy blinked, trying to look at her through swollen, red eyes. โI wasnโt sure. I wasnโt sure, but Iโve had this bad, bad feeling all along that something happened that evening. But maybe I was wrong, confused. Half of me wanted to believe her. Iโm so sorry, Red. Iโm so, so sorry.โ
The last word broke apart as Maddy bawled, an awful end-of-the-world sound, her face folding in half, eyes pressed shut against the tears.
Red watched her. She didnโt move, held in place by the too-hot air, thickening around her in this metal can.
It was Catherine Lavoy. Catherine Lavoy murdered her mom. Made her get on her knees. Shot her twice in the back of the head with her own service weapon. It was Catherine. Momโs best friend.
Red felt ๏ฌngers on her shoulder, squeezing hard, but there was no one there, because it was Catherine, dressed in black, gripping onto her as the ri๏ฌes boomed around them at the funeral, splitting the sky in half.
Catherine.
And MaddyโฆMaddy knew. This whole time. Since the day it had happened, the day the world ended around her, February 6, 2017. Maddy knew and she never said anything, in ๏ฌve long years.
It all made sense now, all of it. The way Maddy ๏ฌinched whenever the wordย momย was said in front of Red. Because she knew what had happened to her. She might have had doubts, but she knew, deep down, she knew who had
taken Redโs mom away. Maddy always took care of Red, paid for her lunch when Red couldnโt, found her lost things, so many lost things over the years, mothered her, all because she knew. Her job, her responsibility.
That was the strange look in Maddyโs eyes from before, the one Red couldnโt recognize. And this was her secret, the one she thought someone might kill for.
Maddy knew.
โIโm so sorry,โ Maddy sobbed, repeating the words over and over, until Reyna had to hold her down. โIโm so sorry.โ
The ri๏ฌe must have gone o๏ฌ, because there was a hole there in Redโs chest, blood pooling through her dark red shirt. But there wasnโt. She looked down. There wasnโt. But her body didnโt believe her, caving in around the wound, rib by rib. Red bent double, agony as her bones cracked in half, cutting through her skin, every piece of the puzzle coming undone. Maddy was howling again, but no, it was closer than that. It was her. A red, guttural sound in her throat, pushing out her eyes.
โNo!โ Red cried, and it was happening all over again, Mom dying a thousand times in every half second, the world blowing apart and stitching up wrong. โNo!โ
Red screamed, her hands balling into ๏ฌsts, the hard ridge of her knuckles pressing into her face, marking her skin. Five years of not knowing, not knowing who killed her mom so it could only have been Red, murdering her with those last words. But now she knew. She had the answer. And she was coming undone with it.
Red staggered sideways, one leg buckling beneath her. Someone caught her.
Arthur.
His hands under her elbows, keeping her on her feet. He looked her in the eyes, blinking slowly, twin tears chasing down his face.
โRed,โ he said, low, soft, almost too soft to cut through the air in this RV. โLook at me.โ
She was looking at him. โItโs not your fault,โ he said.
โWhat?โ Red sni๏ฌed.
โItโs not your fault your mom died.โ Red paused, held her breath.
โI know,โ she said ๏ฌatly. It wasnโt her, it was Catherine Lavoy. Theyโd all just learned that together.
โRed,โ Arthur said, ๏ฌngers gentle against all her broken bones and skin. โItโs not your fault.โ
Red blinked. โI know,โ she said slowly, the words shaking because she tried too hard. What could Arthur see? What could he read in her eyes?
โRed,โ he said gently, not looking away.
So Red did, she looked away, anywhere but at him. At the pattern in the curtains over there, please, could she ๏ฌnally work out what it was.ย Think.ย Or at someone else, but not Maddy, or Oliver, or Simon or Reyna. A distraction, anything, so she didnโt think about all that guilt and all that shame, so she didnโt bring them out, right here in front of everyone.
โRed,โ he said again, bringing her eyes back to his. โStop, Arthur,โ she whispered.
โItโs not your fault.โ
That last one did it. Red felt a shift in her gut, something untwisting, something ๏ฌnally letting go. Her face cracked and the tears came. She cried, the sound shuddering in her throat. She stumbled forward, into Arthurโs waiting arms, her head against his chest, and Red cried and she let it all go.
It wasnโt her fault.
She didnโt know what would happen after that phone call. She didnโt hate her mom and Mom must have known that, there on her knees at the end of all things, as Catherine aimed the gun at the back of her head. Mom was Redโs world, her whole world, and she must have known that, she must have felt it somehow, because that was how love worked.
It wasnโt Redโs fault.
Sheโd replaced her mom with the guilt and the shame and the blame. Theyโd become part of her, a limb, an organ, a chain around her neck. Red thought she needed them to live, but she didnโt, because it wasnโt her fault and she didnโt need them anymore. She cried and it wasnโt all because of Maddy
or because of Catherine and the truth. She cried because she could ๏ฌnally forgive her mom for dying, and forgive herself too. Enough to go around.
Arthur stroked his hand down the back of her hair, to the ends of her ponytail.
โItโs not true.โ Oliverโs voice broke through. โNone of that is true. Maddy, what the fuck are you saying?!โ
Red pulled away from Arthur, wiping her face. Oliver emerged out of the blur, stepping toward her.
โMy mom didnโt do any of that!โ he shouted. โItโs all lies! All of them. I donโt know what game you two think youโre playing.โ He glared at Red, and then his sister, dying over there on the ๏ฌoor. โMom didnโt do anything.โ
โYes she did,โ Red said, straightening up to look Oliver in the eye. โShe did all of it. And I hope she dies on her knees, scared and alone, like she did to my mom.โ
โYou shut the fuck up!โ Oliver screamed. He lunged forward, but he wasnโt coming for her, he was going for the table, grabbing for something. He thrashed back around, the knife gripped in one hand, Zippo lighter in the other. A gleam across the metal of both, matching the one on his bared teeth. โStop, Oliver, itโs over,โ Arthur said, raising his hands, backing up. โItโs over. I have the answer we came for. Red wonโt testify in court for the woman who killed her own mother. I can use that to convince my brother, heโll listen to me. We were supposed to get the answer and then kill Red, thatโs what we were told to do, but no one has to get hurt here. No one else.โ He glanced at Maddy, shivering now, vibrating against Reynaโs hands. โI donโt have any way of communicating with my brother now, because you threw the remote outside, and the walkie-talkie is broken. But I can go outside.โ He sni๏ฌed. โIโll walk over to him and explain that itโs over, tell him to stand down. Iโll make sure he does, I promise. Then the rest of you can get in that truck and drive Maddy to a hospital. She needs to get to a hospital. Itโs over, Oliver.
Please, let it be over.โ
โYouโre not going anywhere,โ Oliver growled. โNot with all those lies about my mom. I know what you people do, youโre animals. I wonโt let you kill my mom! None of itโs true. Youโre not going out there and telling your
brother her name. Itโs not happening.โ He raised the knife, pointed it at Arthur. โYouโre staying right here.โ
โOliver,โ Reyna pleaded, the towel stained red in her hands. โWe need to get Maddy to a hospital. She wonโt make it. Please, letโs do what Arthur says.โ โNo,โ he barked, knife swinging in her direction now. โI canโt let him
leave. I canโt let him tell his brother.โ
โMaddy wonโt survive, Oliver.โ Red pushed forward. โSheโs bleeding out.
Arthur is giving us a way out of here. Now.โ
โIโm not fucking listening to you,โ Oliver said, voice dark and rasping. โYouโre a liar! Youโre going to get my mom killed.โ
โAnd youโre going to get Maddy killed! We have to go!โ
His eyes darted side to side. Because it was a choice, in a way, between his mom and his little sister. That was what this came down to. A life for another. But Oliver Lavoy didnโt like making hard decisions. He had everything and more.
โMaybe the people on the walkie-talkies heard you, Red,โ Simon said, his eyes wide and panicked, sliding up the knife in Oliverโs hands. It was over, but it wasnโt, because the danger was standing right here, trapped inside with them, and they all knew it, Simon too. โMaybe they called the police, maybe theyโre on the way.โ
Red exhaled. โThereโs no way of knowing for sure,โ she said. โIf one of them was talking at the same time, my interference wouldnโt have come through.โ
โWhat about if some of us go out the other side?โ Reyna suggested, gesturing with her head out the left side of the RV, through the driverโs-side window. โWe know thereโs not a second sniper out that side now. Some of us can leave that way and go get help. Iโll stay here with Maddy.โ
โNo one leaves!โ Oliver roared. โNo one leaves until I work out what to do.โ
What to do. A plan. Oliver was trying to think up a plan, one where he could save both his mom and his sister. A win-win. So like his mom. But Red couldnโt see a win-win for him here, and she didnโt want him to win, because Oliver winning meant Catherine would win, and Red couldnโt let that happen.
โThe sniper,โ Simon said, turning to Arthur. โHeโs your brother?โ Arthur gave him a small nod.
โDo you have any other way of communicating with him?โ
Arthur reversed his head, shaking it instead. โJust the remote for the light and the walkie-talkie.โ
โShit,โ Simon hissed. โI was just thinking, if you had a way of communicating with him, you could tell him to stand down, that weโre all getting in the truck. Oliver, would you let us leave that way? If Arthur had to come with us, before he could tell his brother everything. Then you could think about your plan while weโre on the way, getting Maddy to a hospital to save her.โ
Oliver narrowed his eyes, thinking it through. He raised his chin, nodding his head just once. He would allow that.
โBut I donโt have a way of communicating with him,โ Arthur said. โI could go outside and look for the remote but Iโd never ๏ฌnd it in the dark.โ
โNo.โ Oliverโs chin dropped again, eyes ๏ฌashing. โArthur does not leave this RV.โ
โOliver!โ Reyna was crying now, her arms shaking at the elbows. โWe have to save Maddy!โ
Maddyโs eyes were closed now, they hadnโt reopened since the last time Red checked.
โMaddy?โ Red shrieked, stepping toward her, shoes cracking against something.
โIโm awake,โ Maddy croaked, and her lips were so pale, blending in with the rest of her face. โIโm awake,โ she said. โJust resting them, I promise.โ
The knot loosened in Redโs chest, but not all the way. Maddy was dying, Red was going to watch her die if she couldnโt get her out of here. Maddy knew, sheโd known all along what happened to Redโs mom, but she was her best friend, her Maddy, and Red had had enough of guilt and blame. She had to save her.
Her eyes trailed over to Oliver. Could they overpower him? Could she, Simon and Arthur get that knife out of his hands, restrain him? The knife ๏ฌashed in the overhead lights, pulling in her eyes. It was so sharp. So jagged
and sharp. That knife could make someone bleed out too, another person dying on the ๏ฌoor beside Maddy. And Red had no doubt that Oliver would use it; he was backed up against a wall, ๏ฌght or ๏ฌight, and she knew which choice he would make there.
Oliver Lavoy was the danger, he had been all along. And now he wouldnโt let them save Maddy, not unless they found a way to communicate with the sniper, here, from the RV.
Red shifted and something crunched beneath her shoe, Maddyโs shoe. She looked down. It was the walkie-talkie. Smashed to pieces. Plastic and metal and wires. Redโs eyes narrowed, skipping over the pieces, slotting them together in her mind, ๏ฌxing them. Her job, her responsibility.
โI can do it,โ she said, and she knew she could now, no room for doubt, no time for it. Sheโd done it so many times before, it was etched there, in the pathways of her mind. Useless, like a lot of things in her head, but not now, right now it might save a life.
โWhat?โ Simon asked her.
โI can rebuild the walkie-talkie.โ
