lana _ stuns me into silence. She doesn’t wait for an answer that probably won’t come. Any relief I gained from discovering that neither Lana nor I are Cami’s parents seems fleeting, easily replaced by the pain in my chest as I watch her walk away from me once again.
I deserved better from you.
Of course he did. He deserved the whole damn world, but I was, am, too sick to give him anything but heartbreak.
And whose fault is it?
I’m not sure how long I stand there reflecting on the conversation I had with Lana, but I don’t move until the rising sun stings my skin. I take a step towards my car and almost trip over a small person standing in front of me.
“Hello!” Cami smiles at me and greets me. My heart rate accelerates. “Hello?”
“You are the lord of last night.” The tanned skin around his blue eyes crinkles as his smile widens. Her dad must have some strong genes because Cami barely looks like Lana’s sister except for the color of her skin and the shape of her lips.
“Yeah?”
“I’m Cami.” He holds out his hand for me to shake.
“California.” I’m on autopilot as I grab her small palm. The size difference between us is comical, but his grip is strong as he shakes my arm like it’s a pool noodle.
“Hello, Cow-l.”
“ Cal,” I repeat slower this time, emphasizing the ah sound .
“Cam-eee.” She slurs her name as she points to her chest, instantly making me feel like an idiot for trying to teach her how to say my name correctly.
Who cares how you say it? Just get out of here.
“Well, it’s been great talking to you…” I take a step around her. “Wait.”
Jesus, take the wheel and take me to the nearest cliff, please.
She runs ahead and stops in front of me, blocking my path to the car. “You owe me a dollar.”
I blink at her. “So that?”
“The swear jar.” She extends her hand. “Money please.” “The swear jar? What the hell is that?”
His big eyes widen. “UH oh. Now you owe me two dollars.
“I see that they are teaching extortion from an early age.” “What is extorshee-on?”
I give my head a good shake. “Forget it.” I dodge her and put five feet between us before she chases me.
“Hey! What about my money?
I close my eyes and count to five. Sweat begins to slide down my neck due to my increased internal temperature. I have absolutely no experience with children other than encountering and avoiding the occasional child in public. Until Declan and Iris have one of their own, I’m not quite prepared to deal with any of this.
Just give him the money and go. I check my wallet for singles, but I have nothing. “Sorry, kid, but I don’t have any dollars.”
“What about that?” She points to the stack of hundred dollar bills with big eyes.
“Do you know how much these are worth?”
His blank stare doesn’t give me much to exploit.
“Fine. Whatever. Here you go.” I give him one of the bills. “But you said two bad words.”
“These are worth more than a dollar.” I touch the numbers for emphasis. There are a hundred.
See?”
Are you really trying to reason with a child?
His eyebrows knit together as he looks at the bill. “Wait. Let me count to make sure… One… two… three… Trace each number in the air as if you were writing on an invisible sheet of paper.
For the love of God. At the rate of his count, I’ll spend the whole morning here. I grab another hundred and pass them to him. “Over there.”
Stick your tongue through the space where one of his front teeth should be. “Oooh.”
“Bye bye.” I half greet her and return to my path. towards my car. “Will you play with me?” She follows me like a shadow.
“Can’t.”
We almost arrive. The blurry numbers on my license plate become clearer as I get closer to my car.
She runs to follow my long strides. “Why not?”
“I have a place to be.” You are so close. I take the keys out of my pocket and open the door.
Maybe if you throw another hundred on the ground, it will distract her enough for you to escape.
“Where are you going?”
Anywhere but here is preferable at this time. “A meeting.” “Oh.” Her smile falls. “You will come back?”
“Uhm…maybe?” He itches my skin.
“Hurrah! Next time you’ll play with me.” His hands clap.
The child needs medication or a muzzle. That’s obvious. She reminds me a lot of myself at that age, bursting with energy and rambling endlessly. It’s a mystery how my brothers didn’t try to suffocate me in my sleep. “I’m sorry boy. I’m not here to play with you.
“Wow. But Wyatt plays with me.”
Gravel kicks up under my shoes from my sudden stop. “Who?”
“Wyatt? It is written as YAT.” “What’s his last name?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Umm… agent?”
That’s his damn job, not his name, but it’s all the confirmation I need. He and Lana used to argue like siblings whenever they were in the same room, and for a long time I thought they hated each other.
And to think that you once considered him a friend.
My ears pound with the blood rushing through my body, bubbling beneath the surface of my skin. Of all the people she thought she could trust, Wyatt was pretty high on that list. We spent most summers together and he even visited me twice in Denver while I was attending college. When Lana and I were together, whether we were just friends avoiding the inevitable or we officially started dating, he never seemed interested in her in the slightest.
Probably because he was biding his time until you fucked everything up indefinitely.
My muscles tense beneath my shirt as I allow myself to acknowledge the emotion I have no right to feel.
jealousy _ Has a mind of its own, devouring all rational thoughts. Deep down, I know I have no right to be jealous when I’m the one who left. Except I trusted Wyatt to take care of her for me.
It seems he did much more than that.
I’m glad Wyatt and I aren’t friends anymore. It’ll be easier for me to kick his ass once he catches it again.
What if he’s the man you saw kissing Lana outside Last Call Bar two years ago?
“The fucking snake,” he blurted. Cami gasps.
I shudder. “Shit.” Her mouth opens.
“Damn?” My voice breaks.
She shakes her head from side to side. I sigh as I pull out my wallet once again and hand him three more hundred dollar bills. The way her eyes light up as she squeezes the money is endearing.
Do you like children now?
No, but his fascination with money is pretty funny.
“Are you okay, Cow-l?”
Control yourself.
I open my fists. I should better go. It follows me like a shadow.
“Camila!” Lana screams.
We both look up to find Lana stomping down the front steps.
“Trapped,” Cami murmurs under her breath. She looks identical to Lana in the way she avoids everyone’s gaze when she is in trouble.
Lana runs over to us and puts her hand on her hip like her mother did every time she got caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to do. Which, no thanks to me, was a lot.
“Why do you insist on talking to strangers after everything we’ve talked about?”
Being referred to as a stranger shouldn’t hurt, but it does, especially after learning that Wyatt is involved in Lana’s daughter’s life now that I’m out of the picture. He shows that no matter what history Lana and I have, it’s just that.
history _
“Sorry mom”. Cami rocks on her heels.
Lana crouches down and looks Cami in the eyes. “You can’t talk to everyone you meet, even if they look good or answer your questions.” “Do you think I look good?” I put on my usual smile, hoping that if I pretend to be happy for long enough, I can erase the uncomfortable feelings swirling inside my chest.
That’s what you always hope for.
Lana’s eyes narrow as she gives me a quick glance. My skin heats up when her gaze lingers on my arms, causing heat to pool in my belly.
“I’ve seen better.” The skin on her nose wrinkles.
“You’ve always been a fucking liar, Alana.” I touch the tip of mine to emphasize my point.
Lana and Cami’s eyes widen at the same time. I take out my wallet with a sigh and hand Cami another new bill.
Six hundred dollars poorer and you still haven’t learned your lesson. “Are you in the habit of handing out hundred dollar bills?” A single one of Lana’s eyebrows raises.
“Only for persistent five-year-olds who can’t count to one hundred.” Lana gives her daughter an imperceptible glance. “What is five percent?”
“Five hundred!” Cami raises her fist full of money in the air.
That little shit…
“Were you saying?” The corners of Lana’s lips lift into a small smile as she looks at me. It’s the first one I’ve seen on her face since I got here, and it makes my stomach feel light and bubbly, like I just downed a vodka soda in ten seconds or less.
I recognize the feeling instantly.
Hell no. I’m not going there. I should better go.
I don’t dare take one last look at the two of them, though I feel Lana’s eyes burning a hole in my back as I get into my car.
It’s not until I leave the lake house in my rearview mirror that I can finally breathe again.
The three-hour car ride back to Chicago was a blur. I called Leo’s assistant ahead of time to request an emergency meeting, and he was able to get me on his agenda before lunch.
I fiddle with the lid of my flask for the third time in the last twenty minutes. I’m about to call his assistant when the doors behind me open and the older lawyer enters. Leo looks like he’s been stolen from the 1920s with his three-piece suit, feather hat, and gold pocket watch. All the man needs is a cigar to complete his look.
“Callahan!” He pulls me into a crushing hug. “What a pretty surprise!” “Actually?” My hands stick out at my sides.
He takes a seat behind his desk. “Yes. I’ve been meaning to check on you for some time now. How have you been?”
I consider giving a basic, nondescript answer, but I choose to be honest. “I’ve seen better days.”
His smile drops a fraction of an inch. “It’s a shame. I’m sorry to hear that.
Is there anything I can do to help improve it a little?”
I sit taller in the chair. “In fact, there is.” “What do you need?”
“I have a couple of questions about my grandfather’s will and I hope you can clarify them.”
He places his fedora on his desk and leans back in his chair. “Like what?”
“I need to know who owns the lake house.”
“Of course. I can answer that for you. Just give me a second to find the file.” Leo walks over to the wall of filing cabinets and opens a top drawer. My heart rate quickens as he flips through several files of information before making a noise. confirmation.
He returns to his desk holding a file with my name on it. “According to the scripture, you do.”
My lungs deflate from my strong exhalation. “It’s a relief because the person who currently lives there believes that my grandfather left the house to her.”
Leo clasps his hands in front of him. “Well, that’s the complicated part.” My stomach drops.
No. Tell me he didn’t.
Leo continues with a smile, like he’s not going to destroy my world and any chance he has of selling the place. “According to the most recent deed, he is listed as co-owner of the house along with Miss Alana Castillo.”
Damn hell. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ll never be able to sell that house as long as Lana owns part of it.
“About it…”
I raise my hand. “Let me guess. I can’t buy it with her percentage. Her smile doesn’t falter.”
“Of course.”
“Your grandfather was very specific about how you and Ms. Castillo must agree on all legal matters related to the property.” “What if she doesn’t want to sell?”
“So I would recommend that you both get legal advice.”
I don’t have time to talk to Declan’s legal team, let alone wait for Lana to find some representation.
Great.
My molars grind together. “Any other surprises I should be aware of before returning to Lake Wisteria?”
He flips through the file, scanning pages of legal documents. “I think everything is ready now. Just remember that any interference from your siblings regarding the sale of the property could have serious repercussions.” Every one of my muscles stiffens under my shirt. “What kind of repercussions?”
He closes the file with a tight smile. “I think you have enough to worry about given your task. There is no need to add to that by discussing the worst situations.”
“Could I lose my shares?” I blurt out.
“Let’s not let it come to that, okay?”
Shit.
I take one last sip from my flask before stuffing it into the inside pocket of my suit and opening the door to Declan’s office. Its panoramic view of the city is unmatched with floor-to-ceiling views. Windows that allow plenty of sunlight. As much as I hate the Kane Company building, the views of Chicago are unmatched.
My brother sits behind his desk, hitting his keyboard hard enough to make it slide forward. “Go away, Todd. I’m busy.”
“Really? Tim’s been working here for months, and you still don’t know his name?”
My brother’s head turns in my direction. “What are you doing here?” “I came back to clarify some things with the will.”
His dark eyebrows moved a little closer. “AND?”
I take a seat across from him, in front of his desk. In one swift movement, I undo the button on my suit to give myself a break. Every time I visit Kane’s corporate office, it’s always the same. An oppressive pressure builds in my chest, forcing me to drink more from my flask than usual. The office reminds me of my failure to live up to my last name and the expectations set because of who my family is.
It doesn’t matter.
I tap my fingers against my thighs. “You and Rowan should stay away from my homework.”
“What do you mean?” She leans back in her chair.
“When I stopped by Leo’s office to update the writing, he left a cryptic comment.”
“What exactly did he say?” I repeat my conversation with Leo.
Declan gets up and starts pacing, making a hole in the carpet. “What could you mean by interference?”
“I don’t know. When I tried to ask him if it had anything to do with my actions, he shut down.”
“Shit.”
“My thought exactly.” The only reason I’m not panicking is because of the constant flow of vodka pumping throughout my system, giving me a false sense of calm.
He runs his hands through his dark hair, messing up the perfectly combed strands back. “Grandpa knew I would intervene to help you.”
Probably because Declan has always cleaned up my messes since I was born. He couldn’t help but suffer from a savior older brother complex, almost suffocating Rowan and me with his overprotectiveness.
“Whatever you do, don’t help.” Her brown eyes fall to the ground. “Declan…”
He pulls out his phone, looking paler than usual. “I need to make some calls.”
Declan’s steps quicken as he walks through his office. “You already had a buyer lined up, right?” My teeth grind together. “Yeah.” His hand holding the phone tightens.
“Because?”
Why couldn’t you trust me to do one thing on my own? The real question remains on the tip of my tongue.
His jaw clenches, making the vein near his temple throb. “Why more? It’s not like she was going to leave anything to chance.”
“More like you didn’t want to leave anything to me .”
He throws his free hand in the air. “Why would he? It’s not like he made any effort to complete his part of the will. Do you mind if we screw Rowan and me?”
I get out of my chair. “With how little you think of me, maybe I should give up my actions and walk away from this whole damn thing with my dignity intact.”
He lets out a bitter laugh. “Of course, that’s your first solution. I don’t know why I expected anything different from the guy who excels at failing.”
“Big dig, asshole. Did you pick that one up from dad?
Are you interested in being more than just a family failure? The memory of my dad laughing like a drunk takes center stage in my head; him avoiding my need for a calculus tutor is quickly replaced by a darker memory.
Why am I not surprised you couldn’t even hit a rubber block ? The harsh words my father shared during my post-op after I tore my ACL.
The only reason you’re on the board of this company is because your grandfather knew you wouldn’t amount to anything on your own. My father’s reddened eyes scan my seat in the conference room.
The only thing my father succeeded at was finding a hundred different ways to make me feel like a pathetic failure.
And now Declan…
fuck it
“Shit. Cal…” Declan’s gaze softens.
Screw Declan for using my only weakness against me. It’s not that I don’t want to be better. to do better
I just don’t know how.
I shoot him my fakest smile that makes his eye twitch. “There is no need to apologize, brother. It’s not like I haven’t spent my entire life hearing those same words over and over again.”
Declan’s words follow me long after I leave the Kane Company building, feeding on my insecurities like a parasite that can only be cured by a bottle of vodka.
You could get help again. My hand shakes as I pour myself a drink. Some spills from my sudden movement, soaking my hand and the surrounding area around the glass.
I shake my head, ignoring the voice in my head that beckons me to stop before taking the first sip.
Always a disappointment.
I pause as my lips touch the rim of the glass.
You are better than this.
No. I really am not.
I down the first shot in a few gulps before pouring myself a second glass. Declan tries to call me twice during the night. He even leaves a voicemail, which I immediately delete because I’m too drunk to care.
Just how I like it.