Kai
Iรขโฌโขve rehearsed this reunion, repeated practiced words over and over in my mind.
Itรขโฌโขs this conversation that has occupied my racing thoughts, forced my feet to tread the familiar path to his study. The one that was our fatherรขโฌโขs before it belonged to the brother now resembling him.
Or maybe he doesnรขโฌโขt. Maybe he is nothing like the man I loathed.
Iรขโฌโขm not sure what to think after Kittรขโฌโขs dooming declaration in the throne room. And that is exactly why I find myself standing before that familiar wooden doorรขโฌโanswers.
After three raps of my knuckle, Iรขโฌโขm turning the handle and stepping into the room. The small space is stuffy, like that cellar where the Enforcer reunited with his Silver Savior. My gaze skims over the surrounding study, these four walls trapping so much of my past within. Embers endure a slow death at the bottom of the hearth, glowing faintly with the final remnants of warmth. Three plush chairs face the fireplace, one leather and worn and stealing my attention for a moment too long.
I clear my throat before striding toward the large desk at the centerย of the room. Kittรขโฌโขs head is bowed, eyes tracing the parchment clutched between his fingers. Itรขโฌโขs only when Iรขโฌโขm looming over him that his head lifts. รขโฌลHello, Brother.รขโฌย
I blink at the endearment in his voice. It sounds so foreign coming from the man I left to find our fatherรขโฌโขs murderer. But this isnรขโฌโขt that broken, crazed man the kingdom gossiped about. This is something else entirely.
รขโฌลHello, Kitt,รขโฌย I return slowly. รขโฌลYou seemรขโฌยฆ well.รขโฌย
He chuckles slightly, setting his papers aside. รขโฌลIรขโฌโขve definitely felt far worse. You would know.รขโฌย The look he wears now is familiar, like a hint of the grin he used to give me so often. รขโฌลIรขโฌโขm sorry for being soรขโฌยฆ distant before you left. But Iรขโฌโขve grieved. I feel lighter, if that makes any sense.รขโฌย A shake of his head, blond hair rippling. รขโฌลIรขโฌโขve learned a lot in these past few weeks.รขโฌย
I hum softly, unsure what it is Iรขโฌโขm supposed to say. After a beat of silence, I settle with, รขโฌลIรขโฌโขm glad youรขโฌโขre feeling better.รขโฌย
รขโฌลMore like myself,รขโฌย he adds with a small smile. รขโฌลOh, and thisรขโฌยฆรขโฌย He rifles through the assortment of parchment in search of something. รขโฌลThis belongs to you.รขโฌย
He sets that something on the only sliver of wood peeking out from beneath the blanket of paper. I stare at my Enforcerรขโฌโขs ring and the large crest atop it. Two lions frame a bannered A, our family seal and sign of strength.
I wish that is all I see when looking at it.
No, I see every horrific thing I, and all the Enforcers before me, have done in the name of that crest. Every drop of blood spilled to secure our familyรขโฌโขs power. Every order obeyed because that banner has me bound for life.
But I slide it onto my finger anyway, feel the bite of cold steel against my skin. I flex my hand. Decades of death are wrapped into the band clutching my skin, and I donรขโฌโขt dare to even flinch.
รขโฌลSo,รขโฌย I mutter softly, eyes never straying from the ring. รขโฌลI earned it back.รขโฌย
He shrugs slightly. รขโฌลYou brought her to me, didnรขโฌโขt you?รขโฌย
รขโฌลI did.รขโฌย
And I regret it more than anything.
รขโฌลIรขโฌโขve got to hand it to you, Kai.รขโฌย He slowly leans back in the chair, mimicking yet another one of Fatherรขโฌโขs movements. รขโฌลI wasnรขโฌโขt sure she would make it back here.รขโฌย
Reading between the lines is rather difficult when they are blurred. Iรขโฌโขm no longer sure if it is my brother speaking, or the king heรขโฌโขs become. รขโฌลAnd you worried that would be my doing,รขโฌย I say smoothly, voicing the words he avoids.
His smile is tinged with an amused sort of sadness. รขโฌลI thought you might let her go.รขโฌย
รขโฌลWhy didnรขโฌโขt you tell me of your plan with her?รขโฌย
The question flies from my mouth, far harsher than Iรขโฌโขd rehearsed in my mind. He blinks at me, bewildered for a moment before his newfound composure returns. รขโฌลI honestly wasnรขโฌโขt sure what to do with her myself. Not until I started listening to Calumรขโฌโขs counsel. Found the records with Fatherรขโฌโขs letter.รขโฌย
รขโฌลSo Calum told you to marry her?รขโฌย My voice is low. Lethal. รขโฌลBetter yet, why the hell are you listening to him in the first place?รขโฌย
รขโฌลBecause he opened my eyes to so many things,รขโฌย Kitt fires back. รขโฌลSuddenly, I was thrown into the role of king, ridden with grief and anger. And when Calum told me his story, what was really happening in the slums, I realized how little I knew of my own kingdom.รขโฌย His chest heaves, though his voice is steady. รขโฌลSo I listened. I learned. And for the first time in my life, I came to my own conclusions. So call me crazed like the rest of the kingdom, butรขโฌโรขโฌย
รขโฌลI donรขโฌโขt think youรขโฌโขre insane.รขโฌย My quiet words cut through his own.ย รขโฌลI think youรขโฌโขre right. If Ilya is in danger, then you are doing what you must to save it. HellรขโฌยรขโฌโI huff out a laughรขโฌโรขโฌลthe Ordinaries should be welcomed back into this kingdom even if it wasnรขโฌโขt needed to survive. Because I also learned quite a few things on my journey. Like the lies we were told and who it was that spread them.รขโฌย
Kitt opens his mouth, but I push on. รขโฌลIรขโฌโขm not here to discuss politics or the Elite kingdom Father built atop decades of deception.รขโฌย I brace my hands on the desk, leaning over the worn wood. รขโฌลIรขโฌโขm here to talk about her.รขโฌย
He stands slowly to his feet, nearly leveling our gazes. รขโฌลEasy, Brother.รขโฌย
รขโฌลMarriage, Kitt?รขโฌย I almost shout, shaking my head. รขโฌลWhat the hell are you thinking?รขโฌย
รขโฌลIรขโฌโขm thinking,รขโฌย he says stiffly, รขโฌลthat I donรขโฌโขt have another option.รขโฌย
รขโฌลYouรขโฌโขre the king!รขโฌย This time, I do yell. รขโฌลYou will always have another option. Always have a way out, unlike the rest of us.รขโฌย
รขโฌลFine, you want another option?รขโฌย Challenge rings in his voice, smothering any sign of the composed king I returned home to. รขโฌลMy way out is killing her. That is what I was going to do. How does that sound? Are you happy now?รขโฌย
We stare at each other, chests heaving. Shock slackens my jaw; terror tightens my chest. His words are nearly as paralyzing as the unspoken ones hanging in the air between us. Because what is worse than her dying is me being the one forced to kill her.
รขโฌลIf I donรขโฌโขt marry her,รขโฌย Kitt breathes, begging me to understand, รขโฌลI have no choice but to kill her. She murdered our father, Kai. But as my bride, she can help restore Ilya.รขโฌย He braces a hand on the desk, leaning in with each word. รขโฌลThis is a mutually beneficial agreement. I would protect her. Twist the truth about what happened between Father and her. And in return, she would be my symbol of peace to the other kingdoms.รขโฌย
I comb a hand through my hair. Iรขโฌโขm not sure when I started pacing,ย but my feet now set a swift tempo up and down the worn rug. I laugh then, bitter and unable to stop the sound from bubbling out of me. รขโฌลPlease help me understand, because when I left, you seemed plenty enraged and ready to have me plunge a sword through her chest.รขโฌย My steely gaze searches his. รขโฌลSo what changed?รขโฌย
รขโฌลEverything,รขโฌย he breathes, quiet enough to have me regretting my harsh words. รขโฌลEverything changed. I was a son mourning the man I thought I loved. I see now that it was obsession because love was not an emotion Father taught me. But I was bitter, vengeful, unsteady without him here to guide me.รขโฌย He takes a shaky breath. รขโฌลI grieved. I learned. I came to my senses. And youรขโฌโขre right. Iรขโฌโขm not the crazed boy you left. Iรขโฌโขm a king.รขโฌย
His words hit me hard, like a blow to the chest thatรขโฌโขs stolen the air from my lungs. I swallow. รขโฌลWhat happened to the son who would do anything to please his father? Because this decision goes against everything he wanted for Ilya, even if youรขโฌโขre saving it in the process.รขโฌย
He takes a deep breath, avoiding my gaze. รขโฌลFather only cared about eradicating the Ordinaries, not strengthening this kingdom. He hid under the Elite society he created, and yet, Ilya had never been weaker. I see now how small-minded he was.รขโฌย Kitt finally meets my stare with a stern one of his own. รขโฌลAnd I want to make this kingdom truly great.รขโฌย
I nod slowly. Kittรขโฌโขs zeal shines through each word, now no longer smothered by our father. Itรขโฌโขs admirable, his love for this kingdom and resolve to restore it. But pride swells in my chest, not for this king, but for the boy who dreamed only of approval. Now he wears Fatherรขโฌโขs crown and forsakes the infatuation tethered to it.
I force a calming breath into my lungs.
Thoughts of Father are dangerous. They tend to lead me to her.
Escaping from the darkest corner of my mind, broken words slide off my tongue, barely more than a whisper. รขโฌลDonรขโฌโขt you hate her?รขโฌย
To my surprise, he forces a smile. Itรขโฌโขs a sharp, small gesture heรขโฌโขs willing to share with me. รขโฌลDo you?รขโฌย
We eye each other, and for the first time since setting that crown atop his head, I think we might just understand each other. Because suddenly, I see myself in him again. Paedyn is not a right or a wrong, not something as simple as a yes or a no. She is confusion itself, a feeling unplaced, a color between black and white. Hell, she is my Silver Savior. And hating her is not as simple as it may seem.
But for me, it is not loving her that has proven to be difficult.
รขโฌลI donรขโฌโขt want this to come between us,รขโฌย Kitt ventures cautiously. รขโฌลI want things to be as they once wereรขโฌโus against every opposition. Brothers again.รขโฌย
I open my mouth to tell himรขโฌโ
The door swings open.
I donรขโฌโขt even need to turn around. The mere presence of her is familiar, branded into the hollow of my neck where her head rests, tethered to my ankle and forever tugging me toward her.
Kittรขโฌโขs gaze climbs over my shoulder before widening slightly in shock. I turn then, unable to keep my eyes from her any longer.
And there she is. Her stance is somehow stern, expression unsurprisingly the same. Cropped hair dusts her jaw, tousled and wavy. Her fatherรขโฌโขs leather journal is tucked beneath an arm, flush against the blouse clinging to her figure. Those blue eyes crash into mine like a wave, along with the sudden realization that Iรขโฌโขve been nearly deprived of drowning in them since our arrival to the castle. Only now do I have the privilege to drink her in. I watch her do the same, though the stoic expression she wears never slips.
Pretend.
Sheรขโฌโขs far better at it than I am. Though, I would expect nothing less from the รขโฌลPsychicรขโฌย before me. She has spent the entirety of her life practicing the art of pretending.
Her eyes tear from mine to land on Kitt. รขโฌลNo need to catch me up to speed. I happened toรขโฌยฆ hear it all.รขโฌย
My brows rise with a skeptical sort of amusement. รขโฌลSo, itรขโฌโขs safe to assume that your ear was pressed to the door.รขโฌย
Her eyes flick to mine before offering me a deceptively pleasant smile. รขโฌลOnly until the two of you started shouting. Then the entirety of the hall was eavesdropping as well.รขโฌย
With a heavy sigh, Kitt lowers himself back into the seat beneath him. รขโฌลPaedyn, I had every intention of speaking with you about all of thisรขโฌโรขโฌย
รขโฌลReally?รขโฌย Her voice is sharp, cutting through his words like a blade. รขโฌลBefore or after we are married?รขโฌย
I stiffen, eyes sliding down her arm to the shimmering ring choking her finger. Itรขโฌโขs so casually been carried into this room, this conversation. The sight of that symbol here, now, possibly forever, has my chest aching.
Maybe Iรขโฌโขm even jealous of the ring. Jealous of the way it clings to her skin, feels every shiver of her body. Because that should be me.
รขโฌลBefore, of course.รขโฌย Kittรขโฌโขs talking again, voice even. He avoids her gaze. รขโฌลIรขโฌโขm sure you have a lot of questions.รขโฌย
รขโฌลOh, I sure do.รขโฌย The words are little more than a laugh. รขโฌลStarting with the task youรขโฌโขve assigned Lenny to.รขโฌย
I lean against the desk, legs stretched atop the carpet and ankles crossed. My gaze finds Kitt over a shoulder. รขโฌลAnd what task might this be?รขโฌย
Kitt opens his mouth, but itรขโฌโขs Paeรขโฌโขs voice I hear. รขโฌลHeรขโฌโขs been ordered to guardรขโฌยฆรขโฌย A bob of her throat. รขโฌลBlairรขโฌโขs door. And likely every move she makes beyond it.รขโฌย
Rage simmers in her eyes, and just like that, I understand what it is that fuels the fire burning within them.
Adena.
Iรขโฌโขd watched that branch tear through every muscle and tendon in her chest. Watched Paedyn crumble in that sandy Pit, cry over the bloody body, and scream when it shuddered its last breath.
But behind that tragic scene stood the winner of the final Trial. Blair guided that branch through Adenaรขโฌโขs chest with her mind and a smile.
When my eyes slowly climb back to Paedynรขโฌโขs, itรขโฌโขs revenge that reflects in them. And I have a feeling that Blairรขโฌโขs blood will be the only she enjoys on her hands.
รขโฌลI have to keep the peace,รขโฌย Kitt says slowly. รขโฌลHer father is a trusted general, and I canรขโฌโขt have my future queen picking fights within the castle. I knew you would go after her, and I figured that placing Lenny between you two was the safest option.รขโฌย He runs a hand through his hair, tousling the blond strands. รขโฌลI need you on your best behavior if thisรขโฌยฆ arrangement is going to work.รขโฌย
รขโฌลAnd you want this to work?รขโฌย Paedyn asks with a sudden calmness thatรขโฌโขs begun to creep over her. รขโฌลOur arrangement. The uniting of the Ordinaries and Elites.รขโฌย
รขโฌลIn order to save Ilya, yes,รขโฌย Kitt clarifies. รขโฌลWe must open trade again, and that is only possible if the surrounding kingdoms no longer despise us. I would elaborate further about our marriage, but it seems you already heard my reasonings through the other side of the door.รขโฌย
Her silver hair swishes with a nod. รขโฌลI didรขโฌยฆ gather most of the information I was looking for. Except for the question you avoided.รขโฌย She steps forward, tossing the journal before us. Her fingers curl around the edge of the desk, nearly brushing mine. รขโฌลDo you not hate me? After everything Iรขโฌโขve done?รขโฌย
Kitt takes a long, trembling breath. My eyes flick between the two of them, nothing more than a witness of this civil standoff. รขโฌลItรขโฌโขs not about hating or loving you. Itรขโฌโขs about what is best. And I cannot rule a kingdom that has fallen.รขโฌย
รขโฌลI killed your father,รขโฌย she replies bluntly. รขโฌลAnd you forgive me for that?รขโฌย
รขโฌลYou have yet to apologize.รขโฌย
รขโฌลI was protecting myself from him,รขโฌย she whispers. รขโฌลI need you to know that. He came at me, and I barely made it out of that fight alive.รขโฌย Her voice trembles, but she pushes on, head high. รขโฌลIรขโฌโขm sorry that I killed your father. But I will never apologize for killing a tyrant.รขโฌย
Silence smothers the room, so loud itรขโฌโขs nearly deafening.
I watch Kittรขโฌโขs face for any sort of shift and know that Pae is doing the same with that Psychic-like observance of hers. But he doesnรขโฌโขt so much as blink, perhaps even breathe. When he does speak, his words sound slightly choked. รขโฌลYou donรขโฌโขt need my forgiveness. You only need my protection. And nowรขโฌยรขโฌโKittรขโฌโขs voice grows callous, so opposite his tone toward meรขโฌโรขโฌลIรขโฌโขve given you purpose.รขโฌย
Her knuckles grow white around the deskรขโฌโขs edge. She blinks, her face a canvas of shock and hurt and muted understanding. But Kitt has every right to harbor animosity toward the Ordinary who killed his father, so Paedyn simply nods in response to his earnestness. She pushes no further on the matter of forgiveness, not now.
รขโฌลWhat about everything else? The disease you were told us Ordinaries possess?รขโฌย She reaches for the journal then, tearing through worn pages until the hasty handwriting is on display. รขโฌลMy father was Adam Gray, a Healer in the slums. And he recorded everything.รขโฌย
I cross my arms over my chest. รขโฌลHis journal entries state that Father was bribing the Healers, offering them their weightรขโฌโขs worth in silvers if they backed the lie that Ordinaries were slowly dwindling our powers.รขโฌย I blow out a breath. รขโฌลAnd as much as it pains me to admit it, everything written in that journal adds up. Itรขโฌโขs no wonder every Healer lives lavishly in the higher kingdom. They have all the means and no desire to help those in the slums.รขโฌย
When my gaze lands on Pae, she nods in silent gratitude before continuing, รขโฌลEvery Elite in this kingdom despises the Ordinaries. Getting paid to spread lies about them was only a bonus for the Healers. And the king,รขโฌย she adds almost awkwardly, รขโฌลtook advantage of that hatred. He tried to buy my fatherรขโฌโขs silence, more than once. But he was one of the only Healers who stayed in the slums, aware of the lies but unable to do anything about them.รขโฌย
รขโฌลSo he started the Resistance,รขโฌย Kitt sighs out, still avoiding Paedynรขโฌโขs wide gaze. รขโฌลCalum has filled me in on all the details. As did the letter Father left me.รขโฌย He looks as tired as he sounds when his fingers begin massaging the crease between his brows. รขโฌลI know of the lies Healers have spread for decades.รขโฌย
Paedyn swallows. รขโฌลAnd are you going to tell the kingdom this?รขโฌย
Kitt waves a dismissive hand. รขโฌลYes. Though Iรขโฌโขll spin the truth into something more appealing. I may have grown to despise my father in recent weeks, but that does not mean I wish to tarnish our familyรขโฌโขs name.รขโฌย He leans forward then, eying the ring on her hand that I canรขโฌโขt bring myself to look at. รขโฌลI will protect the Azer legacy. Butรขโฌยฆรขโฌย His next words are reluctant. รขโฌลI will also protect you, Paedyn. The kingdom will be told a variation of what really happened outside that arena between you and the king.รขโฌย
There is an edge to his voice, a bitterness I donรขโฌโขt recognize from him. And it doesnรขโฌโขt seem to be directed at me. Shoving the thought aside, I nod down toward the desk drenched in parchment. รขโฌลWhat of the records and Calum? They convinced you to change Ilya?รขโฌย
Turning to me, Kittรขโฌโขs expression softens. รขโฌลIt wasnรขโฌโขt immediate. I had spoken to Calum several times, trying to glean information about the attack. Only, he spoke mostly of why there was a Resistance in the first place. I learned more about the slums and deprivation the kingdomรขโฌโmy kingdomรขโฌโwas heading toward.รขโฌย His gaze drifts to Paedyn. รขโฌลEverythingย he said paired perfectly with what I had seen the day you snuck me from the castle. I know now how that was little more than a betrayal for the Resistanceรขโฌยรขโฌโhe nearly laughs thenรขโฌโรขโฌลbut, nevertheless, it helped open my eyes.
รขโฌลCalum, Mind Reader that he is, knew I was beginning to see the truth. He counseled me, suggested I marry Paedyn in order to save Ilya. I wasnรขโฌโขt going to. Not at first.รขโฌย The king looks up at me. รขโฌลBut I visited the queenรขโฌโyour motherรขโฌโand she told me of the letter Father had left for me. It was a plan, she said, for the future Edric wished Ilya to have. Something each king passes down to the next.รขโฌย
He pauses to clear his throat. รขโฌลIt was only after reading it that I realized what needed to be done. Father didnรขโฌโขt care about Ilyaรขโฌโhe hated Ordinaries. And the damning records of our dwindling food supply and overpopulation was proof of that. He failed to create an Elite society, and now we must face the consequences.รขโฌย
Each word rings with disgust and betrayal. And I am glad of it. Finally, after all these years trying to please him, Kitt sees our father for what he isรขโฌโwas. Paedynรขโฌโขs expression reflects the kingรขโฌโขs, as though heรขโฌโขs spat every bit of revulsion onto her face.
รขโฌลHis hopes for Ilya were crippling. Simpleminded. And he wanted me to continue them for him.รขโฌย Kitt shakes his head in reminiscence of a time when he would have done anything for our father. รขโฌลHe was destroying this kingdom for a futile cause. It was greatness he craved, and instead, he accomplished mediocrity.รขโฌย
My brows lift, as if floated up by the wave of shock flooding through me. This certainly is not the brother I left mere weeks prior. Something has changed, stemming from something else as seemingly insignificant as disappointment.
รขโฌลSo,รขโฌย Paedyn ventures skeptically, รขโฌลyou no longer want to obey your fatherรขโฌโขs wishes?รขโฌย
She asks this knowing full well Kittรขโฌโขs reputation. His whole life has been spent aiming to please a single man who he has now defied with a single decree. My gaze flicks to the king seated before us, watching words fall from lips tinged with a smile. รขโฌลWhy obey a man when I can be a far greater one? I once thought Fatherรขโฌโขs plans for this kingdom were worth my unflinching loyalty, but now I see that they are not.รขโฌย
Itรขโฌโขs difficult, trying to fight my smile.
Kitt has finally broken free from Fatherรขโฌโขs choking grip.
รขโฌลYouรขโฌโขre doing this solely to save Ilya.รขโฌย Itรขโฌโขs not a question from the Silver Savior, but rather, a disappointed declaration.
Kitt laces his fingers atop the desk. รขโฌลI do this to make us great.รขโฌย
รขโฌลYou donรขโฌโขt care for a unified kingdom?รขโฌย Paedyn counters.
รขโฌลThat is not why I am doing this.รขโฌย The kingรขโฌโขs voice remains steady in the face of Paeรขโฌโขs scrutiny. รขโฌลIt is, for some, a positive outcome, though I donรขโฌโขt much care for the Elitesรขโฌโข powers dwindling due to repopulation with Ordinaries. Mundanes already make up half of our numbers. But we will deal with that at a later time.รขโฌย
I hold my breath as Paedyn considers this for a moment. And when she leans in over the desk, so do I. รขโฌลI have dreamt of a free, united Ilya all my life, and if this is the only way to achieve that, then so be it.รขโฌย Her voice grows hesitant. รขโฌลBut it seems I have the rest of my life to change your perspective on Ordinaries.รขโฌย
Kitt dips his head. รขโฌลEverything has changed. And now I too wish for all of us to be united.รขโฌย
My heart bangs against my chest, beating for her, beating for every moment we may never get to spend together. And when words finally spill from her lips, she might as well have plunged a dagger into my back like she promised so long ago.
รขโฌลThen I will marry you, Kitt. To save this kingdom from itself.รขโฌย
