Kai
I’ve rehearsed this reunion, repeated practiced words over and over in my mind.
It’s this conversation that has occupied my racing thoughts, forced my feet to tread the familiar path to his study. The one that was our father’s before it belonged to the brother now resembling him.
Or maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he is nothing like the man I loathed.
I’m not sure what to think after Kitt’s dooming declaration in the throne room. And that is exactly why I find myself standing before that familiar wooden door—answers.
After three raps of my knuckle, I’m turning the handle and stepping into the room. The small space is stuffy, like that cellar where the Enforcer reunited with his Silver Savior. My gaze skims over the surrounding study, these four walls trapping so much of my past within. Embers endure a slow death at the bottom of the hearth, glowing faintly with the final remnants of warmth. Three plush chairs face the fireplace, one leather and worn and stealing my attention for a moment too long.
I clear my throat before striding toward the large desk at the center of the room. Kitt’s head is bowed, eyes tracing the parchment clutched between his fingers. It’s only when I’m looming over him that his head lifts. “Hello, Brother.â€
I blink at the endearment in his voice. It sounds so foreign coming from the man I left to find our father’s murderer. But this isn’t that broken, crazed man the kingdom gossiped about. This is something else entirely.
“Hello, Kitt,†I return slowly. “You seem… well.â€
He chuckles slightly, setting his papers aside. “I’ve definitely felt far worse. You would know.†The look he wears now is familiar, like a hint of the grin he used to give me so often. “I’m sorry for being so… distant before you left. But I’ve grieved. I feel lighter, if that makes any sense.†A shake of his head, blond hair rippling. “I’ve learned a lot in these past few weeks.â€
I hum softly, unsure what it is I’m supposed to say. After a beat of silence, I settle with, “I’m glad you’re feeling better.â€
“More like myself,†he adds with a small smile. “Oh, and this…†He rifles through the assortment of parchment in search of something. “This belongs to you.â€
He sets that something on the only sliver of wood peeking out from beneath the blanket of paper. I stare at my Enforcer’s ring and the large crest atop it. Two lions frame a bannered A, our family seal and sign of strength.
I wish that is all I see when looking at it.
No, I see every horrific thing I, and all the Enforcers before me, have done in the name of that crest. Every drop of blood spilled to secure our family’s power. Every order obeyed because that banner has me bound for life.
But I slide it onto my finger anyway, feel the bite of cold steel against my skin. I flex my hand. Decades of death are wrapped into the band clutching my skin, and I don’t dare to even flinch.
“So,†I mutter softly, eyes never straying from the ring. “I earned it back.â€
He shrugs slightly. “You brought her to me, didn’t you?â€
“I did.â€
And I regret it more than anything.
“I’ve got to hand it to you, Kai.†He slowly leans back in the chair, mimicking yet another one of Father’s movements. “I wasn’t sure she would make it back here.â€
Reading between the lines is rather difficult when they are blurred. I’m no longer sure if it is my brother speaking, or the king he’s become. “And you worried that would be my doing,†I say smoothly, voicing the words he avoids.
His smile is tinged with an amused sort of sadness. “I thought you might let her go.â€
“Why didn’t you tell me of your plan with her?â€
The question flies from my mouth, far harsher than I’d rehearsed in my mind. He blinks at me, bewildered for a moment before his newfound composure returns. “I honestly wasn’t sure what to do with her myself. Not until I started listening to Calum’s counsel. Found the records with Father’s letter.â€
“So Calum told you to marry her?†My voice is low. Lethal. “Better yet, why the hell are you listening to him in the first place?â€
“Because he opened my eyes to so many things,†Kitt fires back. “Suddenly, I was thrown into the role of king, ridden with grief and anger. And when Calum told me his story, what was really happening in the slums, I realized how little I knew of my own kingdom.†His chest heaves, though his voice is steady. “So I listened. I learned. And for the first time in my life, I came to my own conclusions. So call me crazed like the rest of the kingdom, but—â€
“I don’t think you’re insane.†My quiet words cut through his own. “I think you’re right. If Ilya is in danger, then you are doing what you must to save it. Hellâ€â€”I huff out a laugh—“the Ordinaries should be welcomed back into this kingdom even if it wasn’t needed to survive. Because I also learned quite a few things on my journey. Like the lies we were told and who it was that spread them.â€
Kitt opens his mouth, but I push on. “I’m not here to discuss politics or the Elite kingdom Father built atop decades of deception.†I brace my hands on the desk, leaning over the worn wood. “I’m here to talk about her.â€
He stands slowly to his feet, nearly leveling our gazes. “Easy, Brother.â€
“Marriage, Kitt?†I almost shout, shaking my head. “What the hell are you thinking?â€
“I’m thinking,†he says stiffly, “that I don’t have another option.â€
“You’re the king!†This time, I do yell. “You will always have another option. Always have a way out, unlike the rest of us.â€
“Fine, you want another option?†Challenge rings in his voice, smothering any sign of the composed king I returned home to. “My way out is killing her. That is what I was going to do. How does that sound? Are you happy now?â€
We stare at each other, chests heaving. Shock slackens my jaw; terror tightens my chest. His words are nearly as paralyzing as the unspoken ones hanging in the air between us. Because what is worse than her dying is me being the one forced to kill her.
“If I don’t marry her,†Kitt breathes, begging me to understand, “I have no choice but to kill her. She murdered our father, Kai. But as my bride, she can help restore Ilya.†He braces a hand on the desk, leaning in with each word. “This is a mutually beneficial agreement. I would protect her. Twist the truth about what happened between Father and her. And in return, she would be my symbol of peace to the other kingdoms.â€
I comb a hand through my hair. I’m not sure when I started pacing, but my feet now set a swift tempo up and down the worn rug. I laugh then, bitter and unable to stop the sound from bubbling out of me. “Please help me understand, because when I left, you seemed plenty enraged and ready to have me plunge a sword through her chest.†My steely gaze searches his. “So what changed?â€
“Everything,†he breathes, quiet enough to have me regretting my harsh words. “Everything changed. I was a son mourning the man I thought I loved. I see now that it was obsession because love was not an emotion Father taught me. But I was bitter, vengeful, unsteady without him here to guide me.†He takes a shaky breath. “I grieved. I learned. I came to my senses. And you’re right. I’m not the crazed boy you left. I’m a king.â€
His words hit me hard, like a blow to the chest that’s stolen the air from my lungs. I swallow. “What happened to the son who would do anything to please his father? Because this decision goes against everything he wanted for Ilya, even if you’re saving it in the process.â€
He takes a deep breath, avoiding my gaze. “Father only cared about eradicating the Ordinaries, not strengthening this kingdom. He hid under the Elite society he created, and yet, Ilya had never been weaker. I see now how small-minded he was.†Kitt finally meets my stare with a stern one of his own. “And I want to make this kingdom truly great.â€
I nod slowly. Kitt’s zeal shines through each word, now no longer smothered by our father. It’s admirable, his love for this kingdom and resolve to restore it. But pride swells in my chest, not for this king, but for the boy who dreamed only of approval. Now he wears Father’s crown and forsakes the infatuation tethered to it.
I force a calming breath into my lungs.
Thoughts of Father are dangerous. They tend to lead me to her.
Escaping from the darkest corner of my mind, broken words slide off my tongue, barely more than a whisper. “Don’t you hate her?â€
To my surprise, he forces a smile. It’s a sharp, small gesture he’s willing to share with me. “Do you?â€
We eye each other, and for the first time since setting that crown atop his head, I think we might just understand each other. Because suddenly, I see myself in him again. Paedyn is not a right or a wrong, not something as simple as a yes or a no. She is confusion itself, a feeling unplaced, a color between black and white. Hell, she is my Silver Savior. And hating her is not as simple as it may seem.
But for me, it is not loving her that has proven to be difficult.
“I don’t want this to come between us,†Kitt ventures cautiously. “I want things to be as they once were—us against every opposition. Brothers again.â€
I open my mouth to tell him—
The door swings open.
I don’t even need to turn around. The mere presence of her is familiar, branded into the hollow of my neck where her head rests, tethered to my ankle and forever tugging me toward her.
Kitt’s gaze climbs over my shoulder before widening slightly in shock. I turn then, unable to keep my eyes from her any longer.
And there she is. Her stance is somehow stern, expression unsurprisingly the same. Cropped hair dusts her jaw, tousled and wavy. Her father’s leather journal is tucked beneath an arm, flush against the blouse clinging to her figure. Those blue eyes crash into mine like a wave, along with the sudden realization that I’ve been nearly deprived of drowning in them since our arrival to the castle. Only now do I have the privilege to drink her in. I watch her do the same, though the stoic expression she wears never slips.
Pretend.
She’s far better at it than I am. Though, I would expect nothing less from the “Psychic†before me. She has spent the entirety of her life practicing the art of pretending.
Her eyes tear from mine to land on Kitt. “No need to catch me up to speed. I happened to… hear it all.â€
My brows rise with a skeptical sort of amusement. “So, it’s safe to assume that your ear was pressed to the door.â€
Her eyes flick to mine before offering me a deceptively pleasant smile. “Only until the two of you started shouting. Then the entirety of the hall was eavesdropping as well.â€
With a heavy sigh, Kitt lowers himself back into the seat beneath him. “Paedyn, I had every intention of speaking with you about all of this—â€
“Really?†Her voice is sharp, cutting through his words like a blade. “Before or after we are married?â€
I stiffen, eyes sliding down her arm to the shimmering ring choking her finger. It’s so casually been carried into this room, this conversation. The sight of that symbol here, now, possibly forever, has my chest aching.
Maybe I’m even jealous of the ring. Jealous of the way it clings to her skin, feels every shiver of her body. Because that should be me.
“Before, of course.†Kitt’s talking again, voice even. He avoids her gaze. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions.â€
“Oh, I sure do.†The words are little more than a laugh. “Starting with the task you’ve assigned Lenny to.â€
I lean against the desk, legs stretched atop the carpet and ankles crossed. My gaze finds Kitt over a shoulder. “And what task might this be?â€
Kitt opens his mouth, but it’s Pae’s voice I hear. “He’s been ordered to guard…†A bob of her throat. “Blair’s door. And likely every move she makes beyond it.â€
Rage simmers in her eyes, and just like that, I understand what it is that fuels the fire burning within them.
Adena.
I’d watched that branch tear through every muscle and tendon in her chest. Watched Paedyn crumble in that sandy Pit, cry over the bloody body, and scream when it shuddered its last breath.
But behind that tragic scene stood the winner of the final Trial. Blair guided that branch through Adena’s chest with her mind and a smile.
When my eyes slowly climb back to Paedyn’s, it’s revenge that reflects in them. And I have a feeling that Blair’s blood will be the only she enjoys on her hands.
“I have to keep the peace,†Kitt says slowly. “Her father is a trusted general, and I can’t have my future queen picking fights within the castle. I knew you would go after her, and I figured that placing Lenny between you two was the safest option.†He runs a hand through his hair, tousling the blond strands. “I need you on your best behavior if this… arrangement is going to work.â€
“And you want this to work?†Paedyn asks with a sudden calmness that’s begun to creep over her. “Our arrangement. The uniting of the Ordinaries and Elites.â€
“In order to save Ilya, yes,†Kitt clarifies. “We must open trade again, and that is only possible if the surrounding kingdoms no longer despise us. I would elaborate further about our marriage, but it seems you already heard my reasonings through the other side of the door.â€
Her silver hair swishes with a nod. “I did… gather most of the information I was looking for. Except for the question you avoided.†She steps forward, tossing the journal before us. Her fingers curl around the edge of the desk, nearly brushing mine. “Do you not hate me? After everything I’ve done?â€
Kitt takes a long, trembling breath. My eyes flick between the two of them, nothing more than a witness of this civil standoff. “It’s not about hating or loving you. It’s about what is best. And I cannot rule a kingdom that has fallen.â€
“I killed your father,†she replies bluntly. “And you forgive me for that?â€
“You have yet to apologize.â€
“I was protecting myself from him,†she whispers. “I need you to know that. He came at me, and I barely made it out of that fight alive.†Her voice trembles, but she pushes on, head high. “I’m sorry that I killed your father. But I will never apologize for killing a tyrant.â€
Silence smothers the room, so loud it’s nearly deafening.
I watch Kitt’s face for any sort of shift and know that Pae is doing the same with that Psychic-like observance of hers. But he doesn’t so much as blink, perhaps even breathe. When he does speak, his words sound slightly choked. “You don’t need my forgiveness. You only need my protection. And nowâ€â€”Kitt’s voice grows callous, so opposite his tone toward me—“I’ve given you purpose.â€
Her knuckles grow white around the desk’s edge. She blinks, her face a canvas of shock and hurt and muted understanding. But Kitt has every right to harbor animosity toward the Ordinary who killed his father, so Paedyn simply nods in response to his earnestness. She pushes no further on the matter of forgiveness, not now.
“What about everything else? The disease you were told us Ordinaries possess?†She reaches for the journal then, tearing through worn pages until the hasty handwriting is on display. “My father was Adam Gray, a Healer in the slums. And he recorded everything.â€
I cross my arms over my chest. “His journal entries state that Father was bribing the Healers, offering them their weight’s worth in silvers if they backed the lie that Ordinaries were slowly dwindling our powers.†I blow out a breath. “And as much as it pains me to admit it, everything written in that journal adds up. It’s no wonder every Healer lives lavishly in the higher kingdom. They have all the means and no desire to help those in the slums.â€
When my gaze lands on Pae, she nods in silent gratitude before continuing, “Every Elite in this kingdom despises the Ordinaries. Getting paid to spread lies about them was only a bonus for the Healers. And the king,†she adds almost awkwardly, “took advantage of that hatred. He tried to buy my father’s silence, more than once. But he was one of the only Healers who stayed in the slums, aware of the lies but unable to do anything about them.â€
“So he started the Resistance,†Kitt sighs out, still avoiding Paedyn’s wide gaze. “Calum has filled me in on all the details. As did the letter Father left me.†He looks as tired as he sounds when his fingers begin massaging the crease between his brows. “I know of the lies Healers have spread for decades.â€
Paedyn swallows. “And are you going to tell the kingdom this?â€
Kitt waves a dismissive hand. “Yes. Though I’ll spin the truth into something more appealing. I may have grown to despise my father in recent weeks, but that does not mean I wish to tarnish our family’s name.†He leans forward then, eying the ring on her hand that I can’t bring myself to look at. “I will protect the Azer legacy. But…†His next words are reluctant. “I will also protect you, Paedyn. The kingdom will be told a variation of what really happened outside that arena between you and the king.â€
There is an edge to his voice, a bitterness I don’t recognize from him. And it doesn’t seem to be directed at me. Shoving the thought aside, I nod down toward the desk drenched in parchment. “What of the records and Calum? They convinced you to change Ilya?â€
Turning to me, Kitt’s expression softens. “It wasn’t immediate. I had spoken to Calum several times, trying to glean information about the attack. Only, he spoke mostly of why there was a Resistance in the first place. I learned more about the slums and deprivation the kingdom—my kingdom—was heading toward.†His gaze drifts to Paedyn. “Everything he said paired perfectly with what I had seen the day you snuck me from the castle. I know now how that was little more than a betrayal for the Resistanceâ€â€”he nearly laughs then—“but, nevertheless, it helped open my eyes.
“Calum, Mind Reader that he is, knew I was beginning to see the truth. He counseled me, suggested I marry Paedyn in order to save Ilya. I wasn’t going to. Not at first.†The king looks up at me. “But I visited the queen—your mother—and she told me of the letter Father had left for me. It was a plan, she said, for the future Edric wished Ilya to have. Something each king passes down to the next.â€
He pauses to clear his throat. “It was only after reading it that I realized what needed to be done. Father didn’t care about Ilya—he hated Ordinaries. And the damning records of our dwindling food supply and overpopulation was proof of that. He failed to create an Elite society, and now we must face the consequences.â€
Each word rings with disgust and betrayal. And I am glad of it. Finally, after all these years trying to please him, Kitt sees our father for what he is—was. Paedyn’s expression reflects the king’s, as though he’s spat every bit of revulsion onto her face.
“His hopes for Ilya were crippling. Simpleminded. And he wanted me to continue them for him.†Kitt shakes his head in reminiscence of a time when he would have done anything for our father. “He was destroying this kingdom for a futile cause. It was greatness he craved, and instead, he accomplished mediocrity.â€
My brows lift, as if floated up by the wave of shock flooding through me. This certainly is not the brother I left mere weeks prior. Something has changed, stemming from something else as seemingly insignificant as disappointment.
“So,†Paedyn ventures skeptically, “you no longer want to obey your father’s wishes?â€
She asks this knowing full well Kitt’s reputation. His whole life has been spent aiming to please a single man who he has now defied with a single decree. My gaze flicks to the king seated before us, watching words fall from lips tinged with a smile. “Why obey a man when I can be a far greater one? I once thought Father’s plans for this kingdom were worth my unflinching loyalty, but now I see that they are not.â€
It’s difficult, trying to fight my smile.
Kitt has finally broken free from Father’s choking grip.
“You’re doing this solely to save Ilya.†It’s not a question from the Silver Savior, but rather, a disappointed declaration.
Kitt laces his fingers atop the desk. “I do this to make us great.â€
“You don’t care for a unified kingdom?†Paedyn counters.
“That is not why I am doing this.†The king’s voice remains steady in the face of Pae’s scrutiny. “It is, for some, a positive outcome, though I don’t much care for the Elites’ powers dwindling due to repopulation with Ordinaries. Mundanes already make up half of our numbers. But we will deal with that at a later time.â€
I hold my breath as Paedyn considers this for a moment. And when she leans in over the desk, so do I. “I have dreamt of a free, united Ilya all my life, and if this is the only way to achieve that, then so be it.†Her voice grows hesitant. “But it seems I have the rest of my life to change your perspective on Ordinaries.â€
Kitt dips his head. “Everything has changed. And now I too wish for all of us to be united.â€
My heart bangs against my chest, beating for her, beating for every moment we may never get to spend together. And when words finally spill from her lips, she might as well have plunged a dagger into my back like she promised so long ago.
“Then I will marry you, Kitt. To save this kingdom from itself.â€
