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Chapter no 35

Fearless (The Powerless Trilogy, #3)

The spear grows slick in my hand.

My boots pound against the slippery deck, drowning out the sound of Kai’s shout behind me.

But I’ve watched this beast. Learned its strengths. Discovered its weakness.

And this is not the first monster I have faced.

So when it turns its luminous green eyes on me, baring numerous rows of jagged teeth, I do not back down. I do not fail, or falter, or feel remorse.

Every beast can be defeated.

A creature. A Trial. A king.

I lift the heavy spear, cocking back my arm. Hot breath washes over me when the monster roars. Scaly skin flares around its face as it slithers closer, jaws snapping and teeth glinting.

And I roar right back.

The creature screeches louder, blowing my hair back and watering my eyes. Still, I stand before it. My chest heaves; heart hammers. And then I let the spear fly from my hand to meet the beast racing right for me.

The monster’s jaw widens, readying to sink those lethal fangs into my flesh—

I look Death in the eye as my spear sinks into it.

The beast roars in pain, body bucking as blood pours from its once-glowing iris. Screeching, it rattles the ship, shaking its head in an attempt to dislodge the piercing weapon. I stumble when the boat pitches, falling to my knees beneath the creature. Even when staring up into the embodiment of terror, I realize that this is still half the beast I’ve faced in the past.

With one final roar of anguish, it arcs over the ship, over my crumpled body, and dives into the waves.

I feel numb. I’m shaking as water sprays onto the deck, misting me with salty droplets. What remains of the crew stands stunned and bloody, all staring at the stirring sea where the creature disappeared.

Kai is beside me in an instant, hands frigid atop my skin. His palms have slid around my neck to tangle numb fingers in my soaking hair. “What were you thinking?” he scolds, wide eyes searching mine. “Do I need to order you to your room next time?”

I smile weakly. “That won’t work when I’m queen.”

His lips are stained blue with cold, and yet they still twitch into a smile. “I can be very persuasive.”

“Well I’ll be damned, the Silver Savior does it again!”

I turn toward the captain’s bellowing voice, his timing impeccable as ever. The limping crew gathers around him, some dripping with water, others blood. Torri holds an arm tightly to his injured chest and pushes the pain from his voice. “We’ve conquered the beast!”

A weak chant begins to rise from their collective throats, one I thought I would never hear again.

“Silver Savior!”

“Silver Savior!”

“Silver Savior!”

And I might have liked the sound of it.


I’ve never been so relieved to set foot in Ilya.

Mostly because I’m looking forward to standing on something solid without the worry of it caving in beneath my feet.

The ship is in ruin, and it has been for the last two days. Only by the strength of Elites has it managed to reach Ilya’s dock. With nearly half the crew lost to the sea and the beast dwelling within it, surviving this final stretch of the Shallows was no simple task. Teles worked in shifts to hold the most vital pieces of the ship together with their minds while Gusts blew a constant stream of air into the torn sails. Any excess weight was thrown overboard in an attempt to help keep us afloat, leaving only bread and water to fill our stomachs.

I lean against one of the only remaining chunks of railing, readying to spring out of the way if the boards beneath my feet give way—which they have done on several terrifying occasions. The hull groans in agony against the waves, as though begging for a swift sinking into the sea. Even the Reckoning pleads for rest.

I keep my gaze on the approaching dock even as Kai comes to stand beside me. My voice is quiet. “Do you think he’s down there?”

Kai’s gray gaze falls to the cluster of bodies awaiting us on the rickety moor, their faces blurry from this distance. “Kitt?”

I nod coolly.

A shake of his head. “I hope not. It’s dangerous for him to be so exposed without me. But”—his sigh is weary—“he probably is.”

Thoughts spill from my mouth. “I don’t think he wants to be looked after.”

“He should be grateful that someone cares enough to do so,” Kai retorts stiffly. “Not all of us had that luxury.”

I turn toward him, taking in the stony expression he now wears. “Why did your father treat you two so differently?”

The question seems to surprise him. “We had very different roles in life.”

“I know, but…” I grapple for the right words and try again. “He could have tutored Kitt with the same callousness and hate that he trained you with. I mean, that is why your brother still cares for the king you hated.” My eyes wander back to the approaching dock. “You knew different versions of the same man.”

“That is exactly why Kitt never fully understood my disdain for Father,” Kai adds quietly. “Why he lived to please him while I lived to spite him.”

I smile slightly. “Is that why you chose to spend so much time with me during the Trials? To spite him?”

He seems to weigh his words carefully. “Among many other reasons.” I roll my eyes before he adds, “Although, I always thought it was odd how boldly Kitt befriended you. Father hated that I was associated with you, so for Kitt to go against the king’s wishes because of you…” He shakes his head. “It was unexpected.”

“And now he’s marrying the Ordinary your father hated,” I murmur. “The same one that killed him.”

Kai takes a deep breath. “Kitt has always feared failing our father. But I think… I think he also fears turning into the one I hated. Along with that letter Kitt found, your fight with the king may have helped him see reason.” He shrugs slightly. “The king came after you out of hatred for what you are not.”

I glance over at him. “And you believe me about that?”

“After that battle at the Bowl, the Sight who witnessed your fight met with Kitt and me privately.” He looks over at me, grief in his gaze. “We watched some of what happened. With the rain, we couldn’t make out what was being said, and Kitt couldn’t bear to watch more than a minute of it.”

It is then that I see his grief is not for the king I killed. But for me and everything I endured by his hand. I blink, bewildered by this new information. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You still killed the king,” Kai answers evenly. “Kitt was still angry. So was the kingdom. At the end of the day, you were still a murderer.” His eyes flick over me. “And I wanted to hear your side of the story, because we still didn’t know what really happened.”

I’ve now buried that vicious fight in the darkest depths of my mind. It sits among the bloody pool in which my father lies, right next to an image of too-short curly bangs and the unseeing hazel eyes beneath.

Unanswered questions swirl near that dark corner, drifting in and out of my thoughts. One belongs to the true identity of my parents while another lies within that battle against the king—his motives and confessions equally confusing. Adena’s presence in that final Trial never fails to keep me up at night, mocking me in my dreams with ways I might have saved her.

I swallow. “He all but told me that the Ordinaries’ disease was a lie, you know.”

There is a long pause filled only with the sound of a slapping sea. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“Would you have believed me?” I counter.

He says nothing.

“I had no proof but my own word, and that meant little after what I’d done. So, I wanted you to discover the truth yourself.” I glance down at the sparkling ring on my finger. “But I still am a murderer.”

“And you’re still far better than most.”

I shake my head. The stifled darkness within me says otherwise.

I’m quiet until a soft question surprises my lips. “So, what do you fear?” He looks over at me, subtly intrigued. “You told me what Kitt fears. Now I want to know what could possibly frighten Ilya’s mighty Enforcer.”

He chuckles darkly. “I’m afraid of plenty.”

I raise a brow. “Is it me you’re scared of, Prince?”

His answer is quick and earnest. “I’m scared of what could happen to you. What I could do to you.” A muscle twitches in his jaw. “I fear every swipe of my sword and every command from my mouth. It haunts me.”

Emotion clogs my throat, forcing me to swallow back a sudden wave of grief. My heart aches for this boy who never got to be one. “It’s not fair,” I manage. “This life you’re forced to live.”

His eyes are a storm that sweeps over my face. “It might just all be worth it if it means I can protect you.”

I shake my head at him as the ship lurches against the dock. Kai steps away at the reminder of who we are supposed to be to each other in this city. Glancing down at the dozens of awaiting faces, he says, “Why ask? About Kitt and our father?”

I tip my head toward the dock, eyes pinned on a pair I know to be green. “I guess I’m just trying to understand him better.”

Kitt’s blond hair ruffles in the wind beneath the crown he wears, both glinting gold within the circle of Imperials surrounding their king. He looks oddly… dulled. Weary. His hands are folded over the fine green tunic he wears, and—

And his eyes are on mine.

For a moment, I feel as though I’m back in the Bowl, meeting his gaze from afar as I stand within a game meant to prove myself.

“Pae?”

The sound of that nickname tears my eyes from the dock below and fixes them on the Enforcer beside me. “Hmm?”

“I asked if you were ready to get the hell off this thing.”

My smile is tight. “Yes, very.”

I follow him toward the wooden ramp, feeling it creak beneath my weight as I descend onto the dock. A wall of Imperials on the rocky shore separates the gawking Ilyans from us, though I can feel the countless pairs of eyes raking over me. I bristle beneath the many gazes examining every inch of the girl they likely hoped to never see again.

The captain follows closely behind as we make our way over to the king. Kitt smiles tightly at me, and it’s a relief not to be scrutinized by him as well. Perhaps he is happy to see me return in one piece. Perhaps distance, and the likelihood of my imminent death, really does make the heart grow fonder.

When the Imperials part to let us greet him, it’s Torri who speaks first. “Your Majesty—”

“Kai!”

A flurry of limbs pushes through the throng of Imperials to bound toward the Enforcer. Kai barely has enough time to spread his arms before Jax crashes into them. The boy clings to his brother, face buried in his shoulder.

Jax sniffles. “You’re alive.”

“Of course, J,” Kai murmurs. “I had to make it back home to you.”

My gaze is torn from their heartfelt reunion when Torri clears his throat. “As I was saying, Your Majesty, it was an honor to sail under Ilya’s colors once again. As you can see”—he gestures to the battered boat behind—“we encountered the beast that lurks within the Shallows, but under my command, we now live to tell the tale.”

Kitt nods his appreciation. “Thank you, Captain Torri. Your bravery and service to our kingdom will be greatly rewarded.”

Kai clears his throat, arm still slung around Jax. “I believe praise is due to the one who saved us from that beast.” He lifts a hand toward me, and the gesture alone has every eye back on my disheveled figure.

Heat stains my cheeks as I throw a warning glance Kai’s way. This doesn’t go unnoticed by the king. His tired eyes flick to me. “Is that so?”

I take a breath and paste a warm grin on my face. “I may have helped deliver the final blow. Which wasn’t very benevolent”—I clear my throat—“toward the creature.”

Kai dips his head, hiding a smile. Jax follows after his older brother, though far less discreetly with a choking cough. And Kitt—

Kitt just stares at me.

I can’t read this look, and I typically pride myself on being able to do just that. Something like realization lights those green eyes. Or perhaps it’s awe I see traced within the lines around his slight grin. But before I can decipher this expression, he’s reaching a hand toward me.

His knuckles brush mine before I let him interlace our fingers. This is for the people piled on that rocky shore, their prying gazes pinned on us. “It seems you’ll make a fine queen.” The diamond on my finger grows heavy. “It’s as though you were born for this.”

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