Rough bark tears at my sweating palms.
I cling to the tree trunk, feeling my feet sway atop the thin branch beneath me. Extending my free arm, I rap my knuckles against the window beside me.
She takes her time. Of course she does.
I watch a devious smile curve her lips as she strides slowly toward the bedroom window and into the streaming moonlight. She takes a long moment on the other side of that locked glass, committing the sight of me begging for her attention to memory. So I stand there helplessly, gripping a branch while entirely at her mercy.
Shaking my head at her cruelty, I will myself not to look down at the gaping span of open air beneath me. Izram’s rocky soil grows few plants and even less grass, but I discovered a small patchy field behind the castle on my search for a discreet way into Paedyn’s room. The few trees that sway back here are clustered close to the white stone, one of which even brushes against Pae’s window.
And now I’ve climbed it for her.
I hear the latch click before she’s finally pushing open the swinging glass pane. “You’ve already broken one arm climbing a tree. Do you really wish to tempt fate again?”
I smile, because I can’t seem to help it when she plays with me, but also because she remembers what I had told her under that willow so long ago. “Kitt and I were visiting Ava when that happened, you know.” I watch her eyes widen at the confession she could have only understood now. “He bet that I could never climb the willow as quickly as Ava once had, and I knew damn well he was right, but…”
“But you tried,” she finishes with a small smile. “And landed face-first in the dirt.”
I chuckle and carefully inch closer to the window. “It was worth it. I was visiting A, and for a moment, it felt as though she was with me.”
My words have something shifting in her expression. “And if you fell now? Would it be worth it?”
I reach through the window to grip the sill, my knuckles brushing her hips. “Well, I’m visiting you, aren’t I?” She flashes a worrying smile that has me adding, “That’s not an invitation to push me, Gray.” Her laugh skitters over my skin as I climb through the window, planting my boots beside her bare feet.
My gaze falls to the scar peeking out from beneath the thick strap of her tank. This look doesn’t go unnoticed, and she is quick to turn back toward her borrowed bed. “What are you doing here?”
I clear my throat. “I didn’t see you yesterday. Figured you missed me.”
“That’s why you climbed through my window?” She snorts. “Because I missed yo—?”
I’ve moved before even realizing. My hands are on her hips, and I’m spinning her around to face me before my mouth crashes into hers.
It’s incessant. Fervent. Relief.
She’s startled for a heartbeat, but parting her lips for me in the next. I pull her close, feeling her hot skin beneath the thin clothing she wears. Her body melts against mine, and a soft sound slips between her lips that has me gripping that silver hair between my fingers.
I force myself to pull away, smiling at her reluctance to let me go. “Fine,” she breathes against my lips. “I might have missed you a little.”
I chuckle before planting kisses along her jaw. This has a soft sigh dripping from her parted lips, and I’m not sure she knows how much power the sound has over me. I feel her throat bob beneath my fingers. “How are… how are things at the ship?”
I pull back with an amused smile. “That is what you want to talk about? The ship?”
“Well, we leave tomorrow afternoon,” she says breathlessly. “I’d like to know my odds of survival.”
My voice lowers into something more serious. “And if I say that this could be your final night alive?”
“Darling”—she flicks my nose lightly, wearing a cool smile—“every night could be my last.”
The use of my name for her has a ridiculous grin lighting my face. But then she’s spinning on her heel and plopping down on the plush covers of her bed. I follow slowly, shoving my now-idle hands into the pockets of my dark pants. “Well, the ship is still floating, if that is what you’re asking. Though, I’m not sure for how long.”
“You don’t think it will survive the trip back?” she asks slowly.
“Only time will tell.”
She sighs as if I’ve told her something she has already known. With a beckoning pat of her hand against the comforter, I swiftly obey and sit. That blue gaze drifts over me in the dim moonlight. “You…” Her finger finds the ring on her thumb and begins spinning it swiftly. “You said ‘A’ earlier. Is that what you used to call Ava?”
I nod slowly. “Yes. It was.”
“That’s what I called Adena.” She blinks rapidly, as if to ward off tears before they form. “I guess I’m just not used to hearing the nickname for anyone else.”
Something in my chest begins its steady ache. It might just be my blackened heart or stained soul. Or perhaps it’s the piece of me that belongs to her, and I’m simply feeling a sliver of the pain she possesses.
“She was my A.” My throat tightens. “Ava was my Adena. But they don’t go far.” I gently lift her arm until she’s pressing a palm to her beating heart. “Your A lives here now.”
Paedyn nods, again and again. Her voice is a choked sound as she blinks back a wave of emotions. “Don’t leave me. Please. Especially not now, but please not ever.”
“Never,” I whisper, tipping my forehead against hers.
Her breath hitches. “You can’t leave me. I don’t have enough room in my heart for the both of you.”
I let go of her wrist to cup the face above it instead. “Death himself couldn’t drag me from you.”
The morning light on my face tells me it’s time to make my escape.
I blink groggily while attempting to carefully slip my arm from beneath Pae’s head. She stirs when the heat of me slides away, though I quickly replace it with a blanket around her bare shoulders. This seems to satisfy, her breath slowing and body relaxing.
A strange sensation tugs on the corners of my consciousness, though I ignore it for the distraction lying beside me. I reach for a stray strand of silver hair and—
Someone clears their throat.
My hand is suddenly beneath the pillow, gripping the hilt of Paedyn’s dagger before I’ve even turned toward the sound. But when my eyes crash into a dazzling green pair, I’m startled enough to stop and stare.
The queen sits stoically in one of the plushy seats beside the stone fireplace, her gaze gleaming with amusement. Focusing on her pristine features, I feel that strange sensation grow beneath my skin, as though something stirs at the mere sight of her. A teacup sits delicately in her palm, its rim stained the deep red of her lips. “Sorry to interrupt,” she muses evenly.
My eyes dart to the still-sleeping Paedyn beside me before flicking back to the expectant queen. I clear my throat. “You’re not interrupting.”
“No?” She clicks her tongue at me. “I figured you would be a better liar, Enforcer.”
“May I ask why you’re here, Your Majesty?” This is said with as much respect as I can muster.
“You may.” She shrugs an eerily smooth shoulder. “But I may not give you an answer.”
“Of course,” I murmur between my teeth. “Well, as you can see, Paedyn is sleeping so—”
“I like her, you know,” she cuts in dryly. “Perhaps due to the fact that she killed your father. Because, well, let’s face it.” Her long nails click against the porcelain teacup. “He was a dick. Though, I’m a bit jealous I didn’t get to finish him off myself.”
I stare at her, uncertain how she expects me to respond to that. Nearly every person outside Ilya would say the same about Edric Azer, though I have a strange sense that her hatred runs deeper than the isolation of her kingdom.
Conscious of my shirtless body and disheveled appearance, I run a hand through my hair. “I can’t say I was too torn up about his death either.”
“Hmm.” She taps a finger to those full lips. I study her for a moment, taking in the near ethereal glow she exudes. It’s startling. “Yes, I figured you might feel the same. Considering the whispers I’ve heard of what he did to you.”
This has my eyes narrowing in a slight show of surprise. I hadn’t expected the tales of my torturous childhood to reach her ears across the Shallows. But her sigh of indifference cuts through my thoughts. “So, does your brother know?”
I stare at her. “Know what?”
She takes a slow sip of her tea, flicking a finger between my body and the one sleeping beside it. “Take a guess.”
Heat flushes my body, but I keep my voice steady. “I’m her Enforcer.”
“Oh, I know.” She laughs dryly. “I just didn’t think this was part of the job description.”
“This is the best way for me to protect her,” I manage. “She is the future queen of Ilya, after all.”
She nods in a slow, mocking way. “Right. Right.” Another sip of tea. “So you’re in love with your brother’s betrothed?”
“I…”
“Sorry,” she says innocently. “That’s just what I’m gathering from this little interaction.”
I stand from the mattress and pull a shirt over my head. “I’m just doing my duty.”
“Well”—she sets the teacup down on the small table beside her—“in my experience, there is love. And there is duty. But there is never both.”
My chest rises and falls quickly. “I know I can’t have her.”
“Do you?” She tilts her head at me, black hair tumbling over a shoulder. “It seems as though you’ve convinced yourself otherwise.”
I open my mouth, only to hear her speaking again. “There is love within duty, and duty within love. You can’t have one without the other, and yet”—she takes a deep breath, her gaze distant—“you can never truly have both. So choose, Kai Azer. The girl. Or power. And whether or not she is worth the destruction of everything you are.”
I say nothing as she waves her dismissal at me in the form of wiggling fingers. “Now, out. I’ll be having breakfast with a fellow queen now.”
Her sharp words follow me out the door. “You know, you are quite the pretty prince. In a different life of mine, perhaps I would have kept you for myself.”
