She’s lost her shoes.
Well, she had.
That was before I’d scoured the ballroom for them, knowing Paedyn would not. Seeing that she flung them off her feet with a declaration of discomfort, I’m sure she was quite content to never find them.
Now, swaying in time to the music, she hardly notices the heels hanging from my fingers. I lean against the pillar, watching her with a smile that has rarely left my lips all evening.
Her familiar silver dress clings to the body beneath, rippling with each of her movements. She’s hypnotizing—every laugh, every smile, every sway of her hips. Her cheeks are flushed pink beneath the strands of silver hair falling over her face. But despite her glistening skin, Paedyn doesn’t remove the thin shawl around her shoulders.
And I may be the only one in this room that knows why.
Lifting my eyes from where I know Father’s parting gift to her lies beneath the fabric, I find her lifting yet another glass of alcohol to those distracting red lips. I push off the pillar, halting her arm before the liquid can slip down her pretty throat. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I may need to cut you off for the night.”
Her eyebrows rise comically, every movement exaggerated. “You cutting me off?” She leans closer, tilting her head at me. “That seems a bit ironic.”
“Trust me, darling.” I sigh. “I’m well aware.”
She waves her glass at me, sloshing champagne over the brim of it. “Aren’t you the one who loves to get drunk at these boring balls?” With her free hand, she shoves a finger into my chest. “Then you’d beg for a dance with me. And occasionally unlace my dress afterward.”
I chuckle at her sly grin. “You know why I did that.”
“Yes, but what I don’t know,” she says innocently, “is why you haven’t since.”
“Are you…” I shake my head at her in disbelief. “Are you flirting with me, Gray?”
She giggles in a way I’ve never heard before but would beg to again. “I’m simply thinking out loud.”
Now it’s my turn to tilt my head at her. “Then I would certainly like to hear what else it is you are thinking.”
“Why aren’t you drinking with me?” she shoots back with a mischievous grin.
“Someone has to look after you.”
She takes a step closer. “I have a fiancé.”
“And yet…” I dangle the heels in front of her. “I’m the one carrying your shoes. Though, I am worried about what it is you’ll be taking off next.”
This has Pae laughing, loudly. Her teeth are bright against red lips, and I can do nothing but study the unbridled brilliance of that smile. “Why, because I won’t let you help?”
I shrug a shoulder, my eyes darting across the packed room. “Because I don’t like to share.”
This seems to still her for a moment. At least, long enough to take a slow swig of champagne. Then her eyes are pinned on that sparkling ring, even while returning my shrug. “Well, you’ll have plenty of time to get used to it.”
I’m not even drunk, but her words are sobering. They cut right through me, the reminder a slap to the face. Because I will forever be sharing her in secret, in the shadow of her marriage to my brother. That thought alone has me dropping her forgotten shoes and snatching the glass from her hands. In one swift movement I down the stolen liquid, savoring its sweetness on my tongue.
Her eyebrows rise as a laugh tumbles from her mouth. “Changed your mind about keeping an eye on me, hmm?”
I wave over a servant, grabbing two more flutes of champagne from his tray. “Oh, I’ll still have my eyes on you when I’m drunk, darling. And that is exactly the problem.”
Taking the glass I extend, she gives me a wry look. “And why would that be a problem?”
I lean toward her to murmur, “We are supposed to be keeping our distance, remember? I have enough trouble doing that when I’m sober.”
Something about the way she’s looking up at me has already made it difficult to think straight. This version of Paedyn seems to be even more dangerous than the one who unflinchingly holds a blade to my throat. Alcohol emboldens, loosening her lips to spew sober thoughts. And, truthfully, I’m not sure how to hold myself back from a Paedyn who so brazenly pursues me.
In fact, she might even be making me nervous. I’m unused to the feeling.
“In that case…” Her voice is a lazy drawl as she presses her fingers to the bottom of my glass, lifting it to my mouth. Even as she tips the glass against my lips, our gazes never roam from each other. “Let’s test that self-control of yours, Enforcer,” she croons, handing her own champagne to me.
I sigh before sipping generously from her glass. “Is that not what you’ve been doing since the day we met?”
She clicks her tongue. “I won’t be charmed by your pretty words, Prince.”
The corner of my mouth curls into a wicked smile. “Seems a bit late for that, doesn’t it?”
“Cocky bastard,” she whispers.
“Pretty Pae.”
I admire her for a long moment, desperately wishing we were the only ones in this room. Wishing there was no audience, no rules to follow. She seems to be thinking the same thing, because with a huff, she grabs the glass from my hand and finishes off the champagne.
“I want to dance,” she declares, face flushed.
I slip my hands into the pockets of my dark pants. “Well, you’ll have to ask me properly.”
“And what makes you think I want to dance with you?”
“I can’t think of a reason you wouldn’t want to, actually.”
Her smirk sharpens before she turns her back on me and calls, “Jax!”
A lanky figure across the room whips around at the sound of his name. When his gaze lands on a waving Paedyn, his face splits into a grin. He hurries over, his long strides carrying him quickly through the crowd.
“Hi, Paedyn!” He says this cheerily enough to disguise the nerves rattling his voice.
“Hello, Jax.” When she smiles at him, I catch the nervous bob of Jax’s throat. “I’ve missed you.”
“R-really?”
“Of course.” She extends her hand. “Now, let’s dance.”
Jax’s eyes widen. Paedyn, on the other hand, shoves her empty glass into my palm. Then she’s throwing a smug look over her shoulder while pulling my little brother onto the dance floor. I shake my head at her bare back, watching that silver dress ripple behind, Jax in tow.
It’s not long before I’m chuckling at the two of them attempting a dance. They have barely managed a series of steps without stumbling, and Pae can’t stop laughing long enough to even try. Instead, she seems to have abandoned the choreography accompanying this song and is now doing whatever the hell she wants.
Picking up her shoes, I return to my spot against the pillar, leaning there as I watch them spin around the room. As they smile brightly, their laughter cuts through the commotion of the room, reaching even my ears. It reminds me of a time when—
“We used to laugh like that all the time.”
Kitt brushes my shoulder as he rounds the pillar. I glance over at him with a shake of my head. “You read my mind.”
He sounds tired. “I miss enjoying these balls.”
“As do I.” I stare out onto the dance floor. “At least someone is having a good time.”
He takes a sip of his drink, eyes following Paedyn’s spinning figure. “She seems so… happy.”
“Well,” I sigh, “half a dozen glasses of champagne will do that to a person.”
Kitt snorts. “So she’s taking a page out of your book for the night?”
“It would seem so.” I crack a smile. “But she’s definitely doing it better. I would have stolen a bottle of something stronger and staggered off to my room by now.”
“And I would follow,” Kitt adds, “because I refuse to endure a ball if you aren’t suffering with me.”
I shake my head, smiling at the floor. “The good old days, huh?”
“Oh, yes.” He blows out a breath. “I wish these balls were our biggest concern now.”
I’m not sure what compels me to say it. Even the words taste bitter. “I wish they were my biggest concern then, too. But I was busy being cut open by our father.”
I can feel his shocked gaze roaming my face. “Kai, I… I can’t tell you how sorry I am about that. What he was to you, what he put you through, was just so… different from the man I knew.”
Guilt twines its way around me as I immediately regret the words. Taking a breath, I look him in the eyes. Father’s eyes. “I only say that to remind you of how much better you can be. How much better you’ve already become.”
His eyes light with an emotion I can’t quite make out. “I want to be better. Hell, I want to be great.”
“And you will be.” My hand meets his shoulder, shaking it slightly. “I’m with you until the very end.”
His voice is a murmur, earnest as the gaze he pins on me. “You and me, Brother.”
“You and me,” I repeat.
We share something then. A smile. A moment of understanding. A repairing of a bond once strained.
It’s taken much grief and anger to get here, but I’m proud to say that my brother has returned to me. This is the Kitt I know and love. This is the friend I’ll spend the rest of my life with.
This is the man who is marrying the woman I love.
I push the thought away. “That was too depressing a topic for a ball. We should be attempting to have fun.”
Kitt nods to the dance floor. “I think the two of them are having enough fun for the both of us.”
Indeed, they were. Jax and Paedyn had yet to stop causing a scene with their incessant spinning. “Has it been three dances? If they have any more, the court may begin to think our little brother is trying to steal away your betrothed.”
“Oh, I doubt that’s the brother they’re worried about,” Kitt says evenly.
Here we go.
I have rehearsed my rebuttal to this touchy topic. Clearing my throat, I ensure it is only those soft, practiced words that fill the air between us. “I don’t want to get in the way of you two.”
It is the truth. I have no desire to be the wedge driven between them. But that is what I am, and I will not stop loving her because of it.
Kitt chuckles, and I’m slightly startled by the sound. “It is not you who’s getting in the way.”
I don’t have the chance to ponder his words. He moves on quickly, avoiding any further discussion on the matter. And some cowardly part of myself is thankful for it. “Andy seems to be enjoying the show.”
Scanning the crowd, I find her familiar wine hair among the throng of bodies. I can see her body shaking with laughter from here, one hand pressed to her mouth while the other curls around her pretty dance partner.
My eyes quickly flick over the crowd to land on a shock of lilac hair. Pressed close to Blair is the tall redhead I know to be Paedyn’s friend. “It was risky having Blair here, you know. The queen-to-be nearly tore her head off in front of the whole court.”
The words have Kitt taking a drink. “Oh, I know. But I need to somehow… acclimate the two of them.” He coughs quickly into a curled fist. “I can’t keep them separated forever. And I certainly can’t have my queen attacking the people in this castle.”
My queen.
It’s the way he says the words that has me tensing. And that is precisely the reaction he was looking for. Aside from my subtle flinch, I keep my expression blank and gaze forward. “No, you can’t have that.” Turning to face him, I lower my voice, adding, “But if I know anything about your queen, it’s that she will always find a way. To survive or to kill. And I’m not sure anyone can outlive Paedyn’s wrath.” My eyes flick to the dancing couple, a lilac-haired girl in the arms of my Imperial.
Kitt nods. “I don’t doubt that. You know her better than I do. Better than you once knew me.”
“I would know you in every life, Brother.” My words are hurried. I step in front of him, facing my other half fully. “More than any other soul. Believe that.”
He smiles—a slow, relieved movement. His hand clutches my arm as he ducks his head, hiding the emotion shining in those green eyes. “And I you.”
I loose a breath, feeling the tension flee from my body. This is the brother I know, the bond I know to have with him. And I cannot bear to lose that.
“Are those her shoes?”
I follow Kitt’s gaze to where the heels dangle from my hooked fingers. My laugh is muffled by the hand I run down my face. “She took them off about two glasses of champagne ago.”
The king’s gaze crawls over my shoulder. “Speak of the devil.”
I turn slowly toward the dance floor, and there she is, striding toward us with a dazzling smile between rosy cheeks. I’m breathless at the sight of her, doomed by the hope of having her. It’s a beautiful ruin, a devastating devotion. This girl holds my heart in her hands, could crush it between her fingers and still have me thanking her for the touch.
And I hold her shoes.
