- Once Riley leaves , I break down sobbing. I did this
that I had to, but did it really have to be this painful? I stay still for a moment, curled up on the couch, thinking about what she told me about the accident, that it wasn’t my fault. I would like to believe it, but I know it’s not true. Four lives were destroyed that day, because of me.
All that for the pathetic sky blue sweatshirt from cheerleading camp.
- I’ll buy you another one, my father promised, looking at me in the rearview mirror, both pairs of blue eyes
identical crossing each other. If I turn around now, we’ll get into traffic.
- But it’s my favorite, I got it at cheerleading camp. You won’t find them in stores.
I looked at him with a little pout, knowing that I was close to convincing him.
- Do you care about it that much?
I nodded with a big smile, and he turned around, before looking back at me in the rearview mirror as the doe appeared in front of the car.
I want to believe Riley, to get used to this new way of looking at things. But, knowing the truth, I will never succeed.
As I dry my tears, I think about what Ava said. If it was Riley I was supposed to say goodbye to, I was wrong to reject Damen.
I reach out my hand to take the lollipop, placed on the table, and
lets out a little cry of surprise when she notices that she has changed into a tulip.
A huge bright red tulip.
I rush to my room, open my computer
laptop on the bed and launches a search on the meaning of flowers. I scan the page diagonally until I come across the following passage:
“In the eighteenth century, people often communicated their
intentions in sending flowers, each having a specific meaning. Here are the most common ones. »
I scroll down the alphabetical list looking for the word “tulip”.
“Red tulip – symbol of eternal love. »
Out of curiosity, I go to “white rose” and burst out laughing while reading:
“White rose – symbolizes the heart which does not know how to love, which ignores love. »
And suddenly I understand that Damen was testing me.
From the beginning. He kept the secret that would turn my life upside down, without really knowing how to reveal it to me, without knowing how
I was going to react: if I was going to accept, refuse, or not listen to him. He was flirting with Stacia to test my reactions, to be able to read my
thoughts, to know if I cared about him. But I had taken so much
habit of lying to myself, refusing to admit my feelings about just about everything, that I ended up confusing us both.
Even though I don’t approve of what he did, I’m forced
to admit that the subterfuge worked. Now, if I want to see him again, I just need to say the right words and he will
will manifest. It’s true, I love him. Since the first day. To the
second I saw him. Even when I swore otherwise. I can’t help it, it’s the truth. And then, even if I have my doubts about this
story of immortality, Perpetual Summer, it was pretty cool. And if Riley is right and destiny exists, then maybe it really is mine?
I close my eyes and imagine the warmth of Damen’s body
against mine, the delicious caress of his lips against my ear, my neck, my cheek, the softness of his mouth on mine… I
I cling to this image, to our perfect love, to this perfect kiss, and I finally dare to whisper the words that I have held back for so long, that I was so afraid to say, the words that will bring him back to me.
I say them and repeat them, louder and louder, my voice fills the room.
But when I open my eyes, I’m alone. I waited too long.
